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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25776085">Broken Little Soldier</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchAlpha/pseuds/ArchAlpha'>ArchAlpha</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Abusive John Winchester, Affairs, Angst and Feels, Childhood Trauma, Daddy Issues, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kid Fic, M/M, Sex, Underage Dean Winchester, step father</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:09:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>101,438</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25776085</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchAlpha/pseuds/ArchAlpha</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Prequel to His Green Eyes.</p><p>Dean Winchester is eleven years old when he meets Castiel Novak, the man dating his father.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/John Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Start Of Something</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22042438">His Green Eyes</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArchAlpha/pseuds/ArchAlpha">ArchAlpha</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>More chapters coming soon xo</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What!" Dean sets aside the plastic army men so he can go see what his mother wanted. When he walks into the kitchen he sees that breakfast was made and on the table ready for him to dive into. He was extra happy to see the waffles, it had been a while since he'd had them.</p><p>"Sit down and eat sweetie." she pulls out the chair so he can sit and kisses the top of his head. "You're getting so big-" she says warmly, pouring her son some orange juice in his favorite Batman cup. "I'm thinking it's time for some new clothes, school's starting soon-how about a new backpack too?"</p><p>"You know I don't have cash for all that-" John grumbles, holding up his mug so his wife can give him a refill.</p><p>"But he needs new clothes, we can't have Dean be the only kid-"</p><p>"Enough!" John roars before getting up from the table, slamming the front door behind him. Soon enough the impala comes to life loudly in the driveway.</p><p>"It's okay mom." Dean says quietly. "Sam can lend me some clothes." His mother nods sadly with tears in her eyes. "I don't need new stuff, really."</p><p>That evening when John comes home from working at the shop, he's fully expecting dinner to be on the table and when it's not he's pissed. "Mary!" he yells. "Where are you!" his footsteps can be heard stomping around the house until he finally opens the door to his son's room. "What are you doin' in here?"</p><p>She whispers, "He had a stomach ache-" and gently pushes her sons head off of her lap onto his own pillow. "-I'll make you something to eat." she passes him by the doorway and goes to the kitchen. As they're eating at the table she tries again, "Are you sure you can't afford to buy something nice for Dean?" </p><p>John looks up at his wife, "No."</p><p>"What if you cut back on going to the bar?" she suggests.</p><p>"I said no, Mary." he huffs, "Dunno why I even come home-" he stands. "-all you do is nag me about that son of yours."</p><p>"He's our son!" she yells.</p><p>"I don't care!" John roars before slamming the door on his way out- he's going down the street to his favorite bar around the corner and he goes on foot, why waste gas.</p><p>When he makes it to the bar he enters, "Hey-" he greets the bartender. "-usual for me, thanks." and slams down a five dollar bill on the counter. His eyes scan the room, they landed right on his dealer. "Hold that beer for me will ya, gotta take a leak." he stands up, making eye contact with his dealer before going to the restroom.</p><p>As he uses the urinal, his dealer walks in. "I got the stuff, Winchester. You got my money?" he hands him the goods. "And take it easy, this stuff ain't like snorting coke alright-"</p><p>"Yea yea." John huffs, taking out a few twenty dollar bills that were supposed to go towards his son's school supplies and clothes. "This better be the good stuff." he flicks the small bag with his index finger. His eyes look up at his dealer, "What are you standin' there for?"</p><p>The dealer shakes his head before exiting the bathroom. Soon he's all alone in the bathroom but he locks the door anyway so he's not caught in the act of using drugs. Anyone that knew John Winchester would say the guy had a death wish and they didn't know why. The guy seemed to have the perfect life. Beautiful blonde wife, adorable son, a job that paid the bills and a cool car that took him from zero to sixty in no time.</p><p>Everyone thought he had it made. Sure, being a mechanic in a small town doesn't bring in the big bucks but he could've made ends meet no problem if he wasn't the town's drunk. </p><p>John did the drugs, snorted whatever he was given up his nose. It burned, he sneezed- no big deal. He exits the bathroom to enjoy his beer that had already been there waiting for him, after downing it he goes to the restroom once again and snorts the rest of whatever he was given- he didn't know anything about drugs by this point. This was his first time doing the harder stuff, coke wasn't hitting like it used to back in the day. He'd moved on to bigger and better things.</p><p>John probably shouldn't have snorted the entire contents of the bag in one night, much less in two hours time. He doesn't remember much, in the back of his mind he could hear banging on the bars restroom door and he would've gotten up to unlock the damn door if his legs weren't made of jelly in that moment.</p><p>The next thing he sees is red flashing lights and he's freezing, probably outside getting wheeled into an ambulance. They take him to the hospital in town and he's not the happiest or most compliant patient.</p><p>"Don't touch me-" he tells a nurse who tries to examine him. "-I said don't touch me!" he pushes her and she gets scared, leaving the room instantly.</p><p>Outside the room he was kept in he heard the nurses fighting over not wanting to treat him and who would be the lucky one who would have to go in and take care of him anyway. None of the nurses ever return to his room, but a doctor does. He hears muffled whispers right outside the curtain of his room until it finally rips open to reveal a dark haired young man. Definitely younger than he had been.</p><p>"Castiel Novak." the guy smiles, looking at his chart. "So I hear you're giving my nurses a hard time."</p><p>John looks down at his rough, oil stained hands. </p><p>The doctor blows right through his refusal to answer him, "Paramedics told me you were found passed out at a bar, in the bathroom. How'd you manage that?" he sits down on a stool that had been in the small ER room.</p><p>John shrugs passively, "Did some drugs I probably shouldn't have-" the look on the doctors face says it all. "-but you already knew that."</p><p>The doctor nods, "I know everything about you-" he looks through the chart once more. "-everything about your health that is. Your liver enzymes are not where they should be and your kidney function is on the decline. I suggest you cut back on the alcohol if you don't want to end up on dialysis before hitting fifty."</p><p>"Can I leave now?" John asks.</p><p>"Sure." The doctor stands, checking his vitals once more. "Since you don't have insurance, I'm not going to keep you here over night-" </p><p>"How do you know I don't have insurance?"</p><p>The doctor laughs, "Just an educated guess." he winks. "Alright Mr. Winchester, you're free to go." he removes the IV from his arm and ri[s away all the wires and whatnot that had been attached to him. "You're all set." he's about to leave the room when John asks him out for a beer. The guy was still pretty out of it.</p><p>He squints, tilting his head to the side in wonder. "You were found in a bar, passed out- and you're asking me out for a beer?" he can't hide the laugh.</p><p>John shrugs, "Could use a new friend."</p><p>The younger man sighs, "And I could use a drink, no offence." and he gives the man a post it note with his number on it. "See you soon." he says cheerfully before leaving the room. John had no idea the doctor was gay, not one bit- he just wanted a friend, someone to vent to.</p><p>The weekend came sooner that it should have and he's at the bar, sitting in a booth waiting for the guy to show up. Eventually he does and he's late, he sees John at a booth and quickly hurries over. </p><p>"Sorry I'm late-" he pants heavily, sitting down apposite from him at the booth. He was wearing a black sweater- the nice kind you'd find in a department store- and jeans. "Had to give six epidurals today. Six!" he shakes his head, calling over the waitress. "I'll have a beer and some buffalo wings, thanks." his blue eyes look over at John. "You want anything?"</p><p>John refuses because of course, this isn't a date and he doesn't have that much cash on him for food- he assumes they are two men hanging out at a bar on a Friday night. It's completely and totally platonic. They chat mindlessly for a while until their beers arrive and the doctors buffalo wings. </p><p>"You can call me Cas-" he laughs, sipping his beer. "You don't have to keep calling me doctor-"</p><p>John nods, "Right, Cas. Okay." </p><p>"Go ahead-" he pushes the basket of wings to the center of the table because John kept eyeing them. "So tell me, what do you do for a living?"</p><p>"Mechanic-" John takes a wing. </p><p>Castiel nods, "How's that going?" he laughs. </p><p>"I like the work but it doesn't make me much money." he shrugs, taking another wing. Eventually he has to ask the question, "Are you married?"</p><p>Castiel laughs, "No!" he yells over the loud noise in the bar, a group of college guys just walked in. </p><p>"Girlfriend?"</p><p>Castiel shakes his head, biting his lip. He doesn't want to answer the question.</p><p>"So what-" John asks, "-ya don't like relationships?"</p><p>"I like relationships-" he says casually, looking around the bar. "-I like sex too, just no girlfriend." John nods, thinking the guy is just single at the moment. "I like men-" Castiel admits eventually. </p><p>John swallows, wishing he wasn't licking buffalo sauce off his thick fingers right then. "Oh-" his eyes widen.</p><p>"Yeah, I'm gay." he confesses to the man who is still technically a stranger. "For a long time now actually, haven't been with a woman in-" he thinks about it, "-years."</p><p>"And you know I'm not right-" he holds up his thick hand, showing him the silver wedding band on his left ring finger. "-I'm married, been married for-" he counts the years on his fingers, "-almost twelve years now."</p><p>Castiel's eyebrows shoot up in surprise at how long he's been married, "Well-" he laughs. "-I knew you were married, caught the ring on your finger right away."</p><p>John's face is going red all over, "Then why are you here with me? You know I'm not available."</p><p>Castiel laughs about, "Relax, I thought I could use a friend too."</p><p>He visibly relaxes, "Awesome-" and laughs. "Alright then, buddy. Cheers-" he lifts up his half empty mug of beer. </p><p>"Cheers." Castiel clinks his nearly full mug of beer against John's. "It's getting kinda late, I should go-" he says after a long while and pulls out his wallet and pays for the wings and both beers. John hadn't expected that but he did like getting treated for the night. "Call me soon, we'll do something next weekend." </p><p>"You like football?" John asks, standing up so he can put on his jacket. </p><p>"Honestly, I don't but-" he shrugs, "-I'll give it a shot." </p><p>"That's the spirit." he pats his new friend on the back and walks him outside into the cold evening, to his car. "This is your car-" his mouth almost hits the floor, not only was his car new- it was fancy. </p><p>Castiel laughs, "Yeah- just got it."</p><p>"So being a doctor pays-"</p><p>Castiel shrugs, looking at his car. "Well yeah-" he laughs again. "- I can give you a ride home if you need one." John gets in the car and sighs heavily at the feel of the leather seats underneath him. "Nice right-" John nods, "-so where do you live?" he's given directions and in no time Castiel is parked on the driveway of his new friends home. "Decent place." he shrugs, "That your car?" </p><p>They look at the impala parked right up front, "Yea, she's my baby."</p><p>Castiel playfully punches John on the leg, "Call me soon." John nods and gets out of the car, giving his friend a short wave before walking up to the front door and letting himself in. He's thinking having a gay friend isn't such a big deal.</p><p>"Dad-" Dean's voice calls out to him from the sofa as soon as he'd walked into the home. "-where'd you go." From the looks of it, he had fallen asleep on the sofa while watching television.</p><p>John walks over to the sofa and lifts his boy into his arms. "Out with a friend, let's get you into bed." he carried the boy to his bedroom to tuck him in.</p><p>"Night Dad." Dean says softly, "It's cold-" he complains. "-can't you fix the heat-"</p><p>"Sorry son, I didn't make that much money this week." he goes to the boys closet and grabs another blanket to cover him up with. "Better?"</p><p>"I guess." he nods, closing his eyes. John kisses his forehead before getting in bed with his wife.</p><p>The week had gone as usual, John was too busy at work to pay attention his wife or his son Dean, nothing ever changed with John though perhaps when he was younger he had the patience to be more of a loving husband and father. John had been excited about having a new friend, the gay thing bothered him but it didn't matter since he liked Castiel regardless of his preferences. They had been complete opposites yet somehow they became friends, instantly hitting it off and Castiel had been aware that his new friend was straight, with a wife and had no desires on the guy at all.</p><p>Everything was strictly platonic, at least that's what it was supposed to be. Soon the week is over and Sunday comes along once again, they've got plans to watch the game. It wasn't Castiel's thing by any means, he'd rather be at his place curled up in bed with a good novel over a cup of coffee or hot chocolate after a long week of working. Castiel knocks on Johns front door on Sunday afternoon, he waits a while before the door is opened.</p><p>"Hey buddy." he lets the doctor through the door. "Look Mary, this is the guy I was tellin' you about." </p><p>"Hello-" Mary comes up to them, shaking Castiel's hand. "You're a doctor?" he nods. "How interesting." she miles before going back into the kitchen to make dinner.</p><p>"Nice wife-" Castiel comments, his arms are crossed at his chest and he's looking around the decent sized home. </p><p>Dean walks up to them both, he hadn't been aware of anyone coming to dinner. "Whose that-" he points at the dark haired man.</p><p>"This is your dads new friend-" he wraps an arm around the doctors shoulder. "-say hi to Castiel." Dean shakes his head. "Don't be rude, say hi."</p><p>"Hi." Dean sulks, looking down. </p><p>"Go play-" John orders and the boy runs to his room, closing the door.</p><p>"You didn't mention you have a kid-" Castiel blinks, taking a seat on the couch next to John. </p><p>"Yep-" He cracks open the beer Mary just brought them. "- that was my boy Dean. You got any kids?"</p><p>Castiel is silent for a moment before answering, "<em>No. </em>No kids."</p><p>"Lucky you." John sighs. They watch the game, Castiel could care less about it- he'd been more interested in the delicious meal Mary had prepared for them. The aroma of the food in the kitchen kept wafting over into the living room for quite a while before she called them over to the table.</p><p>"Eat your dinner." John orders his son who just picks at his mashed potatoes with his fork. "Go on, your mother slaved over the stove to make this-" he stabs the chicken on his plate with a fork.</p><p>Dean coops up the buttered mush and shovels it into his mouth painfully. When he makes eye contact with Castiel he looks down at his food in embarrassment. </p><p>Castiel smiles<em>,</em> "Cute kid." he tells John, who just shrugs. </p><p>"He is cute-" Mary looks over longingly at her boy. "-aren't you sweetheart." </p><p>"Mom-" Dean glares at her, then at their guest.</p><p>The rest of the night was uneventful, Dean was extra shy around his fathers new friend and as soon as he was excused he went to go play in his room. The three adults chatted about random topics until she decided to go off to bed, leaving John and Castiel alone. They take the conversation outside to the porch and they must have talked for another hour out there in the dark of the night.</p><p>"I better get going-" Castiel sighs, looking at his gold watch. "-I'm kinda drunk." he laughs.</p><p>"You had two beers-" John protests. "-damn lightweight."</p><p>"I know-" Castiel groans, wiping his eyes. "-never been much for drinking." they hadn't intended on it. Castiel knew his new friend wasn't gay in the slightest. He had a wife and a boy named Dean, who was super cute- just extremely shy. He hadn't thought anything would happen, but John punched his arm playfully as he made some dumb joke about him not being able to hold onto his alcohol- that's when it happened. They kissed and it wasn't romantic, it was two lips- pressing against each other for a moment.</p><p>Castiel covers his mouth like he might be sick over the porch. "Such a fuckin' baby." John pats him on the back, "If you're gonna get sick there's a trash can over there-" he points by the curb.</p><p>"I'm fine-" Castiel huffs. </p><p>"Right, you sure baby?" he teases, it makes the younger man blush. "Is the baby gonna be sick?" he punches him in the arm and Castiel defends himself, punching the man back over and over, it turns into some kind of drunk wrestling match right there on the porch.</p><p>"Alright enough-" Castiel stops punching, closing his eyes and panting. John does the same, when they make eye contact- he thinks it means something it doesn't and Castiel grabs him by the collar, pulling him in for a kiss. It's short lived, no tongues involved. When John doesn't kiss him back he pulls away, releasing him. "Sorry-I-" his apology dies off in the cold air.</p><p>John shrugs, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I'm goin' inside-" he says before leaving him on the porch. <em>Alone.</em> Castiel walks back to his car and drives home. He shouldn't have ever kissed the guy, he ends up kicking himself internally about it for hours.</p><p>The next day he's leaving the hospital after a long day when he sees the guy waiting for him. He was leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette. "Hey-" he smiles.</p><p>Castiel looks down at the mechanics worn out boots, "Why are you here?" He shrugs. "I kissed you, why would you come here-"</p><p>"Cause I like you." John smiles flirtatiously and Castiel's confused. "Look-" he comes closer to the doctor, gripping him by the lapel of his coat. "-kinda havin' a mid life crisis right now so-" he kisses Castiel's soft yet dry lips. It's weird and you can tell the guys never kissed another man before. "-we can have fun, can't we?"</p><p>Castiel squints in the evening sunlight, "Your wife-" he hesitates. "-she was really nice to me, I don't think I can do that to her." there's silence for a moment. "I don't want to hurt your son either."</p><p>"So why did you kiss me?" John leans against the car once more, taking a drag of the cigarette between his index and middle fingers. </p><p>"I don't know-" he looks around, "-I got carried away. I'm lonely-"</p><p>"You don't have to be." John exhales smoke from his mouth and nostrils at once. "There's a game this Sunday too, come if you want- you know where I live." he shrugs, walking away towards the impala on the other side of the hospital parking lot. </p><p>That Sunday he shows up, even though he thought he wasn't going to go. "Hey-" he greets John at the door and Dean scurries off to his bedroom when he hears that familiar voice of his. "-is he okay?" he wipes his feet on the welcome mat before entering, handing a dish he'd made over to Mary who gratefully took it.</p><p>"Nah-" John leads him to the couch. "-the kid's just strange, always has been. Barely ever goes outside."</p><p>Castiel nods, taking a quick glance down the hall where the boy ran to before taking a seat next to the man. This time he asks Mary for a soda instead of a beer. </p><p>"Damn lightweight-" John comments, cracking open his beer. The game was nice this time around, Castiel was learning and getting the hang of it- most of all he liked when John cheered his winning team on. It was kind of funny to be honest, which ever team was winning- he rooted for. Switching teams wasn't a big deal for the guy, how ironic.</p><p>In the middle of the game John got a call from the shop, asking him to come in for an hour just to finish up a car since the client insisted he needed the car done by the end of the day. </p><p>"I'll be back soon." He tells Castiel and goes over to give a kiss to Mary before heading out. Castiel doesn't want to stay but he couldn't leave either, it'd be rude so he sat on the couch, pretending to watch the game.</p><p>Eventually Dean comes out of his room and goes to the kitchen, "Mom!" he whines, "I'm hungry-" and opens the fridge, he clearly thought the guy had left already. "-do we have any fruit roll ups-" he asks his mother.</p><p>"You already ate them all." Mary ruffles his short hair before going to set the table.</p><p>Dean settles for a slice of bread with peanut butter, he'd made the sandwich without noticing the blue eyed man on the couch until he turns around. His eyes go wide.</p><p>"Hey-" Castiel smiles at him and Dean runs down the hall.</p><p>"Don't take it personally, he's really shy." Mary comments, "Come have a seat, dinner's ready."</p><p>Castiel stands up and goes to the table, taking a seat. "Shouldn't we wait for him?"</p><p>"We could wait all night for him to join us and he'd still find a reason to get upset-" Mary fills his plate generously and he's grateful for it, he'd been hungry.</p><p>Castiel picks up on a certain vibe, a vibe he was all too familiar with. Eventually as they eat dinner- without Dean- he notices a bruise on her wrist and his suspicions are confirmed that perhaps John Winchester was abusive towards his wife. That thought lingered in his mind for a while until John showed up, the guy smiled at them both and that thought was quickly forgotten. </p><p>John joins them at the table and everything goes well, they eat in comfortable silence with the occasional comment or joke being made. "Dean eat yet?" John asks eventually as he's finishing up his meal.</p><p>"He took a sandwich to his room." she comments softly before standing up and clearing the table.</p><p>"I better go-" Castiel stands, "-Mary, the food was great. Thank you so much." he makes the effort to shake her hand once more in appreciation. John follows him outside onto the porch, "I like your family." he says as they stand there before saying goodbye.</p><p>John nods, not really caring. "So uh-"</p><p>"We can hang out again." Castiel reassures him, hands in his pants pockets. "If me being gay doesn't bother you that is."</p><p>"What? No, it doesn't bother me." Castiel smiles weakly, their friendship already feels strange, strained even and not how it did when they first met up at the bar. The kiss changed things and he doesn't understand why, John wasn't gay. Surely a straight man would have already forgotten about the minor mishap in miscommunication.</p><p>"Really?" Castiel laughs. "Because you look like you're constipated or something-" John lunges forward and kisses him, shoving his tongue into his mouth forcefully and he moans into the larger mans mouth. His hands going up and tugging on John's hair.</p><p>The front door opens and Mary's polite voice comes through, "I packed up some left overs for you Castiel, for you to take home-" she stops dead, watching her husband and his friend sharing a kiss on her porch. </p><p>They pull away from each other, panting. Mary slams the door shut instantly.</p><p>"Crap-" John wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.</p><p>Castiel fixes his sweater, "She gonna be okay?" he asks, voice full of concern.</p><p>"Yea-" he huffs a laugh. "-she will be, just gotta fuck her a little bit." </p><p>Castiel winces at the tone, "Charming."  and he rushes down the driveway to his car without saying goodbye.</p><p>Castiel and John don't see each other for a while and Castiel is more than fine with that- although he's been extremely lonely, he does not want to break up a family so he cuts his loses and doesn't go over on Sundays anymore. He'd missed about three games in a row.</p><p>Two weeks later John ended up in the ER again. Castiel pulls back the curtain to his room, "Alcohol poisoning? Really?!" and he's angry.</p><p>John shrugs, "Kinda was hoping to die-" he licks his lips. "-Mary left me."</p><p>Castiel blinks in shock, sitting on the stool that was in the room. "Guess she didn't like what she saw-" he says, although he doesn't think that's the entire reason.</p><p>"Will you come over this Sunday? There's a game on-" Castiel rubs the back of his neck anxiously. "-please?"</p><p>Their eyes meet and he can't be bothered to reject the man. "Of course." he agrees to the invitation before standing up. "I don't want to see you back here, no one in the hospital wants to care for you because of what you did to one of the nurses. I'm an Anesthesiologist, I shouldn't be in the ER taking care of some drunk-" he spits out before pulling back the curtain to leave.</p><p>On Sunday, Castiel shows up at the Winchester house and knocks at the front door. Dean opens the front door this time, "Dads not here-" he says softly.</p><p>Castiel's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, "Heyy-" he smiles and crouches down on his knees so that they can make eye contact. "Do you know where he is?"</p><p>"Work-" he opens the door wide enough for him to walk through. "-he told me to let you in." Castiel smiles and comes inside, taking a seat on the sofa and is all too surprised when the boy joins him.</p><p>"Why don't you go play, I'll be fine right here-" he says warmly.</p><p>Dean shrugs, "I'm scared, it looked dark outside." he opens the curtain and peeks outside at the black storm clouds rolling by his neighborhood, "-don't like thunder." and he settles back on the sofa.</p><p>"I'll keep you safe." Castiel smiles, John's kid was really cute. Castiel flips through the channels until they land on Scooby Doo, that's when the boy gets happy. They're watching the cartoon for about an hour when thunder rumbles in the sky above the house and he becomes scared. "You're okay-" he reassures the boy. Another loud rumble of thunder and the boy starts getting really nervous. "Heyy-shh-" and he does something he probably shouldn't have, he pulls the boy close to his chest to holds him.</p><p>"I want my mom-" he complains.</p><p>Castiel rubs up and down his back uncomfortably, "You're okay." Eventually the boy falls asleep in his arms and he watches him sleep soundly, admiring his long thick lashes and adorable baby cheeks. He sighs, rocking the boy in his arms. That's when the front door unlocks and opens to reveal a dripping wet John Winchester. "Hey." he whispers loud enough for the man to hear.</p><p>John grabs a dish towel to dry his face off with  and comes into the living room. "Hmm." he rumbles, inspecting the scene before him.</p><p>"You wanted me to babysit didn't you." he states, John agrees. "I can't believe you used me-"</p><p>"The kid likes you-" John throws the dish towel across the room, he'd been aiming for the kitchen but it didn't make it that far.</p><p>Castiel feels his eyes well up with tears, "I'm not a nanny." the other man just called him a baby and left the room. The teen stirs in his sleep, opening his pretty green eyes. "Hey-" he blinks away his tears. "-want me to help you into bed?" Dean nods and he lifts the boy up in his arms, bridal style and takes him to his bedroom.</p><p>Once Dean is under the covers he pulls on Castiel's arm, "Stay-" he begs softly, so he sits down on the edge of the twin bed. He wants to get the hell out of there but he couldn't see no to that adorable face.</p><p>It's silent for a moment when he says, "School's starting soon, you excited?" Dean shrugs. "Come on, you have to be happy to go back and see your friends." The boy doesn't respond so he tries again, "Do you have your school supplies all ready to go? I remember when I was your age, shopping for school supplies was my favorite thing-" Dean rubs at his eyes. "What's wrong?"</p><p>"Dad didn't get me anything for school-" he blinks, pouting.</p><p>"Why not?" Castiel is full of concern, "I'm sure he knows you're starting soon-"</p><p>"He doesn't have money to buy me stuff this year-" he admits, covering his face with the blanket. Castiel's heart wants to break instantly and wishes he could help but instead he just tucks the boy in and leaves the room. He knows it's none of his business but he can't help but feel sorry for the boy.</p><p>The next few days Castiel comes around often, to hang out with John- but it's also a way to check on his son. He came around the day before school was supposed to start with a gift for the boy, he'd intended on leaving it with John but he hadn't been home yet so Dean answered the door. </p><p>"Hey-" he smiles instantly. "-your dad home?" Dean shakes his head. "That's okay." he holds up a backpack for the boy to see, "Look what I got you-" he crouches down and unzips it, showing the boy that it was filled with school supplies. "Got you some crayons, paper, pencils-" he looks through everything, showing the boy. "-you'll be set for school tomorrow." Dean starts crying when the backpack is placed in his arms.</p><p>"Shh, it's okay." Castiel leads the boy inside, he knows this isn't his home and he shouldn't be walking in without permission but it's not safe for an eleven year old boy to be on his own. "Have you eaten yet?" he asks him and he opens the fridge to look inside. Nothing but bread and peanut butter. </p><p>"Not yet-" Dean wipes his tears on the back of his hand, still hugging the backpack against his chest for dear life. </p><p>"That's alright-" Castiel sighs, taking out his cellphone. "I'll order a pizza." They wait for the pizza on the front porch, enjoying the last rays of sunlight. He looks over to analyze the boy. He was wearing an over sized brown shirt, most likely his fathers and underwear he hopes too but the shirt reached his knees so he couldn't tell. "How does your dad treat you?" he has to ask. </p><p>"Okay I guess-" the boy shrugs, pulling the shirt way over his knees to his ankles as if to cover himself up completely and he really just looks like a brown blob. It makes Castiel laugh and he looks up at him in wonder. "Why are you laughing?"</p><p>"Nothing-" a vehicle pulls up, "That's our pizza, wait here." he gets up and goes over the delivery man and pays him. Soon he's walking up to the house again, "Let's eat, you must be starving." one hand is carrying the pizza, the other is guiding the boy through the door. "Have a seat, I'll serve you." Castiel works his way around the kitchen, looking for plates and something to drink and the boy climbs up onto one of the chairs at the table.</p><p>Once again he looks inside the fridge, nothing but beer and soda. <em>Great. </em>Nothing kid friendly like juice or milk. "Soda alright?" Dean nods, getting up to grab his favorite cup from the sink. "Wait!" Castiel yells, "Let me wash that-" he steals the cup and quickly rinses it out with water and dish soap, the cup had been soaking in dirty dishes for who knows how long. "Here you go-" he hands it over finally, filled with soda. </p><p>The door slams shut as soon as they sit down to eat, John was surprised to see him there. "The hell you doin' here-" he goes over to the fridge and grabs a beer before sitting down at the table. He grabs a slice of pizza from the open box. </p><p>"Help yourself." Castiel says coldly, "I came to see you-" he lies, not mentioning he came to actually bring the boy stuff for school the next day. John ignores him and eats in silence, so does Dean. All he can think about is why doesn't the boy seem happy when his father comes home or why doesn't he run up to his dad for a hug when he comes through the door. He asks, "So Dean, got your school clothes ready for your first day?" he had to ask. It's none of his business but the few times he's seen the boy he's seen him wearing shirts that are way too big, most likely all belonging to his father.</p><p>Dean shrugs, not wanting to upset his father. "John? you get him clothes for school yet?" he looks over at him, sitting across the table. John shrugs and he looks over at the boy now, "Don't worry buddy-" he says softly before placing another slice of pizza on his plate. Eventually Castiel and John begin to talk again through out their meal and hadn't noticed when the boy left to go play in his room. Castiel wipes his mouth on a napkin before standing. "I should go, I have work in the morning."</p><p>"Sure." John gets up too and walks him to the door, opening it. Castiel's about to exit when he says, "What, you not gonna kiss me goodbye?" and gives him that all too handsome smile that no one can resist. </p><p>Castiel licks his lips before they press their dry lips together for a brief moment. Dean caught them kissing from down the hall on his way to the bathroom. </p><p>"See ya later-" John rasps, wiping his mouth on his hand. Castiel says nothing and leaves the Winchester home, confused. They agreed to just be friends, why was he asking for a kiss when he wasn't gay or interested in men like that to begin with.</p><p>The next day is Monday morning, Dean's first day of school and Castiel is parked down the street at the bus stop waiting for the boy. When he sees him running up the street to the stop sign he quickly gets out of the car and joins him. "Dean!" he calls out.</p><p>Dean looks over at him and gets scared. </p><p>"Look-" Castiel breathes heavily, handing him a shopping bag. "-I got you these." he smiles. "I'm sorry but I can't let you go to school wearing stuff from your dads closet." he laughs nervously. The boy takes the bag without saying anything and his bus quickly pulls up. "Bye-" he waves at the boy who nods and climbs up the bus steps and disappears. </p><p>Castiel goes to work and all day he can't stop thinking about the boy. After work he makes the long drive to see John, although that's just an excuse and when he arrives he comes to notice the impala isn't parked in the drive way.</p><p>He looks at his watch, it's after five. "Damn it-" he slams his car door and runs up to the house, knocking on the front door. Soon enough the boy comes to the door and opens it just a little, enough to peek through it. "Hey-" he whispers loudly. "-your dad home?" he asks the question, knowing full well he isn't there. </p><p>"No-" Dean says quietly. "-he's at work I think."</p><p>"Have you eaten anything yet?" Dean shakes his head, "I thought that might be the case-" he says, holding up a plastic grocery bag with supplies. "If you want, I can come in and make you a sandwich, got everything right here." Dean opens the door wide enough to let the man through and he follows the boy to the kitchen, "John always comes home late, is that right?"</p><p>"Yea." Dean sits at the table, watching the man put ham and cheese on white bread. "Can I have those-" he speaks up, his eyes glued to a bag of potato chips he'd brought as well. Castiel pulls it open and brings it right over to him and he smiles. "We never have chips in the house-" he mumbles, crunching away happily.</p><p>"Hmm-" Castiel hums and brings over the sandwiches. "Eat up-" he says and takes a seat, joining the boy in his meal. "So-" he begins, "How did your first day of school go?"</p><p>Dean smiles, wiping the chip dust on his fathers shirt that he was still wearing. "Awesome, I'm in the same class as my best friend Sam. I know him since kindergarden-"</p><p>"Hey that's great-" they eat in silence for a while. "-did you like the clothes I got you? I took a wild guess on your sizes."</p><p>Dean nods, "Yea, I like them." Castiel nods. "Why did you buy me clothes?"</p><p>"Because I knew John didn't-" he shrugs slightly, "-I felt bad."</p><p>"Oh-" Dean looks down at his nearly finished sandwich before he picks it up and starts eating again. Castiel finishes first so he just watches the boy, with a smile on his face. "What-" he eventually asks.</p><p>"You're cute." Castiel laughs, "I don't know why John doesn't spend more time with you-" </p><p>"Can I have some more soda-" the boy asks mindlessly, reaching for the bag of chips at the center of the table. Castiel gets up and refills his Batman cup- the cup that would eventually end up being in the shower for Castiel to use to rinse out the boys hair in a few short years. "I like soda-" he comments, chugging it.</p><p>"I can tell-" Castiel smiles, "-it's not good for you though." Dean looks at him curiously. "All that sugar rots your teeth and makes them fall out-"</p><p>"Does not!" Dean yells. </p><p>"Maybe not right away, but when you're old-" </p><p>"Oh-" Dean still chugs the soda and wipes his mouth off with the back of his hand when he's done. "Can you call dad to come home-"</p><p>"Sure." Castiel pulls out his cellphone and pretends to dial the kids father, he doesn't want the guy showing up anyways and they're having a far better time without him. "He didn't answer-" he shoves his phone in his scrubs pocket. "Why don't you show me what you did at school today-"</p><p>"I guess." the boy gets up and goes to his room to grab the backpack Castiel had gotten him. "This is what we did-" after taking a seat on the sofa he unzips it and pulls out a large binder, he starts flipping through the sheets in there.</p><p>"On your first day you got all that done-" the boy nods, "-hmm. Guess they really work kids to the bone these days."</p><p>"Yea!" Dean laughs, "I wrote so much today my hand hurts-" he holds up his slightly chubby hand for Castiel to see, it makes him laugh. "But we did some coloring." he pulls out a math work sheet with shapes on it. "Look." he gives it to the older man.</p><p>"Wow, good job." he looks through the math problems. "You got these all right." Dean shrugs, they had been fairly easy problems. "What's your favorite subject?"</p><p>"Ummm." Dean thinks about it as he looks through his school items. "Science-" and pulls out his science book. "I like the water cycle-" that makes the older man laugh. "-helps me not be so scared of storms."</p><p>Castiel nods, "You're pretty smart." he comments. "Not many eleven years old would show much interest in the water cycle." the comment makes the boy blush and he noticed it because his ears were red. "You just started middle school, sixth grade right?" the boy nods. "Any electives?"</p><p>"I'm in choir but-" he hesitates. "-I'm going to switch to art, Sam's in art."</p><p>Castiel is helping the boy with his math homework when he suddenly asks, "You're a cute kid, make any girlfriends yet?" he smiles when he sees how flustered the boy gets. </p><p>"No-" he states seriously, scribbling away into his workbook. "-I don't like girls."</p><p>"You will eventually." Castiel assures him. "Are your teachers nice?" that's when the boy sniffles. "What's wrong?"</p><p>"I don't feel like going to school tomorrow." he says sadly, looking up into blue eyes. "There's a lot of big kids at my new school-"</p><p>"Right." Castiel nods, now that he looks at him- he is pretty small. "Well-" he smiles, patting his shoulder. "-if you ever get bullied just let me know." he makes the joke fully knowing that he might not even be around much longer.</p><p>Dean laughs, "Sam is big, he can protect me." he looks up at Castiel with his bright green eyes. "He's so tall!"</p><p>Castiel laughs, "I bet-" he grabs the boys workbook and looks over his answers before he leaves. "-looks good. Anyways, tell Sam your new friend says hi." and he gets up, walking towards the door and the boy trails behind him.</p><p>"You're my friend?" Dean asks.</p><p>Castiel smiles, "Sure." he opens the door and sees John walking up. </p><p>"Hey-" he grins handsomely. "-tell me you're stayin' for a beer?" the fact that he didn't ask why he was inside the home with his young boy didn't arise any suspicions, not that he was doing anything to the guys kid but it shows how little he cares.</p><p>"One beer." Castiel nods and goes to the couch. Dean takes his stuff and goes to his bedroom. <em>Poor kid.. </em>he thinks, taking the beer from John. One beer turned into two, and two turned into three, and three turned into eight. It's the most Castiel has ever drank in his entire life and he's not happy about the hangover that is sure to show up in the morning. "Should go-" he tries to stand but falls back onto the couch.</p><p>"Go ahead and crash here-" John suggests, clearly more lucid since he was an expect at drinking. Castiel sighs, his eyes half closed when the other man notices the bulge in his pants. "Don't bring any of that gay shit round' here-"</p><p>Castiel looks down at his pants, "Sorry-" he sighs. "-you're not my type anyway."</p><p>"Like hell I'm not-" he defends himself, he's everyone's type. Not a woman in town that doesn't get weak in the knees when he walks by. "-fuck you." he roars before leaning over and kissing his doctor friend. "Wait-" he pulls away briefly. "-how old are you anyway?"</p><p>Castiel's breath stutters, "Thirty two-" </p><p>"Old enough-" John himself was in his mid Forties and didn't want to accidentally hook up with someone too young. His foot knocks over something that had been on the old coffee table and it scares Dean. Eventually the boy comes to peek around the corner of the hallway and his eyes grow wide when he sees them going at it like bunnies. They weren't naked but you'd think they were having sex anyway, they were humping each other like hungry animals- clawing at each other and grunting.</p><p>Dean knows he shouldn't look but he can't tear his eyes away, his eyes are mostly fixed on dad's friend. His dad was groping the guy angrily and kissing his neck roughly. Castiel opens his eyes and his too, grow wide when he sees the boy watching them. The boy quickly runs to his room and closes the door carefully behind him.</p><p><em>Damn it.. </em>When he comes in his pants the other man pulls away from him victoriously. </p><p>Castiel swallows, catching his breath. "What was that-" he says finally. John shrugs, pulling out a cigarette from the nearly empty carton that was stashed away in his pants pocket. "I don't think I can drive-" he admits. </p><p>"Like I said, crash here." he gets up and goes to his bedroom, the one he used to share with his wife and Castiel just lays there on the sofa, confused.</p><p>He hadn't wanted to stay but he falls asleep regardless with come on the inside of his boxers. When he wakes up in the morning his body feels uncomfortable and gross, especially down south. "Damn it-" he slowly gets up, and yes his head is pounding and he feels like shit. "Oh, hey." he says to the boy who was watching him from the kitchen table, eating his cereal. "You're going to school right-" the boy nods. "Where's your dad?"</p><p>Dean looks down at his cereal as he eats, "He left-"</p><p>Castiel nods, "If you hurry up I can take you to school-" he's already forgotten that in his drunk haze, the boy had seen him get mauled by his father the night before. Dean climbs into his car and makes comments about how nice it is and how it's more comfortable than his dads car.</p><p>"So this is where you go to school hmm-" he looks around at the school building and there was in fact, big kids everywhere. Dean gets out of the car and runs up to a taller boy who had been waiting for him, he's guessing that was Sam.</p><p>Dean looks back at him with a smile on his face and Castiel waves at the boy from behind the wheel of his car.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Meet The Teacher Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What's going on here?" Castiel smiles, walking up the driveway as casually as possible. John had his head buried under the hood of his old impala. "She break down on you?"</p><p>John nods, "Yea, son of a bitch won't start." he grunts as he works over the car, "Dean's got this thing at his school tonight-"</p><p>Castiel laughs, crossing his arms. "You mean meet the teacher night?"</p><p>"Yea-" he nods, "-that thing."</p><p>"If you want, I can give you a ride." John agrees and Castiel sticks around, helping the mechanic out with his car until it's time for Dean's school <em>thing.</em></p><p>John feels strange being there among all the couples, meanwhile he's there supporting his son with the gay friend he still didn't know all that much about.</p><p>Mary always came to meet the teacher night with him, though he's not surprised at all that she left him behind her rear view mirror. He was a bad temper, irresponsible with money and careless about pretty much everything. Maybe that's why he didn't put up a fight when she packed her things and left. His only wish is that she should have taken her son with her.</p><p>Dean's showing his father his art project and he could care less about it so Castiel shoves him aside so he can admire the project like it deserved. "Wow that's nice-" he says fondly, though he doesn't know what the hell the boy is showing him. It's the support that counts anyway. "Really cool, Dean." </p><p>The boy grows shy when his father glares at him and he puts his art project away with the rest. </p><p>"John Winchester?" one of his teachers comes up to both men and begins to gush about how smart the mans son is. "-he shows real promise, the boy really loves his Science."</p><p>"My kid?"John looks over at Dean, who was joking around with the other boys, including Sam. </p><p>"Yes." She smiles, "He's really taken to learning all about the water cycle-" she laughs, "-he's doing a project on it." </p><p>John nods, not caring about this project either. Castiel is the one who takes more of an interest and asks the teacher all kinds of questions regarding Dean and his education. They stayed long enough to enjoy the free punch and snacks that were left out for the parents to take. Castiel had one cookie and John had about five of them, Dean was too shy to grab one. </p><p>Soon enough they're walking out of the school and it's still pretty early in the evening while they head towards Castiels car in the parking lot.</p><p>"Can we get Mcdonald's?" Dean asks softly, knowing his father will say no anyway.</p><p>"Sure-" he smiles at the boy, "-you don't mind if I get him a happy meal do you?" the boys father shrugs carelessly, helping his son into the backseat of the vehicle.</p><p>As Castiel drives he looks into the rear view mirror and sees that green eyes are watching him so he smiles. Dean smiles back before looking away, he was extremely content with the warm happy meal box that sat on his lap. Eventually he started munching on the fries after losing a bit of his shyness. When he drops them both off at their home he feels a pang of sadness as he watches John's son walk up the drive way to let himself inside the home.</p><p>"Dean's a good kid." he says casually.</p><p>"Yea-" he rolls his eyes. "-you don't see all the tantrums the kid throws behind closed doors.</p><p>Castiel just smiles because he doesn't know what to say. "I better go-" and those words are Johns cue to get the hell out of his car, now. But the man leans in close enough to kiss him. The kiss wasn't sweet or gentle, it actually made him want to die right then and there. He exhales heavily and the man exits his car. Castiel stays behind long enough to watch the guy walk through the front door.</p><p>The next day Castiel is working when he gets called to the first floor of the hospital, he's expecting some kind of emergency but what waits for him instead shocks him completely.</p><p>"What are you guys doing here-" he rushes over to them, instantly crouching down on his knees to examine the boy. "-is he okay?" he looks up at the boys father.</p><p>John was standing there with his arms crossed at his chest. "He really wanted to come see ya-" he doesn't buy it for a second. "-alright, we need to talk." Castiel guides the man a few yards away from the boy, still keeping an eye on him since someone had to. "Listen, Dean is driving me insane. I can't-"</p><p>Castiel sighs, "You want me to babysit him?" John nods. "Are you fucking kidding me- he's your son!" he yells, Dean hears it. The look on his face has him quickly agreeing to babysit the kid. "Fine, I'm almost done here anyway." He looks over at the boy who looks like he's just about to burst into tears, waving him over. John leaves without saying goodbye to either of them and he mentally kicks himself for getting involved in this situation, sure Dean is a good kid and he likes him a lot but he's not a nanny.</p><p>"Sorry." Dean looks down at his sneakers. "He has a date-"</p><p>Castiel swallows down the instant jealously. He's got no idea why he's jealous, they aren't together. "I'm almost done for the day-" he guides Dean to one of the empty ER rooms, "Wait here for me." Dean nods, pulling out a few toys out from his backpack so he can play while he waits. The scene before him tugs at his heart strings so he risks it all. "You know what, I'm leaving early just give me a moment-" he leaves and makes up some fake story about a family emergency just so he can head out early.</p><p>After about ten minutes Castiel pulls the curtain to the room open, "Okay, we can go now-" Dean shoves his things into his backpack and trails behind the doctor. The whole time he's looking up at the back of his head. "You hungry?" he asks the boy, knowing full well he is. "Great how about-"</p><p>"I like Mcdonald's-" Dean says shyly and Castiel agrees to make the stop, guiding him to his car in the parking lot. After picking up some food they wind up at Castiel's apartment, instead of the Winchester home. "Everything's so nice-" he wanders around the place aimlessly.</p><p>Castiel smiles, "I'll give you the tour later, I'm starving." </p><p>Dean hops up onto one of the kitchen stools since the guy didn't have a kitchen table, just a breakfast bar. "You don't have a table-" he comments, looking around the large apartment, while munching on a nugget.</p><p>"I don't get much company anyway." Castiel responds, biting into his burger. "My life is pretty lonely."</p><p>Dean nods, reaching for the large fries they were sharing. Castiel was sitting on a stool right next to him. "I like it here."</p><p>"You can come over whenever you want-" and he wishes he didn't say that because he doesn't know if he's going to be around long enough, his father isn't gay and he's shady at best. "Here-" Castiel pushes over the rest of the fries, "-finish these off and I'll be right back, I need a shower." Dean nods, pouring the rest of the fries next to his nuggets.</p><p>Eventually Castiel comes out of the bathroom, wearing sweatpants and not much else and Dean sees him. "Finish everything?" he looks over at where the food used to be. "Good job."</p><p>Dean blushes, "Can I use the bathroom?" Castiel points to where it was. When he exits the bathroom he finds Castiel in his room, the door was open and in his curiosity winds up peeking through the door, watching the man move around. "Castiel-" he says the name for the first time.</p><p>Castiel looks up at him, he was scrolling through his phone. "You can call me Cas-" he guides the boy to the couch.</p><p>"Does dad know I'm here?"</p><p>"No, I'll drop you home later." he senses the boys nervous energy. "Unless you want me to take you home now? I doubt he's there yet-"</p><p>Dean shakes his head, "He's with a girl." Castiel shakes his head and sits down next to the young boy. "There's nothing to do here." he admits, which makes him laugh.</p><p>"Yeah-" Castiel hugs himself, "-I don't have any toys laying around that we can play with." he does have toys, but he can't really let the boy play with them. "I know it's not very kid friendly here." </p><p>"Can I see your room?" Dean asks softly. Castiel hesitates for a minute before agreeing. "You have a big room." Dean comments, looking around. When the boy climbs onto his bed he becomes nervous. "My bed is so small-" he comments, relaxing on it. "-your room is bigger than mine."</p><p>Castiel tears his eyes away from the boy making himself comfortable on his bed, this is weird and it makes his insides feel funny, he doesn't know why that is. "Why don't we go back to your house, I'm sure we can find something to do there." </p><p>Dean sits up, "Why did you bring me here?" he asks, hands on his lap.</p><p>Castiel had no idea why, he's not a creep at all and convinces himself that he really just needed a shower after a long day of work. "Needed a shower, working at the hospital is pretty gross-" Dean scrunches up his nose, making him laugh. "Come on, let me get dressed and I'll tale you home." </p><p>Castiel lazily kicks his bedroom door shut while Dean waits for him on the couch or so he thinks, the boy peeks through the half inch opening and watches him push down his sweats to reveal his naked body. Castiel pulls on a pair of black briefs and fresh jeans. Dean can't look away, he's never seen another naked person before. Only Sam, during bath time when they were little but that doesn't count, Sam is like his brother. When Castiel is pulling on a shirt over his head he quickly goes to grab the backpack he dropped by the front door so he can pretend he had been waiting there all along.</p><p>Dean doesn't know why he's curious about this man, he doesn't even understand urges or desires yet and he's never touched himself before in his entire life. His best friend teased him for being a little too innocent. </p><p>"Ready to go-" Castiel flashes him his pearly whites and he nods dumbly. Back at Dean's house, he's very awkward and shy- more than usual. "Is something wrong?"</p><p>Dean looks at him in the eyes, "I saw you changing in your room-" he gulps. "-I'm sorry." and sits down on the floor, by the coffee table so he can do his homework.</p><p>Castiel swallows, "Uh- that's fine, I'm not mad." Dean looks at him again, guilt in his eyes. "You're just curious, but your dad should probably talk to you about these things though-" he shrugs. "-It's not really my place."</p><p>Dean nods. "Okay." </p><p>Castiel paces around the home, glancing over at the boy who was sitting on the floor in the living room. It had been hours and not a single phone call from the boys father to let him know when he was going to come home. Until a car door slams in the drive way he feels relief that he will be able to go home to his own bed.</p><p>He quickly rushes to open the front door, as soon as his eyes land on that smug grin of his, he gets angry instantly. "How dare you-" he shoves John roughly. "-leaving me with your son all night long!"</p><p>Dean covers his ears because he knows things are about to get ugly. His father can yell way louder than Castiel ever could and he was right, soon John starts yelling- fighting with him. It's not just fighting, he's insulting Castiel and making the nastiest comments he could come up with on short notice.</p><p>"Fuck you." Castiel spits out, "Don't ever come looking for me again."</p><p>John shrugs, "Sure- don't want your gay to rub off on me." Dean hears the word and doesn't know what it is just yet. He turns over to look at his son, "Dean, come say bye to Cas. Cause you're never gonna see em' again." The boy quickly comes to the door, his green eyes looking up at his fathers friend in confusion. </p><p>"Sorry-" Castiel says quietly, mostly to the boy. He walks down the drive way and disappears into his car while John goes to the kitchen to look for something to eat. Dean stays by the open door- watching the car drive away. He didn't know Castiel at all, not really since he'd only been around a few short weeks but he didn't exactly want him to go away forever. </p><p>That night Dean's asleep in bed when John comes into his room, slightly buzzed. "Hey-" his father slurs, and he knows exactly what this means. He huts his eyes as tightly as he can. </p><p>"Please don't-" Dean begs softly, knowing it won't make a difference when his father crawls into bed with him. "-I don't like it." Rough lips and hands are all over him and he bites really hard on his bottom lip. He didn't like the way his father touched his body under the covers, it was mostly kissing and rubbing but it still hurt. </p><p>John and Castiel don't speak for about a week, at least not until Castiel walks into the same bar where they first met up outside of the hospital for beers. John was there because it was his usual hang out spot and Castiel showed up because he was hoping to find someone to hook up with. Anyone other than John Winchester. </p><p>As soon as he walked in, Castiel noticed the guy. John Winchester was a hard face to ignore, you hate his guts but you end up sticking around cause he's got those handsome good looks and can sweet talk your panties or boxers right off. "Just sit over here-" he calls out into the silent bar. It was dead tonight, probably because it was a weekday. Tuesday to be exact.</p><p>Castiel brings his beer over to where John had been sitting. "So, who was that girl you went out with-" he asks the question casually.</p><p>John spits up his beer into the mug, laughing. "I just fucked her, dunno who she is."</p><p>"Dean must be real proud to call you his father-" John slams his hand loudly onto the table. Castiel hadn't expected that reaction, it did scare him a little.</p><p>John laughs, even though you could tell the comment had upset him. They try to make conversation but Castiel doesn't feel comfortable so he tries to call it a night after about an hour, "I better go, need to get some sleep before work tomorrow." </p><p>"You here lookin' to hook up aren't you?" John asks, standing up and putting on his jacket just like the doctor was doing. </p><p>"Yeah-" he says somberly, both men exiting the place at the same time. "What are you-" suddenly he's being pulled towards the back of the bar and slammed against the cold building. It's freezing and Castiel hugs himself, his jacket was doing nothing to keep him warm. </p><p>"I'm sorry-" John speaks softly against the doctors lips, "-forgive me?" Castiel shakes his head, he's nervous because he doesn't know what's going to happen. He's thinking that John night mug him or beat the shit out of him and It wouldn't be too much of a stretch, he doesn't know the guy, not really. </p><p>"I don't forgive you." Castiel says, shivering. </p><p>"You will." John plants a soft kiss against his lips, kissing him just like he used to kiss Mary many years ago, when they first got together. He set aside his homophobia for the moment, kissing his friend like he loves it just as much. "Did you like that baby?" </p><p>Castiel breathes in harshly, nodding, licking his lips in anticipation for the next kiss but it doesn't come. Instead, John gets down on his knees.</p><p>"What-" large hands are fumbling with his belt and zipper. "You don't have to- Ugh-" he moans, his cock was now inside of a warm mouth. For a straight man who claimed to never have been with another dude, he was doing a pretty good at sucking dick or maybe it was the fact that it had been almost a year since Castiel has had any action at all. "I'm gonna come-" he warns, pushing his head away. </p><p>"Fuckin' princess." John pants, his breath visible in the cold evening air. Castiel comes on the ground, instantly humiliated. He zips him back up into his pants. "Don't worry, the rain will get rid of that." he laughs. </p><p>Castiel swallows, hand on his lower abdomen. It had been quite a while too since he's jacked off - he kept forgetting to take care of himself that way, work was hectic.</p><p>He's got no idea what just happened or why but now he doesn't hate John Winchester so much. If only he had known that the man was a master manipulator who would go to drastic lengths to get what he wants. </p><p>Later on that week on Friday night, John called Castiel to come over for dinner. Though he's assuming he just needed a babysitter for the night so he could fuck another woman. When he parks his car next to the impala he has completely convinced himself that it was his entire motive for having him around, using him as a nanny for his boy.</p><p>When John lets him into the home he's surprised to find out that Dean wasn't there- he'd been dropped of at a friends house, Sam's to be exact.</p><p>"What's all this-" Castiel says cautiously looking at a single lit candle at the center of the kitchen table. John actually pulls out his chair so he could sit. "Seriously what's all this-" </p><p>John shrugs, "I have a question for you." Boy he's a damn good actor because Castiel is none the wiser of the long running game he's about to pull. "Cas, I know you don't know me very well-" he reaches for the cheap bottle of wine and fills both of their glasses. "-I'm not perfect." they make eye contact. <em>Dark brown &amp; Blue. </em>"I'm an alcoholic, I know-" Castiel nods, sipping his wine. "-I do drugs occasionally and I don't have much to offer you-" John looks down at his hands, still acting. </p><p>"What?" Castiel urges.</p><p>"Will you be my boyfriend?" he asks softly.</p><p>Castiel laughs into his hand, "Sorry-" John bites his tongue painfully, if he had no self control at all he would have slammed the doctors head against the table. "You're not gay."</p><p>"You don't know that." he defends himself and he stands up so he can serve his guest the poorly made dinner he had prepared. Instant mashed potatoes and steak.</p><p>Castiel relaxes in his chair, "Yeah, I do know that." and quickly digs into the potatoes, leaving the steak untouched. He couldn't risk eating raw meat before going to work in the morning. "I'm completely fine with just being friends-"</p><p>John sits down again, "Can't you gimme a chance?" he begs his friend with hopeful eyes before reaching over the table to hold Castiel's hand. "I'll be good to you."</p><p>Castiel is so lonely, so touch starved that he's agreeing to it. Whatever this is, he's agreeing to it. "We can try-"</p><p>"You won't regret it." He stabs the steak in front of him with his fork, "Go on, eat- spent almost two hours on dinner." Castiel doesn't believe that, the potatoes are from a box and he recognized the taste since he ate them all the time himself. As for the steak, it was barely cooked at all- the inside was still pink and frozen.</p><p>After dinner, they take their glasses of wine to the sofa. John knew how to make the guy melt in his hands, in no time he's got him groaning in pleasure.</p><p>He'd always been good with the ladies, and now he's laying out all his tricks on a homosexual man which surprisingly turned out to be easier. He knew what men liked and how they liked it done since he was a dude himself. "You like that?" John whispers in his ear, his large hand pressing down firmly on Castiel's crotch.</p><p>"Yeah-" he moans, "-don't stop." </p><p>"Don't plan to, sweetheart." the nickname name makes him melt completely underneath the older man. Things get so hot and heavy that it has him begging to get fucked. "Not ready for that quite yet-" he stops what he was doing.</p><p>"I understand-" Castiel whispers, they had been fooling around on the sofa for a while with the lights off. "-maybe next time. Do you want me to blow instead-"</p><p>"Nah-" John gulps, he wasn't ready for that either. "-next time." Castiel's clearly disappointed, he's thinking that nothing more is going to happen between them tonight. "-it's all about you right now, just let me make you feel good." he's confused, until his cock is being pulled out his pants. </p><p>"Ugh-" Castiel moans, biting his lip. The feel of a strong hand wrapped around his cock felt amazing, especially the hand of a mechanic- his hand was large and rough around the edges. "I'm gonna come-" he says the words in a hurry before his hips buckle upwards. John loved that Castiel could come this quickly, meaning he didn't have to spent a whole lot of time doing something he didn't really like. </p><p>"How was that sweetheart?" he asks, and it sounds almost forced. Basically because it was. John gets up to go wash his hands in the kitchen almost instantly. </p><p>"Fine-" he sighs loudly as he stuffs himself back into his pants. Dean barged through the front door after getting dropped off unexpectedly by his friends mother and as soon as he saw Castiel, his mouth forms a perfect <em>O.</em></p><p>"You!" he blinks in wonder, not believing the guy was really there. "You're back?"</p><p>"Hello, Dean." he smiles, giving the boy a small wave before meeting John's eyes in the kitchen, who nods. "Yeah, guess I am."</p><p>John puts on his best happy face and pats his son on the head, "Let's get you into bed." he guides his son to his room down the hall, leaving Castiel alone on the sofa for now. "Come on-" he orders the boy who cautiously climbs into his bed, under the covers and he begs his father once more.</p><p>"I don't want it-" Dean closes his eyes, thinking he's joining him under the covers but his father tucks him in instead. "Be a good soldier, alright? like I was." the boy nods before he winks and leaves the room to join his guest.</p><p>"On second thought-" he stands in front of Castiel, towering over the younger man and admires his young face. <em>This could work. </em>"-you mind blowing me?'</p><p>Castiel smiles beautifully for him, following the older man to his bedroom that was right across from Dean's and the door shuts behind them. John takes out his cock, stroking himself as he shoves the younger man down onto his knees. They both look at the cock in his hand, "You like it?" </p><p>Castiel bites back a moan, nodding. "Be a good boy and suck this dick-" and he does, he swallows him down almost completely without gagging. "-Fuck, even Mary couldn't it take it like that." he looks down through half closed eyes.</p><p>"Mmmm-" Castiel hums around the girth in his mouth.</p><p>"That's enough, gonna come-" John pulls on Castiel's dark hair, spurting ropes of thick come all over his face. "-you're good at this." he comments, nostrils contracting as he breathes heavily.</p><p>Castiel keeps his eyes closed until John hands him a shirt to wipe his face clean with. "Years of practice." he laughs and stands up. </p><p>"So, we're together?" he asks while he changes into sweatpants and no shirt. </p><p>Castiel checks him out as he does so, "Sure, we're together." he presses a kiss to Johns lips and didn't mind the stubble one bit. "I like this-" he rubs the older mans hairy chest. "-my last boyfriend waxed."</p><p>"Well-" John beams, "-you got yourself a real man now, sweetheart." Castiel bites his lip, loving the sound of that deep voice in his ear. "You better get goin' before I tear this ass up-" he lightly pats the doctors bottom.</p><p>Castiel laughs, "If only." </p><p>John forces a smile. "Come over soon? I like ya around." Castiel nods before showing himself out the door.</p><p>They don't see each other until the following weekend, mostly because work didn't allowed it.</p><p>The hospital had been packed with children who had broken their arms or had some kind of stomach ache due to consuming way too many Hot Cheetos. It was like an epidemic. He must have given the same lecture to about ten kids all in one afternoon, practically begging every single one of them to stay away from the spicy chip unless they wanted to keep having gallbladder attacks in the middle of the night.</p><p>"Bye Honey." he kisses one of his fellow nurses, Meg, on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow." and off he goes, exiting the double doors of the hospital for what he hopes is an eventful evening with his new boyfriend. </p><p>When he arrives at the Winchester house the front door quickly opens for him, "There you are-" John smiles down at him and Castiel leans into him, wrapping his arms around the mans body in a tight embrace. John gets flustered instantly, he wasn't used to being affectionate with another man. He's just happy Castiel is very attractive and easy on the eyes.</p><p>"You smell good-" Castiel comments, following the taller man inside. He wasn't in love with him quite yet but he was entirely smitten, mostly with his good looks. "Where's Dean?" he asks, his eyes looking around for any signs of him.</p><p>"At a friends house-" John goes to the kitchen and he follows.</p><p>"I was sort of hoping to see him." he admits, though he doesn't know why he is anxious to see the boy again. </p><p>"I don't want him around here when I'm giving it to ya-" John steps in close to him, giving his neck a gentle kiss that has the young doctors knees going weak. "-you might be a screamer."</p><p>Castiel swallows, "I thought you weren't ready for that." he sits down at the table. John shrugs, serving him some pasta that he was pretty sure came from a tv dinner that was just placed onto a plate to make it look like he made the effort. "So, how was work?" he asks him, digging into the pasta- he trusted it a lot more than the steak from the last time he was invited to dinner.</p><p>"Not very good, the pay isn't great." John says honestly, shoveling pasta in his mouth. </p><p>Castiel laughs, reaching over the table to wipe off sauce from the mans mouth. "Could you be messier-"</p><p>John shrugs, he's starting to realize that having Castiel as his boyfriend isn't so bad. It's like having a best friend who you can tell your secrets to and fool around with. He liked it all except that last part, though he'd have to stomach it if he wanted to keep him around. "Mind if I have a little whiskey?" he asks the blue eyed doctor. "Kinda nervous."</p><p>"Not at all." he wipes his mouth on a napkin, the pasta had been good so it was devoured in no time. "Got anything for desert?" he stands up, clearly feeling comfortable in the home and looks inside the fridge, then the freezer. "There's ice cream in here-"</p><p>"Help yourself-" Johns hand trembles as he pours himself four fingers worth of whiskey. By the time his glass is empty, he's feeling more relaxed and frisky, Castiel is starting to look awfully pretty in his eyes as well. "How about we go to my room-" he suggests.</p><p>Castiel dumps the nearly empty ice cream carton into the garbage before following the older man to his bedroom for the second time.</p><p>"John-" Castiel breathes audibly, the man was towering over him. His large hands were now grabbing his ass. "Ugh-" he moans, his forehead coming to rest on the mechanics chest. "-I like you a lot-" he confesses, though it's more about his good looks than anything else. Though now, since his attitude has changed into something sweeter, he might be developing some feelings.</p><p>"You're sorta pretty-" John admits, his large hand carding through Castiel's dark hair before he pulls on it. "-do you might if I get a little rough?"</p><p>"Not at all-" Castiel's sighs.</p><p>John shoves him on the bed, pulling off his clothes first before working on undressing himself. He didn't particularly like that Castiel was almost as hairy as he was but at least his body was slightly smaller than his own. </p><p>Castiel's panting, propped up on his elbows as he watches the man undress. His eyes scanning every inch of his strong body. "Fuck-" he sighs heavily. "-you're sexy."</p><p>"Thanks sweetheart-" he murmurs before he rolls Castiel onto his stomach. "-this alright?" he nods in compliance. "-do I just go for it?" he asks unsure of himself as he kisses the back of the younger mans neck.</p><p>"Lube-" Castiel moans.</p><p>"Don't got any-" his hands are gripping his ass roughly, looking at what's between his cheeks. "-Mary got ready all on her own."</p><p>"Ugh-" Castiel groans in annoyance, "-I don't want to hear about her right now."</p><p>John uses spit in place of lube on Castiel's hungry hole, "-sorry sweetheart. You ready? I have a big one-"</p><p>Castiel looks over his shoulder, biting his lip in anticipation. "I know-" he moans, preparing himself for the breech. When it happens, he moans like a whore. He can't contain it, it's the biggest cock he's ever had buried in his ass. "Fuck-" John pounds into his ass shyly at first, until he realizes that it's just like fucking a woman in the ass.</p><p>John suddenly rolls him onto his back. Castiel's face was a lovely shade of pink and so were his lips. Kinda like <em>Dean's</em>. "You love me?" he asks.</p><p>Castiel blinks at him frantically, mostly to blink the sweat away from his eyes but he nods, assuming this is dirty talk. </p><p>"Tell me you love me-" John groans, slamming into his ass harder- hitting that sweet spot suddenly, once he found it he knew exactly where it was, hitting it every time he pushed in.</p><p>Castiel groans, pulling the older man down until he falls on top of his body- wrapping his arms around his neck just to have something to hold onto. "Ugh- yes-"</p><p>"Say it-" John orders right in his ear.</p><p>"I-I- ugh-" Castiel tries his best to focus, his orgasm was nearing. "-I love you." </p><p>John instantly comes inside of him without warning, though he keeps slamming into Castiel until he spills his load between their bodies. Now he begins to slow down his pace until he eventually stops. "Shit-" he pulls out slowly before cum dribbles out of the doctors twitching hole. "That's crazy-" he says, watching it come out.</p><p>Castiel's chest is heaving, up and down. "You're a fucking animal-" he sighs breathlessly. "-you were amazing."</p><p>John would be a liar if he said he didn't feel the slightest bit disgusted after what he just did, but the comment makes his heart swell with pride. "-thanks." he picks up the shirt he was wearing earlier and uses it to wipe the sweat from his face. "Gonna take a shower." when he feels like he'd being followed, he looks over his shoulder. "You're gonna join me?"</p><p>"Is that a problem?" Castiel frowns, he was feeling incredibly needy after just getting fucked into the mattress.</p><p>John flinches when the doctor gets in behind him in the shower. Castiel's peppering soft kisses to Johns upper back and he hadn't liked it at first but eventually gave in, turning around to face the younger man before shoving his tongue into his mouth. It's not so <em>bad,</em> John thinks.</p><p>"What?" Castiel pulls away.</p><p>"Nothin'-" he smiles, "-I could get used to this." and he begins to lather up the doctors body.</p><p>After their shower, John is begging him to stay. "I have work in the morning." Castiel says, toweling his dark hair.</p><p>"Come on." he pulls him in close, kissing him in hopes that he'll give in. The more time they spend together now, the better his plan will go later because he needs this man to fall in love with him. "Say you'll stay, you'll get to see Dean." he just had to use his son to get what he wanted.</p><p>Castiel agrees instantly at the mention of his sons name. He'd been wanting to see the boy for a while now and wondered how he was doing these days. "I'll stay-" the front door slams, it was Dean getting dropped off by his friends mother once again. John quickly leaves the bedroom to go find the kid.</p><p>"You have fun at Sam's?" he asks when they meet up in the dark hallway.</p><p>"Yea-" Dean nods, backpack in hand.</p><p>"Passed your bed time-" John huffs, guiding the boy into his room and into bed. Dean braces himself for what comes next but it doesn't. He seems to pick up on his sons internal defiance so he reassures him by saying, "I don't need you like that anymore son-" and kisses the boys forehead with no emotion behind it at all.</p><p>Surprisingly the words hurt him deeply, "Okay dad." but he forces a smile anyway because he''ll always be his fathers good little <em>soldier.</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Moving Day</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel wasn't too happy with his dating life, especially when it came to John Winchester.</p><p>The guy hadn't taken him out on a date yet and they haven't gone anywhere in public as a couple either so he confronted him about it the next time they saw each other.</p><p>"Are you ashamed of me?" Castiel asks impatiently. They were standing on the porch and he didn't care if they were making a scene, it'd been a few weeks since they had made things official and he didn't like feeling like a secret. "I know what I'm worth and if you can't see it someone else will!" he storms off towards his car that was parked right next to the impala.</p><p>John quickly catches up to him, "I'm not ashamed of you-" he kisses his lips sweetly, just how he knew he liked it. "See, baby I care about you. How about take you out this weekend, how's that sound?" and he had to whisper it just as sweetly into his ear because he's forgetting instantly why he was even upset. </p><p>John Winchester was good at faking the art of seduction, manipulation too. That's how they ended up sitting down for a movie on Castiel's day off and John was he was just glad that the theatre was dark enough so they wouldn't be seen since they were in his neck of the woods. </p><p>"Do you want anything sweetheart?" he forces the nickname, Castiel shakes his head. They know the movie is about to start because the lights dimmed, that's when Castiel starts rubbing up and down his thigh, it peeks his interest. "Here?" Castiel nods and John quickly releases himself from his work pants. Luckily they had been sitting way at the top and no one could see what was about to happen.</p><p>"Mmm-" he hums. John grips his dark hair roughly between his fingers and forces him down on his cock. Castiel gags a bit but manages to pull through, swallowing it all down when he comes. When they movie is over, Castiel couldn't say what happened during since he had his face buried in his boyfriends lap.</p><p>They're exiting the movie theatre when someone calls out the mechanics name. They both turn around instantly and John notices one of his buddies from the shop, he's instantly grateful to not be holding the doctors hand. Now he can pretend he was just out with his buddy.</p><p>He smiles at his work friend, who had approached them both. "Just out to a movie, you know-" The guy looks over to Castiel as if wanting an introduction. "This is Cas, he's my-" he pauses. "-he's my friend."</p><p>Castiel is pissed but he shakes the guys hand anyway. After a while he says, "I'll be in the car-" it didn't seem like their conversation was going to end anytime soon. Plus, his feet hurt from standing on them all day long at the hospital. When the mechanic finally joins him in the car he says, "Why are you lying, telling him that we're friends-"</p><p>John's quickly leans over, kissing him. "You're more than that-"</p><p>Castiel pulls away, "You're not okay with being seen with another man." he states the fact. "That's what this is about, isn't it?"</p><p>"Will you just drive-" John groans in anger, "-we'll talk about this later." but they don't, he was just buying time in hopes he would forget about this, which Castiel did. When they get to the house, he invites Castiel in and whatever happens, happens. <em>His new motto</em>. "Dean!" he roars and the boy comes padding into view. "Say hi to Cas."</p><p>Dean smiles shyly, "Hi-" and kicking the floor gently with his sock covered foot.</p><p>Castiel's heart melts instantly, "Heyy-" he coos, like he's talking to a five year old. Dean Winchester was that adorable, even at eleven. "How've you been-" he asks. Last time John promised him he'd get to see the boy, it didn't happen. </p><p>Dean shrugs, blushing. "I'm okay-"</p><p>Castiel nods, crossing his arms at his chest. "Good, glad to hear that buddy." </p><p>"Dean, go play." his father orders and off he boy goes, back to his room. "I wanted to talk to you about somethin'-" he guides the younger man to the living room so they can have a seat.</p><p>"What-" he's already getting tired of their relationship going nowhere, it hadn't been that long since they've been together but all he was asking for was to be able to be seen in public together, like a normal couple.</p><p>John licks his lips, his large hand resting on Castiel's knee. "Would you move in with me?" he asks, making eye contact.</p><p>"Seriously?" Castiel is surprised once again, "Isn't it too soon-" if he'd known that John was only asking him to move in because he needed help with the rent he may not have agreed, even after some convincing. </p><p>John shrugs, "I know I'm not perfect-" he begins his speech again. "-but maybe if we lived together, you might be able to help me fix my life. I'm broken Cas-I need a good man like you to help me put the pieces back together." Castiel is thinking it over. "I'm falling in love with you-" and he knows he's not buying it quite yet so he pulls him close, kissing him softly, how he liked it. "-baby please, I need you."</p><p>Castiel nods weakly, "Sure-" they kiss once more. "-I'll move in with you." </p><p>"Really?" John cups his face in his hands, Castiel melts even more and he nods. "You won't regret it- and you'll get to see Dean whenever you want." that alone is the cherry on top, he really liked Dean. </p><p>A few days later, Castiel's lease is up on his apartment and he decides not to renew and instead he begins to pack up his things. Although they hadn't agreed to a specific move in date, he assumed that the sooner they move in together, the better off they would be. At least he hoped. John came over to help him with his stuff once he broke the news about packing and he hadn't been upset at all so that had given Castiel some relief. He loved this apartment- it was nice and large, very modern -but the Winchester home wasn't <em>that </em>bad. Surely John would let him fix it up a bit to make it more pleasing to the eye.</p><p>"Hurry up-" John says impatiently, a large box in his hands. Castiel takes a final look at his empty apartment before following his lover down the few flights of stairs to the car. They had packed both their vehicles to capacity and the rest was on a u-haul that John had rented. He had to spend some cash eventually, or else Castiel would think he was just a deadbeat, which he was but he had to make some kind of effort.</p><p>They're unloading things from the car when Dean walks up and stands there, just watching. His father hadn't clued him in on anything that was going on. "Dad, what's he doing here-" his eyes fixate on the blue eyed man.</p><p>The two men turn around at the sudden sound of his voice, "My <em>friend</em> is coming to live with us-" and before Castiel gets angry over calling him his friend once again he whispers in his ear, "-the kid is only eleven, he doesn't need to know I fuck you in the ass."</p><p>Castiel goes red in the face and smiles politely at the boy. "That okay, if I move in with you guys?"</p><p>Dean looks confused for a moment before he yells, "No!" and runs up the porch steps, into the house.</p><p>"Dean!" John roars and Castiel holds him back from going after the boy. "The little shit, you'll see soon what I'm talkin' about- those fuckin' tantrums."</p><p>It takes them a few more days to fix everything, Castiel brought a few pieces of furniture along with his personal belongings. They compromised and made it work eventually. </p><p>"So how you feelin'-" John asks once Castiel has settled in completely. They're laying in bed relaxing after another long day. </p><p>"It's a little strange-" Castiel says, "-Dean doesn't like having me here."</p><p>"I wouldn't worry, kids are resilient." he reaches for the lamp, shutting it off before they're in complete darkness. Castiel looks up into the dark nothingness for a few hours before falling asleep. When he opens his eyes in the morning he sees the empty space beside him. "John-" he calls out, pulling himself out of bed. </p><p>"He's working-" Dean says softly when he enters the kitchen, this would be the first time they actually speak in weeks. "We have cereal if you want-"</p><p>Castiel makes a face at the cereal, "I'm too old for lucky charms." and looks inside the fridge and finds nothing. "It looks like I'm going grocery shopping today. Will you come with me?" the boy shrugs, "Great, finish up in here and meet me in the car." he throws his car keys at the boy. "I need to get dressed-"</p><p>Dean goes outside and stares at the keys in his hand, then at the car. He didn't want to fuck up somehow so he decided to wait instead since he didn't trust himself with something this nice.</p><p>Once at the grocery store Castiel pushes around the shopping cart and Dean follows alongside him, it feels weird- he'd never gone grocery shopping with his own father before, sometimes he'd go with his mom but that was about it. </p><p>"Anything special you want?" Castiel asks Dean. </p><p>"Uh, chips-" the boy looks so scared, you'd think he'd never been in a grocery store before.</p><p>Castiel nods, "Sure. Anything else-" they go through the aisles, until they find the chips and he picks up a couple bags of the one's he'd chosen. "-anything goes, grab what you want." that makes the boy very happy but he controls himself, only getting a few things. They're now standing in line at the registers when Castiel sighs heavily. </p><p>Dean perks up and looks up at him, "Are you mad cause I got stuff-"</p><p>"Hmm?" Castiel looks down at him, "Oh no-" he laughs. "-my feet are killing me. I don't get to sit down much at work."</p><p>"Oh." Dean wipes his nose on the back of his hand.</p><p>Castiel catches the movement, "Are you sick?" he presses the back of his hand to his forehead. "You're a little warm-" he pulls out his wallet to pay for everything and says, "I'll make you some soup tonight." Dean nods. Tt was just a cold- his father never fussed over him like this so why mention something so small as a runny nose and sore throat.</p><p>"Aren't we going home?" Dean asks from the passenger seat.</p><p>Castiel had pulled into a Starbucks parking lot, "Yes, I'm sorry-" he pulls out his wallet once again. "-if I don't get coffee in me soon-" he laughs, "-I won't be able to function. Here-" he gives Dean a twenty dollar bill, just because. "-our secret." The boy smiles and pockets it gratefully. "I'll be right back."</p><p>A few moments later Castiel exits the coffee shop and sprints up to the car, Dean watched his every move. Once inside the cool air conditioned car, he sighs. "Ready-" he asks, taking a sip of his iced coffee drink. </p><p>"What's that taste like?" Dean asks, hands on his lap. He was always extremely well behaved from what Castiel has seen so far.</p><p>"I'd let you try it but don't want you barfing in my car-" he laughs."-you wouldn't like it anyway, it's coffee." Dean begs to try it. "Alright-" he hands the drink over and he takes a sip, instantly making a sour lemon face. "I told you-" he sighs, peeling out of the parking lot. "Next time I'll get you one of those frozen chocolate drinks-"</p><p>"You mean a milkshake?" Dean hides his smile by looking out the window.</p><p>"Right-" Castiel laughs at his stupidity, "-I'm never around kids, this is all new for me."</p><p>Once he parks in the driveway of the house, he's surprised by how eager the boy is to help him with the groceries and he'd brought in almost all of them into the kitchen himself. </p><p>"I appreciate your help, I really do-" Castiel starts putting food away in the fridge, "-but you should go play. Go do do kid stuff."</p><p>Dean shrugs, "Like what-"</p><p>Castiel thinks about it, "I have no idea what kids do." he admits honestly as he puts everything away either in the fridge or in the kitchen cabinets. </p><p>"Can't I hang out with you?" Dean asks, looking up at the man through his lashes.</p><p>Castiel's heart melts, "Sure-uh-" he sits down at the kitchen table with his laptop and iced coffee. "-do you mind playing here while I do some research?" he asks and Dean agrees, before he sits next to the man he goes to grab his homework so he can do it at the table. "So, you chose homework over toys, I'm impressed." he comments. They work side by side in silence for about an hour when the boy asks him what he's doing on his computer. </p><p>"Well-" Castiel sighs, "-since there's always new treatments and medications coming to the market quite frequently I need to keep up to date so I-" Dean looks confused. "-you have no idea what I'm saying do you?" he shakes his head and it makes him smile- he thinks Dean is really cute. "Let's have a look at this-" he pulls Dean's work book closer so he can examine it. "-you're doing great, keep it up." he says after checking the work, every problem had been correct.</p><p>Dean smiles before scribbling on the workbook once again. Castiel sips his iced coffee until it occurs to him that he hasn't had anything to eat today. "Do you want lunch yet?" the boy nods. "Alright, let's see what I can make us-" he gets up, patting the boys shoulder on his way to the fridge. "How does a salad sound?"</p><p>Dean makes a comment about salad being rabbit foot. Castiel looks over his shoulder, clearly not agreeing. "Dad said-"</p><p>"Well, your dad doesn't know anything about-"</p><p>John barges in through the door, catching that last part. "What don't I know anything about?" he huffs, shoving Castiel aside so he can grab a beer. "Don't be tellin' him shit about me. Got that, Mary number two-" </p><p>Castiel shuts his eyes tightly, willing his anger away. It was now the second time he'd been called that. He goes to sit at the table next to Dean instead, forgetting all about making food. </p><p>"Weren't you going to make lunch?" John comments, taking a seat at the table. Castiel bites his tongue yet again and gets up.  "Make sandwiches, none of that hippie shit you're into." In the mechanics mind, somehow eating salads made you a hippie.</p><p>Lunch is eaten in silence and now Castiel is feeling a lot like Mary had, what the poor woman had to endure at the hands of this man. He'd only just moved in a week ago and they were already starting to have problems. Minor things, but they were still problems and John would fuck him so good that he didn't care what issues popped up, he'd put up with anything just to have a boyfriend and a warm body to touch at night.</p><p>Maybe if he did everything John said and held his tongue as much as possible, he wouldn't cause problems. Castiel was desperate for some human touch and he was going to get it somehow even if he had to play nice with a guy who was a complete and total jerk at times. He had to convince himself that he was just that, a jerk and in no way, shape or form- abusive. </p><p>John goes back to work and they're left alone once again but this time his spirits have dimmed and he's not in the mood to hang out with Dean. </p><p>"Would you mind If I go take a nap?" he asks the boy while he picks up the mess on the kitchen table. "I have a headache-"</p><p>"Okay-" Dean says, too focused on his homework to notice the look of despair on the doctors face.</p><p>That night when John comes home from work, Castiel is happy to see him and from the looks of it so was he. "Missed you-" Castiel whispers, once he's got the older man alone in the bedroom. "Could we-" his hand cups the mans bulge over his work pants. "-it's been a while."</p><p>John pushes him away, "Nah." and paces around the room, looking through his drawers for something comfortable to sleep in. "Not in the mood to fuck."</p><p>Castiel can't take it anymore and he starts crying, tears fall down his cheeks. </p><p>John turns around at the sound of a grown mans blubbering, "Really? You're really cryin' over my dick?" he laughs.</p><p>"I should have never moved in-" Castiel wipes his face, "-I'm going to find a new apartment." </p><p>John knows rent is due next week so he has to play nice and keep up the game. Not once in his self centered ways had he considered that Castiel could leave him if he became unhappy with their situation. He walks over and pulls the younger man into his arms, "Don't leave, I'm sorry-" he kisses the mans forehead. "-work wasn't great today, I didn't make much money."</p><p>Castiel looks up at him with tears in his eyes. "I told you I would help you-"<em>ka-ching, </em>"I want to help-" </p><p>"Alright then-" he says, in a tone that sounds sad but he's actually happy right now with the sound of many cash registers ringing loudly in his ears. </p><p>"Kiss me-" Castiel whispers hoarsely and John does, in a way that has him moaning into his mouth like a desperate whore. "Fuck me, please- " he begs. "-please." the older man nods, man handling him onto the bed-on his stomach. John yanks his pants down to his ankles and Castiel lifts his ass in the air, beyond ready.</p><p>"We're outta condoms-" he says after taking a look in the nightstand.</p><p>"I don't care-" Castiel begs, "Fuck me." And John obliges, he pounds that white ass without mercy- the way Castiel liked.</p><p>In the week to come, nothing much has changed. Castiel paid the rent in full and John fucked him good that night as well, to show his gratitude. Aside from fucking, John wasn't around much, he was at work during the day, and so was Castiel- at night he'd be at the bar and left him alone with Dean so he could babysit. He was starting to come to the conclusion that maybe the man just wanted a live in nanny to care for his child. Of course it upset him, but Dean was adorable and fun to be with so he wasn't too mad about it.</p><p>Dean was on a sleep over at Sam's house so he hadn't seem him that day. When John came home late as usual, he was beyond drunk, maybe on something too- he made the terrible mistake of trying to get something going because the next thing he knows is getting his lights punched out. </p><p>"John-" he groans, hand over his bloody nose. "-what the hell." and spits blood on the floor, where he had fallen down.</p><p>"Fuck away from me you faggot-" he falls onto the bed and passes out. </p><p>Castiel doesn't know why but he wishes Dean were here, so he could talk to him- talking to the kid always made him feel better regardless of the situation. He stays on the floor where he had been for a while until he can manage to get up and go to the bathroom to clean himself up. After looking in the mirror he sees the mess John made out of him, his nose was bleeding out and he had a bruise on his lip. Rubbing his face with a warm damp cloth did nothing for the blood so he decided on a shower. </p><p>Eventually he's in bed, alongside John when the guy wakes up. Castiel stays still, quiet even- he doesn't know what kind of mood he's in now. The mans large hands start groping his body and even though he's hurt, both physically and emotionally he can't help but give in. Especially when sweet words are being whispered roughly into his ears. It's sick and wrong but he loves it. A punch to the face is nothing to what his last boyfriend had done to him- it's the only thing keeping him from leaving the man and his son.</p><p>John opens his eyes in the morning and yawns. He's moving around the room as he gets ready for work when he sees the younger man in his bed, really sees him. He goes over to shake him awake since he knows he's got work at the hospital. "The hell happened to you-" he asks, actually concerned.</p><p>Castiel winces at the pain in his face, "You happened to me-" he slowly sits up, making a mental note to have Meg take a look at him since she was his work bestie. "Ugh-" he groans, refusing John's help in walking to the bathroom. Not only had he gotten hit in the face pretty hard, he had gotten fucked a whole lot harder.</p><p>John says he's sorry before going to work and Castiel nods, not caring much for the apology. When he arrives at the hospital for work, every one of his colleagues fusses over him, helping him and trying to pry into his personal business. He must have said he fell on the floor after a crazy night of drinking about a dozen times before he was finally left alone. After work, he's still upset about last night's events but he needs to see Dean, his adorable face should brighten his spirits as they always did in his presence.</p><p>Meg had put some concealer on his lip and around his nose to cover up the bruise. If it wasn't for her great makeup skills he wouldn't have done what he was about to do- drive to Dean's school to pick him up. Luckily he arrived just in time and he was still there, waiting for his bus out front. He honks his car a few times to grab his attention. When the boy looks over his way, he instantly breaks into a smile. Castiel waves at him from behind the steering wheel.</p><p>Dean hurries to his car, opening the door. "Did dad send you to pick me up?" John asked him to do no such thing but he nods anyway. The boy gets in and quickly buckles in.</p><p>After a while on the road he says, "I'm dying for a coffee, mind tagging along?" the boy shrugs since he doesn't care where they go, he's just happy the school day is over.</p><p>Once they're at Starbucks, Castiel has the boy sit down at a small table in the corner to wait for him. He's standing in line for quite a while and every now and then their eyes meet, the boy quickly looks away. After what felt like forever, to Dean anyway, Castiel comes over with their drinks and a brown paper bag. </p><p>"This one's for you, it's a chocolate something-" he sips his own iced coffee drink and instantly relaxes. He watches the boy sip on his drink, he likes it. </p><p>"What's in there-" Dean asks, chewing on the green straw of his drink. He'd never been here before but he sort of liked it, aside from the strong smell that lingered about.</p><p>"I got you a cake pop-" he's confused. "It's like-" Castiel laughs, trying to explain. "It's a little ball of cake on a stick, basically-" </p><p>"Okay." Dean takes it and nearly eats it all in one bite, "Mmm-" he likes that too. </p><p>"Aww you like it-" he coos, eating his treat. "This one's a scone, wanna try?" the boy nods, "Here-" he breaks it in half so they can share. Dean likes that too. "I come here often-" Castiel volunteers the information. "I love coffee-" he sighs, half laughing. "It's the only thing keeping me alive at this point-"</p><p>Dean nods, his chubby fingers holding his half of the scone. He sniffles again, looking for something to wipe his nose on.</p><p>Castiel hands him a napkin, "You're still sick?" the boy shrugs. "We'll stop by the store, get you some medicine." </p><p>They talk casually for a while, mostly they just people watch. Dean liked that the most. Castiel's almost done with coffee before he says, "Let's get going-" he tosses their mess along with the boys empty cup, taking his to go. </p><p>They're in the store when Dean tugs on the sleeve of his sweater, "Hmm?" he hums. He'd been trying to decide between two different bottles of cold medicine.</p><p>"Where's the bathroom-" he asks, squeezing his legs together anxiously.</p><p>Castiel quickly pays for the medicine, he had to make a quick decision on one before taking the boy to the back of the store to a bathroom. "Can you come in with me-" he looks up at him.</p><p>"Sure." Castiel goes in with him, waiting a respectful distance away from the stall he had gone into. When he emerges he waits for the boy to wash his hands and hands him paper towels. "Anything he else?" Dean goes red instantly. "Alright then, let's go home-" he laughs.</p><p>Back at the house he gives him the cold medicine which he takes and makes that sour lemon face again. He gets to work on making soup while Dean does his homework at the kitchen table. John hadn't even popped up into his mind once since he left the hospital. The door slams shut and instantly he's reminded of the guy who hit him in the face. </p><p>John walks into the kitchen, looking at Dean first then Castiel. "What's cookin' good lookin'-" he sits down at the table.</p><p>"Soup." he says coldly. "For Dean, he's been sick."</p><p>"You sick?" he asks his own son, not having any idea. Dean shrugs and his father surprisingly makes himself a sandwich of his own. "I'll be in my room, somethin' on tv I wanna watch." </p><p>"Doesn't he ever take care of you when you're sick?" Castiel asks, setting a bowl of steaming hot soup in front of him. Dean was smart enough to let it cool down first, he'd been pretty self sufficient- or as self sufficient as an eleven year old can be. </p><p>Dean blows on his soup before trying it,  "Mom would take care of me-" Castiel nods, he too was blowing on his soup. </p><p>Eventually Castiel says, "Let's go brush our teeth, yeah?" after their bowls were empty. Dean nods and they go to the bathroom together, leaving the door wide open as they brush their teeth. Castiel yawns, then Dean yawns as well like it was contagious. "And you, you need to be in bed already-" He guides the tired boy to his room. </p><p>Castiel hadn't been in Dean's room a whole lot just yet, maybe a few times to pick up the kids laundry. Dean climbs into bed and practically tucks himself in, his eyes look up at the man in the room with him. He looked so sweet, tucked underneath the covers- it really warmed his heart. "Goodnight Dean, if you need anything- you know where to find us." </p><p>Dean nods, yawning once more before closing his eyes.</p><p>Castiel turns off the lights in his room and closes the door behind him. He's really not looking forward to sleeping next to John tonight so he makes himself comfortable on the sofa for the night and actually slept like a baby for the first time in a while. John hadn't come looking for him throughout the night either, probably a blessing in disguise- he couldn't go another round tonight, fucking or otherwise.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Salty & Sweet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's the middle of September and the leaves are dried up and on the ground instead of on tree branches where they should be. It had been raining every single day without fail for the last two weeks which means Castiel is dropping Dean Winchester off at school in the morning and picking him up after. Today was no different, he'd parked the car and was was waiting at the schools double doors with his umbrella, waiting for him.</p><p>Dean didn't mind, he liked being picked up by Castiel because it always meant going to the store afterwards to pick up things for the house or going to that place with the cool drinks. He was finally feeling like he had a real dad in his life now- Even if he didn't know Castiel all that well yet, he liked him a whole bunch. </p><p>They talked a lot now, having had many miles under their belts from all the drives to and from school to get to know each other. Dean knew a lot about him, but it wasn't enough. Castiel didn't talk about his childhood or where he grew up, he didn't know anything about his life before meeting his dad. Dean's young enough to assume he didn't have a life before them. </p><p>As soon as Dean comes out from the building he goes to Castiel and they huddle under the umbrella before running to the car in the parking lot. Once again they start to learn new things about each other. Dean learned what Castiel's favorite color was after he told him that his was Black.</p><p>"Your favorite color is-" Dean looks confused, "Beige?" Castiel laughs, nodding. "But beige is boring." </p><p>"So, what's it going to be today buddy-" he smiles while driving, "Mcdonald's or Starbucks?" the boy in the passenger seat is thinking it over, making a kissy face as he does. </p><p>"McDonald's-" after Castiel ordered their meals to go Dean mentions, "Tomorrow we're having a book fair, can you come?" Castiel briefly looks over at him. "I know dad won't come, he doesn't like books-"</p><p>Castiel smiles, "Sure, I'll come."</p><p>The next day during the book fair Dean and Sam are in the library in the midst of all the parents. "He's not coming-" Dean frowns, looking around. </p><p>"Uh-" Sam gestures behind him, Dean turns around and he smiles. </p><p>"I wouldn't miss it." Castiel smiles, patting him on the shoulder. "Let's look around. Sam, you mind?" Sam shakes his head before going to join his mom. "What do you want?"</p><p>"Hmm-" Dean looks around, picking up a few books. "Can I have these Castiel-"</p><p>He can't resist those green eyes, "Sure, Buddy-" after a while of looking at all the books, Dean ends up leaving with about six books. "Anything else?" Dean blushes, shaking his head. "Alright, I'm going to go pay for these-" he takes the books from the boys hands. "Why don't you go say bye to Sam-"</p><p>"Why bye?" Dean sniffles. </p><p>Castiel noticed that he had gotten another cold or maybe it was the same one. "Because I'm taking you home early-" he winks. Dean quickly goes to say bye to his friend before rejoining him by the library exit. They walk out together and Dean skips over the many puddles there was in the parking lot until they reach the car. "Put these in the back seat-" </p><p>Dean takes his books and puts them in the backseat once the door unlocks. Once he's buckled in the passenger seat he asks, "Did you get permission to take me out of school?"</p><p>Castiel hesitates before answering, "I told the principal I was your step dad-" he analyzes the boys face. "Is that okay?"</p><p>Dean nods, "S'okay-" </p><p>That night Castiel makes dinner as usual and he made enchiladas. John was home, not as usual and he loved the dinner. Though Dean, not so much.</p><p>"What's wrong?" Castiel asks, John hadn't noticed that his son wasn't eating. </p><p>Dean shrugs, he had picked the enchiladas on his plate apart and only ate the cheese with his fingers. "Gross stuff on top-"</p><p>"You mean meat?" John huffs, "Stop actin' like a little girl and just eat them-"</p><p>Dean's so scared of his father now that he grabs his fork and eats them, even if the didn't like it. It turned into a stomach ache late at night when the adults were asleep. "Castiel-" he opens the bedroom door, "Castiel-"</p><p>Castiel wakes up, "What's wrong-" he sits up and rubs the sleep out of his eyes. When he sees that the boy has his hand on his tummy, he knows it was dinner that has him up this late. "Your dad shouldn't have made you eat something you didn't like, come on-" he guides the boy to his bedroom, gets him into bed. "I'll be right back."</p><p>When the doctor comes back he's got that all too familiar cup in his hand filled with orange liquid. Dean knocks it back quickly and winces, "Yuck-" Castiel's about to leave when he says, "Can you stay-"</p><p>Castiel stops in his tracks, "It's four in the morning-" the look of sadness on the boys face has him nodding and sitting down on the edge of the bed. His eyes close after ten seconds.</p><p>"Castiel-" the small voice has him jolting awake. "You can sleep in here-" he scoots over closer to the wall, making room in the small twin bed. </p><p>Castiel snuggles next to the boy under the covers. "Close your eyes-" he orders after a minute or two, sensing those green eyes looking up at him. </p><p>"Okay-" Dean wraps an arm around the bigger body next to him, he liked snuggling with Castiel because it didn't hurt or feel weird- he wasn't touched in ways he didn't like. Actually, he didn't touch the boy at all. "Ahh-haaa-" Dean yawns sleepily a few minutes later, now that his stomach ache had faded and he was comfortable.</p><p>Castiel runs his hand up and down his back to sooth him and the boy yawns again before falling asleep. He watches over him for a few minutes before falling asleep himself.</p><p>The next morning was a beautiful Autumn day, it was so nice and cool outside that Castiel had taken his morning coffee outside to enjoy on the front porch. It wasn't long before John stepped outside to ruin it all. </p><p>"Fuckin' cold-" John hugs himself over his jacket. "The fuck you doin' out here?"</p><p>Castiel resists the urge to roll his eyes at the man, "Well, I <em>was </em>relaxing." he chugs the last of his coffee.</p><p>John looks around the yard, seeing all the mess. "Since you're out here, why don't ya pick up Dean's crap and rake those damn leaves-" and it didn't sound like a question but a statement. </p><p>"Can't you do it?" he's beyond tired after four ten hour shifts at the hospital each week. </p><p>"Goin' to work right now-" </p><p>"Why bother, I make more money than you and I pay all the bill-" it was the wrong thing to say because John grabs him by the chin and gets in his face, he didn't say anything, it was just to scare him. John lets go once his eyes go wide in fear and he walks to the impala, laughing at him.</p><p>When the car pulls away he gets up and throws his empty mug at the impala,  "Stupid Jerk-" and of course he missed- the mug shattered on the oil stained drive way.</p><p>"Why did you do that-" Dean's small voice appears from behind the screen door. </p><p>Castiel turns around, embarrassed. "Are you hungry?" he ignores the question.</p><p>After breakfast, Dean helps him rake leaves outside- but not before forcing him to put on a jacket that was too big for him. Castiel makes a mental note to take him coat shopping soon.</p><p>"You're so helpful-" he smiles down at the boy doing his best to help clean up the yard.</p><p>"I like to help-" Dean says quietly, he bends down and picks up a bunch of leaves with his hands and tosses them inside the garbage bag Castiel was holding open. They do this for almost an hour, until the yard is pretty much green again. "All done-" Dean smiles.</p><p>"Yes we are, couldn't have done it without you." he ruffles the boy's hair. Dean sneezes, "Let's get you inside-" </p><p>The whole day is spent comfortably and it was only because Castiel paid to have the heat in the house fixed and it made the boy happy, so he was happy too. They fall asleep on the couch together until the sound of the front door slamming shut wakes him up. Castiel looks at the watch on his wrist, it was dinner time and nothing was on the table for John. </p><p>"No dinner again-" the man huffs from the kitchen.</p><p>Castiel braces himself mentally before joining him, "I fell asleep-"</p><p>John nods, running a hand down his face. "You fell asleep-" he opens the fridge and makes himself a sandwich. "Good for nothin', just like Mary-" after the comment is made, he leaves for the bedroom.</p><p>Castiel sheds a few tears in the kitchen alone before he prepares a sandwich for Dean and himself. "Dean-" he speaks loud enough for only the boy to hear. "Time to eat-" the boy on the couch perks up, rubbing his eyes before padding into the kitchen. "Sit-"</p><p>Dean sits down and blinks his eyes to get rid of the sleepiness before he takes a bite of his sandwich. It didn't work because he's eating with his eyes half open.</p><p>"Careful-" Castiel taps his arm, "Wake up-"</p><p>Dean puts down his half eaten sandwich, "Wanna go back to sleep-" he yawns.</p><p>"Alright, guess we're all going to bed early tonight-" he guides the boy down the hall to his bedroom and tucks him in. "I was thinking we should go shopping tomorrow, get you a jacket that isn't your dads-" he laughs softly and Dean nods, already fading away into dream land. "Goodnight-" Castiel runs his fingers through his hair before getting up and closing the door behind him.</p><p>He's really not looking forward to sleeping in the bed with John tonight. When he walks in, the guy was laying in bed watching something on the small television they had in their bedroom. His brown eyes look over at him for a second before refocusing on the screen.</p><p>Castiel carefully gets into bed, underneath the covers and sighs at warmth. He must have been asleep an hour before John is waking him up in the least pleasant way- rolling him over onto his stomach. "What are you-" his eyes open wide, "No-" John yanks his sweatpants and boxers down. "No!"</p><p>John shoves his face into the pillow, "You'll wake him up-" Castiel feels him pressing against his hole, pushing in despite being met with resistance. "I'll be done in two minutes-" Castiel groans into the pillow, it hurt like hell to be fucked dry and raw. This guy seriously needed a lesson in prep work and in taking no for an answer. </p><p>Once it's over the man rolls off him and falls asleep instantly but Castiel, he had to get up and take a quick shower to rinse off his body before going to sleep. He'd just gotten fucked ten minutes ago but he's already sore as hell and limping into bed. As soon as his head hits the pillow, he's dead to the world.</p><p>When he opens his eyes in the morning he's glad to see that he's alone in bed, meaning John left for work already. Castiel goes back to sleep until noon before he finally gets up out of bed to get breakfast started. He's cracking eggs into a sizzling pan when Dean walks into the kitchen, his hair is a mess and his lips and cheeks are puffy from all the hours of sleep he's had.</p><p>"Morning-" Castiel smiles over his shoulder. "Have a seat, it's almost ready-"</p><p>"Eggs are my favorite-" he smiles. "-I like them with ketchup."</p><p>"Grosssss-" Castiel groans playfully in disgust, setting his plate of eggs and the bottle of ketchup on the table for him to dig into. </p><p>"I love ketchup. Ketchup is a vegetable-" Dean explains his logic while drenching his breakfast in the red substance. When Castiel stares at him he explains further, "Tomatoes-"</p><p>"Ah, right-" Castiel smiles and they eat in comfortable silence until he mentions, "It's getting pretty cold outside, wanna go pick out a jacket?" since the boy just shrugs in response he takes that as a yes. "Great, finish up your food and we'll get going-" Castiel stands up, kissing the top of his head- quickly realizing that was weird and he plays it off like he didn't just do that. </p><p>Castiel finishes getting dressed first and he does the dishes while waiting for Dean to get ready. "Dean, you ready?" he's wiping his hands on a dish towel when the boy emerges. "So you're ready-" he laughs, tossing the towel into the now empty sink.</p><p>Dean looks completely overwhelmed at the mall, they were in a specific store that sold outerwear and sporting goods. "Castiel-" he says, staying close to the older man as they walk through the store.</p><p>Castiel looks down at him, "What's the matter buddy-" he refocuses on looking through the jackets for kids. "How about this one?" he pulls out a jacket that was dark brown, "You like brown? or how about black?"</p><p>Dean sways back and forth, thinking of which one he wants. "Um, black?"</p><p>"Guess we got a winner-" he puts the dark brown one away. </p><p>"But I like the brown one too-" his face is distraught, "-but-" he looks down at his shoes and Castiel crouches down in front of him.</p><p>"You don't have to choose, look-" he points to a sign above the display. "Buy one jacket, get the second half off-" that makes the boy smile because now he's getting two jackets. "Come on-" he grabs both jackets and they head for the register at the front.</p><p>Dean gulps when he sees that the total was almost two hundred dollars. "Sorry Castiel-"</p><p>"Don't be sorry-" he smiles down at him before swiping his card to pay.</p><p>They're walking outside of the mall when Dean starts crying and he knew this only because he heard sniffling coming from down below so he crouches down in front of him right there in the parking lot. "What's wrong?"</p><p>"I feel bad-" Dean admits, wiping his runny nose with the sleeve of his fathers jacket that he won't be using anymore thanks to this man. Castiel feels his forehead, "Not that kind of bad-"</p><p>Castiel smiles, "I told you it was okay, I can afford it." he winks. "Come on, I'll buy you a hot chocolate-" Dean smiles sadly and follows him to the car.</p><p>They're sitting in a fairly empty Starbucks while Dean's having a kid sized hot chocolate and Castiel's having his coffee. Things were going well, as well as they can go when you're trying to cheer up a guilty boy. </p><p>Dean's looking down at his drink when he says, "Can I make it up to you-"</p><p>Castiel shakes his head, "No-" the boys watery eyes look up at him. "-how about a kiss?" he smiles, pointing at his cheek.</p><p>Dean nods, reaching over the table and planting one right there on his cheek. </p><p>"You see-" Castiel smiles, "-that alone was worth the two hundred bucks."</p><p>Dean shrugs, looking down as he blushes- he was such a timid and shy boy. "We're even?" he says after a while.</p><p>"Sure-" Castiel smiles, standing up. "Let's get going, we can show your dad what we got today-"</p><p>Dean grumbles, "He won't care-" </p><p>Back at the house Dean's moping around, following Castiel through each room in the house as he picks up the mess and cleans. "May I help you?" he looks over his shoulder with a smile. Dean shrugs, watching him work. "Wanna help me?" he'd been sweeping each room and Dean shakes his head. Castiel looks at his watch, "Your dad should've been home by now-" </p><p>It was almost ten in the evening and they've already had dinner. John's plate had been wrapped up in foil and was waiting for him on the kitchen table. By experience, Castiel didn't want him to come home and get upset over there being nothing left for him- he'd learned his lesson. Always have food waiting for him even if he wasn't home in time to eat it. </p><p>Castiel's washing his hands in the kitchen sink after doing all the chores, "Aren't you bored of watching me clean the house?" he says because he feels those green eyes staring at the back of his head.</p><p>"It wasn't enough-" his voice is soft.</p><p>Castiel turns around, wiping his hand on the dish towel before tossing it on the counter. "What wasn't enough?"</p><p>Dean's got his hands behind his back nervously. "Can I give you another kiss?" </p><p>Castiel's heart flutters and he's nodding before he can think clearly about it. "Will that make you feel less guilty?" the boy nods so he crouches down, "Alright, lay it on me-" he chuckles. As soon as the boys lips press against his cheek, he feels hot- it washes over him suddenly and he has to pull away. "Better?" he asks the question softly.</p><p>"I'll tell you tomorrow-" Dean smiles, looking away. Castiel doesn't take the time to notice details when they're up close and personal like this, because why would he- this boy is eleven, he shouldn't be noticing anything. But right now, right here- after this innocent cheek kiss. He's noticing him now, Dean Winchester was actually a really pretty boy. "Castiel?" he asks, brows knit together in worry.</p><p>Castiel shakes his head, he'd gotten lost for a second there. "I'm okay-" he stands up with a tired huff, walking passed the boy who follows him down the hall and into the bedroom. "Shouldn't you be getting ready for bed?" he sits down on his bed, kicking off his shoes.</p><p>Dean shrugs, looking around the bedroom. He hadn't been in here since before his mom left, must have been when he had a bad dream- he crawled into the bed between his parents because he'd been scared to go back to his room.</p><p>Castiel doesn't want to send him to his room so he invites him to get in, "Come on-" he gets under the covers and allows the boy to get under them too. "We'll take a nap while we wait for your dad-" Dean nods, instantly yawning into his hand. Castiel closes his eyes, ready to sleep when he feels the boy using his chest as a pillow. It feels weird, really weird but he liked it- he envied John of this, he had a child to love him and he was missing out because he enjoyed time at the bar more than time at home.</p><p>Eventually John comes home and he's pissed as soon as he sees the doctor son duo on the bed, "He's not allowed in my bed!" his sudden roar in the silent room wakes them both up and Dean quickly scrambles away to his room. They weren't doing anything wrong, they were just sleeping and John hadn't suspected anything of <em>that </em>nature going on between them either. </p><p>"We were waiting for you-" Castiel gulps, he's propped up on his elbows. "We missed you-" it's a lie.</p><p>John's still breathing heavily from having yelled, "You missed me?" he asks, unbuckling his belt and Castiel knows what that means. If he had to get fucked in order to keep the man from raging out further- he'd do it- it would mean tiring out John Winchester so that Dean can stay safe in his room and not undergo any wrath that would have come his way otherwise.</p><p>"I missed you-" Castiel lies, he's pushing down his pajamas and boxers down to his knees. </p><p>John relaxes, "I missed you too baby-" he shuts off the bedside lamp before climbing on the bed. It was a new thing now, turning off all the lights before having sex, little did Castiel know it was so John could somewhat pretend he was fucking a woman. </p><p>The next day John takes both Castiel and his son to pick out pumpkins for Halloween, which was quickly approaching in a few short weeks. Castiel had begged him to come pick out pumpkins to carve as well as decorations. After an hour of convincing him and begging- he agreed.</p><p>They're standing in the farmers market that was almost an hour away just looking at the damn things. John had sulked the entire drive there and wouldn't even enjoy the scenery on the way and that pissed Castiel off but he would not let John ruin this for Dean. Because Dean had been excited, they never really celebrated anything before but Halloween was a good start.</p><p>"I want this one!" Dean yells, running up to Castiel with a small pumpkin in his arms.</p><p>Castiel laughs, "You can have that one but pick out another one. One we can actually carve-" Dean nods and they work together to pick another two pumpkins. "You like this one?" he asks John, who shrugs and looks away from them. The man had been standing about six feet away from them as he usually did on their outings. </p><p>After the market they head to a store that only carried Halloween costumes and decorations for this particular holiday. Dean had a blast looking at everything on display and Castiel had asked if he'd like to pick out his costume and he did want to, but the look on his fathers face had him rejecting the offer. Maybe they'd choose one together, just them two. </p><p>"Let's go-" John rushes them both, he was regretfully carrying a basket filled with cobwebs and other decorations he hadn't wanted to get but Castiel over ruled him. </p><p>Castiel nods, it was getting kind of late anyway and they hadn't eaten anything since breakfast. This little adventure had taken a lot longer than they had originally thought but the only one who was pissed about it was John. Again, as usual. </p><p>"You wanna go to the bar that bad-" Castiel mentions softly, in anger once they're back in the car driving home. </p><p>"No-" John squeezes his bulge playfully. "-I'm itchin' to get home and fuck you." </p><p>"Shhh-" Castiel hisses loudly, looking over into the back seat to see that the eleven year old boy was still asleep. </p><p>"Who cares if he hears, he's gonna figure it out eventually-" </p><p>Castiel looks over at John briefly before refocusing on the road, ignoring him the rest of the way back. Before getting home he stopped by McDonald's to get Dean a happy meal and burger meals for John and himself. </p><p>At home they're all eating on the couch like a little happy family of three, except Dean didn't really know that his father and his friend were shacking up in that way. To Dean's knowledge he just thought it was normal for two men to live together, especially if they were friends- he saw nothing wrong with it and if he did, he didn't really understand what was going on. </p><p>He'd seen them kissing a few times, but yet again he didn't think it was weird or wrong. Dean often was left alone to watch soap operas so he was very aware of what kissing was but he didn't know of any boundaries- If two men kissing was normal, or the ages of people kissing- he thought nothing of it. To him, it was all normal. After all, kissing was better than fighting or hitting. </p><p>The movie that had been on the television was a little too grown up for a boy to be watching so Castiel changes the channel. "You're too young for that-" he comments after Dean looks up at him in wonder.</p><p>"I watch stuff like this all the time-"</p><p>Castiel looks at John, "Why do you let him watch-"</p><p>John roars, "How am I supposed to stop him from doin' stuff when I'm not around!" before storming out of the house. The mans outburst didn't phase them, not really. They were used to him getting angry and storming off by now.</p><p>After a few minutes of silence Castiel says, "If you're not tired yet, how about we carve those pumpkins?" Dean nods eagerly, he'd never carved one before. </p><p>In the kitchen, Castiel sets old newspapers all over the table so they don't get it all sticky with pumpkin guts. Dean's sitting on the chair with his baby pumpkin, he'd been holding onto it like it was a real live baby and the act itself warmed his heart. The boy was so sweet and pure. Castiel tears open the package that contained all the materials for carving and he hands Dean a few stencils.</p><p>"Do you want a happy pumpkin?" he looks through the stencils with him, "Or do you want a scary pumpkin? We could also make a sad one-"</p><p>"I want a happy pumpkin-" Dean says somberly and Castiel agrees. </p><p>Dean watches Castiel use a big knife to carve out the top of the pumpkin and he says, "This is the fun part-" before reaching inside to scoop out a bunch of guts and seeds with his bare hand. "Wanna try?"</p><p>Dean nods, sticking his hand into the big pumpkin. "Eww!" he yelps, "Gross!" his hand comes out of the pumpkin covered in all that messy goop. "Yuck-" Dean shakes his hand roughly to get it off and accidentally flicks a lot of the mess onto Castiel.</p><p>"Dean!" Castiel laughs and keeps his eyes closed as he searches for paper towels. The boy had been laughing hysterically the whole time he was cleaning himself up, "This is not funny-" he glares at the boy who won't shut up. He had to admit that the sound of his laughter was adorable- Dean sounded so free and happy in this moment. Castiel flicks pumpkin guts at Dean who stares at him with his mouth wide open.</p><p>"Eww!" he squeals and reaches inside the large pumpkin for more guts to throw at the older man.</p><p>Soon it turns into an all out war and pumpkin guts and seeds were being flung everywhere. They hadn't noticed the mess until the front door slams shut and it has Dean saying <em>Uh Oh..</em></p><p>Castiel knows John is going to be pissed so he pushes the boy behind himself, using his body as a shield in case his father decides to go crazy on them. Luckily the mechanic went straight to his room to pass out because he'd been drunk. He sighs audibly into the messy kitchen and moves to sit down, instructing the boy to do the same. </p><p>"Dad would be mad if he saw-" Dean states as he helps Castiel carve his baby pumpkin now. </p><p>"I'll get the kitchen cleaned up before I go to bed-" he smiles down at the boy. "There-" he lets Dean see his pumpkin. "He's happy."</p><p>"Like me-" Dean smiles shyly up at him. "I'm happy." </p><p>Castiel's heart literally wants to melt into a puddle of something sweet in his chest because the boy is just so cute. When he's done with his, he turns it over to show Dean. "He's happy too-" </p><p>Dean stayed up to help him clean up the mess in the kitchen against his wishes, but it was a good thing since they were done cleaning in half the time.</p><p>Soon Dean's being guided to the bathroom to take a shower since he somehow had gotten sticky from head to toe during their pumpkin carving adventure. Castiel takes a shower afterwards and when he's done, he guides Dean to his room to tuck him in. </p><p>"Have fun today?" Castiel asks, pulling up the blanket over the boys body. </p><p>Dean nods, "Yea-" and he's yawning loudly in the silent room. "Goodnight Castiel-" his eyes shut.</p><p>"Goodnight-" Castiel runs the back of his fingers over his soft cheek before turning out the lights and closing the door behind him. </p><p>Castiel takes the two freshly carved pumpkins out to the front porch before going to bed. Dean's baby pumpkin and Castiel's large pumpkin were now on the porch steps, side by side so the whole neighborhood could see them and they were both <em>happy.</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Boo!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel was sitting on the porch and enjoying his iced coffee late in the afternoon. Since moving in with John, he's decided that this was one of the biggest perks to being in a house rather than apartment. At his apartment, all he had was a balcony but there hadn't been much room for a chair to sit on. His eyes close as he relaxes against the old lawn chair, the sunlight hits his face and he was surely getting a nice tan.</p><p>It was the first warm day in all of October and he wasn't going to let it go to waste.</p><p>His eyes fly open when a car door slams shut, It was Dean getting dropped off by what he assumes is Sam and his mother. Dean runs up to him eagerly with his backpack bouncing heavily up and down on his back.</p><p>Dean speaks up shyly by saying, "Halloween is this week-" which makes Castiel laugh as he sips on his drink.</p><p>The neighbors that were out walking their dogs for the first time in weeks due to the weather probably had the impression by now that he was some kind of kept boy by the looks of him. Shirtless in his khaki shorts, tanned skin and drinking iced coffee on a Monday afternoon while his mechanic macho boyfriend was at work.</p><p>What no one sees is how hard he works at the hospital every day. Though now, his days have been cut back to four days a week and he was more than happy with that. It's the only reason he was sun bathing right then and there, on John's porch. It had become a habit on the days where the weather was nice and he couldn't care what his new neighbors thought about him.</p><p>"You wanna go trick or treating?" Castiel asks, he'll take the boy if he really wants to go. It's the least he can do to put a smile on his sweet face.</p><p>"Yes please-" Dean beams brighter than the sun behind him. "-free candy."</p><p>Castiel laughs, "Alright. Go inside and when I come in, we'll see about what kind of costume to get you-" and the boy surprises him by bending over and hugging him for a few seconds before running inside the house. </p><p>Castiel ends up staying out in the sun a little too long and he knew that because he wasn't feel too well that night. Dean's excitement about Halloween couldn't have gotten him this overwhelmed, It had to be his time in the sun because he couldn't possibly be annoyed with the boy. He'd been laying on the sofa for at least two hours with his eyes glued to the television but being in the air conditioning wasn't helping. </p><p>Dean had been sitting at the kitchen table with his homework stuff scattered in front of him and occasionally his green eyes would peek up at him every now and then. Although he didn't feel like talking about costumes right then, he couldn't resist his green eyes so Castiel calls him over.</p><p>"Dean, come here." </p><p>The boy comes over to him and he comes running, clearly way too excited to talk about his costume and lands right on top of the doctor who quickly lifts him off his body and shoves him away as kindly as possible- he wasn't expecting that much of a close contact.</p><p>"Mind bringing me the bottle of Advil in the kitchen?" Castiel asks a bit breathlessly and mentally prepared himself for any future mishaps. Kids were so out of his league, In more ways than he could ever think of and was learning something new everyday.</p><p>"Does something hurt?" Dean asks, handing the bottle over when he returns.</p><p>"I got a sun burn-" he says, knocking the pill back with the last bit of his coffee. "So-" he smiles. "What are we thinking in terms of costumes?"</p><p>Dean sits next to him, "I want to be a vampire or a zombie-"</p><p>Castiel thinks about it for a few seconds, "How about a vampire? Being a zombie is gross- all that blood and guts." and he shudders dramatically.</p><p>Dean's nose scrunched up, "I'll be vampire-"</p><p>Castiel nods with a laugh, "I'll pick you up from school tomorrow and we'll go to this new costume shop I see every day on my way to work. I think they'll have something for you."</p><p>"I hope dad lets me go get candy this year-"</p><p>"Your dad is boring, trick or tricking is fun-" Castiel states and Dean agrees. John slams the front door and both Dean and Castiel part ways instantly with him running off to his room. "Hey you-" Castiel smiles at the tired but hungry mechanic.</p><p>The larger man looks over his way, "Where's dinner?"</p><p>Castiel sighs before getting up from the couch to make his way to the dimly lit kitchen, ignoring the tightness in his skin. He knows it's time to cut down on how long he sits out on the porch. "Wait-" John pulls him close, giving his neck soft kisses. "Not right now-" he pushes him away with a forced smile. "I have a sun burn-" he pulls out a frying pan so he can quickly whip up something for dinner.</p><p>When John sees him take out beef and a packet of corn tortillas, along with onions, tomato and lettuce from the fridge, he whistles. "Beef tacos tonight huh-" the doctor nods, drizzling oil on the sizzling pan. "You sure know what I like." They eat in comfortable silence, aside from Johns occasional crude comment about something that happened at work. "Dean!" he roars eventually, when there's only enough beef for one last taco for his son. "Here-" he makes the taco in a hurry before handing it to the small boy when he eventually appears before them. "Take this to your room and eat it."</p><p>Dean looks down at it sadly, he was starving. "Thanks dad-" he gives Castiel a look before going back to his room.</p><p>"He should really be eating more than that-" Castiel mentions, his own guilt bubbling to the surface since he'd had four tacos himself while John had six.</p><p>John wipes his hands off on his work pants now that's done eating, "I don't think so-" he stands. "-kid's got baby fat on em', if he doesn't lose it no girl is gonna wanna go out with him."</p><p>"He's eleven-" Castiel defends the boy, eyes cast upwards at the taller man from where he still sat at the table.</p><p>"Shut up-" John grabs him by the chin, "-he's my son, not yours. Got that?" he lets go when the younger man nods. "Goodnight." he spits out before going to the bedroom to sleep. </p><p>Castiel waits a long while before cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, deciding that Dean really should eat more so he makes him a sandwich paired with his favorite chips. He opens the boys bedroom door slowly, switching on the light. Dean was still awake, in bed. "Hey, you up for a sandwich?" the boy nods somberly and sits up, taking the plate of food. Against his better judgement he sits down on the edge of the twin bed, watching him eat.</p><p>"Are we still going to get my costume?" Dean asks quietly when he's halfway through his meal.</p><p>"Of course we are." Castiel smiles, patting the top of the boys head in some sort of comfort. Dean closes his eyes, enjoying the gesture and he knew that look all to well- the boy was as touch starved as he was. "I'll pick you up after school." he smiles once more before taking the now empty plate back to the kitchen.</p><p>The next day after work, Castiel drives to Dean's school to pick him up so they can find him a costume but the boy never exits the school and he wasn't waiting out front for his bus either. After waiting for almost an hour in his car, he goes to the house thinking maybe John had picked him up early because he got sick or something.</p><p>When he gets to the house he lets himself in with his key, and he knew John wasn't home because the impala wasn't parked out front. "Dean?" he calls out. There was no response so he goes to the boys bedroom, opening the door and he was there, laying in bed. "Didn't you go to school?" </p><p>Dean shakes his head, wiping his face on his pillow. Castiel sighs heavily, "Come on-" and helps the boy of bed, thinking maybe he was just sick.</p><p>What he didn't know was that the kids father had given him a nasty spanking for not wanting to go to school that day. After the spanking Dean got to stay home like he had wanted because he wasn't in any condition to attend anyway, he'd been red faced and wouldn't stop crying.</p><p>"We'll go get you a happy meal too-" the boy nods, liking that idea and Castiel makes quick work of finding him some jeans and a shirt to wear, along with his sneakers. "Here, get dressed-"</p><p>Dean looks at the clothes dumbly for a moment before taking them and he pulls the jeans on first. He hadn't been wearing anything but his Batman underwear. When Dean is all dressed and ready to go, that's when he crouches down to feel his forehead. "You don't have a fever, you're not sick are you?" he shakes his head. "What's wrong?" he asks in a soft, caring voice. The boy more silent than usual.</p><p>He shrugs, hugging himself. Castiel looks at his watch, nearly six. "Let's get going-" his previous questions forgotten in the hustle to get out of the house before the costume place closes for the day. The car ride is silent on the way there and he doesn't suspect much since the boy wasn't a chatterbox on a good day anyway.</p><p>They walk into the costume shop with Castiel leading the way and the boy follows close behind him. The goth girl behind the counter says, "We close in thirty minutes so let me know if you need help with anything." with a polite smile.</p><p>Castiel guides him by the shoulders to the back of the shop, where the boys costumes were. His eyes are quickly scanning the costumes in a hurry, "Here we go-" he pulls one out from the rack of vampire costumes, this one was sized for boys who were 10 to 13 years old. "Let's go try this on-" Dean follows him to the dressing rooms and goes in by himself with the costume. In a few minutes Dean comes out and isn't happy yet. "You don't like it?" Castiel says, looking at his face.</p><p>"I like it-" Dean forces a smile. Castiel gives him a once over and since the costume fits perfectly, they end up buying it. "You're not getting one?" he asks once they're standing at the register.</p><p>"I'm a bit too old for dressing up-" he laughs, swiping his debit card and takes his receipt from the goth girl behind the counter. "Let's get that happy meal I promised you-" he smiles, guiding the boy back to the car.</p><p>Once at the fast food restaurant, Castiel orders while Dean takes a seat at a booth near the back. He looks over at the boy every now and then while he waits in line to order to make sure he doesn't run off somewhere. Just by the look on his serious little face, something was definitely wrong with him. If he wasn't sick, what other problem could he have? He's only eleven. Once he's ordered and has their food, he joins the boy at the booth.</p><p>"Dig in, ordered plenty-" he mentions, knowing full well this is probably the boys first meal of the day. </p><p>Dean takes a chicken nugget and bites into it somberly- more so than usual. Castiel tries his best not to pry or push him for information, that is until he's done with his burger and notices that the boy has barely even touched his happy meal-only having had two chicken nuggets and a few fries.</p><p>"Dean-" his voice is soft once again. "-whats the matter? You know you can talk to me, I'm your friend." the boy shrugs, looking like he might cry so he doesn't push further, at least not in public. "Let's get going, your fathers probably home by now. I'll buy you milkshake to take home, how's that sound?"</p><p>Dean smiles a bit at the mention of a sweet treat and he chose chocolate.</p><p>When they get to the house Castiel parks right next to the impala and he isn't exactly excited to see it in the driveway. This time though, he has a burger and fries for the guy since he does not feel like cooking for someone who doesn't appreciate the effort. They let themselves in to find John on the sofa, drinking a beer. </p><p>"Here's your dinner." Castiel sets the brown paper bag containing his meal on the coffee table in front of him and the man grabs his wrist to keep him there. "What are you doing?"</p><p>"Where were you?" John asks.</p><p>"I took Dean to get a Halloween costume-" the mechanic laughs and lets him go. "Did you know he wasn't in school today?" he shrugs and reaches for the bag on the table. Castiel bites his tongue once more and goes to check on the boy- he was in his room, looking at a bruise on his hip. "How'd you get that-" his voice is full of concern.</p><p>"Sam beat me up-" Dean lies, reaching for his milkshake that he had briefly set down on his small desk and he sits down to enjoy it. </p><p>Castiel buys it because why would he lie about things. "Tell Sam not to do that anymore-" he comes near the boy, who was now pulling out his workbook- most likely to start on the lessons he'd missed that day. He reaches for a stray pencil that had already been on the desk and hands it to him. "Dean, I want you to trust me-" and the boy simply nods and is already scribbling away on a page in his book.</p><p>Castiel leaves the bag that contains his costume on the bed before exiting his room without another word. He wanted to know what was bothering him but he shouldn't pry if he wants Dean to trust him, he'll wait until Dean comes to him on his own. If something was going on, he'll come to him eventually for him- or he'll go to his father.</p><p>After seeing that the mechanic was passed out on the couch, he goes to the bedroom to relish in the feeling of having the entire bed to himself. Castiel lets himself collapse in the center of the bed, arms and legs spread open- taking a deep breath of relaxation before falling asleep.</p><p>In the morning he makes an effort to get up extra early so he can help Dean get ready for school. Once the boy is showered, dressed and has his hair combed- he compliments him greatly. Dean Winchester was completely and utterly adorable with his neatly done hair and his outfit.</p><p>"You look so cute-" Castiel laughs, "You're sort of making me want to have a little boy of my own." and admires the eleven year old as they wait at the stop sign down the street for his bus.</p><p>"But then you won't have time for me anymore-" Dean smiles as he looks up at the older man, clearly in better spirits today. </p><p>"Don't say that-" Castiel squeezes his shoulders since he's standing behind him. "-you're my best buddy." the boy blushes, looking down at his sneakers before the bus pulls up and he watches lovingly as he runs up the bus steps.</p><p>While he was getting the boy ready for school they had talked about their plans for that night and what time they would get started on their search for free candy. Just talking about it made Dean happy, it had probably been awhile since he'd gone trick or treating. <em>If ever.. </em>Castiel didn't want to pry or humiliate the kid by asking if his father has ever taken him trick or treating. From the vibe he was getting, they didn't celebrate any holidays and it wasn't for religious reasons- his guess was that John just didn't care to give his son any good memories.</p><p>Castiel is almost finishing up at the hospital for the day when his friend Meg comes u[ behind him, "Boo!" and tries to scare him.</p><p>"Meg-" he looks over his shoulder at her, not at all surprised. </p><p>Meg sits down next to him, "Happy Halloween, handsome."  and gives him a sloppy kiss right on his cheek and he didn't mind one bit. Castiel was very close with the nurse since they'd been working side by side at this hospital for years. Even before working together, they had attended college together and had even been roommates for a few years.</p><p>"Happy Halloween-" Castiel kisses her cheek as well and his eyes quickly refocus on his computer screen, he'd been finishing up some notes before he left for the day. "Any plans?" he asks her, logging out of his computer since he was basically done anyway. After all, he had a certain little boy he had to fulfill a promise to.</p><p>She sighs heavily, "Just got in, so no." and logs into hers.</p><p>"And it's a full moon-" Castiel smiles at her, "-get ready for all the whack jobs tonight."</p><p>"Don't remind me, I have my work cut out for me already-" She laughs. "What are your plans?"</p><p>Castiel hesitates before answering, "You know that drunk guy-" she quickly glares at him, of course she remembers since the guy had nearly knocked her off her feet while she drew his blood. "-yeah that guy. I'm sorta dating him-" the nurse blinks in surprise, she hadn't expected that to come out of his mouth. "Well, I'm living with him." he says nervously.</p><p>"No!" She squeals, "That guy is horrible!"</p><p>Castiel laughs, nodding. "But he sure is hot." she nods, her acrylic nails clicking on the keyboard as she types now. "I'm taking his son trick or treating-"</p><p>"Why can't he take him?" her tone is cautious and for the right reasons.</p><p>"Because he asked me-" Castiel sighs before he stands up and packs his things away into his bag. "Besides, I want to. He's a cute kid-" the nurse nods, smiling warily up at him. "Don't look at me like that-" he shakes his head before kissing her goodbye on the forehead.</p><p>On the way home he stops by Starbucks for his usual iced coffee and he was going to need it because he had to get Dean ready and take him out to get candy even though he was beyond exhausted. "Dean!" he shouts casually as he steps through the front door, "I'm home!" </p><p>The boy runs up to him almost instantly, clearly excited and his costume was in his hand. Castiel smiles warmly, seeing that face always made his heart melt. He helps the boy into his costume and uses the black eyeliner pencil that came along with it, lining the boys eyes. "Cute." he smiles, now moving on to using the red lip crayon that came with the costume was well. He filled in the boys lips with red color, then gave him the set of white fangs so he could put them in his mouth himself.</p><p>Dean couldn't stop laughing once the fangs were in his mouth, "Hm-hm-hm-" he giggles. </p><p>Castiel smiles down at him, trying not to laugh himself. The boy looked adorable. "Let's get going-" he looks at the watch on his wrist. "-gonna take you to my old neighborhood, the people there should be giving out some really good candy." Once they're in the car and Dean is buckled in he reaches into the back seat, pulling out a pumpkin shaped bucket for him to use. "Got you this today."</p><p>The boy smiles and holds it onto his lap until they reach Castiel's old neighborhood. "Here we are, hold on." he gets out and opens the door for the boy. Dean does something Castiel wasn't expecting at all, he holds onto his hand. It makes his heart swell up with love and instantly he wishes he had a child of his own to look after.</p><p>"Costume turned out great-" he says casually as they walk up to the first house. Plenty of kids had already been out and about trick or treating. "Go ahead-" he gestures towards the large house up the driveway, and he waits by that persons mailbox.</p><p>Dean walks up the driveway by himself, pumpkin bucket in hand. "Trick or treat." he says, and he sounds so cute saying it. Castiel covers his mouth, trying not to laugh at the adorableness. After he got what looked like to be an entire goody bag full of candy, Dean runs back to him as quick as he can. They hold hands yet again as they walk to the next house. Dean goes up to every single home on his own while Castiel waits for him at the end of each driveway.</p><p>The sun has set and it casts a creepy shadow over the neighborhood which makes Dean nervous so he walks closely next to Castiel. "Your bucket is full, should we call it a night?" he asks and Dean nods in agreement. Once they're back in Castiel's car, Dean is too excited and is looking through all the candy he got. "Wow, that's a lot of candy-" he laughs.</p><p>"I never got this much before!" Dean says happily, unwrapping a chocolate bar. </p><p>"Wait-" Castiel takes the bar and inspects it quickly before handing it back. "-you need to let me check all your candy when we get home. You won't believe this but people put needles in candy, all kinds of things." Dean makes a face and bites into his chocolate. "Even razor blades-"</p><p>When they arrive at the home they come to find out that John wasn't there yet as usual. Better for them, he thinks. They're watching some kid friendly Halloween movie marathon on television while he sorts through all the candy to make sure that it's safe to eat. "All clear." Castiel hands him the pumpkin filled bucket of candy. "Don't have too much, I'm about to order a pizza for dinner." </p><p>As he makes the order by phone, Dean gets up and goes to his bedroom to hide his bucket of candy under his bed. When he doesn't come back Castiel goes to look for him, finding him in the bathroom with the door wide open, he'd been trying to wash off the eyeliner and lipstick from his face.</p><p>"Let me help you with that-" he runs a washcloth under warm water and rubs away the makeup gently. "Squeaky clean-" his eyes are admiring the freckles scattered all over his the sweet face when a knock on the door snaps him out of it, "That's the pizza." and goes to answer the door and pay the delivery guy.</p><p>Dean's waiting for him in the living room, he could tell the boy was starving- as soon as he flipped the pizza box open, he grabs a slice. "Mmmm-" he moans, taking his first bite. "-we don't have pizza that much." he confesses to the older man.</p><p>"Well I love pizza, so I eat it at least once a week." he grabs himself one of the bigger slices, Dean laughs. "Mmm-" he moans as he takes a bite as well. Soon enough the pizza is nearly gone, except for two slices. They relax into the sofa, sighing in relief now that their bellies are beyond full. "Have fun today?" he asks after a while.</p><p>Dean nods, hand on his little bulging tummy. "Yea." he says quietly. Castiel notices it peeking out from under his shirt and it makes him laugh, every day he spends with the boy it makes him warm up to the idea of kids though he knows being with a man, he won't have the chance. </p><p>"Do you mind me being here?" Castiel asks after another while. "I know you were mad when I moved in-"</p><p>Dean shrugs, stealing the remote from Castiel now that the movie was over. "Because I can't walk around in my underwear anymore-" he admits and it makes the older man laugh once more. "-clothes are itchy."</p><p>"I hear you-" Castiel covers his mouth, hiding his grin because the boy was just too damn funny. "I slept naked in my apartment, obviously I can't do that here-" he looks over at the boy and doesn't know why he made such a blunt confession. </p><p>"Dad would get mad if I slept naked-" he shrugs, flipping through the channels. After not being able to find anything entertaining on television, Dean sighs dramatically in boredom.</p><p>Castiel swallows, feeling flushed though he doesn't know why since the air conditioning in the house worked a whole lot better than the heat did. They end up watching rerun Halloween episodes of Scooby Doo and Sabrina The Teenage Witch for a few hours, at least until midnight. Castiel wipes the sweat away from his forehead and sighs heavily. </p><p>Dean looks over at him, "Castiel-" he says his name in the most innocent voice. "-are you okay?"</p><p>Castiel blinks, looking over at the boy. "Yeah, I'm fine-" but he wasn't fine, he was feeling something. Something he shouldn't be feeling for an eleven year old boy. That boys father chose that moment to come home, the front door slams shut behind him. He noticed the bulge in his pants and quickly scrambled passed the mechanic and out the front door. </p><p>John blinks in confusion before peeking into the living room. "Where'd he go?" Dean pouts, shrugging his shoulders. "And what did I say about staying up late, go to bed-" </p><p>The boy quickly gets up and walks down the hall, knowing his father is following him to his bedroom. He can <em>feel </em>his dark presence behind him.</p><p>"No-" Dean says quietly, John ignores it and gets into his little twin bed alongside him. It creaks as it settles against the added weight. John holds onto him tightly, kissing his forehead- his kisses go lower and lower, all the way to his collar bone. It's just kisses, it's just touching- but he didn't like it. "Dad-" he complains. </p><p>"Shh-" John murmurs against his baby soft skin, his large hands were grabbing and rubbing at the boys thighs roughly over his pajamas. Dean accidentally made one of the most beautiful noises he's ever heard and that urges him on, his hand slips into his pajamas and he was now groping actual naked flesh for the first time. "So soft-" he kisses the boys salt tasting cheek. </p><p>Dean closes his eyes, scrunching up his nose at the sensation of his father touching him so roughly. He really didn't like being grabbed this way, though he didn't know this was wrong so he never told anyone. Not a teacher, not Sam and definitely not Castiel. Now with his mother gone, his fathers evening cuddles had become a lot more hands on and more frequent. "Mom-" he whines.</p><p>"She's not here-" John pulls up the boy's pajamas and kisses him goodnight. "Close your eyes and sleep-" Dean doesn't close them just yet and he adds, "-am I gonna have you to give you cold medicine again?" he shakes his head and closes his eyes at once.</p><p>John leaves and goes to his own bedroom, the one he now shares with Castiel. He peels off his work uniform and gets under the covers naked, alone and has no clue where the doctor had run off to but he's not too worried about him or he would have called his cell to find out. </p><p>Castiel drives around town mindlessly for almost two hours before heading back to the house. He hates himself for feeling something he shouldn't be feeling and he's decided to move out and break up with John Winchester. He is not sick, and he is not a pervert so he has to leave them both before anything happens- not that it ever would. Castiel cares about Dean Winchester way to much to hurt him in any kind of way. It's safer if he just packs up his things and goes.</p><p>He enters the home as quietly as he can, while he makes his way through the home he noticed the boy sitting at the kitchen table eating candy but he didn't stop to say anything to him. He couldn't, not after getting hard in his pants over the boys confession.</p><p>When Castiel gets into bed with John after an extremely cold shower, he's still hard in his boxers and is letting himself assume that maybe his reaction had nothing to do with the boy. Maybe he really just wanted to have sex, it had been a while- so he does something he hasn't done in a hot minute- he begins to kiss the sleeping mans neck in order to wake him up. </p><p>"Mmm-" John growls, roaring to life like a bear that had been in a deep sleep. "-guess I could fuck you, you've been good to me."</p><p>Castiel ignores the comment, his hand pushing the mans boxers down in a hurry. "I need you-" he breathes harshly as he gets manhandled down on his stomach.  John reaches into night stand for the lube, and the rest is history.</p><p>In the morning he carefully limps his way into the kitchen with no sight of the boy anywhere and was instantly relieved to find that the boy had gone to school today. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Hit me, Bitch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>John had agreed to take them out on a fun day together, as a family, even if they weren't technically a family. Castiel had expressed concern over the fact that Dean rarely left the house aside from school or hanging out with what seemed to be his only friend, Sam. John tried to put it off and ignore him but when the doctor threatened him with a break up he quickly changed his tune. </p><p>They're standing in line at the movies, waiting to buy some snacks. "Can I have nachos-" Dean asks quietly, standing close to Castiel while his father was standing a few feet away from them both. He wasn't much for family outings of any kind, or dates. </p><p>Castiel looks at the menu above them, "-think I may want some nachos too. John?" the mechanic nods, waving him off. After they've got their food, Castiel pays and leads the way, carefully guiding the eleven year old to a seat. Dean is on one side, John is on the other-leaving him in the middle. "Careful, they're hot." he warns.</p><p>Dean blows on each nacho before eating it. John was clearly embarrassed to be seen with another dude and his <em>pretty </em>son. "Gonna take a leak-" he says before getting up.</p><p>Castiel sighs, knowing the guy is just running out the clock before they can go back home but he was promised that they would take Dean to the park after the movie and he's not going to let him forget. <em>Or else.</em>  Dean's laughter throughout the movie is like music to his ears, he loves the sound of a happy child enjoying himself. After the movie, John goes to the bathroom yet again. </p><p>Dean gently tugs on the sleeve of his jacket, looking up at him while they wait outside the men's restroom. "I need a poster board and markers for my Science project-" </p><p>"Sure, no problem." he smiles down at him. "John-" and glares at the man after he joins them a good few minutes later, wiping his wet hands on his jeans to dry them off. The guy was doing anything he could so he wouldn't be seen with them. Maybe it's a good thing Mary left, or she'd still be putting up all of this. Luckily he was strong enough to handle it and he would, for the boys sake.</p><p>They head down to the park by Dean's school, luckily it was relatively empty except for one kid and his mother, but they were far enough away. They sit down at a table, enjoying their ice creams that they'd gotten on the way and Dean finishes his first so he goes to play on the swings by himself. </p><p>"You happy?" John asks, forcing himself to enjoy the day. Or at least pretend to enjoy it. Castiel nods, lapping at his ice cream cone with the flat of his tongue- surprisingly no jokes were made at his expense. "Never did anything like this with Mary-" he admits, tossing his empty ice cream cup into the garbage next to their table. </p><p>"That's sad-" Castiel says in all honestly. "-you should have taken them out more often, they're great." a pang of guilt hits him since he was basically a homewrecker and he doesn't say anything further. John slides over on the bench that was connected to the table.</p><p>"I love you." John says surely, taking his hand and holding it in his own. Of course he didn't mean it but he had to be a good boyfriend or Castiel would leave and he didn't want that because this man was his golden goose. </p><p>Castiel blinks in surprise, tilting his head to the side in wonder. "You love me?" he doesn't buy it, but the fact that the man is holding his hand in public- in broad daylight is convincing him that it might just be true, though John's only doing it because there's currently no one else at the park. He nods and Castiel wants to say it back, though what he feels for the man does feel a lot like love- it's mostly lust, mixed with extreme loneliness and insecurity. "I love-" he can't finish his sentence because the man kisses him. </p><p>"You mean the world to me-" John states and it sounds like he's reading off some <em>How To Be The Perfect Boyfriend</em> instruction manual. Castiel smiles, going red in the ears before he jogs up to the mans son so he can push him on the swings. Dean had seen them kiss a few times, but he didn't really understand what was going on- and if he did, he didn't dare ask his father what this man was to him. Maybe he's just assuming that all adults kiss each other on the lips when they want to.</p><p>John watches his son play with the doctor until the sun starts to go down and the chill in the air makes him shiver. "Let's go!" he yells at the duo over on the playground.</p><p>As he watched them play, he imagined how things would be different if Castiel had been a woman- if that were the case, John might have meant the things he said. He gets up and walks over to his car, already knowing that Castiel and Dean won't make him wait too long. Johns fully aware of how scary he can be.</p><p>It was the first day of November and dried leaves were everywhere. Even on the mechanics precious impala, often getting stuck between the windshield wipers and underneath the hood.</p><p>As soon as they get to the house, John drops them off and he heads over to the bar around the corner on foot. He didn't care that Castiel was about to start on dinner, instead he'd rather have a drink to wash down the weird tasting movie theatre nachos and ice cream he hadn't quite wanted to indulge in.</p><p>Castiel gets the front door unlocked with his key, "Don't worry about your dad, you have fun with just me right?" the boy nods, with a sweet smile. "Have a seat, I'll make us something."</p><p>Castiel made pasta and a few slices of garlic bread since it was just them for the night. "Good?" he asks the boy, who nods happily. "Pasta is one of my favorite things to eat-" </p><p>"I like macaroni-" Dean blows onto the pasta on his spoon. "-but this is good." </p><p>When Castiel is done eating he looks at his watch, it was getting late and he was starting to worry. "He should be getting back-" </p><p>"He's always out late-" Dean comments, getting up from the table and taking his soda with him to the living room. Castiel gets up from the table as well, picking up their dishes and gets started on washing them. That's when the front door slams shut.</p><p>"John?-" he calls out, drying off his hands on a dish towel. The man sees that there's no dinner waiting for him and he loses his mind- Castiel knew instantly that he must have been on something, his blown out pupils told him so and his eyes quickly glance over at the boy standing by the doorway, watching them. "John-" his voice trembles, he's actually afraid of his boyfriend right now. </p><p>John starts screaming about something, he can't quite make it out- but Dean crying in the doorway is something he can't stand. The boys father was standing way to close to him in his rage and his only concern was getting him out of the way. "Dean-" his eyes look over in the direction of the hallway that leads to his bedroom and he prays that he takes the hint. <em>Go to your room.. </em>blue eyes look in the direction he wants him to go.</p><p>"You care about my stupid son more than me!" John roars before lunging over to the boy- Castiel gets there in time to block his attack. Dean ran off to his room just in time so he hadn't seen when his father hit his <em>friend</em>. The door closed loudly and it locked.<em> Good boy..</em> That makes things worse and he ends up getting hit once again, he falls backwards onto the floor. "Hit me back, bitch!" John yells in his drunk haze.</p><p>"John-" Castiel winces in pain because the guy had hit him in the ribs. He didn't know how it happened exactly, just that suddenly he was in pain and on the floor. </p><p>When John is momentarily distracted by a noise outside the home, Castiel manages to get up and run to the bedroom they now shared, locking the door in the mans face-John almost got him. Castiel grabs the house phone and calls the police.</p><p>When the operator answers he's still shaking, "I-I need help." she asks what his emergency is. "My boyfriend-" he's panting. "-he's trying to hurt us-" she asks who else is the home. "-his son, Dean. He's only eleven-" and that's all she needs to know before sending help.</p><p>After hanging up with the operator, he waits a while before he knocks on Dean's door, John must have calmed down by now because he hadn't heard anything in a few minutes. "Dean, we need to go outside-" and the poor boy is confused, not knowing what was happening. He had no idea that his father had hit Castiel. <em>Again.</em></p><p>They walk down the hallway and see John sitting on the couch, glaring at them hatefully. He knew Castiel had called the police and was forcing himself to calm down so that by the time they got there- he could do his thing and sweet talk them all into forgiving him.</p><p>Dean and Castiel wait by the mailbox at the end of the driveway, he's holding the boy in his arms to help keep him calm. "What happened-" Dean asks him eventually.</p><p>Castiel wipes the tear that rolled down his face, "He drank too much, that's all-" he answers, because it's easier to explain than telling the poor boy that his father was on drugs.</p><p>When the police show up they take his statement, while John stands on the porch with his arms crossed at his chest. They didn't seem to take him seriously or care all that much about what happened until Castiel lifted up his shirt to show them the nasty bruise that was forming on the right side of his body.</p><p>Dean just watches all the adults exchange words before his father is being handcuffed and guided down the driveway and into a patrol car. "Where is he going-"</p><p>"Don't worry about it-" Castiel kisses his forehead for the first time that night and he makes a mental note not to do it ever again since the boy wasn't actually his son. Yet he was already starting to care about the boy more than anything else, wanting only good things for him. </p><p>Castiel's asleep on the sofa with Dean in his arms when his phone rings. He carefully slides out from underneath the boy so he can grab his cell that was on the coffee table."Hello?" It was John and instantly he was profusely apologizing into the phone in a rush, most likely because he didn't have a whole lot of time to talk. Although he expected this phone call, doesn't mean he was mentally prepared for it.</p><p>"That's not going to work anymore." he stands his ground, his safety was a risk and so was Deans. "You could have really hurt me, you <em>did </em>hurt me-" he listens to the lies a while longer. "-you tried to hit him!" he shouts, accidentally waking the boy who was by his side on the sofa. "Sorry-" he whispers to the boy. "-I don't know anymore, you're scaring me." he admits and in a way he's trying to secretly break up with the guy. Though he doesn't want to leave Dean alone with this monster.</p><p>"Is that dad-" he asks, sitting up- his eyes blinking the sleepiness away.</p><p>Castiel nods and eventually saying, "I'll come get you tomorrow." into the phone when he's heard everything the man had to say to him. He feels completely defeated because he gave in again.</p><p>"What did he do-" Dean asks, clearly not understanding the situation at all. "Dad always drinks-"</p><p>Castiel stands up, "It's grown up stuff-" he says while guiding the boy to his room, to his bed. "Goodnight, dream with the angels-" he tucks him in tightly. Dean instantly closes his eyes, falling asleep as fast as a little puppy does. He admires the sleeping boy for a minute or two before calling it a night himself, and he goes to rest up for what tomorrow will bring. It's a horrible thought really, but he keeps thinking how much easier things would be if the boys father wasn't around.</p><p>The sunlight peeking through the wide open curtains is what wakes him up in the morning. Castiel gets out of bed with a frustrated groan, rushing over to get the boy ready for school and he complained of his stomach hurting while he handing him him clothes for the day. That he couldn't go to school because he was sick and he knew it was an excuse because he wanted to go with him to the station to pick up his father. After thinking about it for a minute, he agreed to let him tag along. </p><p>"Good, you're brushing your teeth-" Castiel says when he walks by the bathroom after getting dressed, "-your breath was starting to smell like dead things."</p><p>"Was not-" Dean defends himself, his mouth full of tooth paste. Once he's done in the bathroom Castiel rushes him into the car, without his backpack since they both knew he wouldn't be needing it today.</p><p>"You okay?" he asks once they're parked in front of the station a good twenty minutes later. Dean shrugs, because he doesn't know how feels. "Let's just go get him-" he sighs somberly because he's not the least bit excited to see him.</p><p>He's got no clue what he should expect right now or in the days to come- he's come to unfortunately find out that John is a wild card, angry and unpredictable, but what happened last night was something on a whole new level. Hopefully it won't be a recurring thing because it's completely unacceptable. After one abusive boyfriend, he's not about to have another one- not in this lifetime.</p><p>They enter the station nervously, both for different reasons and see him sitting out front on one of the chairs, completely <em>free</em>. "John." he says coldly.</p><p>John crouches down in front of his son, opening his arms so he could give him a hug and it surprised them both since he was not the hugging type, but Dean ran into his arms anyway. He almost felt betrayed by that, but the boy didn't know his father like he did. Unless he actually did, he didn't know for sure.</p><p>Dean tells his father, "I'm hungry-" and John looks up at Castiel, who nods in agreement since he's the one with the cash.</p><p>They go out as a family once again, for breakfast and the boy is just happy not to be in school on a Wednesday morning. "Mm-mm-mm-" Dean hums with his mouth full of food, he'd been playing a game on Castiel's smartphone which was a real treat since he could never do that on his dads old school flip phone.</p><p>For a while it did look like they were a happy little family of three. Dean completely forgot what happened the previous evening and Castiel almost did, at least he tried to forget because he didn't want to actually break up with the guy and move out, mostly because of his wonderful son.</p><p>"Hey, I'm going to need that back at some point-" he smiles. The pain in his ribs was getting worse, not better and he tried to forget that too. </p><p>Dean just sticks his tongue out at him, his chubby fingers swiping across the phones screen.</p><p>"M'sorry-" John says eventually and that's the first thing he's said since leaving the station. Castiel looks over at him, before refocusing on the boy. His cellphone rings, making quick work of stealing the phone back from small hands.</p><p>"We have to get you one of your own, in case of an emergency-" he winks, answering the phone call. "Hello-" there's a long pause. "-right, sorry about that. I had something come up and It slipped my mind completely. Please, have them reschedule me for tomorrow." there's another long pause in the conversation. "Sure thing, Bye."</p><p>Dean looks at him, "Was that the hospital-"</p><p>"Yes-" he smiles, "-here." and hands the phone back to the boy, who quickly grabs it so he can resume his game. </p><p>"You just gonna ignore me forever then?" John sips his coffee, they finished eating a while back. Castiel wanted Dean out of the house as much as possible, it was good for him- so he wasn't in any rush to leave the fast food restaurant. Though by experience, he knew John must be itching to go to the shop already and hide his head under the hood of someone else's car.</p><p>"No-" Castiel sighs, rubbing the stubble on his jaw. He can't remember the last time he had shaved, living with this man was taking a toll on him and it was a miracle he was even keeping himself together at work. After another few minutes he looks over at the boy, "Ready to go?"</p><p>Dean nods, keeping Castiel's phone as they left. It's not until they get to the house that he finally hands it back- they're sitting in the car, in the driveway when John gets out, saying he's going to the shop to do some work. They watch him get into the impala and it quickly comes to life, eventually driving off after warming up.</p><p>Castiel looks into the rear view mirror, making eye contact with the most beautiful green eyes. "I'm not working today, why don't we go shopping?"</p><p>Dean smiles, nodding in excitement. </p><p>While at the mall, they end up in a cell phone store. "Which one?" he asks the boy while they browse the large selection. "This one's pretty cool-" he picks one up, checking it's quality. Dean grabs the exact same phone the doctor had and hands it to him. "You want to match with me-" he smiles, shaking his head in awe.</p><p>"Yea-" Dean blushes. </p><p>"Your first cell phone." Castiel comments while swiping his debit card at the register. "I think I got my first cell phone at-" he pauses to think, "-think I was almost twenty five." Dean doesn't comment because if it wasn't for this mans generosity he probably wouldn't have gotten his own cell phone at only eleven years old. John sure as hell wouldn't have gotten him one. His father rarely bought him frivolous items, much less a phone.</p><p>"Thanks." Dean holds onto the shopping bag that contained his phone, he'd figure how to install games on it later. Castiel's guiding him into several stores, they aren't buying much, mostly browsing as a way to kill the afternoon. "Can we go in here?" he asks, looking into a store -<em>Spencers- </em>that had some pretty explicit looking things inside. </p><p>From what Castiel could see- there was a bong by the register and a few sex toys hanging up high on the wall.</p><p>"Yeah-" Castiel hurries the boy away from the display window. "-I don't think so." and they end up in a comic book store instead. Dean quickly goes to the back, instantly finding the Spider man and Bat man comics. "Right, you like Bat man-"</p><p>"Hell yes." Dean smiles, it's the least shy he's seen the boy yet. </p><p>"Go ahead and grab one, I'm buying." Castiel says, his hand resting on the boys shoulder. Dean looks up at him cautiously, not believing this man is going to buy him a comic after just forking over a little more than one hundred bucks for his new phone. "It's okay, my treat." He pays for the comic and they wander around aimlessly. Castiel checks his watch for the time, it was almost four in the afternoon. "Let's get you a cookie before we go-"</p><p>"This is the best day of my life." Dean smiles beautifully with his sharp little teeth poking out at the corners of his lips as he looks down at the large chocolate chip cookie that was so big he needed both hands in order to hold it. Castiel smiles fondly at him and they make the long walk to his car.</p><p>When they get home, the impala is there and they both gulp with out the other knowing because who knows what they would be talking into. Castiel instantly regret not getting John a big cookie as well.</p><p>They exit the vehicle and Castiel grabs all the shopping bags, "I'll give you your phone when I can- I don't want him to get mad." Dean nods. After letting themselves in, they don't see John in the living room or in the kitchen, so he must have been in the bedroom. "On second thought, go ahead and take this to your room." he winks at the boy, handing him the bag that held his new phone and his comic book. </p><p>Dean hesitates for a moment before giving Castiel a tight hug. He looks up, chin resting on the mans hard stomach. "Thanks." </p><p>"Sure-" Castiel doesn't hug back, just pats him on the head before he goes to his room. Although he doesn't feel like cooking, he gets started on dinner- something easy. He ends up making chicken burgers for three, along with fries. "Dean, John-" he calls out, "-dinner's ready." </p><p>Only Dean shows up to the kitchen, ready to eat though he doesn't eat much of his burger. "I'm full-" he says quietly after a couple bites.</p><p>Castiel smiles, knowing he had a pretty large cookie less than two hours ago. "That's alright-" he stands up, clearing the table and wraps Johns burger in foil for him to have when he pleases. "Why don't you go take a shower, you have school tomorrow." Dean nods before he goes to do what he's told- the kid was pretty compliant, never gave him any trouble at all. </p><p>After doing the dishes and the laundry and of course- making sure Dean went to bed on time, he was wiped out completely. He couldn't wait until he could go get his usual at Starbucks next morning before work because he was completely addicted to coffee and sugar, couldn't help it. While he was in the shower, John had found the burger in the kitchen and devoured it in a few large bites. </p><p>They meet in the bedroom and John seemed calm, just watching him towel dry his dark hair before laying in bed, over the covers. "Cas-" he says. "-M'sorry." he nods, eyes closing. He fully intends to fall asleep right now but his lover had other plans because his eyes fly open when he feels scratchy lips on his bare chest. </p><p>"John, not now-" he groans in agony. "-I'm tired." a large hand rubs over the bulge in his boxers anyway. "-I'm not in the mood-"</p><p>"Coulda' fooled me-" he says smugly, Castiel was hard but that's just basic human biology. He's being stimulated, of course he's hard. </p><p>"John." Castiel says angrily. "I said no."</p><p>That pisses him off and he's being forced to roll over, his face shoved into the pillow. "Stop-" his muffled plea is barely audible. John pulls down his boxers and rubs saliva against his hole, before pushing in without any prep- not caring to help him along. "Stop-" he begs again, struggling against he man holding him down but getting free was hard to do with his hands being held behind his back. </p><p>When a comfortable pace is established, Castiel begins to enjoy it and groans into the pillow with pleasure.</p><p>"Fuckin' slut-" John slams into his ass, over and over- rougher than he had the last time. "-you like gettin' raped, don't you slut?" </p><p>"Ugh-" Castiel groans against his will, the sweet spot inside of him was getting jabbed every time. "Mmmugh-" </p><p>"You gonna cum-" John goes even harder, showing no mercy. Castiel whimpers uncontrollably, nodding. "Go ahead and come, fuckin' slut-" and he does, he comes with a scream into the pillow and it's not long before he's crying loudly into it. "The fuck is wrong with you-" John pulls out of him in one quick motion, not being careful at all. "Can't even finish with all your blubbering. Shit-" </p><p>Castiel must have cried into his pillow for what felt like twenty minutes before falling asleep. Dean heard something going on in his fathers bedroom but he just assumed they were arguing again. People do argue after all, he'd witnessed his parents fighting all the time so he wasn't able to recognize red flags, much less alarm bells going off right in front of him. </p><p>John didn't come back to bed after what he did and he was grateful for that.</p><p>In the morning he takes another quick shower to wash away his shame, though it does nothing but cleanse his body on the outside. On the inside, that's where he was desperate to get clean, to wash away the remains of John Winchesters progressing abuse.</p><p>Dean was at the table eating cereal, and he ignored the boy-not on purpose, not because he was being mean-he just didn't want to talk to anyone. Castiel smiles weakly at him before walking slowly to his car. He does stop by Starbucks before going to the hospital, it was his prize for surviving another night with his boyfriend. Though the coffee does very little to lighten his spirits, it does ease the headache he'd woken up with.</p><p>Castiel's at the nurses station, typing up a few notes on his computer when Meg sits down next to him. "Cas." she says, seriously.</p><p>"Hmm-" he murmurs, eyes focused on the screen.</p><p>"What's wrong?" she places her manicured hand on his thigh and he flinches. "Seriously, what's wrong?"</p><p>Castiel breaks down in tears right then and covers his face. </p><p>"-let's go take a break." Meg suggests and Castiel nods, following her to the hospitals cafeteria. After sitting down, "Tell me what happened. Did that guy you're living with do something to upset you?"</p><p>Castiel hesitates, poking his jello with the plastic spoon. Meg thought some jello and whipped cream would help him cheer up but it didn't. "He-" she leans closer since the chattering of other doctors and staff was making it hard to hear him. "-I think he raped me." he looks up into her eyes.</p><p>"Excuse me?" her voice sounds hurt, as if her best friends pain was somehow her pain as well. "He <em>raped </em>you?" her voice cracks and she covers her mouth before her tears fall.</p><p>"Come on-" Castiel groans, pushing the bowl of jello away. "Please, stop crying." he whispers, handing her a napkin. "I didn't tell you to make you cry-"</p><p>She pats her eyes dry, "I told you that man was horrible-" and she comforts herself by eating the doctors jello in less than a minute. "Tell me you're leaving him-"</p><p>Castiel looks around anxiously, "I can't just leave-"</p><p>Meg leans closer, holding his hand on top of the cafeteria table. "I know it's hard to get out of an abusive relationship, but you have to get out-"</p><p>Castiel nods, knowing her history with an ex who had thrown her around like a rag doll. His name had been Crowley or Fergus something, couldn't remember the last name or if he even had one to begin with. The man was an awful salesman who was involved in multi level marketing- making more money by recruiting people into his scheme rather than actually selling anything- pure evil.</p><p>"Please, get out. He might-" she stops talking, shaking her head.</p><p>Castiel nods, "-I know."  before taking a deep breath and stands up because no matter what happened the night before, he still has a job to do. "I'll leave him, I promise."</p><p>When he goes home at the end of the day, he fully intends to go through with the promise he made his friend. Until he sees Dean asleep on the couch that is- the boy looked so sweet and innocent, just laying there, sleeping soundly. He couldn't possibly leave him alone with that <em>monster </em>that he calls dad.</p><p>After taking a seat on the couch, the boy whimpers in his sleep. "Shh, it's just me. Go back to sleep-"</p><p>His eyes fixate on the television and he thinks about how he's going to get through this because he's way in too deep, he's completely attached to Dean.</p><p>He can't leave John. He just <em>can't.</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. You Gotta Get Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following week after his confession regarding the abuse with his new boyfriend, Meg finds him sitting at his usual computer in the nurses station after their work schedules not lining up for a few days. Instantly she knew that something must be wrong when the doctor doesn't notice her presence the second she sits down beside him. Her mind quickly raced to dark places, thinking maybe John had done something else to her friend.</p><p>Castiel seems <em>off, </em>he's never off- it's a drastic change from his always cheerful ways.</p><p>Meg could always count on the doctor welcoming her to work with a bright smile that showed off his perfect teeth or a cup of coffee waiting next to the keyboard of her usual computer. If she was lucky, maybe some flowers would be given to her on a special today but today wasn't one of those but she did expect to see his smile. The smile that let her know if he was okay or not, it was his thing.</p><p>The only other time that the doctors smile failed to greet her was the last day he got to see his daughter before she seemed to vanish off the face of the earth.</p><p>"Cas-" Megs voice is soft, concerned.</p><p>"Yeah?" Castiel looks over at her, giving her one of his looks- that head tilt, squinty look- to be exact.</p><p>"Did you leave him?" </p><p>Castiel admits with a hard "No, I didn't." and that visibly upsets her. "I just- I can't leave him." he says, typing quickly on the keyboard so he can finish up his notes because he doesn't wan't to talk about this. </p><p>"I know what you're going through." Meg says, logging into her computer beside his. "I know it's hard to leave-"</p><p>The doctor snorts, "You have no idea what I'm going through-" and logs off his computer before quickly standing up from his chair.</p><p>"Cas-" she warns with her tone, big brown eyes looking up at him. "-don't be mean to me, I'm your best friend." </p><p>"Right." Castiel nods, sitting back down and it's just for a moment because he's got surgery in ten minutes. "I feel bad for his son, Dean- he's such a great kid. I can't leave him alone-"</p><p>"I understand." Meg smiles, "Maybeee-if I saw a picture of the little bugger, I would understand even more."</p><p>Castiel laughs as he pulls out his phone, "We were at the park here-" and shows the nurse the screen. In the photo Dean had been standing and he was behind the boy, crouching down- looking like father and son. </p><p>"Oh my god-" She coos, "-he's so cute!" and steals his phone to get a better look. "His eyes are so green-"</p><p>"Right-" he smiles fondly and takes his phone back from her, pocketing the device in his coat but not before admiring the young boy for a quick second. "-you know I don't get to see Claire." he says the fact sadly, and she nods because she knows all about Claire- the daughter he hadn't seen in well over a decade. "I'm never going to have any more kids. He's the closest I'm ever going to get-"</p><p>Meg wraps an arm around the handsome doctor, "We could always have a baby together. You know we'd make a beautiful baby-"</p><p>"Let's call that plan B, okay-" Castiel kisses her cheek before getting up from his chair once again. "Love you, princess."</p><p>"You too, Clarence." the nurse says with a weary sigh as her acrylic fingernails continuously press on they keyboards keys loudly.</p><p>Castiel walks away from the nurses station, shaking his head, because no-it's not a <em>wonderful</em> life and he's no <em>angel.</em></p><p>After work he stops by Starbucks once again for his iced coffee, though today called for decaf since he was already feeling overly stimulated. Luckily he'd gotten through three surgeries without a problem and contemplated only once that day why he chose to pursue such a delicate branch of medicine.</p><p>"I'm home-" his deep voice calls out to no one in particular as he walks through the front door of the house, dropping his bag on the floor. Walking through the door every time was dreadful because his relationship with John was strained at best. "Hello-" he walks around the dark home, checking every room.</p><p>A horrible feeling is boiling in his gut, "John? Dean?" The floorboards creak behind him, dropping his coffee on the floor almost instantly and almost has a heart attach when he sees the boy approaching him in the darkness. "Damn it, Dean-"  </p><p>"Sorry-" the soft voice apologizes, "-he's not here."</p><p>Castiel quickly grabs a dish towel from the kitchen and begins to clean up the mess. Oddly enough, he's extremely disappointed that he'd just blown five bucks on a coffee that ended up on the floor. "It's okay-" he sighs, wringing out the towel in the sink after he managed to soak up the mess. "Is he down the street?" and he means the bar around the corner, the mechanics usual hang out spot- most likely because it was within walking distance.</p><p>"He's always there." Dean states with tears in his eyes, knowing how much the man loves his coffee- It was the doctors lifeline. </p><p>"Did you eat yet?" he asks with a short glance over his shoulder and what a stupid question it was to ask because of course he hadn't eaten. "I'll order a pizza." </p><p>They're sitting down at the table eating their pizza when Dean says, "I'm the pizza man-" in a funny voice that was supposed to resemble a monster, and he'd only made that comment after accidentally getting tomato sauce all over his face.</p><p>The tension from earlier had resolved itself and they'd resumed normal conversation since then. Castiel laughs, "I suppose you are the pizza man." </p><p>"And you're the babysitter, cause you babysit me-" Dean laughs, if he wasn't so young Castiel would assume the boy was completely shit faced because he's never seen him act like this before and it concerns him.</p><p>"You okay?" he feels the boys forehead, then his cheek which were both really warm. "You're burning up-" </p><p>Dean drops his pizza slice on his paper plate, "My stomach hurts-" and makes a run for the bathroom.</p><p>Castiel waits outside the door before eventually knocking on it when the boy has taken over half an hour in there. "Dean?" he opens the door, peeking inside. "Are you okay?"</p><p>"I had to poop-" the boy is sitting on the toilet, small hands covering his privates with his pants and underwear around his ankles.</p><p>Castiel closes the door with a chuckle because Kids are so unpredictable, you never know what's going to happen when they're around. When the boy emerges from the bathroom much later he feels his forehead once again to find that his temperature was completely normal again. </p><p>"I was hot-" Dean looks at his bare feet. "-I was holding it a long time."</p><p>"You shouldn't do that." Castiel says casually, "Your stomach will explode."</p><p>"No it won't!" Dean yells, then worries his bottom lip when the older man's facade doesn't falter. "Will it?" his eyes search him for honesty.</p><p>He shrugs, "You don't have to believe me, I'm just a doctor after all-" and smiles wickedly. He loved messing around with him since the boy was too gullible. "I'm kidding, you're fine-"</p><p>Dean nods dumbly before going to his room for bed. "Not hungry anymore-" he states when asked about finishing his dinner. Now he's laying in bed, above the covers with his new cell phone in his hands. </p><p>"I'll let you relax-" Castiels smiles, turning off the bedroom light on his way out of the room. "Goodnight-" </p><p>The boys warm skin had been an indicator that something had been wrong and he knew that when he was being awakened by his screams in the middle of the night. Castiel opens his eyes to the sound, not knowing how long Dean had been calling for them. He rolls over, "John wake up. Dean's crying-" of course the man doesn't budge so he goes alone to find out whats going on.</p><p>He flips the light on in Dean's room, "What's wrong?" his voice is sleepy but empathetic, not at all annoyed that he'd been woken up from much needed sleep.</p><p>"My stomach hurts-" he complains, a small hand resting on his tummy.</p><p>Castiel rushes over to lift the boys shirt in fear that maybe his appendix had burst because his mind goes to dark places right away. After all he'd seen plenty of kids come into the ER with this complaint many times before. His expert fingers press gently over several areas in his abdomen before the boy whimpers loudly. "I think I should take you to the hospital-"</p><p>Dean rubs the dried tears from his eyes, "I don't want-"</p><p>"Do you want to be pain all night?" he shakes his head. "We won't be there too long, I promise." and lifts the boy into his arms, taking him out to he car without even bothering to tell John anything. Not that the man would care anyways, even though he really should- the boy is his son.</p><p>Unfortunately Meg wasn't working that night, so he couldn't get the hook up and had to wait just like everyone else until another friend of his spotted him in the waiting area and quickly rushed him inside into one of the ER rooms.</p><p>"He's just going to take a look at you." Castiel reassures the boy who looked extremely nervous after being lifted up onto the small hospital bed by the male nurse. "I think it might be his appendix-" he mentions. They quickly poke his his finger for some blood which he handles like a total champ. Next comes the ultrasound, the same nurse wheeled in the machine and it scares him terribly.</p><p>"It's just so we can see inside your tummy-" the nurse says. Dean nods, laying back like he was told to do and holds onto Castiel's hand for dear life. </p><p>"Ah-" Dean whimpers because it was extremely cold when the foreign device touched his skin. When it's over he quickly relaxes and they eventually come to find out that everything was normal. His gall bladder had been a little inflamed and was advised to eat less junk- that was about it, nothing more sinister was going on.</p><p> Castiel sighs heavily, "You scared me-" and helps the boy climb down from the hospital bed. This experience has made him somewhat grateful that he didn't have to take care of his own flesh and blood because he'd lose his mind with worry every single damn day of his life.</p><p>Dean asks, "I'm okay?" in a soft voice.</p><p>"Yes, you're okay." Castiel laughs softly, "But we need to get some real food in that belly. We can't live off of pizza and chips-" and pokes the boys tummy gently which only makes him whine in defiance. Someone enters the room, "Yes?" he stands up straight, his hands resting on the boys shoulders protectively. </p><p>The woman in front of them has a clipboard in her hand, "Insurance?"</p><p>Castiel leaves the room with the woman so they have some privacy. "Dean doesn't have insurance but I can pay for the visit-" and blinks in surprise when he's handed the bill, not understanding how such a short visit could cost so much since they didn't do anything but give the boy an ultrasound. He forces a polite "Thank you-" after writing down his bank information on one of the many forms the woman handed him.</p><p>When he enters the room again, "Can we go home-" the boy asks with a sleepy yawn and he nods- holding hands all the way to the car that was parked outside in the middle of the nearly empty hospital parking lot. </p><p>Castiel was excited to get to spend the next two days hanging out with John's son since it was the weekend and he had those days off. Although they didn't do much really, mostly sat around on the couch watching movies all day but it was the highlight of his entire week.</p><p>Once Dean's tucked into bed yet again, he gives him some Motrin on a spoon and the boy makes a face as he chokes on it dramatically. "Oh please, it's not that bad-" he rolls his eyes, a smile on his face.</p><p>"Bleh-" the boy sticks out his pink tongue briefly, laying back against his pillow. "Night dad-" he whispers, eyes closing already. "Sorry I ate all the Halloween candy-"</p><p>"I wasn't aware you still had any left-" he says, but the boy is gone already- <em>Off to dreamland</em>. "Night, Dean-" Castiel softly touches the boys cheek with the back of his fingers since he'd been dying to touch those baby cheeks for a while now. </p><p>After tossing the many candy wrappers he found on the floor into the garbage, he flicks the light off on his way out of the boys bedroom for what he hopes is the final time tonight. He doesn't think he'll ever get used to this, waking up in the middle of the night because of a sick child- either way, he has to get used to it because the kids father doesn't seem to care.</p><p>Castiel opens his eyes in the morning to see the empty space next to him on the bed and almost laughs at the irony. Regardless of Johns irresponsibility, he had an amazing work ethic- never missed a day regardless of sickness or inconvenience though that may be because the guy was a mechanic, having his head buried under the hood of a car didn't feel like work at all to him. It felt more like playing hookie with all kinds of vehicles on a daily basis. Both new and classic cars made it into the shop, obviously the man couldn't be happier.</p><p>It's Saturday morning and there's plenty of chores to be done around the house, he'd become the unofficial maid or Mary number two, as John called him when he was pissed.</p><p>He's outside, hanging up the laundry on the clothes line when the back screen door slams shut. Castiel looks over his shoulder to see the short boy standing there, squinting at him in the morning's sunshine. </p><p>"Why don't you come help me-" he smiles, waving him over and the boy walks up to the laundry basket. He grabs a damp shirt from the pile of clothing and Castiel lifts him up so he can clip the shirt onto the line with clothes pins, they carry on like this until he's clipped every item of clothing onto the line. "There you go." Dean laughs, mostly because fingers are digging into his armpits. "All done." he puts the boy down.</p><p>Dean rubs under his armpits,"I'm hungry." looking up at him once again, squinting. "Can we go to that place again? the one with the drinks-"</p><p>Castiel smiles, picking up the empty laundry basket off the dew soaked grass. "Sure-" he could use a coffee. The stuff John brewed was more like motor oil and there was no way in hell he would ever drink it.</p><p>They made it to Starbucks and Dean is waiting in line with him this time, every once in a while he looks down at the boy by his side. He's wearing shorts and a black shirt with his sneakers- though he was beginning to think the boy had grown out of them at some point since he'd been walking extra funny the last few days.</p><p>"We have to get you new shoes." Castiel mentions right before they make it to the register, he felt like the kids father already. After paying, the boy turns around to look at the bakery items on display and that's when he notices the tag sticking out from his shirt. "Dean-" he whispers before guiding the boy to the bathrooms so he can fix it.</p><p>They go into the bathroom together and Castiel locks the door behind them. It doesn't feel weird or wrong at all when he says, "Arms up-" and lifts the boys shirt up over his head, turning it outside-in out so that the tag wouldn't show. "There we go." he smiles, helping him put it back on.</p><p>"Good as new." he's crouching down low enough to meet the boys green eyes, Castiel looks into them for few seconds too long before standing up. If he stared into them any longer he might just get lost in those emerald gems and never be able to claw his way out.</p><p>He guides the boy to their table now, "Let me check if our stuff is ready<em>-"  </em>Castiel's in line again and his eyes occasionally glance over at the boy who was now playing on his brand new phone. <em>So cute.</em> When he joins Dean at the table he's got his coffee and their breakfast. </p><p>Dean looks at Castiel's new drink, it wasn't his usual drink so he asks, "Can I try-" </p><p>Castiel smiles awkwardly and the boy takes a sip, quickly making that sour lemon face once again. "I knew you wouldn't like it." he laughs, awkwardness quickly forgotten. "I got you a muffin-" he pulls it out of the brown paper bag and hands it over.</p><p>The boy was studying the bag, "Why is there a mermaid on here-"</p><p>Castiel shrugs, because he really doesn't know either. "Guess mermaids like coffee too-" He bites into his bagel, "Anything fun happening at school?" </p><p>Dean aggressively bites into his muffin, "Oh yea-" he nods. "-I went to a party at school, only the smart kids got to go." and he says it in the softest tone. </p><p>His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, "Wow, that's great-"</p><p>"Yea-" the boys feet accidentally hit him in the knees once in a while, he'd been kicking them under the table. "-but Sam was mad, cause he didn't get invited." after a few bites of muffin he continues his story. "We had pizza in the library and played games-" </p><p>"Why didn't Sam go, isn't he smart too?" Castiel asks, sipping his drink.</p><p>Dean shrugs, "He's smart but he doesn't read as much as me-" he sips on his own caffeine free drink. "-he didn't get enough reading points to go to the party."</p><p>"So you like to read?" Castiel can't help the smile that appears on his face. Johns kid was amazing and he's almost jealous that the boy isn't his own son. </p><p>Dean nods, resting back against the chair since he's done eating. "Yea." and smiles. "I read all the Goosebumps books in the library at school-"</p><p>Castiel laughs, because he's too cute. "Alright, if you're done we can get going-" as they head out yet again, he admires how adorable the boy is as he runs ahead of him to his car. </p><p>On the way home they stop by the grocery store for a few things and once again the boy helps him carry all the shopping bags into the house, helps him put everything away too. </p><p>"You're so helpful." Castiel comments, patting the boys head and takes a seat at the kitchen table with his laptop. Dean stays there for a while, just looking at him. "Hmm?" he murmurs once they make eye contact since sitting down.</p><p>"I have a test on Monday." he's already pulling out his math workbook from his backpack that had already been on the table, "I need help."</p><p>"Of course-" Castiel pushes aside his computer and leans closer to the young boy. After working for a while John comes home for lunch, expecting a home cooked meal. </p><p>"What, no lunch?" he's asking Castiel, taking a seat at the table. "Mary always had food waitin' for me."</p><p>This time he feels like fighting back, "Well, I'm not Mary." and he tries to refocus all his attention on Dean and his homework but his father is making it difficult. </p><p>John runs a hand down his face, "I need to talk to you-" Castiel glares at him. "-In private." he follows the mechanic to the bedroom so they can <em>talk. </em>"I only ask one thing of you-" he huffs bitterly once the bedroom door is locked behind them. "-just cook for me, that's all." he steps into the doctors personal space. "-but I guess the only thing you understand is getting fucked, right <em>slut?</em>" that last part is said right in the younger mans face.</p><p>Castiel stays silent, looking away because his thoughts are with Dean at the kitchen table and the test he's got on Monday. He comes back to reality when a strong hand is grabbing his ass over his jeans, "Huh-" he looks up at the angry man. "-we can't, Dean's down the hall-" a low grade panic sets in now that he's getting man handled into the bed. "He'll hear us-"</p><p>"Not if you're quiet." This time John doesn't flip him over onto his stomach when he's naked, he bends the younger man in half and slides into him roughly. <em>It burns. </em></p><p>John holds his legs wide open, hovering over him as he pounds his ass.</p><p>"Ugh-" Castiel groans in pain this time, not pleasure. "-you're hurting me!" he hisses.</p><p>He's about to complain again when John placing his dirty hand over his mouth to keep him silent. His eyes go wide and he can't do anything but groan into the hand. </p><p>"You like that, don't you slut-" John breathes into his ear. </p><p>Castiel struggles underneath his body, tries closing his legs but their hooked between strong arms. "Ughhh-" he whimpers in agony. It doesn't hurt all that much, but he's pissed because he hadn't wanted to have sex in the first place. Especially not after what John did last time and yet here he was, doing it all over again.</p><p>"Gonna cum-" John's body stiffens as he unloads everything he's got inside of the younger man. It's not long before he pulls out and removes his hand from his mouth.</p><p>Castiel props himself on his elbows right the on the bed, panting heavily through his mouth. His legs were shaking. </p><p>"Thanks for lunch." John spits out before pulling up his work pants and leaving for the shop again most likely. Castiel wraps a towel around his body and goes into the bathroom for a quick two minute shower, being with John Winchester was actually making him hate men and he sure as hell was getting tired of being a bottom.</p><p>After his shower he goes straight to the bedroom, the fact that he had been helping Dean was forgotten. Castiel is still naked and wet when he lets himself fall onto the unmade bed.</p><p>"Castiel-" Dean eventually opens the bedroom door just a crack. Castiel looks up, one green eye was peeking through and he quickly sits up, holding the towel over his crotch.</p><p>"Yeah-" he says hoarsely. "You want lunch don't you-"</p><p>Dean nods, "Yea-" he opens the door more, now Castiel can see his entire face. <em>His sweet face. </em>"Were you fighting?" </p><p>"Something like that." Castiel doesn't say anything for a moment, but tears run down his face.</p><p>"Why are you crying?" Dean asks quietly and he looked so scared so he wipes his tears away and smiles.</p><p>Castiel doesn't answer the question, "Why don't you go wait for me in the kitchen, I'll be right there." the boy nods, closing the door carefully.</p><p>After grabbing some courage from who knows where, he goes to meet the eleven year old in the kitchen who was still scribbling away on his workbook. He quickly makes a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, which they both love. Their meal is eaten in silence but he can feel green eyes on him the whole time their eating but he doesn't look up to make eye contact. After all, how can he- his father is hurting him in multiple ways now and he's only staying because the fear of leaving the boy alone is too much to bare.</p><p>Castiel finally says, "What-" because those green eyes feel like lasers on him. Finally he looks up and their eyes meet, "Why are you staring at me?"</p><p>Dean's eyes widen before looking down, seeing that he was nearly done with his lunch anyway so he thinks it's okay to leave and quickly goes to his bedroom. Castiel sighs loudly before getting up and clearing the table, putting the dishes in the sink and stuffing the boys school work in his backpack so he doesn't forget it on Monday when he's got that big test. </p><p>The boy doesn't come out of his room the rest of the day which he sort of expected. If Dean thought Castiel was mad at him for any reason, he'd hide away in his room and refused to go near him until Castiel told him that everything was fine. Castiel was okay with having to reassure the boy often because he did need it and he wasn't sure why. John comes home to find him laying on the couch, their eyes meet and he laughs before going to the kitchen to grab a beer.</p><p>Castiel mutters "Asshole-" under his breath before the mechanic comes back, stopping right in front of him. "What?" his tone is clearly one of annoyance. The man pulls out his cock right then, "You're kidding-" no way he's going to give him a blow job after what's been going on between them.</p><p>"Suck it-" John reaches for the dark hair and uses it to yank him up into a sitting position, the doctor wastes no time before taking half of it into his mouth. "That's it-" he visibly relaxes, his thick sausage fingers rubbing the burn from the younger mans scalp. </p><p>Castiel is angry as he blows the man and it shows that he's not interested in what he's doing because it's done lazily. Johns hips buckle which makes him gag and he pulls off, wiping his mouth, "I can't-" dark brown eyes stare down at him expectantly. "I can't do <em>that</em>-" he lies about his inability to deep throat because in reality he can and he's very good at it. John zips up before sitting down next to him. He's about to get up off the couch when a strong arm wraps around him to keep him in place.</p><p>They must have watched a few hours of television before John's patting him on the thigh, "Let's go to bed-" and Castiel has no choice but to let himself be guided to their bedroom for whatever hell awaits him behind a locked door. </p><p>Luckily nothing <em>bad </em>happened, John actually gave him a hand job and was very sweet about it. The man whispered sweet nothings into his ear, making Castiel moan and melt under his touch. Everything was forgotten and forgiven, for now. "Ughh-" Castiel moans softly, watching the large hand stroke his cock lazily but firmly- just the right way to make him feel good. "Mmm-" his own hand wanders to the older mans hairy body, wrapping around his member. </p><p>"Mmm-" John rumbles in his chest. "I like that-"</p><p>Castiel is completely wrecked with need now, the mind fuck he was being subjected to was so cleverly done he couldn't fathom ever leaving this man now and it had nothing to do with his son. Tonight, he felt like he was in love John Winchester- the way his whispered lies felt in his ear, the way his hands roamed his naked flesh- they all convinced him that it was worth staying. That John Winchester wasn't really a bad man, he was just misunderstood or angry. But then again, aren't all ex military men dealing with something after doing their time?</p><p>He told himself everything will be alright if he just does what John says. Maybe if he cooks for the man every day and gives him sex when he asks for it, maybe he'll never have to get <em>hurt </em>again by the mans hand. Perhaps they can really be a happy family of three.</p><p>When he wakes up in bed the next morning with no clue of anything that's happened the previous night, he's confused and his vision is blurry. Castiel is unable to remember anything, had Dean eaten dinner? No, he didn't make any dinner and it's clear to him now because his own stomach is growling something fierce. "Shit-" he curses as he hauls his sore body out of bed. </p><p>He's even more confused when he looks at his phone to see that it wasn't exactly morning at all, it was the next evening. "Shit-" he curses again because he completely missed work. "Dean-" his voice is loud, "Dean-" panic sets in because where the hell has the boy been this whole time. Did he even go to school, who picked him up? Who fed him? "Dean-" and the boy is right there on the couch eating from a bag of chips.</p><p>Castiel squints the blurriness from his eyes, "What-" still his vision isn't focusing. Even though he usually wears glasses, his vision has never been this bad. </p><p>Dean sits up, "Hi-" after a moment, "Dad said you were sick and not to bother you-" </p><p>Castiel suddenly gets a really bad feeling in his stomach, quickly running back to the bedroom to look through the nightstand drawer and finds what he's looking for. He'd only felt like this once before, when he'd accidentally taken two sleeping pills instead of one because he wasn't exactly sure if he took the first one. After looking inside the bottle, it was clear that a few sleeping pills were missing from his prescription and that John had drugged him.</p><p>He sits down on the bed because one, he's extremely tired, like can't keep your eyes open at all tired- why would he do this? It is his own prescription medication, but it doesn't change that he gave him something without him knowing. </p><p>John knew Castiel wouldn't forgive him just like <em>that, </em>so he'd crushed a few of the pills into some of Castiel's herbal tea which he drinks every night before going to bed. Now that he thinks about it, it was strange that the mechanic had prepared his tea out of the kindness of his heart. If he'd been given a few too many he might have not woken up at all and that thought scares him half to death so he ends up disposing of the rest safely, where they wouldn't be found by John or worse, Dean. </p><p>This really is for the best, it's not safe for him to have this type of medication lying around with a child in the house. It shocks him how everything he was thinking last night, everything he was <em>feeling </em>about John was only because he'd been given way too much of a medication. Yet, maybe it wasn't the pills at all that have him wanting to stay with John, maybe the man really has just gotten under his skin because he's not even thinking of leaving. Not even after what just happened, his logic is just telling him to be mindful of what he drinks and eats from now on.</p><p>Castiel ends up ordering a pizza for dinner and he ate almost the whole pie by himself, only leaving Dean one slice. "Sorry-" he apologizes, respectfully burping into his fist.</p><p>Dean's feeling scared even though he doesn't know why, he's thinking Castiel is <em>bad </em>because he's being weird and his dad told him things about the guy. John had lied to his son, telling him that Castiel was a bad person and to be careful around him because he does naughty things. It's obviously all lies, but John was good at manipulating- he wanted his son against Castiel because he knew it would hurt him, make him insecure. Maybe make him so insecure he would never leave them and work harder to win them over.</p><p>As they watch television in the living room, Castiel does notice that Dean is sitting really far away from him, all the way on the opposite end of the couch. "You okay?" he chuckles because this is weird. The boys shoulders move up and down quickly, eyes focused on the television. "Oh-kay-" he crosses his arms at his chest, eyes refocusing on the flickering screen, not at all hurt by the boys distance.</p><p>After a while of tension, John comes home and quickly peeks into the living room. "Good boy-" he mouths the compliment to his son in secret, clearly happy that the boy wasn't sitting too close to the doctor. Castiel quickly gets up and follows the mechanic to the bedroom, locking the door behind him. "If you're following me by your own free will, guess that means you wanna get fucked?"</p><p>Castiel's pissed at what he did but he can't help but nod in agreement and hates that he's such a man whore. "Yeah, guess I do-" although his cock is rock hard in his sweatpants, the knowledge of being drugged is too much for him to handle and instantly, he's soft. "Forget it, I can't-" and pushes the older man away. "Not feeling well-" </p><p>John actually doesn't push for sex, likely knowing that it's probably the truth. He did drug the man, so he might actually be feeling like shit. "Go to bed then-" his tone is casual as he undressed from his dirty work clothes and falls onto the bed with nothing on but plaid boxers.</p><p>Castiel does the same before falling into the shared bed, "Don't you want to spend some time with your son for a while?"</p><p>He shrugs, lighting a cigarette right there in the bedroom. "Nah, he loves me anyway-"</p><p>"I don't know why he does-" his tone was barely audible.</p><p>"You see-" John huffs, exhaling the cigarette smoke from his mouth slowly. "-and comments like that are why I hit you."</p><p>Castiel bites his tongue before turning over onto his side of the bed to get some sleep like getting treated this way is the most normal thing ever.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Setting Up Sunday</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's Sunday morning, not long before the doctor has left for work in a rush that John decides to drop off his son at his friends house, completely on a whim.</p><p>The kid was starting to get in the way of his <em>quality </em>time with the doctor and he was planning on making it all up to him over a candle lit dinner of take out food. There was no way in hell he was going to prepare a home cooked meal, unless the younger man was a fan of charcoal on a plate. Surely he'd be able to pick up a bucket of fried chicken on the way home from the shop since it's the only thing that was guaranteed not to make his golden goose sick.</p><p>"Why am I going to Sam's house-" Dean mumbles, forehead pressed against the passenger side window. It was way too damn early for this, the windows hadn't even defrosted yet from the evenings chill.</p><p>"Cas was right, you need to get out of the house more-" his thumbs are drumming anxiously on the impalas steering wheel as they're stopped at a red light.</p><p>Dean's a bit hurt by that admission, "He said that?" but it's not like his dad took him anywhere to begin with so It wasn't his fault he didn't get out much. </p><p>"Called his mom, said it was cool for you to sleep over-" and it was a lie, he did no such thing but the woman was already used to him being dropped off randomly.</p><p>Dean blinks, "I gotta sleep over too-" and shakes his head in disbelief. Don't get him wrong, he loved Sam like a brother but he liked sleeping in his own bed at night with his stuffed spider man. Even if he was too old for it, the boy loved that thing to death and his best friend had no idea.</p><p>Castiel's day is uneventful at the hospital, not much going on at all so he decides to take another break. "Hey-" he sighs, letting himself fall down onto his chair at the nurses station.</p><p>"You look exhausted baby-" Meg smiles up at him from her chair, "Relax, I'll give you a massage."</p><p>Castiel laughs softly, "Sure, why not-" and spins his chair around so his back is facing the nurse. "Yeah-" he sighs after a while, enjoying the feel of long nails digging into his shoulders.</p><p>If he had never realized he was gay, Castiel most likely would have married Meg Masters by now. Definitely, no doubt about it- most of his time is spent with her already, being married to the woman wouldn't be much of a drastic change. </p><p>"So-" she says casually. "How's the little bugger?"</p><p>Castiel becomes uncomfortable, not wanting to talk about Dean while he's getting a damn good massage and no doubt fattening up in his scrub pants. "He's doing well-" he ends up saying, thinking of something entirely disgusting to will away his erection. </p><p>"I wanna meet him-" </p><p>He pulls away finally, spinning the chair to face his computer now. "I can't just steal the kid whenever I feel like it-" but he has, having already taken Dean several places. Just them two.</p><p>"Well, if you ever get the chance. I'd love to meet him some day." she stands up, running her long nails into his dark hair before walking away.</p><p>That night Castiel calls out the name "Dean-" into the silence of the home after letting himself in, all he wants to do is get in bed after the long day he's had. He drops his bag on the floor and somehow manages to not drop his coffee cup or his laptop that he'd been carrying in his hands. "Anybody home?" he calls once again.</p><p>John definitely wasn't home yet, the impala wasn't parked out front. He wasn't sure about Dean yet, though where else could he be. He pushes the boys bedroom door open and his heart sinks when the room is empty.</p><p>After a two minute shower, he takes his laptop out to the porch to do some research. Besides, It was a nice afternoon- or what was left of it anyway. The sun was going down behind the trees in the neighborhood, giving them a nice glow. There was a nice chill in the air but it wasn't uncomfortably cold just yet. </p><p>Castiel must have dozed off while sitting on the porch because he's suddenly opening his eyes and it's dark, the sound of the impalas muffler waking him.</p><p>"Where's Dean-" that's the first thing to escape his lips. </p><p>John slams the door of his precious shiny black vehicle, "Sleepover-" and he's got take out food with him. "You hungry?" he asks, walking up to the front door before letting himself in.</p><p>Castiel shuts the laptop and goes inside, following the man into the kitchen. He was already setting down plates and two wine glasses. "What's all this-" he's still exhausted, slouching over one of the kitchen dining chairs, not knowing if he wanted to sit down to join him.</p><p>"I wanted to do something nice." John shrugs, lighting a candle and placing it at the table. "I'm tryin' here-" he says when he notices that Castiel is just staring at him with no emotion.</p><p>"Sure-" he sits down at the table after quickly washing his hands in the sink. "Least you got something good." he forces a smile, reaching in to the bucket of fried chicken.</p><p>"That's the spirit." After a few long moments of quiet eating he says, "I know I'm not a very good boyfriend-" their eyes meet in the middle. "I just have all this anger inside of me. Being in the military does stuff to a guy."</p><p>Castiel softens his tone forcefully, "That must have been hard-" because after all, he does have sympathy- just not for this man.</p><p>"It was." John sulks, still acting through his teeth. Maybe if he makes the doctor feel bad for him, he'll let more things slide. Things felt awkward on Castiel's end, he doesn't know what to say. The guy fucked and hit every bit of sympathy he had for him it seems. "I love you, please don't ever leave me-" Castiel blinks, gulping. "-don't leave us. Dean would would never stop crying if you left."</p><p>That got him, "I would never leave-" he shakes his head. "-I would never leave Dean." </p><p>"He needs you." John says softly, reaching across the table to hold his hand. "We need you." </p><p>Castiel nods, looking at the hand holding his. "We can see how things go-" he ends up saying, not making any promises quite yet. </p><p>"Thank you baby." John reaches over, planting a kiss on his forehead. After most of the fried chicken and biscuits are gone, "How about we dig into some pie, I got one fresh at the store." </p><p>"Sure." Castiel smiles. "I'll make coffee."</p><p>After pie and coffee, came the actual <em>dessert, </em>and it was served in the bedroom. Castiel thought he was finally going to be able to sleep, he needed it badly but the guy had something else in mind. He knew this when he saw the man slipping out of his clothes and giving him that <em>look.</em></p><p>"I'm tired-" Castiel protests. </p><p>John unbuckles Castiel's pants, pushing them down. "You just gotta lay there-" he falls back onto the bed and John climbs up over him. Kissing his face, his neck, down his chest. </p><p>"John-" he tries to push the man away but he's sucking his dick again. "Ughhh, <em>John</em>-" he groans loudly into the room. Frustration, anger and arousal mixing together on the bed.</p><p>"Mmm you like that baby-" he rasps before sucking the doctor down again.</p><p>"Mmmm-" Castiel bites his bottom lip, nodding. It's not long before he's coming everywhere, John had pulled off before then. "Fuck-" before he can regain his marbles, John is kissing him, shoving his tongue in his mouth and he moans into it. "Ugh-" the kiss is hot and it burns his face, the stubble on the older mans face was unrelenting.</p><p>The rain hitting the roof while they fucked made the evening seem a whole lot more romantic and meaningful than it had been, Castiel must have moaned into the musky room for hours as John pulled him apart, broke him down and put him back together again in the span of a few hours.</p><p>"John-" he breathes harshly into the darkness in the room when it was all over. "What the hell was that?" </p><p>John Winchester knew how to fuck, all he had to do was pretend the doctor was just another chick that he could make lose their minds at the feel of his touch. It worked, because Castiel was all hands now, grabbing at him and rubbing his chest after all was said and done.</p><p>"Love you." John lies and it's convincing. For Castiel anyway. "Love you so much-" he runs his fingertips up and down the younger mans sweaty back.</p><p>"I-" he doesn't want to say it, because he doesn't love the man so he kisses him instead. "I'll make you a sandwich-" Castiel says with a smile before getting up.</p><p>"Now that's what I like to hear-" John smiles before lighting a cigarette right there in bed.</p><p>Castiel goes to the bathroom first and he turns on the shower to cover up the fact that he's going to make a phone call. He dials Dean and waits for the boy to respond to his call. </p><p>Back at Sam's place Dean is yelling, "Sam! It's my turn!" as they play their video game in the boys bedroom.</p><p>Sam gives him the controller to the play station and lays back on the carpet, sighing in wonder. "Whose that guy livin' at your house? He's always there."</p><p>"My dads friend, Castiel-" Dean still didn't know the guys last name, maybe he didn't have one.</p><p>"But it's weird-" Sam sits up. "-two guys living together."</p><p>Dean shrugs, killing zombies on the television screen. He's got no idea what he's trying to get at.</p><p>"Hmm-" Sam says, he was wiser than Dean had been and knew something weird was going on, it just didn't add up. Dean's phone begins to ring right then and he grabs it, "It's <em>Castiel-</em>" he says in a funny voice after looking at the caller ID.</p><p>"Gimme-" he reaches for his phone, answering the call. "Hi-" </p><p>"Heyy-" Castiel coos into the phone like he's a some kind of toddler. "I got home and saw that you weren't here-"</p><p>Dean nods, nibbling on his lip and the line is silent for a few dozen seconds. "Dad dropped me off at Sam's house-"</p><p>"Yeah, he told me-" Castiel sighs into the phone, making a windy crackling sound. "I just wanted to call you and see how things were going-"</p><p>Dean feels warm and funny in his stomach, it was their first phone call together. "We're gonna have hot dogs for dinner-" he laughs, "The zombies are killing Sam!"</p><p>Castiel hears the boys fighting on the other end of the line, he laughs. "Alright-I'll let you go buddy, good luck on that test tomorrow." </p><p>"Bye!" Dean quickly hangs up so he can help his friend win the game. It's not until they stand up for dinner that Sam laughs at him. "What!"</p><p>"You're-" he points at the little tent in his pants. </p><p>"What's that-" Dean asks, pulling on the elastic band of his shorts to have a peek at whats going on in there. </p><p>"That's a boner." Sam laughs into his hand. "I get them every morning-"</p><p>"What are they for?" Dean puts his hand on it, over his shorts.</p><p>"You play with it-" Sam tries not to laugh at his innocence. "-sorta like a joy stick." Dean's confused until his friend pushes down his own shorts and plays with his. "You do it like this-" </p><p>Dean pushes down his shorts to his knees and does the same. </p><p>"Not here!" Sam yells, "Go to the bathroom!-" and he pushes the shorter boy into the restroom so he can have at it. </p><p>Dean locks the door and looks down at his <em>joystick, </em>the little thing was still standing to attention and he didn't know why he'd gotten the boner in the first place. It was his first one and he flicks at it. "Ow-" he whimpers. He tries to hold it like Sam had done to his own but nothing happens, he doesn't know what else to do so he opens the lid on the toilet so he can pee instead.</p><p>"It didn't do nothing-" he says softly when he sits next to his friend at the dinner table. </p><p>Sam shrugs, "White stuff comes outta mine-" </p><p>"Gross-" Dean squirts a generous amount of ketchup on his hot dog before taking a big bite. "-I don't like my boner."</p><p>Sam whispers in his ear so his parents don't hear, "We can watch porn after dinner."</p><p>"What's por-" </p><p>"Nothing!" Sam yells, hoping to drown out the word his friend was just about to say. Luckily he didn't end up saying it. It was bad and his mom would had spanked him for it.</p><p>After dinner Sam steals Dean's phone away from him and they run to his room. "What's porn?" he asks again.</p><p>Sam's typing up a storm before he's scrolling through a bunch of naked people on squares. "It's people having sex-"</p><p>"Why would we watch them do that-" Dean's face is red and his boner is still in his shorts. </p><p>Sam shrugs, "I don't know, but it's fun." he pops in headphones and they share an earbud each. Sam looks cool and calm but Dean is surprised at what he's seeing. "It's cool right?"</p><p>Dean nods, nibbling on his lip as he watches a couple doing it through the screen of the phone Castiel had gotten him. <em>Castiel..</em></p><p>"I have to go to the bathroom-" and he makes a run for it.</p><p>"Yeah buddy!" Sam yells. "You can do it!"</p><p>Dean's in the bathroom with his shorts around his ankles and his joystick is in his hand. He's still clueless on what to do so he begins to experiment, trying different things until he accidentally strokes up and down a few times. That felt sort of good, so he keeps doing it. "What!" he yells when Sam knocks on the door. "I'm almost done-" the sound of his friends laughter on the other side of the door is muffled.</p><p>He keeps going until it feels <em>really </em>good and something happens, something inside him explodes and he closes his eyes tightly. Dean whimpers like an injured puppy in the quiet bathroom. Once it's over, he sits there on the toilet for a few more minutes, catching his breath. It did feel good, but he still wasn't sure he liked it.</p><p>When he enters the room again, Sam sees the scared look on his face. "What?" he comes over to him, helping him to his bed thinking he'd gotten sick or something.</p><p>"I didn't like it-" he confesses after sitting down on the bed. "It made me tired." Dean looks up at his friend.</p><p>Sam shrugs, taking a seat next to him. "You get used to it-" </p><p>"Have you had sex before?" he asks, blinking away the tears from his eyes and not knowing why he wanted to cry.</p><p>"I'm twelve, of course not-" he shakes his head, they both kick their feet in the air a while. "Sorry I made you do it."</p><p>Dean shrugs then, "I liked it until I exploded inside." they make eye contact. "But white stuff didn't come out-"</p><p>"You gotta practice-" Sam's a horrible influence. "It'll come out some day." Dean nods, confused. "Should we sleep or-"</p><p>"I wanna play some more-" Dean walks over to the television in Sam's room, parking his behind on the floor right in front of the screen and it couldn't be good for his eyes.</p><p>That night both boys sleep soundly in the bed until morning. It was Monday, the day of his math test and he was nervous. Sam's mother helped them both get ready for the day before dropping them off at school. </p><p>"You can copy off of me-" Sam whispers after taking their seats in their classroom.</p><p>"I studied this time-" he whispers back, pencil in his hand. When the teacher hands out the worksheets, he quickly starts to scribble away in confidence. Sam finishes his test first in the entire class as usual, he was a genius. "Ugh-" he groans after handing in his test to their teacher at the end of class. Dean always finished last. "I failed." he looks up at his friend.</p><p>"Don't be like that." the taller boy hooks his arm around the shorter boy and they head to the cafeteria for lunch.</p><p>His cellphone buzzes in his jeans pocket but he can't answer it or they'll take it away from him. He knows it must be Castiel, only he and Sam had his phone number. Oh, and his uncle Bobby. They eat lunch as they chat about stuff, mostly school related things and video games. </p><p>"Sam!" a blonde girl calls to him, waving.</p><p>"Who is she?" Dean asks.</p><p>"That's Jess-" he waves to the blonde. "-we agreed to get married when we grow up." he jokes, "I met her in my AP English class." The duo had every single class together, all but AP English. "Any girls in school you like?" Sam asks, they finished lunch a while ago and now they're just waiting until the bell rings.</p><p>"No." Dean states seriously. </p><p>"You'll get there-" his friend knows what he's going through on the inside, regarding girls. He himself didn't like them until a few weeks ago when he met Jess.</p><p>A few hours after lunch they have P.E. and the two boys are sitting together on the bleachers wondering where the coach is. After ten minutes of boredom, their coach walked in.</p><p>"Listen up boys!" he roars loudly and everyone becomes silent. "We should be outside enjoying a nice game of soccer-" he pauses. "Due to the rain, we're going have a little sex education class-"</p><p>Sam jabs his shoulder into Dean's ribs. "Stop it-" Dean complains.</p><p>"Let's be serious, please!" he yells at everyone. Another coach rolls in the television/vhs combo into the gym and everyone knows it's about to get good. They watch a cartoon video about the dangers of sex and all it's consequences. From teen pregnancy, to sexually transmitted diseases- all the boys groaned in disgust on that one. "So!" The coach roars once again. "Do you boys understand the horrible dangers of sex?" </p><p>Sam and Dean both knew the guy probably had as much sex as humanly possible given his age, but they agreed anyways. "Yes sir!" they all yell back unison. </p><p>"Good boys!" he finally gives everyone a smile. "Alright let's pack it up!" all the boys follow him to the locker room, both Sam and Dean begin to change back into their regular clothes. Dean always hated this part, luckily he had a tall friend who sort of blocked him from view of all the other boys. </p><p>Soon enough he and Sam are waiting out front for their bus to come when a car honks at them both. "Is that <em>Castiel-"</em>  Sam asks in that same funny voice.</p><p>Dean nods before grabbing his backpack from the ground, "Bye!" he yells to his friend as he runs up to the familiar vehicle, "Why did you come get me?" he asks, getting in and quickly buckling himself in. "Did Bobby die?"</p><p>"Whose Bobby?" Castiel asks, pulling away from the school.</p><p>"He's my uncle-" Dean says, "-he calls me every few days to check on me." Castiel nods, listening to the boy explain. "He has a beard."</p><p>"Does he now-" Castiel plays into the conversation. "I'm thinking of growing one too-"</p><p>"Cool." Dean smiles.</p><p>The older man looks over at him while they're stopped at a red light. "Have fun at Sams?"</p><p>Dean recalls what he'd done for the first time last night, "I had fun-" he forces the words out awkwardly. </p><p>The rest of the drive home, Castiel goes on about something, he can't remember. His focus was on what he discovered the night before, thanks to his best friend and wonders when white stuff will come out of his. Maybe practice really does make perfect.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Curiosity Kills The Cat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was Saturday night and John Winchester was out as usual so Castiel was on babysitting duty. That's how they end up watching a few scary movies on the living room couch with an empty pizza box on the coffee table. The boy had begged to watch something scary and he caved instantly once those thick lashes batted in his general direction. Dean was just too cute to say no to.</p><p>They're on their second movie of the night and the boy is holding onto the older mans arm for safely. Every now and then, when someones head gets cut off and blood goes everywhere, he uses the older mans arm to cover his line of view. Their thighs are touching because of how close they are sitting next to each other, but it's fine, it's not a big deal. It's not weird at all, not yet anyway.</p><p>Things are getting a little too scary so Castiel changes the channel to something related to the comedy genre and Dean was relieved, instantly letting go of his arm. This new movie was kind of boring at times, that's how Dean ends up asking him a whole bunch of questions. How long had he been wondering about these things? It comes out of nowhere.</p><p>"Do you have a girlfriend?" </p><p>Castiel looks over at him in surprise, not expecting such a question. "I don't-" it was true, he didn't.</p><p>"Do you like girls?" the boy scratches his nose innocently, eyes looking up at the older man. "Sam already likes girls-"</p><p>Castiel answers honestly, "Yes, I like girls." because he does like them. Or at least he used to like them, <em>really </em>liked them before discovering penis for the first time. "Don't you like girls?"</p><p>Dean sighs loudly, kicking his bare feet in the air. "Girls are boring-" their eyes meet again. "But he likes them anyway-"</p><p>Castiel nods, a smile is on his face. "Well, girls can be very nice-"</p><p>Dean's curious about girls so he asks, "What do you do with them?" </p><p>Although he does want to answer the question because he's an evil little shit, he goes with- "You're a little young to be wondering about these things, give it a few years-" instead.</p><p>That ends that conversation which Castiel is relieved for because he does not feel comfortable giving this boy the birds and the bees talk or letting him know where babies come from, if he didn't know that already. This was a topic for his father to cover, but it didn't seem like that was going to happen at any point in time because the man was rarely ever home for more than a few hours at a time.</p><p>His career is more demanding, yet he's home a lot more than the boys father. So this talk might just fall onto his lap sooner or later if John doesn't step up to it.</p><p>Dean just seems to want all his questions answered and doesn't understand the concept of boundaries. His next question has the older man almost coughing up a lung. "What?" his eyes are wide in shock after hearing his question.</p><p>"Does white stuff come out of yours-" he repeats quietly.</p><p>Castiel sighs, "I think you should have this talk with your father-" there's an innocent look on his face and it's clear that he's only curious about his body. "I'll tell your dad to talk to you about this, alright?" </p><p>Dean's bottom lip was sticking out in a pout, "Okay-"</p><p>By the time a drunk John Winchester stumbles through the front door, his son is in bed fast asleep and Castiel is across the hall in their bedroom. The door creaks open, causing the younger man to look up sleepily. The digital clock on the nightstand reads <strong>4:01</strong> and it's way too early, or late depending on how you look at it.</p><p>"You're just getting home?" he yawns, "Dean's been asking me a lot of questions-" </p><p>The older man slides underneath the covers after stripping his body of his clothing. "Oh yea?" his tone aloof, not showing an ounce of interest. </p><p>Castiel yawns again, facing away from the drunk next to him. "Wants to know all about girls-"</p><p>John actually laughs, "I was startin' to think he was gonna be a queer, good for him-" and it's a good thing the doctor had fallen asleep before hearing that or they would have had a problem.</p><p>The following day John had agreed to take them both on a fun day out. What that entailed, Castiel nor Dean knew. It was supposed to be some big surprise of some sort. Dean was overly excited since the poor boy didn't get out much aside from school or going to play with Sam at his house. </p><p>The excitement quickly faded after cruising aimlessly around town for almost two hours. It was clear that John Winchester had forgotten about their family outing and had nothing planned for the day. But of course, in his defense this little family date was only talked about once and it had been over a week since either one of them had brought it up. </p><p>Castiel says, "Let's just go home-" after passing the same damn mall four times already. "You forgot, it's fine-"</p><p>The older man pulls into the malls parking lot finally, "Feel like a new comic, Dean?" his eyes are looking into the rear view mirror and he nods in excitement. "Cas, you gonna behave?"</p><p>Castiel bites his tongue, nodding in agreement. It angered him greatly when he was spoken to like a child by this man, yet he had no intentions on leaving. Why would he leave? The sex was surprisingly fantastic even if there was no connection whatsoever, and there's <em>Dean, </em>who completely makes his heart melt into mush whenever he smiles or laughs. That alone was the icing on the cake of their relationship.</p><p>They walk around aimlessly until they manage to find the comic book store and Dean rushes inside. Castiel makes no effort or attempt to pay for the boys comic because he wants to see if the man will actually pay for it or if he expects him to pay for it just like everything else the man has him paying for. It surprises him when John pulls out his old leather wallet to use a crisp 20 dollar bill for his sons comic.</p><p>It's not until they're at a clothing store that Castiel finds something he wants to buy and his wallet comes up empty when he fishes it out at the cash register. His eyes glance over in the distance to John and his son, who were standing just outside the store.</p><p>"Sir, cash or credit?" </p><p>The voice of the sales associate brings him back, "Credit-" so he pulls out his card and swipes it. </p><p>John Winchester had the fucking nerve, the audacity to go into his wallet and take every single twenty dollar bill that he had. Even if hes so angry he could punch his lights out right then, maybe something <em>worse</em>, he doesn't. Certainly not while Dean was present because he looked so damn happy for once. So happy that he was actually holding onto his fathers hand for the first time since he'd known the two Winchesters.</p><p>The small amount of jealousy in his chest is forced to the depths of oblivion because he wants this boy to hold onto his hand instead. </p><p>They continue to browse in and out of stores until John gives his son a few bucks so he can buy himself an ice cream, that's when Castiel decides to confronts him about the theft. They sit down at a small table near the back of the ice cream shop and their eyes meet. John can sense the anger seeping from his pores and simply leans back against the chair, somewhat challenging him.</p><p>"I know you stole from me-" the words are casual, hidden behind a fake smile because the boy keeps looking back at them both as he stands in line for his treat. "You think I'm just-"</p><p>John leans over, "What the hell are you gonna do about it?" the doctor doesn't say anything and looks away. "That's what I thought-" before his son can manage to come back he mentions, "Would me fucking you tonight make you forget about this?-"</p><p>Castiel swallows, instantly hard in his pants. "Yeah, i guess-" he's pissed about the theft but it had been quite a while since he's gotten laid by the man. Whatever, he's craving some right about now and the mere mention of getting fucked turns him off.</p><p>Dean's freshly showered and has his pajamas on when his father tucks him into bed that night in a rush. "Go to sleep-" the order is given because he knows how his son loves to stay up secretly to read his comics or watch television. The boy nods before turning his head to face the opposite direction, eyes closing quickly. </p><p>John enters his own bedroom across the hall to find Castiel already waiting for him, completely nude on the bed. Although he isn't thrilled that he's got to fuck him, it's still sex and he'll just pretend the guy's a chick. <em>Like he always did. </em>"You ready?" his large hand ghosts over his own crotch, giving it a squeeze. </p><p>Castiel exhales heavily, "Yes-" and basically undresses the older man with his eyes. Although they had little in common, the mechanics good looks and hot body made that little fact seem irrelevant. "Come fuck me, daddy-" the word slips out. "Sorry I-"</p><p>But John is on him in an instant, "What was that?" and he's got a fist full of dark hair in his hand. "Say it again-"</p><p>Castiel winces, "Daddy-" and he's kissed in the most filthy way for a moment before the man pulls him to the edge of the bed, spreading his thighs apart. "Fuck me, Daddy-" </p><p>"I'm getting to it, sweetheart-" the deep southern drawl has the doctor moaning a little too early. "This what you want?" lube is being drizzled generously onto his cock before he rubs the head against the virgin looking hole. </p><p>Castiel's eyes bat seductively, "I want it, I want it so bad-" and his hands go to where his knees bend and holds himself up all on his own. "Fuck my ass, Daddy-" </p><p>John growls before pushing in, slowly at first, until it goes in halfway. That's all they both really need and a quick pace is set. It's unrelenting and John's cock is pushing in heavily, managing to hit the younger man's prostate every other jab. Castiel is loving this, loves getting fucked by a large cock. His blue eyes flutter but somehow stay focused on the mechanics.</p><p>Now that he thinks about it, he doesn't need to pretend the doctor is a woman. He can just pretend that his lover is a <em>boy, </em>which is pretty much right up his alley. This way he can leave his son alone and fuck the living daylights out of someone who looks cute without breaking the law. The younger man beneath him did have a little bit of a boyish charm to his entire look.</p><p>Castiel's eyes widen momentarily when the large cock buries deeply inside of him suddenly, causing a burning sensation. "Aghh-" he groans in pain and pleasure. Eventually his hand sneaks between their slicked bodies so that he can stroke himself. "I'm gonna-" and it's spilling all over his stomach after a few seconds. "Oh fuck-" then he's chuckling softly because the relief was needed regardless of who had given it to him.</p><p>John keeps pounding into him, "Fucking slut, got <em>whore </em>written all over your body-" that's when the laughter dies down and now he's moaning in pure ecstasy. Castiel's prostate is constantly getting jabbed and manages to come a second time after another long while. "That all you got?" his tone is rough.</p><p>Castiel winces in pain and being overly stimulated, "Aghh-" his thighs try to close on instinct because he's already had more than enough. "John, stop-" his eyes are shut tightly, "It fucking hurts-" </p><p>"Almost-" he continues pumping until he's completely emptied himself inside, before rolling off the younger man who was reduced to tears. "I needed that-"</p><p>Castiel sits up and wipes his tears away, "I told you to stop-" then stands up, wrapping a towel around his waist before going into the shower to hopefully erase the sudden terrible mood that has now overwhelmed him.</p><p>"Guess I didn't hear ya-" the mechanic laughs.</p><p>Castiel ignores him, padding down the hallway to the bathroom but his destination is stalled when he notices the flickering light of the television on. "Dean-" he walks over to the living rooms entry way to find the boy on the couch. "What are you doing up?"</p><p>The boy quickly sits up because he just got busted, "What's happening?" he gulps, "I heard yelling-" a moment of silence, "Your door was locked-" their eyes meet. "Is dad get drunk again?"</p><p>Castiel blushes, "We were-" there's no easy way to put this. "-moving furniture around in our room."</p><p>"Oh-" and he seems satisfied with that response because he doesn't question further. "Can I finish this episode?" the kid was watching ninja turtles and how could he say no.</p><p>"Sure, but its straight to bed afterwards-" and he's off to the bathroom to wash away the <em>whore </em>off his body.</p><p>After his quick shower, the television in the living room is still flickering. "Thought I told you to go to bed?" he says, wiping away the remains of the tears that had been shed in the privacy of the bathroom not two minutes ago.</p><p>Dean's green eyes look up to quickly notice the mans sadness, "Do you need a hug?" the question is asked so suddenly, so innocently. "When I was sad, mom gave me hugs-"</p><p>Castiel can't help but cave completely at the offer and walks over to the boy against his better judgement. "Yes, please." and he gets down on his knees, right in front of him. The boy wraps his short arms around his neck, holding him. The act was innocent, nothing sinister behind it. "Thank you, Dean. I needed that-" and he stands right then. "Bed?"</p><p>"Okayy-" comes the huffed response, clearly wanting to stay up much longer than he was allowed. </p><p>Castiel tucks the younger boy into bed, "You're really staying in bed this time, right?" and he's thinking about it, as if planning his great escape to the living room once he's left alone for the second time. "Dean-" his tone is playfully threatening, then the tickles come.</p><p>"Ahh!-" comes the loud childish squeals that are half laughter, "Ahh!-hah!-hah!" and he's squirming in the center of the twin bed, legs kicking everywhere and yes he does kick the tickle monster in his chest by accident.</p><p>Finally the sweet torture ends and Castiel is trying not to laugh himself, the boy just made his night a while lot better. Dean's laying back, huffing and puffing from the struggle of trying to get free from the tickle monster at his side. Their eyes are fixed on each other in curiosity and neither of them know just yet.</p><p>Castiel should really make himself scarce before he's asked about girls once again or worse, gets asked if <em>white stuff </em>comes out of the thing in his pants. </p><p>"Alright-" he stands, pulling the covers to the boys chest. "Goodnight, Dean." and before he exits the room, "And stay in bed-" then the lights go off.</p><p>Dean sighs sleepily before rolling over onto his tummy, hugging his pillow to himself before drifting away. That night he dreams of the tickle monster with blue eyes, who does a little more than tickle him. There might have been a kiss or two on the cheek, or a whole bunch of them and he doesn't know what any of it means by the time morning comes.</p><p>The dream was pretty pleasant, not weird like when his father kisses his cheeks in real life because that always makes his tummy hurt.</p><p>The next day John is off at the shop for the day, so Dean and Castiel enjoy the nice weather outdoors. Castiel watches the boy play from where he's seated on the porch, with  his computer open on his lap. The sound of an ice cream truck in the distance has Dean clumsily running in his direction, screeching his name with excitement. He looks up, a smile on his face. </p><p>"Castiel!" Dean runs up the porch steps, "Castiel! Can I have a dollar for an ice cream?" and his gaze looks back at the approaching truck.</p><p>The man pretends to think it over while the boy in front of him is practically jumping in eagerness. "Hmm-" but he's too cute to say not to so his wallet is pulled out. "Here's five, pick something out for me." </p><p>Dean takes the fresh bill and runs away, down the street to catch up to the truck with the blaring tune. When he returns, he's got two large banana fudge bomb pops. "Thank you-" he mumbles before handing him his change which hes told to pocket for school.</p><p>In the most oblivious way, the boy tries shoving the large pop into his mouth and slurps loudly.</p><p>Castiel tries to ignore the view and the almost pornographic sounds. "These are actually one of my favorites-" his eyes can't help but land on the boy. His plush pink lips wrapped around the ice cream pop that was way too big for his mouth. When his green eyes look up at him, he tears his eyes away. "Good?" he asks, sucking on his own pop mindlessly and trying not make any slurping sounds.</p><p>Dean hums distractedly, managing to suck down half the pop into his mouth at once and Castiel caught the movement. The man is in awe of the boy before him because he can take half that thing into his mouth. Eventually he catches his weird looks and asks, "What-" and wipes his face with his sticky hand. "Is it all over my face?"</p><p>Castiel nods and reaches over, rubbing some of the melted chocolate from the corner of his lip. "There you go-" but that barely did anything to clean the boy up, most of his face was sticky with melted ice cream.</p><p>Dean's cheeks are flushed the lightest shade of pink and he looks away all the while enjoying his cold treat. "Can we have ice cream every day?" the question comes suddenly and Castiel sort of thinks that ice cream, just like all other sweets are hard to come by in the Winchester household.</p><p>"Sure-" he gives the boy a shy smile. "We can have whatever you want, it'll be our secret."</p><p>From this day on Dean and Castiel would start keeping secrets from John Winchester. It started easily enough, but before they both know it they're sharing more than just ice cream behind closed doors. It quickly escalated to an innocent hug here and there, a certain look shared between them or a sweet smile. John never suspected anything and why would he suspect something when Castiel did nothing but treat his son well.</p><p>So what, Castiel treated Dean Winchester well. A little <em>too </em>well, but the man was completely smitten with him and it wasn't totally in a romantic way. Not at all, at least that's not how it began. He was in denial about his feelings for the boy and would be for a more months to come before all hell would break loose.</p><p>A few days later this very same boy heads into the kitchen after a long day of playing outdoors with Sam, who only lived a few streets over. Dean was drenched in either sweat or rain and covered up to his knees in mud. If only his father had been home to see him, things would have ended differently that night. Tears would have been shed and there would have been screaming, from both John and his son.</p><p>Rather than heading straight for the shower, he's opening the cabinet and reaching for a bag of chips. Dean takes the unopened bag to his fathers room to ask for permission and lightly pushes the door open, "Castiel-" </p><p>Castiel quickly covers his exposed lap with the blanket, "Yeah?" his hands are shaking because he'd almost been caught doing something he has no business doing at six in the evening while there's an eleven year old boy roaming about freely. </p><p>Dean blinks and holds up the bag of chips, "Can I open these?" </p><p>Castiel nods, "Of course, but <em>after </em>you get cleaned up-" there's a smile on his face and he's about to stand, but the reminder that hes nude from the waist down keeps him from doing so. "Why don't you go ahead and get in the shower, I'll leave some clothes for you on the counter-"</p><p>Dean groans, "Okayy-" and leaves the room with the unopened bag of chips.</p><p>Castiel manages to pull on his boxers and a pair of dark sweatpants on in hopes that they'll hide his still present erection. The monster in his pants had nothing to do with the boy, or at least he doesn't think so.</p><p>He's a good man and so far nothing sinister about the boy had popped into his head. Maybe a wandering thought or a look, but how can he not <em>look </em>when Dean Winchester is so pretty.</p><p>That boy was sure to be a heart breaker in a few years time, unfortunately the only heart he'd be breaking for many years to come would be <em>his.</em></p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Batman & Robin</h2></a>
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    <p>It's mid November and not much has changed in the Winchester home. John is still sweet on occasion, though he's still rough around the edges more often than not.</p><p>Castiel is watching Dean quite often now too, bless his father for still being the town's drunk because it allows him to have one on one time with his sweet son. He suspects the mechanic is still doing drugs every now and then. <em>Who cares. </em>The more often the man is out of the house and away from them both, the better things are. </p><p>Thanksgiving is approaching fast, and he'll be damned if he doesn't give the boy a good one. He'll make sure there's plenty of food on the table, plenty of laughs too. </p><p>Castiel knows he's in an abusive relationship, how could he not. He's smart, he <em>knows. </em>There's a part of him that doesn't care, because he was completely alone before the Winchesters came into his life. He had no family of his own to speak of before these two handsome devils, now he's got a family. It's not a perfect one, but at least he has one now. It would be perfect though, if it was just Dean and him. </p><p>Life would be great then, but how often does one get everything they want. Rarely, if <em>ever.</em></p><p>When they'd argue, <em>I wish you'd leave us alone!  </em>he would always scream, and the man would clock him one.</p><p>Eventually Castiel finally hit the guy back. It was late and the man was drunk as usual, not like he would remember it in the morning. And he didn't remember, so he started hitting back. Only if he was drunk of course, other wise he'd remember and probably do worse than just hit him. Bruises heal after all, bones do to but it takes much longer and work is far to important to risk having that happen.</p><p>Dean was starting to become more violent himself, he wasn't hitting anyone. The boy would just kick stuff around in his room if he was mad, which was pretty often. Castiel suspected his father was hitting him too and he asked, many times. Dean kept saying <em>no, </em>so there was no other option but to leave the topic alone. </p><p>Castiel is watching Dean play outside on this chilly November day, the temperature finally dropped a few degrees and the trees had finally gone bare. </p><p>"Careful-" he calls out to them.</p><p>The boys were running around the front yard, tackling each other and throwing themselves into large piles of leaves that he'd raked up earlier. He wasn't mad though, it was just leaves. If the boys father had seen this, he'd probably blow a gasket even if he wasn't the one who spent all morning cleaning up the yard. The guy was a total slob but he didn't like it when his son made any kind of mess. </p><p>His eyes are focused on the book he was reading, that's the reason he didn't notice when the boys went to play in the back yard, which was forbidden territory. That's where John kept his old car junk. Old parts and spare tires he couldn't seem to part with no matter how much he was begged to toss every last piece of junk. Castiel hated it all, he got rid of a few things and it earned him a good one in the jaw. </p><p>Castiel looks up when he thinks it's a little to quiet. "Boys-" his eyes are scanning the yard. That's when Dean screams for him from the back yard, and he runs for it. </p><p>"Ow-" he hisses, "Ow-ow-" the boy was laying on the grass, face first.</p><p>He quickly rushes over and crouches down, not daring to move him. "What happened?-" his eyes are deathly focused on the slightly older boy.</p><p>Sam looks at the old tool shed, "He wanted to jump-"</p><p>"Damn it, Dean-" Castiel whispers, inspecting the boys arm. "-it looks fractured."</p><p>"Ah- ah-" Dean whimpers, biting his lip. "Please don't touch-"</p><p>"I'm going to take to take you to the hospi-"</p><p>"No!" Dean yells right in his ear, hugging his left arm to his body protectively and wincing at the sharp pain shooting up and down.</p><p>Castiel brushes against the injured arm by accident when he helps him off the ground, the white hot pain that shoots up his entire body is enough to have him agreeing to another hospital trip.</p><p>After dropping Sam off at home, they head over to the hospital and Dean wasn't happy about it- he'd been in the backseat, staring daggers at him through the rear view mirror.</p><p>It's the first time the boys been mad at him like this and he can't take it, "They're just going to put a cast on-"</p><p>Dean looks down at his limp arm that rests against his lap"-but I don't wanna go." the car's tires go over a pot hole and it hurts the boys arm once again. "Agh-Fuck-" he curses softly.</p><p>"Excuse me?" Castiel says as he drives. "What was that?" eyes fixed on the rear view mirror, watching the boy in the back seat.</p><p>"Nothing-" he says that softly too.</p><p>"Don't use that word in front of your dad-" he warns.</p><p>Dean grumbles with attitude, "-but you say it all the time."</p><p>"When?" Castiel is defensive because he hasn't used the curse word in front of him- not once.</p><p>"At night-" Dean's still hugging his arm, "-you keep saying <em>fuck."  </em>and Castiel knows exactly in what context he uses the word, he just hadn't thought the boy could hear it. </p><p>"I won't say it anymore." he pulls into an empty parking lot, right in front of the hospital. </p><p>Dean doesn't believe that because the word <em>fuck </em>seems to be his favorite late at night when he's <em>supposed </em>to be sleeping. Actually, his limited vocabulary has expanded tremendously since his fathers friend moved in. </p><p>They walk silently side by side through those hospital door that opens as soon as you step on the black rug in front of it. Dean always liked doors that open for you on their own, thinking it was really cool not to have to touch door handles because- <em>germs, ew.</em> </p><p>A nurse writes down his weight and height, then takes his blood pressure on his good arm before a doctor comes in.  The doctor asks how he hurt his arm and what had be been doing beforehand. He hadn't wanted to order an x-ray since it would only add to the hospital bill, so a cast was in order since his arm didn't appear to be broken. </p><p>Castiel tells the doctor, "Thank you." who he actually happened to know quite well and he was good at his job too. "We'll be leaving soon-" he tries to say, hoping to get in good with the boy.</p><p>"I want chicken nuggets-" he says somberly, his eyes the same shade of pale pink as his lips.</p><p>Castiel sighs, "Of course." and walks up to the hospital bed where the boy had been sitting with his legs wide open. He stands between his open legs, briefly running his fingers through the light brown hair for the first time in hopes of comforting him. "Sorry-" he quickly stops and takes a seat on one of the chairs in the room.</p><p>When Dean gets his cast on, he screams in pain. Castiel knows that the child screaming down the hall of the ER is Dean and it saddens him, they wouldn't let him along for moral support because he wasn't the father. But he sure will be paying the hospital like he was though, which seems unfair. When it's over and done with, Dean's escorted back into the ER room looking pretty traumatized.</p><p>"Castiel-" he runs up to him and cries in his arms.</p><p>"Shh, you're okay-" he lifts the boy up into his arms for the first time and carries him all the way back to the car.</p><p>After getting Dean his well deserved happy meal, they head home. Once the boy is done eating Castiel brings him some Motrin for the pain in his arm.</p><p>Castiel could tell he was keeping it in his mouth so he could spit it out when he turned his back. "Swallow it." </p><p>Dean swallows the medicine against his will, "Bleh-" and sticks his pink tongue out.</p><p>They settle on the sofa, which would be the boys bed for the night since he wasn't doing so well just yet. Dean becomes sleepy after a while of watching random stuff on the television, his head slowly comes to rest on the older man's shoulder. Castiel smiles, letting his chin rest on top of the boys head. He could stay like this forever and would have been beyond lucky to call Dean his son. Soon, he drifts off to sleep.</p><p>The boy in his arms stirs in his sleep, "I'm cold-" Castiel wraps an arm around him, only to keep him warm. "Can you make hot chocolate-'</p><p>Castiel laughs softly, "Sure." and he slowly gets up from the sofa, from underneath the boy. He's in the kitchen putting enough milk for two to boil on a small pot when Dean walks in to join him, taking a seat at the table. </p><p>"Don't forget marshmallows-" he yawns into his hand. "It's the best part."</p><p>Castiel smiles to himself as he stirs in the chocolate powder into the milk, when it's bubbling up he pours it into two mugs. "How's that arm feel?" he sets the boys mug of hot chocolate in front of him before taking a seat at the table as well. "Still hurts?"</p><p>Dean blows on his chocolate, "A little-" they make eye contact. "How am I gonna play soccer in gym-" then his eyes focus on the black cast on his arm.</p><p>"I'll write you a note-" he fully intended to forge John's signature. The boy nods, taking small sips of the warm drink. "-after you finish that, you should take a shower before bed. You have school tomorrow-"</p><p>"But how-" he holds up his bad arm, luckily his arm hadn't been broken just hurt.</p><p>"Right-" Castiel gulps down his chocolate. "I can help you in the shower-" and he's not looking forward to that because he's never seen a child naked and he doesn't want to. This is John's duty and yet it's something else he has to do himself. "I'll get your pajamas ready-" he gets up and goes to the boys bedroom to get everything ready.</p><p>Castiel is sitting on the toilet, with the lid closed of course while he waits for the boy to come in. Eventually he does and he's got a chocolate mustache above his lip, it makes him smile. "Okay-" he says casually, "-let's get this done." he turns on the water, running his hand under the spray to check it's temperature. Not too cold, not too hot. "Perfect." he hadn't noticed the boy behind him undressing though and when he finally turns around, he's suddenly nervous.</p><p>Dean's trying to scratch underneath his cast, too distracted to notice the man's eyes are on him. He looks up, "It itches, Castiel-"</p><p>Castiel swallows, "Get <em>in</em>-" his voice cracks. "Hold this arm up-" he gestures to the arm with the cast. </p><p>"My wash is under there-" the boy innocently points to the cabinet under the bathroom sink with his good arm. Castiel reaches under the sink and finds a bottle of bubble bath. </p><p>Castiel smiles warmly, pouring some on a loofah for the boy and when he's given the loofah he just stares at him. "Right, I keep forgetting you're handicapped-" he jokes and Dean is uncomfortably silent while he washes the boys hairless body. He runs the loofah over every inch of his skin, avoiding his butt and privates of course. "You can wash there yourself, can't you?"</p><p>"Yea, I can wash-" Dean takes the loofah and soaps up his privates and his bottom, once in a while he looks up to make sure the older man is still there with him. "I'm done-" he hands it back.</p><p>Castiel takes the loofah, squeezing out the excess lather until it's clean and he hangs it up on one of the shower handles. Then, he grabs some of that same bubble bath and begins to lather it into the boys light brown hair. "Close your eyes." he tells him, and the boy obeys. All he can focus on is those thick let lashes over his baby cheeks. "I'll be right back-" </p><p>When he comes back he's got the boys Batman cup in his hand so he can use it to rinse the boys hair off. "Hope you don't mind-" Dean opens his eyes to see that his favorite cut now had a new use. He shrugs, closing his eyes again. "I think we're all done here. Can you rinse yourself off-" he gestures to his privates and bottom.</p><p>"I can rinse-" Dean does the same thing as he had done with the loofah, he's rinsing those parts off with water and occasionally looks up to make sure that the man is still there. "I'm done-"</p><p>"Good job-" Castiel chuckles nervously and makes quick work of shutting off the water and drying the boy off. "Dry that really good-" he gestures to his privates. "I'll get your pajamas ready." he turns around to grab the pajamas from the sinks counter while the boy dries his lower half off. </p><p>"Ready-" Dean drops the towel on the floor and Castiel helps him step into his Hulk underwear, then his pajama pants, and his shirt. </p><p>Castiel had been good throughout all of this, did his best not to look where he shouldn't. But when those green eyes look up at him in wonder, it makes butterflies buzz around in his stomach and he assumes it's just because he likes the kid so much, as if he were his own son. "Cutie-" he remains crouched down on his knees and towels dries the boys hair. </p><p>"Agh-" Dean groans, trying to get away.</p><p>Soon, he's tucked into bed and he's looking up at the man in wonder once again. "-can you read to me?" and he points to his backpack that was hanging off the chair in his room. "-my book is in there."</p><p>"Sure." Castiel grabs the book from his backpack and sits down on the edge of the twin bed. It was a Goosebumps book, "This wont give you nightmares?" </p><p>Dean shakes his head, moving over to one side of the bed to make more room for the older man. "No, I like it-" Castiel opens the book and is about to begin reading when the boy says. "You have to get in-" </p><p>Castiel sees that the boy is holding up the covers for him, "Sure-" he doesn't want to get under there with him- but he does anyway. "Okay-" he sighs, before he begins to read the book from the beginning.</p><p>They get halfway through the large print chapter book when he realizes that the boy has fallen asleep, facing the wall on his side. Castiel carefully shimmies out of the bed and puts the book back into his backpack before exiting the room. </p><p>His heart is pounding in his chest like he's just run a mile. He takes a deep breath and tries to calm himself, that's when the door slams shut. There's nowhere to hide now that the boys father is home, so he does his best to sneak into bed like he'd been there the whole time and wait for his lover to join him in the bedroom. </p><p>Castiel hopes the mechanic will be too drunk to pay any attention to him and just pass out in their bed. Luckily enough, that's exactly what ends up happening when he walks into the room.</p><p>The bed dips on the opposite end and the sound of his snoring is quickly heard in the silence of the bedroom. Castiel looks over to see John completely passed out drunk, and he gets up to check on the mans son one more time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Boy Things</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel's sitting on the porch, enjoying the beautiful Autumn evening until a certain boy comes outside to join him. "Hey-" he smiles, closing the book that was on his lap because there's suddenly something more interesting in front of him.</p><p>"I need stuff for a project-" and he looks ashamed to even be asking. "-I don't wanna tell dad about it, he just get's mad-"</p><p>"I'll take you shopping tomorrow after school." Castiel smiles sadly, "He's pretty scary huh?" the boy nods. "He scares me too. Listen, why don't you go inside and I'll make us some cookies."</p><p>The boy rushes inside the house and Castiel sighs, closing his eyes just for a minute before heading inside. When he walks into the kitchen he sees the boy trying to open the package of cookie dough with his one good arm and failing miserably at the test. Castiel surprises the boy from behind, taking the unopened cookie dough from him.</p><p>"I'll open it. Why don't you get the cookie sheet out, and some butter-" the boy makes quick work of doing as he's told. Castiel will never tire of this, "We grease the sheet with butter so the cookies don't stick-" he informs the boy while they work together in the dimly lit kitchen.</p><p>Once the cookies are in the oven, baking, Dean keeps leaving the table where he was doing his homework to check on them. Every minute or so, he's getting up and pressing his nose into the ovens small window to have a peek inside and whines loudly when they still look like brown mush.</p><p>"Are they done yet-" he asks from where he's crouched down right in front of the oven.</p><p>"I didn't preheat the oven so maybe twenty minutes-" Castiel says distractedly from where he was sat the table as well, eyes glued to the computer screen. </p><p>"Has it been twenty minutes?" he looks over his shoulder innocently, knowing it has not even been fifteen minutes.</p><p>Castiel gets up so he can look at the cookies from the ovens window, "Actually, they look done. Back up-" and the boy gives him some room so he open the ovens door, "They're done-" the aroma of chocolate chip cookies wafts into the air almost instantly, blanketing the home in the lovely warm scent. "We have to wait until they cool down before we can try them-"</p><p>Dean goes to sit down again, in front of his school workbook and every two minutes his eyes glance at the plate of cookies at the center of the table. It looked like he really wanted one. "Now?" his voice sounds impatient.</p><p>"Sure-" Castiel reaches over and puts one on a napkin so the boy doesn't burn his fingers. "Blow on it-" and he does, blows on it a few times before finally taking a bite. "How'd we do?"</p><p>Dean's chewing, eyes closed, before they open wide suddenly. "MMM!" </p><p>"Hmm, let me see how we did with these-" Castiel grabs one for himself, taking a bite. "We did good-" they high five like dorks. The front door slams shut and they both know John is home, <em>great- </em>though Dean wasn't bothered by his presence like he seemed to be. </p><p>"You turn into Martha fucking Stewart or what?" The mechanic laughs after seeing the home made cookies on the table. Castiel ignores the comment and just watches his dirty hands grab a few cookies before going to the bedroom. </p><p>"Who is Martha Stewart?" Dean asks, now on his third cookie. "Can I have milk-" his mind just jumps from one topic to the next.</p><p>Castiel rubs a hand down his face in annoyance. "She cooks on television-" he gets up to grab the milk carton from the fridge, then pours the boy a big glass of milk to wash down all that baked sugar.</p><p>After the cookies had been polished off, Castiel helps Dean shower and this time it wasn't so weird. They talked and made jokes while they got his body nice and clean. If only Dean Winchester would stop looking up at him through his thick lashes with the prettiest green eyes ever, he might be able to do this every single night. But it's unlikely, the seems to enjoy staring at him. </p><p>Those eyes affect him more than his nude body does, which he makes sure not to look at directly. Especially down <em>there, </em>perhaps eye contact isn't the worst thing.</p><p>"So-" Castiel says, toweling off the boys hair while he groans in agony because it sort of hurts his head. "-thanksgiving is coming up."</p><p>Dean holds onto the towel around his waist, "Finally-" he winces, then asks, "-are we having pie?" suddenly intrigued by the holiday.</p><p>"Of course-" Castiel assures the boy. "It wouldn't be thanksgiving without it." and he must love pie because he smiles sweetly. "You can read for a little bit, but I want you asleep within the hour-"</p><p>Dean nods and waddles to his room, towel still wrapped around his waist. The boy finally figured out how to dress himself with an injured arm. Well, he mostly wore his underwear and a big shirt to bed now anyways.</p><p>The next day Castiel got off work early and as promised, goes to Dean's school to pick him up at exactly four in the afternoon. It looked like it would rain any second, though he's hoping it doesn't. When the boy emerges from the building with his friend Sam, he honks at them. Dean quickly says bye to his friend before running up to the car and he ran extra fast because the sky was rumbling in warning.</p><p>Rain wasn't so scary on it's own, but thunder always had Dean hiding under the covers in fear. It was always so loud, so sudden. </p><p>"How was school today?" Castiel asks while driving carefully through the after school traffic, really just wanting to get to the store already so they can make it home before the storm hits.</p><p>"I passed my test-" he smiles proudly while digging into his overfilled backpack for the exam so he could show him.</p><p>"That's great-" he smiles after taking a quick glance at the paper in the boys chubby hand and pulls into a parking space as close to the front of the store.</p><p>The rain began to pelt down onto the earth in sheets so Castiel rushes to open Dean's door and does something that surprised even himself. He hauls the boy into his arms and jogs all the way inside the store. Dean had wrapped his legs around his waist, which goes unnoticed the whole time. "You didn't get wet did you-" he asks, putting him down on his feet after finally noticing he was being clung to.</p><p>Dean softly says, "A little-" and he holds Castiel's hand briefly, until the man grabs a shopping cart. That also had been a first and Castiel wonders why he even held his hand in the first place. They were getting close, but they certainly weren't <em>that </em>close.</p><p>They're making their way through the almost empty store when Dean almost trips over his untied shoelace. "Careful-" he crouches down and ties it for him. "Hurry, let's go find what you need-" </p><p>Dean follows closely next to the older man and when they get to the school supplies, he quickly grabs the markers that were needed, glue and a poster board. "I'm done-" his voice was so soft yet somehow sounding louder than ever in the silent store. He was so shy about grabbing the things he needed because Castiel was going to obviously pay for it all.</p><p>"Why don't you grab a few of those-" he gestures to the poster boards, "I'm sure this won't be the last project you'll need to do this year." and he does, he grabs at least four of them to keep in his room, just in case. "Let me get a few things we need for the house-" </p><p>The boy follows him as he grabs toilet paper, paper towels, hand soap and various other household essentials. Somehow they end up in the baby section and Dean notices how Castiel paused to look at baby clothes for girls.</p><p>"Castiel-" he says, full of confusion because <em>he </em>wasn't a girl and definitely not a baby. His mind can't wrap around why the man is trying to pick out baby clothes for him. At least he thinks it's for him, there were no other kids in the mans life as far as he knew.</p><p>Castiel wasn't paying attention to him because his eyes were glued to a pair of pink overalls that had little hears on them. <em>Claire.. </em>When he looks up after putting the overalls back on the display, he sees those green eyes staring at him and tries to backtrack. "Aren't these cute-" he asks, looking around casually like he hadn't just been reminiscing the daughter that was taken away from him many years ago. </p><p>Dean shrugs, not really caring about baby stuff and why would he. He's only eleven years old. "Can we go-" his tone is weirdly impatient.</p><p>Castiel nods, pushing the cart to the check out lanes. "Grab some candy if you want-" he says, gesturing to the candy bars near them.</p><p>Dean grabbed one bar of chocolate and would have grabbed more, but he was feeling a strange sad feeling. He really didn't like that Castiel was admiring baby stuff, because he wanted to be the baby, even if he wasn't exactly Castiel's. The weird jealousy sits with him on the car ride home and his young mind couldn't comprehend such a feeling.</p><p>Castiel asks, "You okay?" during dinner because the boy hasn't said anything at all since the store, not one word.</p><p>Dean shrugs again, still upset about what happened at the store. "Do you want a baby?" his eyes are cast downwards in an odd shame. It's something he hasn't ever felt before, sure, he's been jealous in the past but it's usually over video games or comic books that his friend.</p><p>The question takes him completely off guard, he laughs nervously. "Why would you ask me that?" his fork is lightly stabbing at the mashed potatoes on his plate.</p><p>The boy sniffles, "You were looking at baby stuff-"</p><p>"Because baby stuff is cute-" he says with a smile, "Besides, I feel like I have a son already." they make eye contact. "You."</p><p>"But I'm not a baby-" Dean defends himself awkwardly, "-and I'm <em>not </em>a girl."</p><p>"But you <em>are</em> a really cute boy that I just can't get enough off-" he gets up from the table and begins tickling Dean, who quickly begins giggling uncontrollably. "-I could just eat you up-" he starts kissing and blowing raspberries on the boys cheeks which makes makes him laugh even more. </p><p>They hadn't heard John come in with all the laughing going on in the kitchen. Castiel doesn't stop what he's doing until his gruff voice says, "Quit it before he pees all over himself-"</p><p>Castiel instantly stops, "I-I didn't hear you come in-" and his heart is racing, suddenly feeling he'd gotten caught doing something really horrible to the mans son.</p><p>Dean's panting in his chair, huffing and puffing after the surprise tickles.</p><p>"Good for you-" John opens the fridge to pull out a beer and some of yesterdays take out left overs. Castiel is nervous and he doesn't know why, but the man didn't seem bothered by what he had walked into. "Heat this in the microwave for me will ya, I need to get in the shower-" and he's gone, down the hall.</p><p>Castiel microwaves the left overs for the man and the whole time he's occasionally glancing over at the boy on the table, who had resumed eating his dinner like nothing ever happened. The only evidence of what occurred was the faint rosy blush on his cute cheeks.</p><p>When their eyes meet Dean says, "Dad's right-" and swallows the food in his mouth. "I was gonna pee my pants-" he hiccups, "I almost peed-"</p><p>"It won't do that again, I'm sorry-" Castiel's filled with guilt as he makes quick work of putting John's food on a plate, when he turns around again he catches the boy rubbing his face with a napkin where he had playfully kissed him.</p><p>The following day Dean takes the bus home and is surprised to that Castiel was already there. "You're home already-" he softy says, dropping his backpack by the front door.</p><p>"I got out early-" he was making a few sandwiches on the kitchen counter. "Sit down-" </p><p>Dean takes his usual seat and quickly digs into the ham and cheese sandwich, his favorite. Castiel toasted the bread and put it in the microwave to have the cheese all gooey just the way he liked it. "Mm-mm-mm-" he sings, almost dancing in his seat. When he notices blue eyes on him, the happy dance ends abruptly like he was going to be in trouble for something</p><p>"Tomorrow you don't have school-" he says almost angrily, not knowing why.</p><p>Dean gulps down some of his juice, "But I still have to do my project-" he burps into his hand. "I need to go to the library-" and his statements always sound like open ended questions. Probably because John Winchester never said yes to anything.</p><p>Castiel smiles, "Ill take you on the way to the store. I still have some shopping to do before Thanksgiving-" Dean looks at him curiously. "Well, I need to get you a pie." he laughs, "What kind of pie would you like anyway?"</p><p>Dean thinks about it and looks up at the ceiling as if trying to decide on something life altering. "Apple pie-" then changes his mind instantly. "-no, Cherry pie-wait, I want apple pie."</p><p>"How about both?" Castiel suggests, loving the internal struggle on the boys face. "-that way, you won't have to choose."</p><p>"Okay-" he gulps down his juice until his cup is empty. "Can I call uncle Bobby on the phone-" </p><p>Castiel dismisses the boy, "Go ahead, I have chores to do." and gets to work on the dishes, laundry and everything else that needed to get done.</p><p>He was beginning to think how unfair it was that he had to play God with people's lives at work, and still come home to do all the housework. The dishes weren't half way done when the front door slams shut, alerting him that the mechanic was home and sends off a quick prayer to the Lord above to give him the strength to deal with the man tonight. </p><p>The television in the living room flips on before John finally walks into the kitchen for his evening beer and a snack. "Hey-" and Castiel simply hums at his entrance. "How about I take you out tonight?" </p><p>Castiel looks over his shoulder, "Take me where?"</p><p>John shrugs and comes over, hugging him loosely from behind. "Maybe the bar-" Castiel snorts. "-or somewhere else." </p><p>He thinks about it, "I guess I could use a drink-" and turns around to face the older man. "What about Dean?"</p><p>"We'll be just around the corner-" he rolls his eyes and lets go of Castiel. "-the kid's got a cell phone now so if anything happens, he'll call." he can see the doctor debating in his mind if they should go or not. "You don't go anywhere but the hospital- come on." and he finally nods in agreement, "Go get dressed, I'll tell Dean we're goin' out."</p><p>Castiel goes to the bedroom to slip on a fresh pair of dark wash jeans and a black sweater. He's tying his boots when John comes into the room, and whistles. "Nice baby-"</p><p>"Please don't ridicule me-" he drags himself to the bathroom to spray some cologne, because this wasn't something he wanted to do but it was better than any other alternatives.</p><p>Dean was completely fine with their outing and was instructed to call in case of any emergency, though Castiel was still on the fence about leaving him alone.</p><p>Since the bar was so damn close, they walk side by side down the street in the darkness that was only lit up by the occasional porch light being left on. It surprises Castiel when John's heavy arm wraps around his neck possessively and he really liked that. It's not always that he feels protected or <em>safe </em>with John Winchester and right now, he was feeling pretty fucking safe. </p><p>Once inside the bar, Castiel sit's down at a table near the back while John orders their beers and a basket of wings to share. His eyes look around in instant boredom, all he wants to do is go home and get to sleep. A long day awaits him tomorrow- he's got to take Dean to the library for God only knows what, he forgot to ask. Not to mention going to the store to find two different kinds of pie, if there's any left that is. Leaving things to the last minute was a mistake, surely the stores would be crowded tomorrow and the <em>traffic. </em></p><p>Castiel has to chug half his beer in one go too keep himself from feeling stressed. He always hated how easily he got stressed or worried, it's a damn miracle how he even got through so many years of school but it's not like quitting was a choice. He had nowhere else to go, success was the only option for him and it's not like there was anything to go back home too.</p><p>John asks suddenly, "Cas, how you doin'-" because he doesn't like being ignored. "We hardly ever talk-"</p><p>Castiel shrugs and mindlessly licks the sauce off his fingers and can't remember when he had began eating the wings in front of him. His mind was racing a mile a minute with his to do list and background noise that never leaves him alone. Eventually saying, "Fine, I guess-" because he can't tell the man that he's hanging on by a thread.</p><p>Castiel can't afford to fall apart, literally. Both John and his son depend on him, but the only one he minds is John. It's quiet enough in the bar, only a few people left before last call so John scoots his chair over to the doctor. His hand begins to rub up and down the smaller mans thigh.</p><p>Instantly that grabs Castiel's attention, "What are you doing?" and looks down at the large hand on his lap.</p><p>"You always look so pretty in the dark-" John rasps in his ear and the younger man instantly melts. As soon as he looks up, he's kissing him sweetly on the lips.</p><p>"Mm-" Castiel hums softly when their tongues meet, always has been such a sucker for making out. "John-" he whispers after pulling away, chest rising and falling heavily. </p><p>"Meet me in the bathroom-" he whispers before downing the rest of his beer and making his way to the men's room.</p><p>It was almost closing time so he didn't know what could possibly be accomplished in there. Castiel pushes the door open, "John?" his voice is extremely raspy. The older man locks the door and shoves him into one of the only two stalls, kissing him frantically. "Fuck-" he curses because a heavy hand was rubbing deliciously on his crotch.</p><p>They're making out like teenagers until someone bangs on the door saying, "We're closing!" </p><p>They part, panting into each others faces. "Gonna fuck you so good-" John licks his lips. </p><p>Castiel almost squeals when he says, "You're it!" and runs out of the bars bathroom.</p><p>John fixes himself in his jeans before running after the doctor. When he exits the bathroom, he's not there. "Son of a bitch-" and quickly exits the lonely bar, "Wait!" Castiel was rounding the corner into their neighborhood already. When he finally makes it to the house he sees the guy waiting for him by the mailbox. "I'm gonna get you!" </p><p>Castiel actually yelps in fear and clumsily runs inside the home as fast he can. "Come here, bitch!" he roars playfully. Castiel had made it into the bedroom safely, and he knows this because the door had been closed when he'd left it open before leaving. "I know where you are-" he calls out darkly before he lets himself into the room, closing and locking the door behind him.</p><p>Dean stirs awake on his bed after hearing the two men yelling and things begin crashing or falling to the floor. He yawns into his hand loudly before getting up to investigate the noises. He hears Castiel grunting the word <em>Fuck.. </em>over and over again. Dean tries the doorknob but it's locked, "Dad, Castiel-" he says softly, too softly so they didn't hear him.</p><p>He listens for a while, with his hear pressed to the door and assumes they're fighting again, given the language that the two men are using. <em>Bitch.. cunt.. slut.. fuck.. shit.. damn. </em>The name calling dies down eventually, so does every other noise that he'd been hearing from behind the locked door. When heavy footsteps begin pacing around the room, he makes a run for it and goes to hide under the covers in his bed.</p><p>Dean hears them laughing in the hallway a few minutes later. "Dad-" he calls out pretty loudly. John opens the door, peeking inside to see what his son could possibly want at this hour.  The man simply tells him to brush his fucking teeth and get to bed already.</p><p>Since he's got a cast on, it's hard to do anything and that's why it's taking him forever in the bathroom. Castiel walks by, the door had been left wide open so he can see the boy in there. "Hey-" he gives the struggling boy a goofy grin.</p><p>Dean quickly notices that he's half naked and his hair was a mess, "What's going on-" </p><p>Castiel can't think of anything because his brain is still scrambled from that one beer. "-we were wrestling." the lie comes easily.</p><p>Dean smiles, "Can we wrestle too?"</p><p>Castiel blinks rapidly as if to repel any unwanted images of wrestling with the boy. "No, not this kind of wrestling-" he says before closing the bathroom door, then he reopens it. "I need to take a shower-" he looks down at the boy expectantly who is now rushing to put away his toothbrush so he can go to his room. Once the coast is clear of any children, he slides out of his boxers before getting into the shower.</p><p>The warm water hitting his body feels good and he's taking his sweet time lathering his sore body. John enters the bathroom, "Got room for me in here?" the burgundy shower curtain draws back to reveal the older man.</p><p>Castiel pulls him inside without hesitation and shoves his tongue into the scruffy mans mouth. "I enjoy kissing you-" for a moment, Dean's pretty pink lips pop into his mind and he pulls away, shaking the mental image away. He's a good man, he's not sick and he's completely positive that he's not into kids in <em>that </em>way. A wave of disgust washes over him, maybe it's the beer or maybe it's the mans child running around uninvited in his mind.</p><p>"You okay?" John whispers. Castiel nods but no, he isn't okay. "Guess I shouldn't have you let you drink-"</p><p>"Yeah-" he laughs nervously. "Maybe you shouldn't have-" they don't resume their make out session, instead he helps John wash his back before they head to bed.</p><p>Dean couldn't fall asleep that night, at least not right when he got into bed. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling fan above him, watching it go round and round for who knows how long. His stomach growls eventually so he gets up and tip toes into the kitchen, the light was already on. Castiel was leaning against the counter eating something, but he couldn't tell what it was.</p><p>"I'm hungry-" he says quietly, which grabs the attention of the older man who hadn't noticed him walk in until just then. Castiel doesn't say anything, just moves away so the boy can do his thing. Dean looks at him every once in a while as he makes himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a single slice of bread. The guy looked drunk so he comments on it. "Are you drunk?"</p><p>Castiel shakes his head, eyes half open. "Just tired, don't stay up to late-" and just like that, he's shuffling down the hall and into the bedroom. </p><p>When Dean opens his eyes in the morning, the blurry silhouette of his fathers friend is hovering above him. </p><p>"Wake up-" Castiel beams down at him, completely sober. "We have plans today-" a look of confusion is displayed on the boys face. "Library, remember?"</p><p>Dean lets himself be pulled out of bed and is helped into some jeans and a sweater while his eyes are still half closed. Though when they stop by McDonald's for breakfast, he quickly perks up and digs into his food right there in the car on their way to the library. Perhaps he ate a little too fast, because by the time they get to the libraries parking lot his stomach begins to feel funny. </p><p>They sit down at an empty computer when Castiel says, "You had to print something, right?" in a distracted tone while looking through the boys school papers.</p><p>Dean nods while the man ends up doing all the work. It's not like he asked him to do all the research for him, but he's not going to ask him to stop. Really, this project wasn't something he was enjoying anyway, he'd much rather go find a new book. Castiel is typing away on the keyboard and he sighs longingly while watching him work. Yet it's not understandable why he sighs in such a way. All that is clear is that It's the same feeling he gets when there's a slice of warm pie placed in front of him. </p><p>The look of concentration on the mans face peeks his curiosity in a strange way. He never seems to get bored of watching Castiel, like ever. If he had a filter he might not stare so much, but he just can't help it. Dean likes to stare at him and will keep doing it until he's told to stop. His eyes wander from the man by his side, to his feet lightly kicking under the large wooden desk.</p><p>"We're all set-" he gets up abruptly and walks over to the printer.</p><p>Dean startles because he'd been daydreaming the whole time it seems and quickly makes his way around to the back of the library, to the horror books. Castiel stuffs the papers into the folder they'd brought and follows the boy to where he'd gone off too.</p><p>"How lovely-" Castiel picks up a book with a very disturbing book cover. "Shouldn't you be reading-" he pauses, putting the book back on the shelf. "I don't know, something kid friendly?" </p><p>Dean shrugs, "I like these-"</p><p>Castiel ignores him, "Let's go look at something more appropriate-" and guides the boy by the shoulders to the children's books. "Here-" he picks one up randomly. "This looks great." </p><p>There was a picture book in the mans large hand and Dean wasn't impressed.  "I'm not a baby-" he says with a little attitude before walks off towards the double doors that lead you out of the library. </p><p>Castiel goes after him and says, "I wasn't saying you were a baby-" after they both make it outside. "I know you're not a baby."</p><p>Dean's confused because he can't comprehend why this man cares so much about if he's upset or not. The guy isn't his dad or anything, <em>why does he care so much?  </em>He looks up at the older man and shrugs because what else is he going to do. Castiel is weird and cares too much about him for some reason and it all feels weird right now.</p><p>"Wanna go home-" he looks down at his sneakers. "My stomach feels funny-"</p><p>"Of course, let's go home-" </p><p>Castiel Novak has given Dean Winchester butterflies for the first time in his life and they both had mistaken the feeling for a stomach ache. They hold hands all the way to the car, which wasn't even parked that far to begin with but Dean had reached for Castiel's hand and he wasn't going to turn it down for anything. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Grateful For Pie</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Regardless of the Thanksgiving holiday, John heads to the shop and it's not like Castiel minds. The day is spent preparing the food and getting everything ready for dinner, which is an easy task with the helping hands of Dean Winchester. The boy added the butter to the mashed potatoes and stirred them carefully as to not spill any. Many laughs and giggles were shared between the two throughout the day.</p><p>As the sun's last rays of light peek in through the kitchen window, it becomes very clear that John might not come home for Thanksgiving dinner. The boy begins to nag Castiel about it, begging him to call his father and tell him to hurry home because he was hungry. The man is almost demonic when angry, so of course he hadn't wanted to begin their feast without him.</p><p>Castiel yells, "Hey!" harshly at the boy who kicks the front door after opening it for the third time to check if his dad was back yet. "Don't do that-" then it softens after seeing his frightened look. It was the first time he had ever raised his voice at the boy and instantly feels guilty about it.</p><p>The day had not been an easy one, having to get it all ready for a man who might not even come home. He knew this, he knows John must be at the bar down the street drinking himself to the brink of sickness, he just didn't have the heart to tell his son that. He'd been so excited the whole day and had helped out so much. The reason for his anger was completely understood.</p><p>Dean squeals, "Why isn't he home!" </p><p>Castiel's shoulders go up as if to somehow shield himself from the boys screeching. The door slams shut right then, "Ask him yourself-" and the mechanic walks right into the kitchen, instantly sensing all the tension between them.</p><p>"What?" he says before sitting down. "I just got off work." </p><p>Castiel sighs, "Your son wanted you home two hours ago-" and begins serving the man, then his son. Like always, he comes last. After taking his seat, "Dean, now you can eat."</p><p>The boy smiles before picking up his fork and stuffing the buttery mush into his mouth. "Mmm-" he hums, reaching for the basket of rolls at the center of the table. "Castiel-" he whimpers, unable to reach it.</p><p>John shoves the basket towards his son, "Castiel this, Castiel that-" his tone is a mocking one. "Shut up-" </p><p>Castiel refuses to get in the middle of whatever this is because it's no secret that they've been getting closer. John has noticed it and has been jealous about it, thinking his own son loves his <em>friend </em>more than him. Dinner is eaten in silence with the occasional joke that Dean tries to tell, which Castiel is the only one who forces a laugh so that he doesn't feel bad because some of his jokes just aren't that funny.</p><p>When it's time for pie though, Dean lights up like a Christmas tree. A small slices of cherry and apple pie are placed in front of him at the table along with a helping of vanilla ice cream. For the first time ever, the boy looks up and yells "Thank you, Jesus!" and it's spoken in such a funny tone that both men laugh for the first time that night. Now that</p><p>Castiel thinks about it, he wonders if the boy knows anything at all about <em>God </em>or <em>Jesus. </em>The Winchesters didn't seem like the religious type, but at least he was thankful for something. Even if it was just <em>pie. </em></p><p>After three helpings of food, John falls asleep on the living room couch with an empty glass of whiskey in his hand while Castiel retreats to the bedroom for bed. It's not long before the mans son pads into the room, asking to come inside ever so softly which he agrees to. Dean climbs up into the bed and snuggles into him, all on his own. Castiel tries to keep himself calm, yet one of his hands rests lightly on the boys upper back.</p><p>"Turkey was good?" his words are spoken softly, like he might spook the boy if he speaks any louder.</p><p>Dean looks up at him, then smiles softly with a gentle nod. </p><p>Castiel gives him a toothy grin, "Good-" the television is on but neither are watching it and his fingertips begin to lazily run up and down the boys back. "You know, it's passed your bedtime-" The boy looks up at him again, bottom lip sucked into his mouth and he swallows. "Go to bed, before your dad wakes up-"</p><p>Dean replies softly, "Okay-" and scoots to the edge of the bed to jump down, but not before the older man hauls him back aggressively into his embrace. He squeals, the back of his neck is now being kissed playfully but roughly and fingers press into his sides to keep him in place. He looks over his shoulder, panting. "That tickles-"</p><p>Castiel breathes in his scent longingly, <em>berries </em><em>, </em>and is unaware of what exactly he's longing for. The grip on the boys squishy sides eases, "Leave now, you'll regret it if you don't-" and it sounded more threatening that he meant it. "Go-" he orders softly against the back of his neck. </p><p>Dean hops off the bed after a whimper of defiance, only looking back once to see the man on the bed looking at him like a midnight snack. He doesn't understand what happened, but he feels hot and squirmy on the inside. </p><p>As soon as the door closes behind the shy boy, Castiel leans back and his hand begins to wander down to his crotch. He palms himself over the thick material of his warm pajama pants for a while and it's so good since it's been a long time since he's jacked off. The door creaks open and fully expects to see Dean once again, but it was the boys father instead. A smile forms on his lips because he really needs to kiss someone right now and who better than him.</p><p>"Kiss me-" he rasps quietly, hand still working himself over his clothing. </p><p>John smiles drunkenly, "Feeling frisky huh-" and climbs over him, grinding into the younger mans slender but fit body. "You're so hard-" he groans before going for his own belt.</p><p>Castiel moans, "I know-" and takes over the task of removing the mechanics belt. "I want to-" his blue eyes peek up through his lashes. "Can I?" the older man nods, knowing that he would be absolutely insane to turn down a blowjob.</p><p>After leaning forward, he takes the whole thing into his mouth, moaning because he really wishes for something else. What that might be? it's still unclear. What he might possibly want is right across the hall, laying underneath batman covers in a twin bed only fit for a child.</p><p>"Mmm-" he moans again, all kinds of filthy sounds can be heard in the quiet room right then. It must excite the mechanic because he then man handles him onto his back and yanks off his pajama pants along with his boxers. "Yeah, fuck me-"</p><p>"Was going to, sweetheart-" the southern drawl always makes him weak and John knows this. "Ready for me?" he's rolling on a condom and spitting on his hand to use as lube. "Legs open baby-"</p><p>Castiel's eyes flutter before scrambling to obey and once his thighs are spread apart, the man hooks his hands under his knees to bring him up and bends him in half. "Ughh-" he groans at the stretch of his limbs, "Mmm-" the tip of something heavy and thick is pushing in and it burns. "Mmm, yeahh-"</p><p>John looks down at him, a serious look on his face before slapping the younger man. "Slut-" but the man beneath him moans instead, so he does it again. <em>And again, and again. </em>Only stopping when tears start rolling down his face. "Guess that's all you can take then-"</p><p>Castiel looks away, allowing himself to get fucked and feeling humiliated because the hard on he was sporting one minute ago had deflated. If John doesn't make fun of him for this, that'll be way too kind and luckily he doesn't. The man doesn't even notice, simply pulling out of him and rolling off when he's finished. "Night, bitch-" he yawns obnoxiously.</p><p>"Night-" his voice is barely audible.</p><p>The next morning when he opens his eyes, it's to see a very vacant spot on the opposite side of the bed and his body feels the relief. A quick glance at his watch lets him know that it's only eight in the morning which means Dean would still be in his room. Castiel gets out of bed and pads across the hall into the boys room to find him awake in bed with his stuffed spider man in his arms. </p><p><em>"Dean-" </em>his voice cracks, "Can I have a hug?" the question surprises him but the boy quickly nods and makes room for him on his small bed. He lifts the blankets up to crawl in next to him and nuzzles into his warmth. "Thank you-" </p><p>Dean wraps a small arm around his neck, while still holding his spider man under his other arm. </p><p>Castiel seems to be trying to crawl inside the boy because he's trying to get closer, nuzzle in deeper into his neck to hopefully find some comfort. It's not until Dean begins giggling softly that he realizes what he's even doing. "I'm sorry-" his voice sounds regretful. "You're just-" he searches the boys green eyes. "-so warm."</p><p>Dean smiles, wiggling his eyebrows in a silly way. "You tickle-" the spider man in his arm is released so he can touch the older mans chin, feeling the stubble there. "Dad's beard doesn't tickle-"</p><p>Castiel assumes the comment is made innocently, thinking nothing of it. "I know, I tickle-" and rests his head on the boys pillow next to his. "Are you hungry yet?" and he shakes his head. "Not even for some waffles?"</p><p>The boy smiles, thinking it over sarcastically. "Yea, okay-" and he gives his spider man a kiss on the forehead before crawling over the mans body to get up, but he's held in place. So now he's simply straddling him awkwardly, "Castiel- my waffles?"</p><p>The older man sighs, feeling strange like this and not knowing why. "Kiss me-" the boy is confused, just staring down at him. "Like how you kiss spider man-" his eyes glance over at the discarded doll laying where he just was. </p><p>Dean leans down at kisses the older man on the forehead, then wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "Waffles now?" </p><p>"One more?" he knows he's pushing it, he <em>knows. </em>But God, or the universe seems to be on his side because the boy kisses him again on the cheek and it satisfies him enough. "Thank you, Dean. Thank you-"</p><p>Dean looks down at him like he's some kind of freak before getting up, blissfully unaware that the man was hard in his pajamas. Castiel looks down at himself and quickly thinks of something disgusting to get rid of it. </p><p>In the kitchen, the waffles are stuffed into the toaster because the frozen kind were the boys favorite. While waiting for them to heat up, he thinks of why he had gotten hard again after being in the boys presence. Castiel looks over his shoulder to see Dean on the couch with his eyes focused on the television, clearly Scooby Doo was playing because he could recognize the show by the characters voices alone.</p><p>Castiel comes into the living room with a plate of waffles, there was no need to eat at the table since he ate them by hand as if he were eating pizza or something. He watches the boy chewing and swallowing because It felt so cathartic to witness. Eventually Dean looks over and up at him and smiles sweetly, almost batting his eyelashes at him before returning his focus on the screen.</p><p>It's so unbelievable, does he even know that he's doing that? Acting so cute and pretty for him? No, he must be going fucking crazy. Whatever he's feeling is wrong, it's <em>forbidden.</em>Castiel's so consumed by his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed when something warm was being shoved playfully against his mouth.</p><p>"Dean-" he startles suddenly, realizing the boy was trying to make him eat the last waffle. His mouth opens, allowing himself to be fed. "Mmm-" this is the most delicious waffle of his entire life, even if it was just a frozen one. The boy smiles up at him beautifully as his teeth chomp down aggressively on the final bite, "Thank you-"</p><p>Dean shrugs, "You bought them-" and he's referring to the box of waffles in the freezer. He keeps his gaze up to him, simply staring in curiosity. "Do you like puppies?"</p><p>Castiel has to blink to make sure he really heard him correctly, "Puppies?" the boy nods eagerly. "Doesn't everybody?"</p><p>Dean perks up and gets onto his knees on the couch, his hands are placed on the older mans thighs innocently. "Can we go to the pet store and look at them?" his eyes are pleading, "Please-"</p><p>Unable to say no to his adorable face, he nods and instructs the boy to go to his room to change into something that will keep him warm while they're out of the house. He does the same and changes into a pair of jeans, a sweater and his jacket. They hold hands to the car and allows Dean to ride shotgun, being very careful to drive slow to the nearest pet store.</p><p>Again, they hold hands while walking through the parking lot and into the store. Only then, do they let each other go so they can browse freely. Dean runs up to the puppies, looking so excited yet saddened by the fact that they were being kept behind glass. His nose presses into that very same glass and he's giggling, because one of the dogs is licking where his nose is pressed into.</p><p>Dean looks up at the man besides him, "I wish I could have him-" one of his small chubby fingers traces little patterns on the glass.</p><p>Castiel's hands are in his jackets pockets and he knows where this is going. The boy wants a dog and he wants nothing more than to get it for him, but <em>John. </em>He crouches down and wraps an arm around the boy, while they look at the dog. "You really want him?" his eyes search his soft features. </p><p>Dean looks so eager, "Yea, please-" and turns to him and gives him a big hug, burying his face into his neck. The boy was almost sobbing, "I want him-" then looks up at him again and he was making little fake crying sounds. "He looks so sad here-" and he's tugging on the mans jacket as if it's his way of begging.</p><p>They both look at the dog and he looked happy, not sad. It was clear that the boys banter was just him wanted a pet. But he gives in anyhow because he can't seem to say no to him, and that hug he was just given felt so good. </p><p>"Alright-" he smiles, his resolve crumbling to ash. "We'll take him home with us-" and there it is, another tight hug. </p><p>Castiel savors the embrace for as long as he can before attracting attention, the he lifts the boy up into his arms and takes him to find an employee. Purchasing a dog turned out to be a lot like adopting one, there were many forms to fill out and a rather long conversation with the employee behind the counter but they were going to officially become dog owners. Well, at least Dean was because this was <em>his</em> dog.</p><p>They also end up buying a large bag of dog food and some other essentials. The leash was the first thing to get some use and Dean holds onto it the whole walk to the car and looked so damn happy now. The boys smile and constant giggles on the ride home were well worth it because they were beautiful. Castiel looks in the rear view mirror to glance back at the boy and his new pet.</p><p>"Happy?" he asks cheerfully while they pull up to the house. John was already home too, but it didn't phase them because surely the man would like dogs. <em>Who doesn't</em><em>.</em></p><p>The boy nods excitedly before jumping out of the car with the dog following behind him while Castiel stays behind to unload the car.</p><p>As soon as Dean makes it inside the house with his dog, the yelling quickly follows. Castiel drops the bag of dog food on the ground before rushing inside to end the altercation, both John and his son are screaming at each other. It was strange to see the boy yelling so passionately like this, but he was defending his new best friend. </p><p>"John!" Castiel shouts, shoving the boy behind him in a protective manor. "Don't yell at him!" the mechanic continues to yell his hatred for his sons new pet. "It's just a dog!"</p><p>The older man huffs and kicks the coffee table, causing the dog to start barking and it only makes things worse. "Get that thing out of my house!" and he's about to charge at them but Castiel shoves him back roughly in warning.</p><p>"Don't you fucking touch them-" his voice is angry, he looks over his shoulder. "Dean, go to your room-" and the boy quickly obeys, tugging the dog along behind him.</p><p>John shoves him back even harder than he got and Castiel ends up hitting the wall, the back of his head is the first to make contact. "Agh-" he winces, hand automatically going to the back of his head to check for blood. There wasn't any, but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt like hell. He hunches over, blinking rapidly and John is at his side, asking him if he's alright. "No, you hurt me-" and shoves him away.</p><p>John is silent, no doubt feeling guilty, as he should. "M'sorry-"</p><p>Castiel feels a little off balance and has to sit down on the couch, his head in his hands between his knees. "Ugh-" he whines, "You're such an asshole and for what, a dog-" his voice is soft. "I-I think I need to go." he looks up at the older man, "I think we need to break up. I can't keep fighting with you-"</p><p>John nods, hand going down his face in agony. "If that's what you want-" and he leaves the home right then. The impala starts loudly outside and peels away, tires screeching on the pavement. </p><p>"Dean-" he calls out, "Dean-" now even louder. The boy comes out, tip toeing down the hall with the dog by his side. "Can you bring me something from the freezer, my head hurts-"</p><p>Dean nods before going to the kitchen, then coming right back. "What do I bring-" </p><p>"There's a bag of frozen peas, bring me that-" his tone is tight, angry, but not with the boy. <em>Obviously.</em></p><p>When Dean comes back, the man on the couch is rubbing under his eyes because he's just asked his father to break up and he doesn't know that yet. Castiel is going to leave, or at least it's what he's planning on right at this moment. </p><p>Castiel takes the bag from the boys small hand and presses it to the back of his head before making eye contact, "Sit down-" and the boy obeys, sitting next to him. "We need to talk about something-" he's looking up at him expectantly, the dog is still at his side. "I need to leave, <em>okay-"  </em>his voice cracks, the words spoken like he's asking the boys permission in order to move out.</p><p>Dean's eyes well up with tears, "But why-"</p><p>Castiel looks away because seeing that precious face about to cry is something he doesn't like to see. "Your dad is so mean-" it's honest and it's said in a way so that the boy will understand. "He yells at me and I yell at him, I don't want to fight anymore." there's a pause. "I don't like that were scaring you-" he sounds so defeated regardless if attempting to leave is for his own good, there's Dean to worry about. </p><p>Dean blinks away his tears, "But-but-but can't you just tell him to be nice?" there's a pause. "Me and Sam fight too, we say sorry and then it's okay-"</p><p>"Oh, Dean-" he wraps an arm around the boy and kisses the top of his head. "He doesn't listen to me-" is what he says but he's really just thinking that he's just too innocent to comprehend the reality of adult relationships. This wasn't like two kids fighting and saying sorry because one of the other said something a little mean.</p><p>Dean finally lets go of the dogs leash for the first time since he fell in love with him, and wraps both of his arms around the older mans neck. "Please don't leave-" he begs between sobs, "You can't leave-"</p><p>Castiel's hand grabs a fistful of the boys shirt at his back and tries his best not to break apart. "Shh, please stop crying-" his own emotion is making his voice unsteady. </p><p>The boy pulls away, their faces are only a few inches apart now. He gulps and whispers in his ear, "You're my best friend-" and then pulls away a little. "But you can't tell Sam I said that-"</p><p>Castiel smiles, overcome with so much emotion and humors him. "I won't tell Sam anything, I promise-"</p><p>Dean sniffles, "Will you visit me?" then looks over his shoulder. "What about him, are you gonna visit him too-" he's referring to <em>their </em>dog. "I don't know his name yet-"</p><p>The sound of the impala roars as the old dinosaur of a vehicle pulls in and the boy quickly runs off to his room with the dog following behind him like he knows the monster is back. Castiel tosses the frozen bag of peas onto the coffee table and waits, waits for whatever the man is going to unleash on him for the final time. But what comes walking in through that door surprises him, the mechanic had flowers in his hand. </p><p>Castiel looks up at him, "You're seriously going to give me flowers?" the man shrugs, handing them to him in the shyest way possible. He leans back, arms crossed at his chest. "I don't want them, give them to Dean-"</p><p>John snorts, "Yeah, give my own son flowers. Like I love em' or something-"</p><p>"Don't you?" the man shrugs, "I can't believe- you know what, I'll be gone in the morning." he stands up but John crowds his space, kissing him and he's fighting to break free. "Stop-"</p><p>John begs, "Stay with us-" his lips are kissing every inch of his face and now the side of his neck. "Please-"</p><p>Castiel moans weakly before shoving him away, "I'm done-" his hands go up like he's surrendering. "No more, I can't do this anymore-" and makes his way down the hall to the bedroom to pack his clothes, because John and Dean can have the rest. They need it more than he does anyway.</p><p>John watches glumly from the edge of the bed while the younger man moves around the bedroom, packing his clothing into one suitcase. Every now and then he has to point out where a certain belonging of his is so that he can find it. Castiel doesn't look at him once though, which makes him think that it's really over this time. Which is ridiculous because they just barely made it to <em>five </em>months.</p><p>Once the loud zipper rips through the early morning silence, John looks over his shoulder to see that it was <em>over. </em>"Nothin' I can do to get you to stay?" his words sound frightened.</p><p>It takes a moment before Castiel responds, "You could try and change your behavior for one, but we both know you won't-" and he's walking out of the bedroom now with his suitcase in hand. The boys bedroom door was open and he tries to focus on his target, the front <em>door </em>that leads to freedom.</p><p>"Castiel-" the boy had already been awake and had caught him walking by.</p><p>Castiel shuts his eyes, a single tear rolls down his face and just keeps going. <em>Castiel! </em>the boys screams for him. <em>Castiel!</em></p><p>While he's loading his suitcase into the truck of his car, both father and son come to see him off. The whole scene looks like some cheesy divorce that's happening in a movie, but it's real life this time. Dean looks so confused as to why he's actually leaving, but his eyes are pink with impending tears. John's hands are placed firmly on his sons shoulders to keep him from running towards the man.</p><p>"Castiel-" his voice makes him look up finally. "Where are you going-" </p><p>Castiel looks away, the dog barks from inside the home. Suddenly Dean opens the front door and lets the dog run free, and now John begins to yell at his son. Castiel looks down the street to the dog running off with his new found freedom. Then he looks at the boy, "Why let him go?"</p><p>Dean comes running towards Castiel who quickly crouches down and catches him in his arms. Then pulls away before it looks weird to the boys father, "Why did you do that?"</p><p>"I like you more than my dog-" he responds quietly, shrugging his shoulders. "Can you stay now?" </p><p>Castiel swallows the knot in his throat and his eyes look to John standing by the door who nods in some kind of submission in order to keep him around. "We'll work something out-"</p><p>Later that evening, Castiel goes in search of the dog which he finds rather quickly. A neighbor had seen him running down the street and kept the dog safe in her yard in case someone claimed him. Castiel walked home with the dog safely secured on a leash, "Found him-" he smiles at the boy who quickly runs up to them both in the middle of the street. "Don't let him go again-"</p><p>Dean looks up, "But then you'll leave-"</p><p>Castiel shakes his head, "I'm not going anywhere?" there's a moment of silence while they both pet the dog. "Think of a name for him yet?"</p><p>The boy smiles beautifully at him, "Miracle-" and sounds so proud of the name.</p><p>His heart absolutely melts in his chest because of how sweet this kid is, "I like it-" and they both ignore their reality for just a few more moments. </p><p>Dean was going to give away the dog to that very same neighbor who found him. It's not like he had to do this, but this particular neighbor was elderly and could really benefit from having <em>Miracle </em>in her life. Plus, she promised him plenty of play dates with the dog whenever he wanted so it was a lot like getting the best of both worlds but in a very twisted way. Now his dad wouldn't be yelling, and Castiel would stay.</p><p>"Are you sure you want to do this?" they're standing in front of his neighbors house early the next morning.</p><p>"Yea, I don't want dad yelling-" his tone does sound sad, but he knows it's the right thing to do and it's not like he'll never see the dog again. He looks up and hands the leash to the older man. "You can give him away now-"</p><p>Castiel smiles fondly at him, "Are you sure?" the question is asked again just in case.</p><p>Dean rolls his eyes and shouts, "Go!" then turns around to avoid watching the quick exchange. "Is he gone yet?" he asks quietly, peeking over his shoulder and catching the exchange anyway. "Bye Miracle!" he shouts, waving at the dog being escorted indoors by his new owner. </p><p>"You're a good boy, Dean-" </p><p>Dean looks up at him, walking back home a little too closely to the older man. "He's only down the street-" and it sounds like he's trying to comfort himself by saying that. "You were gonna go farther if you left-"</p><p>Castiel looks ahead, swallowing the knot in his throat. "I was going to visit you-" and he says it like he's trying to comfort himself too by saying this. "I love you-" it's spoken so softly, he wasn't sure the boy had heard it but when he looks down he's met with a look of confusion.</p><p>Dean runs ahead of him suddenly that it took a moment for it to register and he runs the rest of the way in order to catch up. When he lets himself in, the boy is nowhere to be seen and his bedroom door is closed much to his disappointment. The bedroom he shares with John on the other hand is very much open for him to walk through, unfortunately. </p><p>John is roaming around the room shirtless while getting himself ready for work and Castiel does the same, he's looking through his packed suitcase for a fresh pair of scrubs. Before the man exits the bedroom after getting dressed, he says only one sentence.</p><p>"I'm only here because of Dean-"</p><p>The mechanic just nods with a soft <em>hmm </em>before closing the door behind him.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Men, Men, Men</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel found himself alone on a Friday night while John was out with his mechanic buddies. He was invited to tag along as part of their path to making amends, but he wasn't exactly in the mood to be the groups punching bag for the night which he knew he would be.</p><p>The doctor was an easy target, especially in the midst of drunk neanderthals after hours, with his glasses and sweaters. Those guys would have a field day with him and he's just so over it. Dealing with his <em>boyfriends </em>shit is one thing, but no way are his friends getting their kicks off of him too.</p><p>While watching John Winchester dress in jeans and an old black and red flannel, "Just go without me-" he says mindlessly, as he's distracted by the television in their bedroom. The mechanic said <em>fine</em> and left without asking twice.</p><p>A few hours later, he's still in bed and completely bored now that his shows were all done with. Dean wasn't home either, he was at Sam's for a sleepover and it's a damn shame, if he'd been there they could have had a movie night with plenty of pizza to go around without having to worry about the kids father ruining the fun for a change.</p><p>Castiel shuts off the television and suddenly realizes that he's completely <em>alone,</em> the urge to masturbate washes over him. He doesn't think too long about it before letting his hand wander down, underneath the waistband of his boxers.</p><p>His fingers curl around his hardening cock and begins to stroke himself lazily, until it begins to feel good, then <em>really </em>good. When his orgasm starts building low in his stomach, he pushes down his boxers to his knees so he can really work himself over. </p><p>"Mmmm-" he hums into the silent bedroom, eyes closed. "Ahhh-" he sighs, quickening his pace a bit more. One of knees draws up, then the other, soon his free hand roams freely downward to play with his hole. "Hmmm-" he whines loudly once he pushes the tip of his finger in, it's not a cock but it feels pretty good. </p><p>His cell phone rings, "Damn it-" he wipes his hand on the bedspread before answering it. "Yeah-" he pants into the phone with extreme annoyance.</p><p>"Castiel-" a small voice whispers on the other end of the line. The boy still wasn't comfortable calling him <em>Cas</em> quite yet. "Hello??"</p><p>Castiel hadn't looked at the caller ID before answering so hearing the boys voice right then was a bit of a surprise. "Hey-" his tone quickly softens, "Everything okay at Sam's?"</p><p>It takes Dean a moment to answer but when he does he says, "No, my stomach hurts-" he breathes loudly into the phones speaker. "Can I come home-"</p><p>"You ate Hot Cheetos, didn't you-" he scolds the boy on the line with him, who simply whines with guilt. His free hand begins to stroke his cock yet again without realizing it. "Alright, tell your friends mom that I'm on my way to come get you. I'll be there soon-" they hang up and his hard cock is stuffed back into his boxers.</p><p>The man quickly dresses in sweatpants and a black shirt before grabbing his car keys. The drive to Sam's house wasn't that far, just a few streets over. When he arrives, Castiel parks up front, half up the drive way and honks the cars horn. Soon Dean is exiting the home and running up to his car, backpack bouncing up and down heavily behind him.</p><p>Castiel unlocks the doors and he gets in, locking them again once he's buckled in. "How's your stomach?" he asks, giving the boy a quick glance before embarking on the short drive home.</p><p>"Still hurts-" and he knows the boy isn't lying because he doesn't look happy at all. His gaze is cast downwards to his lap where his hands are innocently clasped together.</p><p>Once they get home, Castiel carries Dean's back pack for him and guides him to his bedroom. "Stay put-" he goes to the kitchen to grab some medicine. When he comes back he's got that little plastic cup in his hand with that orange liquid that all children seem to despise with passion.</p><p>Dean shakes his head, not wanting to take the medicine. Blue eyes glares at him dominantly, clearly losing his patience so he takes the cup and drinks it down. "Bleh-" he makes a dramatic choking sound. </p><p>"Good boy-" he sighs, "Time for bed." </p><p>"Can you stay-" the boy is now laying in bed, hands on top of his expanded tummy that had been stuffed with half a bag of the forbidden hot cheeto. </p><p>The view is too sweet, too adorable to pass up so he nods. "Sure-" he pulls Dean's desk chair next to the bed so he can sit. "Do you have something on your mind?" He leans back on the chair, hands on his thighs and ready to entertain the boy in some kind of conversation until he can manage to fall asleep.</p><p>Dean think for a bit, sniffling once. "Um-" he sniffled again. "No-" </p><p>"Are you sick again?" his voice is full of concern, the boy nods. "We'll get you checked out soon-" the man gets up and the boy thinks hes gone for good but he's back in no time with a small tub of something. </p><p>"Is it okay if I rub this on your chest?" he opens the container and let's the boy have a whiff. "Its vapor rub-" Dean nods, lifting up his shirt all the way up to his neck. Castiel is careful as he applies the medicated rub all over the boys chest. "How's that feel?"</p><p>Dean sighs at the coolness in his chest and Castiel tucks him in for good this time before leaving his bedroom. He and John meet up in the hallway, "Didn't hear you come in-"</p><p>"That's the point-" he winks and somehow that wink makes him feel uneasy. "Miss me?" </p><p>"Of course-" Castiel lies and they share a loose embrace. "I'm going to bed-" he yawns and it doesn't surprise him when he's followed into bed. Both men kiss and grope each other for a while, until John falls asleep. Luckily he'd been drunk enough.</p><p>Castiel's brushing his teeth that morning in the bathroom when he notices something, a pair of Scooby Doo underwear in the trash. After rinsing his mouth out with water he goes to the boys room.</p><p>"What were these doing in the trash?" he holds up the underwear. Dean was struggling to tie his shoelaces, "I'l help you-" he crouches down and ties his laces for him. "Wanna tell me what happened?"</p><p>Dean looks down at him from where he was sitting on the bed, "I had a bad dream-" then glances behind him at the bed as if hiding something.</p><p>Castiel gets up and pulls back the covers, "I see-" then he looks at the boy. "It's okay, these things happen." there was a large wet spot at the center.</p><p>"Don't tell dad-" Dean looks up at him, "He's gonna call me a baby if he knows I wet the bed-"</p><p>"Our secret-" Castiel gives the boy a friendly wink and goes to grab his backpack, guiding him out the front door and all the way to the bus stop. "Would you like me to pick you up after school?" he asks after a few minutes of waiting for the bus to arrive.</p><p>"Yea, okay-" Dean says shyly.</p><p>When his bus finally comes, Castiel watches the boy climb up the steps and waves him off. "Bye!" Dean yells from the window of the seat he chose, waving too. He must have stayed there until the bus completely disappeared around the corner before walking back to the house so he could finish getting ready for work.</p><p>He's sitting at his usual chair in the nurses station, looking through a few charts before Meg takes a seat next to him. "Hey-" he smiles, looking over at her briefly.</p><p>"Hi, Clarence-" she laughs before starting on her work. </p><p>"I don't know why you keep calling me that-" he states mindlessly as he scribbles down his signature on a few orders. </p><p>Meg ignores his statement and comes at him with something else, "You know it's my birthday today-" </p><p>Castiel drops his pen, "Shit, I forgot." and he stops what he's doing so he can focus all his attention on the birthday girl. "I'm so sorry, I'll make it up to you."</p><p>She smiles, thinking of what she wants. "Hm-" her nails tap on the desk in front of her. "Oh I know, why don't you come with me to a strip club-"</p><p>"A strip club?" he chuckles, it really wasn't his scene but he did forget his birthday so he agrees. "Sure, let's go to a strip club." his hands are thrown in the air like it's going to be pure torture.</p><p>"You're the best gay boyfriend ever-" she kisses him on the cheek. "-make sure you get change for singles, okay?" she winks before getting up to start on her rounds.</p><p>Castiel finally picks up his pen so he can finish up his work. When lunch time rolls around he's relieved, finally getting to sit down after two long surgeries. He enters the cafeteria and notices Meg sitting down at a table enjoying a salad, after grabbing his food he goes to join her.</p><p>"Happy Birthday-" he places a pink frosted cupcake in front of her that he'd just purchased in the cafeteria.</p><p>"Awww-" she smiles up at him, "-I support that you're gay, but ugh-" she stabs the cupcake with her fork. "-you'd make a great husband."</p><p>Castiel's heart swells with pride because he knew he'd make a great husband one day, for someone. "If I ever leave John-" he takes a seat next to her at the table. "-we'll get married."</p><p>"You promise?" Meg scoots closer to the doctor so they can chat more privately.</p><p>"Why not." he smiles, digging into his own salad. "So, strip club tonight-" </p><p>She nods, mouth full of cupcake. "It'll be fun, we haven't been out since-" the nurse thinks about it. "-you moved in with that John guy."</p><p>When the work day is over for both of them, they meet up by the front entrance of the hospital and they take Meg's car to the club. She wanted to drive and Castiel was to exhausted to fight her on it. The birthday girl gets whatever she wants on her day, as stated in the previous years of their friendship.</p><p>"We're here-" she sing songs.</p><p>Meg puts on a bit of lip gloss before exiting the vehicle, Castiel quickly follows. This was completely out of his comfort zone and as soon as they enter, he realizes he's way out of his league. There's so many male dances walking around half naked and the music was way too hip and just too damn loud for his liking. He might have enjoyed this scene five years ago, but not now when he's over thirty.</p><p>"What's wrong?" she asks after noticing the look of fear on his face</p><p>"These are male-" he gulps, looking flustered. "Strippers-"</p><p>"Well yeah!" she laughs and guides him to a table up front. "Did you think I wanted to see a bunch of boobs on my birthday?" they take a seat.</p><p>"Guess not-" Castiel has his hands clasped together under the table, on his lap. "I'll have a beer-" he asks one of the semi nude waiters that passes by them.</p><p>"Relax-" Meg whispers in his ear. </p><p>They drink and watch a few <em>boys </em>dancing on the stage, they couldn't be much older than twenty one. At least that's what Castiel assumes, his eyes catch how smooth their skin is, how supple and soft it looks. He must have had three beers before one of them comes over to ask him a question, it startles him.</p><p>"Do you want a dance?" the young guy says it in his ear since the music was a little loud. Castiel shakes his head and he goes away.</p><p>"Have some fun-" she leans over. "-you're not cheating okay, besides- your boyfriend sounds like an asshole."</p><p>Castiel smiles, nodding. "I'll say yes to the next guy-" and he said that a little too loud because there's another young guy asking if he wanted a dance. When he looks up at him, he gulps.</p><p>This young man was light skinned, had a strange mix of blue green eyes and light brown hair. Like <em>Dean, </em>he can't help but think that this might be what he might look like as an adult and he quickly shakes that thought because why would he even think of such a thing.</p><p>"Sure-" and he leans back against his chair thinking that the young man is going to <em>perform </em>for him right there.</p><p>"Follow me-" he beckons him with his finger, walking away towards the back of the club to the private room.s</p><p>"What do I do!?" he hisses at his friend.</p><p>"Go!" she shoos him away, spilling the drink that was in her hand and he quickly gets up, rushing over to where the dancer went.</p><p>"Over here-" he says, pulling open the black curtain that lead to a small private room. "Sit down." </p><p>Castiel nods, sitting down on the black leather couch. "How much?" he asks, wallet already in his hand.</p><p>"You look like you can afford it-" the dancer smiles, looking at the mint green scrubs underneath his jacket.</p><p>"Right-" Castiel swallows, adams apple bobbing up and down. "This is my first time coming to a club like this-" he admits.</p><p>"I'll take care of you." he winks, "My name is Alex, what's yours?"</p><p>Castiel can't concentrate because the guy is on his lap in the blink of an eye, rubbing up against him and it feels amazing. "Uh-" he swallows again, forcing himself to keep his hands to himself. "Jimmy-" he ends up saying, unable to think straight- he'd been pretty buzzed.</p><p>"Cute-" the dancer whispers into his ear and Castiel almost moaned. "-it's been a while hasn't it?" he doesn't understand the question. "-normally when a guy acts like you are right now, means he hasn't had it in a while."</p><p>Castiel goes red instantly and admits, "I have. I'm just really needy-" he admits that too. "Mmmm, that feels nice-" the <em>boys </em>ass on his growing bulge feels amazing. "How old are you?" he asks suddenly. </p><p>"Nineteen-" at least he was honest about it. "-does that turn you on?" he turns around now, facing him as he grinds against him to the music.</p><p>"Yeah-" Castiel exhales heavily, licking his lips and gets the desire to do something he really shouldn't. "Can I kiss you?"</p><p>"Sure baby-" </p><p>Castiel aggressively pulls him down against his own body, shoving his tongue in that nineteen year old mouth. They make out for a good while before Castiel comes in his pants with a loud but shocked groan. They pull away from each other, panting. </p><p>"How much money you got on you?" Alex gets up, now checking himself out in the mirror to make sure he looks good before going out there again. </p><p>Castiel pulls out his wallet, counting all the bills he's got on him. "Six hundred?"</p><p>"That'll work." Alex takes his wallet and helps himself to the cash. "I really hope you come back-" he smiles, counting his money before leaving. </p><p>Castiel fixes his messy hair and his jacket as best he can before joining Meg at their table. When he takes a seat, she instantly begins to poke and pry at him with a dozen questions. </p><p>"Tell me!" she whispers loudly over the upbeat music. Castiel shakes his head, hiding a smile as he finishes his beer. "Come on, you forgot my birthday-"</p><p>Castiel rolls his eyes before leaning over. "We made out-" he smiles playfully. "-he's so fucking hot."</p><p>"He's like fifteen years old-" Meg shakes her head in disapproval.</p><p>"Nineteen, if you wanna get technical."</p><p>"Yuck-" Meg laughs, downing her virgin girly drink before standing up. "Let's go, I'll drop you off at home. You're too drunk to drive-" Castiel nods, following the nurse to her car. </p><p>It's almost two in the morning when they're parked in front of the Winchester home, "Don't let him find out what happened with the dancer-" she warns him.</p><p>Castiel slurs the words, "Bye sweetie-" before slobbering all over her cheek.</p><p>Once Meg has driven off, he stumbles up the porch steps and into the dark home. Castiel carefully makes his way into the bedroom and falls onto the bed, next to John who somehow by the grace of God hadn't woken up.</p><p>When he wakes up in the morning he realizes that it completely slipped his mind to pick up Dean from school. Dean must have gotten home somehow, John must have gone to pick him up or maybe took the bus anyway. Castiel takes a quick shower and gets ready for work before going to check on the boy, he was nowhere to be found.</p><p>"Where's Dean?" he asks when he walks into the kitchen. </p><p>John's at the table eating cereal before he goes to work himself, "Down the street, waiting for the bus-"</p><p>Castiel watches John for a moment before exiting the home in hopes of catching the boy on time. He starts his car and peels out of the driveway, when he makes it to the stop sign, the sight of the boy catches his attention.</p><p>Castiel rolls down the window and shouts, "Hey!" </p><p>Dean smiles at him awkwardly, "My bus-" he looks over at the approaching yellow school bus. Castiel's car was blocking the bus and a few other cars so he quickly drives away without being able to say goodbye or explain why he didn't pick him up from school.</p><p>While at work, Castiel almost forgets everything that happened at the club with <em>Alex- </em>the guy with features similar to Deans until Meg brought it up during lunch in the cafeteria.</p><p>"So, are you going to dump that horrible man and get with Alex?" she asks casually.</p><p>"Alex?" he squints at her, "Whose Ale- oh-" the memory hits him hard instantly.</p><p>"Yeah, that Alex." she laughs.</p><p>Castiel shrugs, "No- last night meant nothing, he's a dancer." and their conversation was cut way too short after getting called in for an emergency surgery.</p><p>When the day is over, he's sitting in his car thinking about what happened with the nineteen year old dancer. Before he knows it he finds himself in that very same strip club, asking the manager for Alex. Castiel knows he's being creepy but he can't help it- the guy was hot. </p><p>"You're back soon-" Alex comes walking towards him, wearing a pair of tight black- something, he doesn't know what they are- some kind of briefs. Alex kisses Castiel on the cheek politely before guiding him to the very same room they were in last night. </p><p>Castiel's pushed onto the black leather sofa and he loves it. "You're so fucking hot-" the teenager pushes off his jacket and is on his lap in no time, grinding down on his hard on. John Winchester would never do this with him- he was strictly a top and now with this <em>boy, </em>he feels like he's finally got some control in this department. "Mmmughh-" he moans.</p><p>"You like that big daddy-" </p><p>"Oh my God-" Castiel moans again, he doesn't care if Alex is faking it for the money. "Call me daddy again-"</p><p>"Daddy you're so fucking sexy-" His eyes roll back in his head, that ass grinding against him was magical and once again he comes in his pants in no time. "How much money you got on you today daddy?" </p><p>Castiel watches the dancer get up off of him and he pulls out his wallet. "Three hundred?" he says nervously, wishing he had hit the ATM before coming here. Alex frowns, not liking the sound of that and it has him begging for forgiveness in his post orgasm haste. "Please take it- I promise, next time I'll give you a thousand."</p><p>"A thousand dollars?" the dancer is interested.</p><p>Castiel nods, "Yes baby, a thousand-" he's completely unaware that he just called the nineteen year old baby. Alex' greenish blue eyes look up at him hopefully and his heart melts. "Say you'll see me again-"</p><p>"Okay daddy-" Alex smiles, taking the three hundred before leaving the room.</p><p>Castiel fixes himself up as much as he can before leaving the club and makes sure to hit an ATM on the way home, preparing himself for tomorrows visit to the club. This was so exciting for him, it's the kind of thrill that he's never experienced before. He's was always been the play by the rules type of guy and something is telling him that this young dancer was about to change some things for him.</p><p>When he gets home that night, i"Dean-" he calls out, turning on a few lights in the house as he makes his way around in search of the boy who must be around somewhere. "Dean-" he calls again and the boy exits the bathroom shyly with a towel wrapped around his waist.</p><p>Castiel inhales sharply, quickly noticing all that bare skin that still looked damp. He forces a friendly smile, "Sorry I didn't go get you at school-" thinks of an excuse. "I had to stay late at work-"</p><p>Dean looks up at him, blinking. Things felt weird, tense almost and he's unsure why. If only he knew what was going on between the boy and his father when they were left alone too long. </p><p>"Got money for school?" he breaks the silence and digs into his wallet, pulling out a new twenty dollar bill. "For you and Sam, to buy snacks-"</p><p>The boy looks at the money, then up at him in confusion before taking it and all Castiel can think of is Alex. The urge to see him again is growing with every passing second that he stares down at the innocent child in front of him. Dean walks away, going to his bedroom and leaves the door wide open as usual. </p><p>Castiel walks by and tries to advert his eyes when he enters his own room and shuts the door behind him. It's so unsettling, having Dean just across the hall and it's so strange because he doesn't understand it himself. The things he's feeling, it's crazy to think that he may be falling in love with the boy. It's wrong, it's a sin, it's completely and totally <em>forbidden.</em></p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Hit Me Baby One More Time</h2></a>
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    <p>The entire week both Dean and John haven't been seeing much of Castiel because he was coming home late from work, at least that's where they thought he was. They weren't concerned yet and why would they be, Castiel was a walking billboard for responsibility. What they didn't know was that the blue eyed doctor was obsessed with a certain dancerfrom the strip club.</p><p>Castiel's enjoying a beer at his usual table as he waits for his favorite dancer to show up and there's a thousand dollars weighing heavily in his wallet. He's aware that Alex could care less about him, it's just about the money but who cares if he gets off on a lap dance here and there.</p><p>"Hey daddy-" the teenager says, beckoning him over to the back of the club.</p><p>Castiel quickly downs the rest of his beer before joining him in their usual private room. "I have the money-" he states, handing it over to him before anything happens. </p><p>Alex takes it with hearts in his eyes, "Thank you daddy-" he says, counting the bills.</p><p>"It's all there-" Castiel rubs the back of his neck before taking a seat on the leather couch, hands on his thighs. "Come here-" he orders, Alex obeys. "What would it cost to sleep with you-" the question surprises them both.</p><p>Alex smiles, "I can't sleep with clients-" he plants his plump ass over the doctors growing bulge, grinding on it the way he knew he liked. </p><p>"Mmm-" Castiel's hands grip the dancers waist, guiding the movements possessively. "I'll pay whatever you want, no one has to know-"</p><p>"I'll think about it daddy." his tone doesn't sound the least bit thrilled about his proposal.</p><p>Castiel pushes him off his lap, sensing the coldness. "You don't like me, is that it?" there's obvious hurt in his words.</p><p>"Listen, sir-" Alex grows nervous, "I don't even know you." </p><p>He picks up on his nervousness too so he forces himself to chill out, "Look, I'm sorry-" and stands up so he's closer to the dancer. "Please?" he kisses his soft lips once again. "We can be discreet-" another kiss. "No one will ever know-"</p><p>"I'll think about it, I promise." Alex pulls away awkwardly, he wasn't looking to take things further or take things outside of the club. </p><p>"Please do-" Castiel runs his thumb over his pink bottom lip. "I can be good to you, give you money- you could quit this place." </p><p>Castiel would never openly admit it but he daydreams about this young green eyed dancer whenever he's got the chance. At work, at home with <em>Dean </em>or in bed with John who is supposed to be the only man he has eyes for. But this dancer has him hooked and he doesn't want to let this go, even if they know nothing about each other. He thinks about leaving John and running away with Alex. </p><p>It's ridiculous but it's what he daydreams about in the back of his mind, to take this beautiful young man away from the club life. Marry him, fuck him and do it all legally because John sure as hell won't legally marry him. It's not like they even talked about it, technically the man was still married to Dean's mother. But, it's just a <em>daydream </em>and he'll never really get this in the way he wants. </p><p>Alex almost wants to laugh, "You don't know me, why are you trying to save me?" there's some humor to his voice.</p><p>Castiel caught a glimpse of <em>Dean </em>in his eyes, that's <em>why</em> but he hadn't realized it yet. "You're sweet-" he goes with that instead, it's easier to explain it to himself.</p><p>"Like I said, I'll think about it." the dancer kisses Castiel a final time, "Thank you for the money." then leaves the room.</p><p>Castiel leaves the club feeling strange, still not understanding why he likes Alex so much or why he's interested in helping him. The guy was just so pretty with his light brown hair, those freckles and his beautiful eyes. It was hard to not want someone like that, someone who is so easy on the eyes and kind to him for once. On the drive home, his daydream takes over again and he fantasizes about a life with him regardless of how stupid it is to think about.</p><p>Before arriving at the house, he picks up a large pizza for dinner because John doesn't ever cook. Castiel walks up the porch steps with the pizza box in hand and a heavy heart sitting in his chest because he doesn't want to be here. Sure there's Dean, but his interactions with the boy are limited because of how much he works and by the time he gets home these days, Johns home too.</p><p>"I'm home-" he calls out once he lets himself in through the door and quickly finds the father son duo on the sofa. "I brought pizza-"</p><p>John scoots over to make room for him, so does Dean. Castiel sets the pizza on the coffee table and they all dig in. It's awkward and weird, at least he thinks so. Dean and his father seem overly interested on the movie that was on the television. They <em>know </em>what he's been doing after work instead of coming straight home, he's sure of it.</p><p>John watches him for a minute before detecting some odd behavior, "Whats up with you?" </p><p>"Long day-" he grabs a second slice of the pie and bites into it mindlessly because he's not really that hungry and is just going through the motions.</p><p>Dean's done eating and looks up at him, "How come you're always gone-" he asks suddenly because he was seeing so little of the man when before he would jump at the chance to spend time with him. </p><p>Castiel tears his eyes away from the screen to look down at him, it's hard to think of an answer on the spot and especially an answer that wouldn't get himself beat up by his violent boyfriend.</p><p>"Yea Cas, where ya been lately?" his tone is humorous, as if it's a pleasure to give him a hard time. "Got a girlfriend now?" his son is completely clueless about what's going on, as he should be at eleven years old and quickly refocuses on the movie once again.</p><p>"Working late-" he ends up saying, reaching for a third slice. </p><p>"Hmm-" John huffs before refocusing his eyes on the movie too. "The fuck we watchin' this shit for-" he steals the remote from his son who protests, until he's given the <em>look, </em>the one that has him quickly shutting up.</p><p>Castiel finishes half of his third slice of pizza before he's excusing himself, "I'm gonna take a shower and go to sleep-" he gets up and disappears down the hall.</p><p>He hasn't been in the shower for five minutes before John comes in to use the bathroom. Castiel pulls back the curtain to see the mechanic brushing his teeth in front of the mirror. "Can't you wait until I'm done?" he pulls the curtain closed before even getting a response.</p><p>"Since when do I need permission for anything in this house-" he spits water into the sink before wiping his mouth on a bath towel. </p><p>He's relieved when the door shuts behind him and quickly rinses off so he can brush his teeth and go to bed just to put an end to this painfully long day. Castiel enters the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and John is laying in bed, watching him move around the room. He feels dark brown eyes watching him and ignores it as much as possible as he pulls on a pair of grey sweatpants.</p><p>"What-" he snaps when he can't take it anymore.</p><p>Castiel gets in bed and that's when John comes close, grabbing him by the chin. "You cheatin' on me?" he asks, nose to nose. He shakes his head instantly, "You sure about that?" the older man sniffs him like a dog. "I smell smoke on you, meet some twink at a bar or somethin'? That were you been goin' after work these days?"</p><p>Castiel swallows nervously, eyes not meeting Johns. "I'm not cheating-"</p><p>"Good, because you're mine-" John steals a rough kiss from the younger man. "You better not be lyin' to me."</p><p>"I'm not lying-" Castiel shoves the scruffy man away. </p><p>"Don't let me find out different-" he huffs before turning over to fall asleep.</p><p>Castiel stays awake for another hour just contemplating his life decisions until eventually falling asleep with the bedside lamp on which John wakes up in the middle of the night to shut off. Maybe John will get bored of him one day and he'll be freed from this relationship, <em>maybe. </em>It was unlikely, Castiel knew this because John was benefiting greatly from their union- free babysitting and the bills get paid before the final notice has a chance to show up in the mail.</p><p>When he wakes up in the morning he's feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day. Until he's reaching for his keys on the wall hook, "What the- John!" he calls out to the mechanic in the kitchen who was eating burnt toast. "Where are my keys?" he's looking on the table by the door, on the floor- everywhere, even the bag on his shoulder.</p><p>The mechanic comes up to him by the door once he's had enough of watching him shuffle around the whole house in desperation and dangles the missing car keys in front of him. Though before he can snatch them from his hand he pockets them in his work pants for safe keeping. John really doesn't want his toy running away from him suddenly or coming home late again because five nights in a row was enough. </p><p>"What are you doing-" Castiel laughs but his smile quickly fades when he sees the serious look on the mans face. </p><p>"I'm keeping these until I can trust you again." He opens the door for the doctor, "I'll take you to work and pick you up after-"</p><p>Castiel laughs again, "You can't be serious-" they walk out the door together, "Seriously! I can't show up to work in that-" he looks at the car. "-that ugly old thing."</p><p>The Impala wasn't an ugly car to be honest, it was a pretty cool car but the condition the mechanic always had it was like he didn't give a shit about it. The car had some rust on the roof because of how long it was left in the sun for and not to mention that it was always covered in mud. That alone was strange to him because where the hell does the man find mud? It's not like it rains all that often.</p><p>"Ouch." he opens the passenger side door of the Impala, "Get in, princess-" and the doctor gets in, crossing his arms at his chest the entire drive to the hospital. </p><p>"This is unfair-" Castiel gets out as soon as the impala stops by the Emergency entrance. "-you can't do this to me." he hauls his bag out of the backseat and adjusts it over his shoulder. "I need my own car-" his eyes are pleading with the man without having to actually beg with his words.</p><p>"Shut up, you'll get them back when I trust you again."</p><p>"I'll get my own ride, don't bother-" he slams the car door in anger and walks up to the double doors in a hurry. He feels like a child whose getting dropped off at school by his parent. </p><p>Where does John get the audacity to take his keys and control him like <em>this? </em>What's next, take his bank card out of his wallet while he's <em>asleep? </em>No way, that thought scares him half to death and makes a mental note to start hiding his things better which he shouldn't have to do. But now this is about survival, not about feeling comfortable or safe in the home that isn't his but pays for anyways. </p><p>John went to work at the shop and Dean was picked up by Sam and his mother around noon for a day of playing video games since it was the weekend. Dean really liked spending time with Sam, it got him out of the house and away from having to starve all day because no one was home to fix him up anything good. He could make a sandwich, but that made him feel lonely.</p><p>Video games and home cooked meals at Sam's every once in a while was like heaven, there wasn't more his eleven year old heart could ask for. They've been playing a zombie game in the living room for about two hours before the slightly older boy starts fidgeting on the couch, like he wants to ask his friend something but doesn't know how to. Dean feels those hazel eyes sneaking a peek at him every once in a while and it goes on so long that it begins to annoy him.</p><p>"What?" he asks, his fingers clicking annoyingly loud on the buttons of the controller.</p><p>Sam shrugs and sets the controller aside because he doesn't feel like playing anymore. "Jess wants to kiss me-" </p><p>"So?" Dean says, clicking the controllers buttons frantically in order to kill every zombie that popped up.</p><p>"I don't know how to kiss you moron-" Sam huffs and sort of inches a little bit closer to his friend on the couch, the leather makes a sound as he does so.</p><p>"Sooo, I don't either-" </p><p>Sam punches him in the arm, "I can't kiss her without knowing how!"</p><p>"Ow-" Dean whines, rubbing his bicep and he's dead in the video game in no time. </p><p>While their video game loads up again, "You wanna practice?" his eyes are on the television screen.</p><p>Dean looks at him then, "Whats there to practice, you just-" he leans over to press a chaste kiss on his friends lips for not even two seconds. "-do that." </p><p>Sam licks his lips, "You taste salty-" and wipes them on the back of his hands.</p><p>The younger of the two sticks out his tongue, "You taste salty-" </p><p>"That's not gonna fly with Jess, she wants a <em>real </em>kiss-" he pauses. "-like in the movies man."</p><p>"Oh-" Dean says, his fingers clicking on the controllers buttons as if it would help the game load up faster.</p><p>Sam steals the controller, setting it aside. "Come on, practice with me-" Dean looks down nervously, this would be his first time kissing for real. "-I'd ask someone else, but everyone at school is ugly."</p><p>Dean smiles because it's confirmed that his friend doesn't think he's ugly, "Okay-" he scoots over on the couch so he can be closer to his friend, "Um-" and licks his lips nervously.</p><p>Sam's nervous but since he's a few months older, "I'll make the first move-" so he goes for it, pressing his lips on the slighter younger boy. Dean loses his breath for just a second and his mouth opens, that's when Sam slips his tongue in there. It doesn't take very long at all before they get the hang of it, it's sort of sloppy and messy but they're doing it. </p><p>Dean whimpers softly at the feeling of a tongue in his mouth, his best friends tongue. A hot feeling comes over him, it started in his stomach and now it's all over and it scares him because he's never felt this before. It doesn't feel horrible, but he's not sure if it feels nice either so he pulls away and looks up at his friend shyly. </p><p>Sam returns the same shy smile before his mother walks by on her way outside to let their dog out and both boys grab their controllers to resume their game. They don't talk about this again, it mean's nothing and Dean was only trying to help his friend by letting him practice. Jess was going to get her movie star kiss thanks to Dean's help and she'll never know. </p><p>There's only a few things to take care of before Castiel goes home for the day, he's sat at his computer when Meg comes to sit next to him. He looks over at her and gives the nurse a sweet smile before finishing up his paperwork. Meg doesn't say a word until the doctor stands up, putting his bag over his shoulder and she knows he's getting ready to leave.</p><p>"I didn't know you were here, didn't see your car parked out front-" her tone is one of distraction but curiosity as she looks through a patients chart.</p><p>"It was making an awful noise-" he lies and leans against the desk because he does want to chat with her for a few minutes.</p><p>The nurse leans back in her chair and looks up at him with a look she knows will get her truth, "Your car is brand new, and expensive-no way it's giving you trouble." her arms are crossed at her chest.</p><p>Castiel rolls his eyes in annoyance,"I don't have to tell you everything-" his words must have come out a little bit harsher than intended because there's a hurt expression on his friends face. "Sweetie, I'm sorry." he stands up straight now, hands in his pants pockets. "Just have a lot going on-" there's a pause. "At home-"</p><p>She shrugs, "Don't worry about it-" and get's to work on the computer.</p><p>It would be a lie if Castiel wasn't expecting her to pry some more at his personal life, a part of him wanted to because he was more than dying to tell her about everything. There's crazy ideas and thoughts going through his head about leaving John but wanting help on how to do it and even crazier thoughts about how to make this Alex guy his next boyfriend. </p><p>"I'll see you tomorrow-" he kisses the top of her head before leaving for the day. A little smile forms on her face which makes leaving just a little bit better, there's no way he could really leave work if his best friend was actually upset with him.</p><p>Castiel exits through those double doors and for a moment, he doesn't know what to do. Should he call John and ask him to pick him up after all? <em>No way, </em>and decides to walk home. The fresh air would do him good and he's starting to think that maybe it's a good thing he doesn't have access to his car right now or else he'd be driving off to the strip club to waste more money.</p><p>Getting home by vehicle took him fifteen minutes or less, depending on traffic. By foot, it took him almost an hour to get the house. As soon as he lets himself in through the door he rushes over to the bedroom so he can collapse on top of the bed. He moans at the coolness of the fresh bedspread underneath him and the fact that the ogre wasn't home was a big plus. </p><p>Having the bed to himself is enough to distract him from another fact, Dean didn't seem to be home either.</p><p>Castiel hadn't realized that he had fallen asleep until he wakes up in complete and total darkness. After waking from his unexpected nap he walks through the home to see that no one is there but him.</p><p>"John?" he calls out, "Dean?" sure enough the impala wasn't in the driveway, only his car which he didn't have the keys to yet. "Dean?" he calls out again, checking his bedroom. It was empty and the bed was still made from this morning.</p><p>His stomach is growling so he goes to the kitchen to makes himself a sandwich, then parks his ass on the couch to wait for someone to come home. Castiel was half way through a horror movie when the door opens and slams shut, soon revealing a pretty freckled boy on the cusp of adolescence. <em>Stop, don't look at him like that. </em>He smiles at the boy who quickly walks up to him.</p><p>"Where's dad-" Dean says, dropping his backpack on the floor and joining him.</p><p>Castiel visibly relaxes, "I was worried about you-" and ignores the question because he doesn't know where his father is.</p><p>Dean steals half his sandwich and bites into it, quickly spitting it out because he didn't like lettuce. "Gross-" his eyes stare at the disgusting sandwich in his hand.</p><p>Castiel ignores him again, "You weren't home-" and uses a napkin to pick up the mess the boy spit up onto the floor. "Where were you?" </p><p>"I was at Sam's-" he grabs the remote and starts flipping through the channels.</p><p>Castiel doesn't push his whereabouts further because the boy doesn't lie too often. Eventually Dean asks, "Do you have a girlfriend?"</p><p>Castiel looks over at him, "No, do you?"</p><p>Dean shrugs, "No but Sam keeps asking me about girls-" Castiel nods, listening. "He says I'm gay." his face is completely serious.</p><p>"Do you two even know what that means?" Castiel can't help but chuckle and Dean shrugs again. "Gay is when a boy likes another boy-"</p><p>"Oh-" the boy kicks his feet in the air out of boredom. </p><p>"Yeah, oh-" Castiel laughs again, bumping shoulders with him. "You'll like girls eventually, when you get older." </p><p>Right then the door slams shut once again and soon enough the tired mechanic is leaning against the doorway to the living room, "Wanna talk to you-" he looks Castiel in the eye, gesturing towards the bedroom before going in that same direction.</p><p>"Don't stay up to late-" Castiel orders he boy who simply nods because something tells him he won't be coming back to finish the movie.</p><p>"Why are you pissed this time-" he says when he enters the bedroom. John was standing by the bed and as soon as he's within reaching distance, John pulls him close. "What are you doing-" </p><p>"Think I don't know you're cheatin' on me-" </p><p>Castiel swallows, "I'm not-" John shakes him before throwing him on the bed. "I'm not!"</p><p>"Tell me the truth-" John orders and Castiel is silent. "Fine, I'll ask Dean if he knows anything-" </p><p>"Fine!" Castiel yells, he'll admit to it just so he doesn't go to Dean about this. "I cheated!"</p><p>John laughs, "With?" he asks right before climbing over the doctor. His hand runs through his dark hair before tugging on it roughly.</p><p>"Agh-" Castiel groans in pain, "Stripper-" the hand in his hair tugs harder. "Agh, at a club-"</p><p>"Male dancer?" Castiel nods quickly, wincing in pain. "You fuck em'-" he shakes his head. "You want to?" he agrees because he does want to and he's too afraid to lie right now. "Fuckin' slut-" John slaps him in the face over and over again until he starts crying. "Think twice about cheatin' on me next time."</p><p>Castiel's face is red and burning, there's nothing to do but to curls up into a ball on the bed and cry all night long. John tells him to shut up every once in a while or he'll do it again, but he doesn't and it's a blessing. The man shows him an ounce of mercy on occasion which is rare, it usually seems to signal the calm before the storm. Before things get much <em>worse.</em></p><p>Surprisingly in the morning, his keys are on the nightstand and it's the first thing he sees when he wakes up. Castiel quickly grabs them and goes out to his car after changing into scrubs. There's no time to check on Dean or to grab something to eat, all he really needed was someone to talk to so he drives to go visit Meg at her apartment and he shows up before eight in the morning with two coffees. </p><p>Meg opens the door wearing a large men's shirt that goes down to her knees and her hair is a complete mess on her head. "What are you-" she blinks up at him. "</p><p>"I brought coffee-" he smiles wearily down at the nurse, knowing it's a shitty thing to wake her up before noon on her day off.</p><p>Meg takes one of the coffees and leaves the door wide open for him before sitting down on the couch. "So, what brings you to my cave so early-" she sips on the drink, eyes </p><p>Castiel sits down next to her and fully intends on saying <em>something </em>but breaks down into tears instead, one hand goes up to cover his eyes. </p><p>"What happened-" she sets her drink on the coffee table before pulling the doctor into her arms, he willingly rests his head on her bare lap. "What's wrong-" she tries again, her fingers running through his dark brown hair. "You can tell me-" </p><p>"He hit me-" Castiel says softly, clutching to her for dear life.</p><p>Meg sighs, "I knew he was gonna do it again." Castiel nods, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. "You gotta leave him-" </p><p>Castiel knows he should, knows he has to leave, but <em>Dean.. </em>"I'm scared to-"</p><p>"I know you are, but you need to leave-" after a moment of silence she says, "You can live here with me until you find a place-"</p><p>Castiel sits up, hugging himself. "I don't know about that-"</p><p>"Come on!" She shrieks, "He'll never find you here-" </p><p>They talk about things over their coffees for a while and Castiel must have been there three hours total before finally getting up from her couch. Work was a no go today and by hour two, he had already called in sick. "I should get going and you need your rest-" he smiles apologetically.</p><p>Meg escorts him to the door and they hug briefly but tightly before she gives him the order to get out of the relationship with John as soon as possible. He lies by saying that he will, but they both know he wasn't going to escape yet. She knew all about being in an abusive relationship, it's hard to leave. You say you will but you won't, not until something really bad happens. </p><p>That night Castiel is at home alone with John, who had apologized as soon as he'd walked in through the door. He'd accepted it just so they could put what happened behind them and move on like always. John was in a good mood and actually brought Castiel a warm bowl of soup for him to eat in bed as if he were just sick and not at all upset about getting hit.</p><p>Everything was going as well as it possibly could given recent events, that's until Castiel's phone keeps buzzing with messages from Meg, which John thinks are from the stripper his boyfriend has been seeing.</p><p>"Whose that?" John asks once he can't take the buzzing sound coming from the other side of the bed.</p><p>"My friend from work-" Castiel answers mindlessly, he was sitting up and reading a book. </p><p>"Liar-" John reaches for the phone only to find out that his phone was locked. "What's your password?"</p><p>Castiel steals his phone back, "I'm not giving it to you, stop being like this-" it was the wrong thing to do because John grabs his book and tosses it across the bedroom. "Hey!" Soon after his book ends up on the floor, he's being dragged out of bed by his ankles. "Stop!" </p><p>John ignores him and starts off by slapping him a few times before the man actually fucks Castiel and fucks him forcefully. He's manhandled onto his stomach, his pants are pulled down to his ankles, then it <em>begins. </em>The man didn't just rape Castiel, he smacked him around while doing so. "Stop!" Castiel begs throughout the entire ordeal. The bedroom was filled with his gasps and cries of anguish until the man was finally done with him. "Stop-" he moans weakly.</p><p>"I'm done, bitch-" he stands, doing his belt.</p><p>"I hate you-" that's the last ting Castiel says before his world goes black. </p><p>When his eyes open, he comes to realize that he hurts everywhere. He's got the worse headache he's ever had and for a moment he's forgotten what happened until the memory comes flooding in and he's reaching for his phone that had fallen off the nightstand. Castiel called Meg and when she didn't answer he texted her one word. <em>Help.</em></p><p>Castiel looks around the room from where he lays on the floor and he seems to be alone right now- his thoughts quickly jump from John to Dean. "Dean-" he drawls out, blood dribbles from his mouth. "Ugh, fuck-" he spits onto the floor before forcing himself up and goes to the bathroom to clean himself up before checking on the boy because he thinks this is like all other times, that he can just wash his face or take a shower and it'll be <em>gone.</em></p><p>The second he catches his reflection he almost get's scared, thinking it was a stranger staring back at him. Castiel's face was black and blue, his lip was busted- his eyes were dark. The thing that scared him the most was the black bruise over his left eye, he'd cry if he didn't hurt so much because the broken person in the mirror looked like something straight out of a horror film. </p><p>"Shit-" Castiel groans in pain as he pokes underneath his bruised and bloodshot eye. John must have popped a blood vessel in his eye when he'd punched him, it was completely red except for the blue at he center. "Damn it-" he rinses his mouth with water in the sink.</p><p>Loud banging at the door frightens him for a second before he goes to answer it and there's pain while making his way through the empty home. "Meg-" he sighs before collapsing into her arms.</p><p>"Oh my God!" She screams. "Cas! Don't fall asleep-" Meg guides him into a sitting position on the floor before pulling out her phone to call an ambulance. "Oh my God, oh my God-" she chants to herself while on the line.</p><p>Castiel's world goes black once again, he'd been so sleepy so he just closed his eyes for a second. When he opens them once more he realizes it wasn't a second- it must have been a a few hours because now he's in a hospital room with terribly bright lighting. He thinks he's alone and takes the privacy as an opportunity to cry but as soon as he starts, there's movement in the bright room.</p><p>"Shh-" Meg comes over to his bed, the scrubs she was wearing indicate that she was working. "You're okay-"  her fingers comb lightly through his hair.</p><p>Castiel nods, tears streaming down his face. "What-" he clears his throat, suppressing a cough. "What time is it-"</p><p>"You've been here two days-"</p><p>"Damn-" he shakes his head. "What happened-" </p><p>"You don't remember?" Castiel shakes his head, he was lying. "John almost killed you-" Meg's voice trembles.</p><p>"What's the damage-" Castiel huffs, wincing in pain. </p><p>"Concussion-" Meg says quietly, holding his hand. "Cracked rib, among everything else that bastard did to you-" she couldn't look directly in his eyes because one of them was completely red and It scared her.</p><p>"Thank you for coming-" Castiel mumbles, licking his fat bottom lip. </p><p>Now the nurse knows he was lying about not having remembered anything. "When you texted help-" her sentence dies off. "I already knew something like this had to have happened. You've never sent me a text like that before-" she begins to cry.</p><p>"Don't-" Castiel squeezes her hand.</p><p>They talk for a while longer before the nurse has to get back to work and she leaves forcefully out of obligation to her career. Surely if she had been in the room when John came stomping around looking for Castiel, she would have denied the man access to even look at him. </p><p>"Hey-" John comes into the room, with Dean trailing behind him. "Told Dean here you weren't feelin' well and he begged to come see you."</p><p>Castiel smiles when he sees the boy, "Dean-" his eyes tear up because he was relieved to see that he didn't have a scratch on him. Dean was perfect, as usual.</p><p>"What happened to you-" Dean says quietly and walks up to the hospital bed, holding onto the railing. "I was gonna tell you about my sleepover but you never came home-"</p><p>"He was in a car accident." John tells Dean, "Right Cas?" the man comes up behind his son and rests his large hands on his shoulders.</p><p>"Right-" Castiel swallows dryly, hiding the extreme pain he was in.</p><p>Dean punches him lightly in the arm, "Stupid-" he says with a silly smile. </p><p>"Yeah, I know-" Castiel licks his fat lip again, his eyes are glued to the boy because it's been two days since he's seen that sweet face.</p><p>"Your eye looks cool-" Dean mentions suddenly,"You look like a monster."</p><p>Castiel nods, not taking offense to the boys comment because it was true, he did look like a monster thanks to his father. </p><p>"So, you comin' home when they let ya out?" John says casually and is scanning the room for something to steal, if anything.</p><p>Castiel doesn't want to go home, but <em>Dean.. </em>so he nods anyways. "Of course-" and his eyes don't leave the boys face when he agrees to go back.</p><p>Dean says, "We came yesterday too but you were sleeping-" his fingers are playing with his IV line.</p><p>Castiel pulls the line from his fingers and hands him the television remote to play with instead. Dean goes to sit on the chair and begins to flip through the channels in search of some cartoons or something fun to watch. A whine comes from him every few clicks because there was nothing but soap operas on during the day. No cartoons, no nothing.</p><p>John walks up to him and Castiel says, "I hate you-" bitterly. The man laughs, nodding because he already knows, he just doesn't give a damn. "I wish I never met-" his words die down when he hears Dean laughing on the chair to something that was on the television. </p><p>"You love <em>me </em>and Dean, shut up-" the mechanic ruffles up his dark hair before picking up his son and sitting down on the chair. Now Dean's sitting on his knee and it makes Castiel cringe in disgust, not that he knew about anything that John did to him- it was more out of jealousy because Dean was a great kid.</p><p>The Winchester duo keep Castiel company until late at night when both Castiel and Dean fall asleep, that's when John carries his tired boy through the hospitals darkened hallways and down to the parking lot where the impala was parked. Dean had been pretty fussy on the ride home after he'd woken up in a grumpy mood, which he quickly put a stop to by threatening to spank him in front of Castiel. </p><p>John knew that Dean looked up to Castiel in some way so getting a spanking in front of the guy would be humiliating and he's proven right when Dean behaves the rest of the drive home. The threat stuck around and he remained very well behaved all through their dinner of fried chicken on the couch too, barely even made a peep. </p><p>"When's he coming home-" Dean asks as his father is helping him into his twin bed after a day that seemed to drag on and on.</p><p>"He was hurt pretty bad so maybe in a few days-" and he says that without an ounce of guilt or remorse before he gets under the covers with his son. His hands are kneading his plush thighs while his son whimpers uncomfortably.</p><p>"I don't like it-" Dean's eyebrows are knit together in confusion, looking up at his father. </p><p>Johns hands grope his front over his pajamas and he feels something sticking up, "If ya don't like it, what's this-" he jiggles the little thing roughly over the fabric. </p><p>"Agh-" Dean whines in pain, his nose scrunching up. His father kisses his forehead before his lips begin to kiss lower and lower until he's french kissing the boys neck. "Ow-" he whines awkwardly.</p><p>John's feeling extra hot tonight and decides to do something he's never done before on a whim, he rolls his sons small body over so that he's on his stomach now. "Shh-" he whispers softly before gripping both sides of Dean's small waist to dry hump the plush heaven to orgasm.</p><p>Dean's cheek is pressed to the mattress and he whimpers in fear, this didn't hurt but it felt weird and it's never happened before. "Daddy-" the word comes out because he's extremely scared of what's going on behind him. His father sounded almost feral, like a hungry wolf. "Dad-"</p><p>"You're fine, be quiet-" John reassures him breathlessly, he was close and his movements were getting rougher. Now it was starting to really hurt Dean and he knew it because the boy began to cry loudly, so loud the that nothing couldn't muffle it. "Fuckkk-" he suddenly comes in his jeans and slowly gets up from the bed.</p><p>Dean's propped up on his elbows and still laying on his stomach, looking over his shoulder at him through his wet eyelashes, "Daddy-" his hands were gripping his batman bed sheets tightly. </p><p>"It's alright, go to sleep-" John kisses his messy hair before leaving him alone. </p><p>As soon as Dean hears the bedroom door close across the hall he gets up and rushes to the bathroom. Once he's in there, he pushes down his pajama bottoms and feels his butt with his fingers. When he looks at them, they're wet and sticky- he doesn't understand what it means or what it is. Dean uses an entire roll of toilet paper to wipe himself dry before going back to bed.</p><p>While he's laying in bed, he can't help the few tears that escape his eyes because he's so confused. Dean does something he probably shouldn't, he calls Castiel and there was no answer. Little did he know, Castiel's phone was forgotten under the bed in his fathers room- it's been there since he'd texted Meg for help. That's how John found the phone, he'd heard it buzzing under the bed and grabbed it to see that it was his son who was calling.</p><p>John was confused as to why he would be calling Castiel so late at night and he's kept awake half the night wondering why Dean would be calling him at <em>all.</em></p><p>It's been a few more days that Castiel has been in the hospital and they haven't gone back to visit him either, no matter how much Dean had begged. After what John had done to Dean, the boy was now refusing to shower and would run outside when he was told to do so. It took three days for him to finally have enough, he was going to get his son into the shower one way or another and most likely by force.</p><p>"Get over here!" John roars, yanking his dirty son to the bathroom and locking the door behind him. "You're getting a shower today!" he yells, pointing a finger at the boy who was on the floor, throwing a fit. John starts the shower, "Get in-" he orders.</p><p>Dean yells, "No!" even though he knew he needed to get in that shower. It'd been raining and mud somehow found him, It was under his fingernails and in his hair, but he didn't want to take off his clothes.</p><p>"You're gettin' in there one way or the other-" he moves to yank off the boys shirt and his scream is so high pitched that John ends up spanking him to get him to shut up. "Stop it!-" next he pulls down the boys shorts and underwear before man handling him into the shower even if it was hurting the boy.</p><p>Dean doesn't scream again but he's crying like a five year old as the water hits him. "Mommm-" he sobs in emotional distress.</p><p>"She ain't here, shut up-" John slaps his ass once more, making it cherry red now. "Wash that dirty hair-" he's looking down at the boy who shakes his head, still whining for his mother. "Then I'll wash it-" he squirts bubble bath into his hand and starts lathering up the boys hair roughly.</p><p>"Agh-" Dean winces, "Agh!!" he shouts because it was stinging his eyes.</p><p>John grabs the batman cup and uses it to rinse his sons clean hair, "You think I like gettin' calls from school tellin' me to give you a bath?" he huffs angrily as he squirts more bubble bath onto his hands so he can wash his sons body next- and he does it just as roughly, his nails basically scratching every inch of his skin to get it clean once again. </p><p>Dean's got his angry face on and just submits to his father washing him, until his soapy fingers rub between his butt cheeks- that's when he screams in that way that hurts his fathers ears, earning him a another spank. By now he's learned to stay quiet so when John's large hand is washing his front, he doesn't scream.</p><p>Once the water begins to run clear, John helps his boy step out of the shower and towel dries his hair, then his naked body. Dean whispers, "My butt hurts-" John quickly spins to examine his rear end and begins to rub the irritated flesh. He doesn't complain until thick fingers rub between his cheeks, that's when Dean looks over his shoulder and he doesn't look upset.</p><p>"You like that?" John's voice is hoarse. "I like it-"</p><p>Dean's looking at him in confusion because although it feels weird, it doesn't hurt. John keeps going until he finally pushes him away a few seconds later and saying, "I have to poop-" </p><p>"You're disgusting-" John comments out before exiting the bathroom. </p><p>Dean's still naked when he takes a seat on the toilet fully expecting something to happen but it never does. When he gets up he notices that he feels wet and sticky back there so once again he uses an entire roll of toilet paper to dry himself off. He didn't dare tell his father about this since the guy would probably do worse to him than dry hump him over his pajamas or feel him up with his fingers.</p><p>That night John gets into his sons bed way after he'd gone to sleep. Dean almost hadn't felt the hand that had slipped into his pajamas and was now groping him roughly. He looks over his shoulder in sleepy confusion, "Dad-" </p><p>"Almost done-" </p><p>Dean looks down and sees that his father was jacking off to his ass, "Dad-" his eyes look down in horror at that huge thing in his hands. "What are you doing-"</p><p>"Shh-" John hisses angrily right before he comes all over his hand, traumatizing his son in the process. He keeps feeling his sons ass until his fingers lightly touch between his cheeks, "The fuck-" he almost laughs when his fingers come away a little bit sticky. "You like this-" </p><p>Dean shakes his head frantically, "No-" </p><p>"Aww you like it-" John's demeanor changes, now kissing and slobbering all over the boys face. His fingers rubbing his sons asshole gently between his cheeks, "Your mom got sticky like that too-"</p><p>Dean's interest is peeked only because his mother was mentioned for the first time since she'd left them both, "Sticky how-" he almost doesn't feel the rubbing between his cheeks until a thick finger tries to enter. Once again, he screams in that high pitched note only a child could hit. </p><p>"Stop doing that!" John yanks on his hair, "If I didn't know any better, I'd think I had a little girl instead of a little boy-" Dean starts crying again, sobbing for his mom. "Maybe you're a little girl after all, since you get sticky back here-" </p><p>"Momm-" Dean whines, eyelashes now clumped together because of the dampness of his eyes.</p><p>"I never changed your diapers, maybe you have a pussy in there-" John whispers in his ears grossly. Dean has no idea what his father is talking about, he's a boy and he knows this because his friend Sam is a boy and they both have boy parts down there.</p><p>The house phone rings then so John leaves him alone and Dean was happy about that. As soon as Dean's left alone he quickly runs to the bathroom and locks the door behind him. When John answered the phone, it turned out to be Castiel calling him from his hospital room to let him know that he was getting released in the morning. <em>Finally. </em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Home Sweet Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel had been in the hospital for roughly about a week before finally being released and John couldn't be happier to finally have him back home because the laundry was piling up in the hamper, as were the dishes in the sink.</p><p>Unfortunately for him, Meg would be stopping by every now and then to check on the doctor who he had beaten to a pulp. Luckily no cops were called, as per Castiel's request.</p><p>The mechanic is up bright and early on Saturday morning and is in the kitchen scrambling up some eggs for his son. "Dean!" he calls out to him. "Wake your ass up!" </p><p>A short while later Dean comes padding into the kitchen sleepily with a piece of gum in his mouth. John looks over his shoulder while finishing up by the stove because all he can hear is annoyingly loud smacking.</p><p>When he won't stop smacking he comes over and grabs him by the chin, demanding to know where he got the gum. Chewing gum is no bid deal but there's just some days where anything his pretty son does gets on his damn nerves.</p><p>"Castiel's bag-" he points his chubby finger over to the bag that was on the floor by the door where it always was.</p><p>"Spit it out-" John orders and his son shakes his head, "You want me reachin' inside your mouth for it?" </p><p>Dean instantly gives the wad of gum in his mouth a final chew before spitting it out into his fathers hand. "S'not fair-" he's pouting, bottom lip sticking out sweetly. "Still had flavor-" the look on his fathers face has him regretting ever making such a statement. "Sorry-"</p><p>John wills away the urge to smack his son for being so annoying and places the plate of eggs in front of him at the table. "Goin to go pick up Cas from the hospital right now-" just like that, he's stomping towards the front door to put on his jacket. </p><p>Dean stays put at the table and simply looks down at his eggs that he really doesn't want to eat because they look to <em>yellow. </em>They're always too yellow when his father makes them, Mom made the best and Castiel's eggs come in a very close second. Ranking his fathers cooking skills makes him want to cry because he really just misses his mothers cooking, mostly her homemade apple pie.</p><p>John orders, "Lock the door and don't open it for anyone-" before letting himself out of the home and soon the Impala roars to life just outside.</p><p>Dean was all too used to staying home alone and actually preferred it, unless he was home <em>alone </em>with his fathers friend because they always had fun together. Even if all they really did was watch bad movies while they scarfed down some food, it's still the most fun he's ever had with his own dad. </p><p>Once he's picked at his eggs long enough, that's when he steals another piece of gum from the doctors bag and eventually comes back to take the whole pack. Castiel was cool like that and would never yell at him for taking something without asking, his father was a different story. John Winchester was too strict, way too mean and just no fun at all.</p><p>Boredom overcomes the boy quickly after his gross breakfast that had gone uneaten and his fathers departure so he parks his behind in front of the television to play on his Nintendo. It's the one that Sam had gifted to him after his mother upgraded him to a brand new PlayStation and he'd been jealous but it's not like he could complain when he was also gifted every single Nintendo game that his friend owned as well.</p><p>When the video game get's boring, the boy settles for watching daytime soap operas where people are always crying or <em>kissing. </em>He was actually getting pretty curious about kissing the longer his eyes were glued to the screen in front of him.</p><p>After nearly three hours of being gone, the muffler of his fathers vehicle pops outside and it startles him. Dean shuffles to unlock the door in only his socks but he was beaten to the punch and both men walk into the home with Castiel leaning into John's body for support. They pass by his small existence towards the living room so that they could sit down on the couch to relax.</p><p>Castiel seems to be in a bad mood as they have a conversation in hushed tones regardless if they are even aware that Dean is watching them. They talk among themselves like it's some big secret until John gets pissed and leaves the house because he's supposedly going to the shop to <em>work. </em>Being very clearly aware that he was indeed eavesdropping on their talk, he beckons the boy to come.</p><p>"Dean, I know you're there-" he crooks his finger as a <em>come here </em>when the boy peeks his pretty heard from around the corner. "I want to talk to you, please-"</p><p>Dean walks up to the couch, hands behind his back in shyness. "Hi Castiel-" he says finally like he was dying to talk to him but trying to hide it.</p><p>Castiel smiles boyishly at him, his bad mood over with instantly. "Hi Dean-" they look each other in the eye. "Are you okay?" then he breaks the eye contact to look him up and down to make sure there's not a scratch on him but there never is and Dean is always just <em>perfect.</em></p><p>Dean worries his bottom like like always in the mans presence and instead of answering the question says, "It's boring when you're not here-"</p><p>Castiel smiles with a nod before asking, "Did you eat anything today?" because the boys well being is always on his mind.</p><p>"Dad made eggs-" his nose scrunches up. "But they were yellow, like slime-"</p><p>The man moves to stand up to hopefully try to make some lunch but his body hurt to move the slightest bit and it reminds him that there's a prescription in his wallet that needs to be given to John as soon as possible.</p><p>When it's cleat that he won't be able to cook, "How do you feel about pizza for lunch <em>and</em> dinner?" the question asked seems to  make Dean happy so pizza for all of today is what they will be having.</p><p>Almost an hour later the pizza comes by deliver and Dean is instructed to open the front door and pay the man. He was just happy to keep the almost eight bucks in change because his father rarely gives him any money. Their night is spent watching some animated show that Dean had wanted to watch as they devour the pizza, every now and then they laugh at what's happening on the television. </p><p>When the Impalas loud engine cuts the silence just outside the home, Castiel sighs and Dean makes a bad joke about his father coming home only because he smelled the pizza. It was still a pretty funny joke and he would have laughed if he wasn't dreading his presence. Soon John enters the home regardless of how he feels about it and he doesn't look happy but when does he ever look happy.</p><p>"There's pizza in here-" the information is volunteered when the tired looking man peeks into the living room.</p><p>John walks in and grabs a slice of the pie before sitting down on the couch with his boyfriend on one side of him and his pretty boy on the other. The night had been a nice one up until he'd gotten home and now there was no laughter to speak of, only the sound of the mans loud chewing.</p><p>Castiel looked over at Dean who was sitting at an angle so his body wouldn't be touching his fathers, which he thought was strange since he'd never done that before. After a while he finally gets up and disappears down the dark hallway because the channel was changed to some deer hunting show that he could care less about.</p><p>After a few minutes he says, "I'll be back in a minute-" and tries to get up but it's painful to do alone.</p><p>John helps him up and it surprises the doctor once again because kindness from the man isn't something he witnesses all too often but maybe he was turning over a new leaf. Perhaps feeling guilty for putting him in this condition in the first place which would make more sense. "I'll be outside-" he says before closing the door.</p><p>Castiel sits on the toilet for a while and it's not like he had to go but the peace and quiet of the bathroom was very much welcomes. His true intention was to be able to go check on Dean but the pain in his body just wasn't going to allow it. When he's had enough of peace and quiet for one bathroom break, he calls John to come help him get into the shower.</p><p>Nothing happened when John helped wash the younger mans body because he knew he would be rejected. It was too soon to try to get anything out of him now, maybe in a week. Afterwards he helps Castiel dry off and slip into something comfortable to wear to bed which is their next and final stop of the night. By now Castiel is too exhausted physically to remember that he even wanted to check up on the mans son.</p><p>When the coast is clear and there's no more signs of life in the house, that's when Dean goes out to the living room to grab the last slice of pizza. Not seeing Castiel sleeping on the couch makes him sad because it's where his mother put him to bed when he was sick and on a whim decides to sleep here tonight. The last slice is eaten in front of the television playing on low volume where he eventually falls asleep.</p><p>His father didn't come to snuggle with him now that Castiel was home which only serves to confuse him. There's a feeling of loneliness when he wakes up early in the morning before everyone and goes to get himself a bowl of cereal in the kitchen. John comes into the kitchen to grab his coffee to go a little before eight in the morning and is completely oblivious to his sons presence as he leaves for work.</p><p>The call for help comes soon after the mechanic has left so Dean goes to Castiel's aid in a hurry knowing that he was extremely banged up from his <em>car accident. </em>"Did you need something-" his soft voice disrupts the silence in the house and he's peeking into the cracked open door.</p><p>Castiel waves him over excitedly, "My friend is coming to see me today-" and sits up painfully with a groan. "Mind reaching in there-" points to the dresser. "I need something to wear, anything will do-" and the boy is rushing to obey. "Thank you, you're always so helpful-" he pinches his rosy cheek gently. </p><p>It's a little before noon when there's a knock on the door and Dean rushes over to see who it is like he hadn't been told earlier that the mans friend was stopping by and says "Who are you-" after opening the door to reveal a short woman.</p><p>Meg instantly seems to fall in love with him and gushes, "Oh my god, you're so cute-"</p><p>Dean gets spooked by her strange voice and slams the door in her face. "Castiel!" he yells, going to find him. "There's a weird lady-"</p><p>Castiel explains in a hurry that the <em>weird </em>lady was his friend before going to open the door for her with Dean hiding behind him. </p><p>"Sorry about that, he just spooks easy-" looks over his shoulder at the boy, "Dean's a little shy-" then he hugs the nurse hello before allowing her to come into the home. "I see you brought coffee-" </p><p>Meg blinks because she's still so taken with Dean, "Oh I did-" then hands him his cup. Small talk was the only option because there was an innocent boy not ten feet from them so they couldn't discuss anything too heavy.</p><p>"How's your recovery?" she starts and it's a stupid question because he hasn't been home a full twenty four hours yet.</p><p>They chat for a while and Meg even tries to bring Dean into the conversation by asking him what his favorite super hero is and his favorite color which Castiel learns to be green. Eventually Castiel says, "Dean, why don't you go play in your room?" and the boy nods somberly before disappearing down the hall. </p><p>Meg quickly scoots closer to the doctor on the couch. "How's the jerk? Did he do something to you?"</p><p>Castiel shakes his head, "I've been home one night-"</p><p>"Well then-" she holds onto his hand, "I'm coming over every day then-"</p><p>"You don't have to do that-" Castiel groans in misery, "It's not necessary-" </p><p>"The man almost killed you, like hell I'm going to let you live here and not come check up on you-"</p><p>Castiel huffs in submission because there's not a damn thing he can do about her coming around unannounced.</p><p>"If John sees that you've got people who care about you and are checking on you, he'll be less likely to hurt you really bad." They make intense eye contact. "I'm serious, abusive people isolate their partners so no one can see what's going on behind closed doors.</p><p>Castiel thinks about it while sipping on his drink, "Alright-" then smiles. "You really love me huh?" the nurse nods with a sad smile. </p><p>The nurse must have left an hour after taking the conversation outside to the front porch where they were sure to be safe away from listening ears. Meg stayed almost the entire day and left as the sun was starting to go down in the horizon. Castiel walked her to her car and kissed her cheek before watching his friend drive away until her car rounded the corner of the street.</p><p>When he goes inside he calls out, "Dean-" and goes to the kitchen to look into the fridge for something edible. When he never gets a response from the boy, he goes down the hall to his bedroom to check on him.</p><p>Castiel covers his mouth with his hand because he wants to laugh at the boy who is very excitedly jumping on his bed and somehow not breaking it. "Come on-" he smiles warmly, "Dinner time-" </p><p>Dean jumps off the bed and suddenly looks sick, "I don't feel good-" his hand is on his tummy.</p><p>Castiel quickly comes close but not <em>too close </em>in case the boy was going to get sick from jumping around too much. "What's wrong?"</p><p>The boy looks up with guilt in his eyes, "I drank your coffee-" </p><p>The man sighs, "It's okay-" his hand comes up to caress his rosy cheek. "How about we go for a ride hmm? Get you a happy meal or something-"</p><p>Although his body hurt something terribly, it was nothing a Tylenol and some good Dean time couldn't fix. Castiel drives to get the boy his promised happy meal and instead of going home to eat, they head to a park to enjoy their meal. The park was empty because it was almost nine in the evening but it didn't matter, they were safe in the locked car. </p><p>"So-" Castiel starts, wiping his mouth on a napkin now that he's done eating. "Feeling better now?"</p><p>Dean nods quickly like those chicken nuggets had soaked up all that caffeine he'd ingested. Every now and then he took a sip of Castiel's milkshake which the man didn't mine one bit and saw nothing weird about sharing a drink.</p><p>The park was empty of course so it was just them and the twinkling stars above which they both could see through the window. The music on the radio was soft and it was almost romantic except for the fact that this little outing wasn't a date whatsoever. Dean should have been scared because it was getting so late now, almost ten in the evening and if he was scared, he wasn't showing it.</p><p>Eventually the boy looks up at him and their eyes meet, then quickly looks away. It was cute, Dean sneaking glances at him when he thought he wasn't looking. It happened so often these days and he couldn't fathom as to why that was.</p><p>Castiel shifts in his seat causing the leather to make crinkling sounds over the soft music. "Something on your mind? Dean shrugs, nibbling on his bottom lip. "Dean?"</p><p>The boy looks up at him once more and admits, "I like hanging out with you-" </p><p>"I like hanging out with you too-" he ruffles up the boys short fluffy hair. </p><p>Dean asks softly, "Where is your friend from?" he'd been curious about Meg since she showed up on his doorstep because e'd never heard of her before.</p><p>Castiel smiles, "She works with me at the hospital-" the boy says <em>ohh. </em>"She's been my friend for a long time."</p><p>Dean's face is pink. "Like me and Sam?"</p><p>He chuckles, "Longer than that-"</p><p>Dean's nose scrunches up, "You're really old-" and the doctor doesn't take offense to that, simply laughed- laughed even harder when the boy started counting something on his fingers. </p><p>Castiel playfully shoves the boy, "You don't have enough fingers to count how old I am-" then sighs, closing his eyes- Dean watches his every move- when his eyes open again, he finds the boy still staring at him. "What, do I have food on my face of something-" he reaches for a napkin and tries to dab at his face while looking into the rear view mirror. </p><p>Dean giggles beautifully and looks away, out the window. Castiel smiles before starting the car to head back home, they'd been out long enough and Dean needed to be in bed soon.</p><p>Once he pulls up to the driveway, they both see that the impala was there and he resists the urge to groan in annoyance. Castiel helps Dean into bed quickly and as quietly as he can manage, must have done a good job too because the world didn't shake with John's yelling.</p><p>"Goodnight-" he whispers to the sleepy boy before turning off the light in his room and closing the door. </p><p>Castiel goes to brush his teeth before going into the bedroom to find John fast asleep on the bed. <em>There is a God. </em>He says a quick prayer of thanks to the big guy upstairs after getting under the covers.</p><p>The next day Dean is home alone with his father since Castiel had gone out to dinner with his friend Meg and the man keeps to himself most of the night and he'd been outside changing the oil on the impala. He doesn't say a word to his son until they're done with the macaroni and cheese dinner that was eaten in front of the television.</p><p>After a while John says, "What's the matter with you?" and his son looks up at him, "You're talkin' less than usual-" but his son was talking, just not to him.</p><p>Dean shrugs and asks to go to bed which he does allow because why would he keep him awake longer than he had to, that means having to take care for him.</p><p>Since Castiel wasn't home tonight it's his duty to do the dishes, the laundry and clean up the house before he gets back. Hopefully it shows that he's <em>changing </em>or at least appearing to change because he wants to be in the doctors good graces.</p><p>John hopes that the nurses little surprise visits won't  become a regular thing or else he might actually have to become a decent human being and keep his hands off the doctor in more ways than just the one. Castiel doesn't scare him one bit but Meg is a whole different story because she will actually do something about him if he messes up once again.</p><p>After the house is as spotless as it can get and after a quick shower, the mechanic is sneaking in to his sons room and gets under the covers. Dean whimpers sweetly in his sleep, having not felt the hot body of his father laying next to him, at least not until he feels something grinding up against his butt. Dean opens his eyes and looks over his shoulder, whining loudly in defiance. </p><p>"Shh-" the man huffs, his hands are gripping his sons small waist as he chases his orgasm on the plush bottom. "Mmm-"</p><p>Dean shuts his eyes tightly, biting his lip because it felt weird and good in the front. He didn't know what was going on was wrong and he didn't understand why he liked his little thing rubbing up against the mattress under him. Eventually his forehead falls to the pillow and hugs it tightly because he's starting to feel good, sort of like how it did when he touched himself in Sam's bathroom during their sleepover. </p><p>"Ugh-" Dean moans softly, his eyes still shut tightly. "Daddy-"</p><p>"M'done-" John huffs before getting up off the twin bed. "Tomorrow you're due for a shower-" and he's gone, closing the door behind himself. </p><p>The next day John goes to work early and Dean's happy about it, so is Castiel since he had the day off. He made bacon and eggs for breakfast and watched the boy simply pick at the meal with his fork until he excuses himself from the table to go lay on the couch to watch television. Castiel keeps an eye on the boy while he eats, he hasn't said a word to him in almost two days now. Sure, he wasn't a chatter box but he usually said <em>something.</em></p><p>Late in the afternoon is when Castiel has had enough of the silence and asks the boy to go take a walk with him through the neighborhood. </p><p>"Don't wanna-" he says from where he was laying on the couch and sucking his thumb even though he was eleven- it was a comfort thing.</p><p>Castiel takes notice of that and begs, "Please?" a short pause. "It's good for me to walk." after a few more seconds, "If you don't come with me I could fall over and whose going to help me get up?" he fakes a groan of pain, hand on his lower back.</p><p>The very exaggerated groans of pain and the mixture of his puppy dog sky blue eyes seem to work because soon they are both slipping into their jackets and stepping into their shoes to head out. </p><p>Eventually he asks, "How's school going?" as they walk through the neighborhood with no real direction. </p><p>The chilly breeze made it feel that much colder, giving them both blushed faces in the late afternoon. They'd been out on their stroll ten minutes and neither of them had said anything, mostly because Castiel knew the boy didn't want to talk and he was getting more curious as to why the hell not.</p><p>Dean softly says "S'okay-" while walking alongside the older man with his hands behind his back- it was a habit from elementary school he couldn't seem to shake no matter how hard he tried.</p><p>Any daylight that was left had completely gone and the street lights begin to glow above their heads to let them both know that it was time to head back. The mans arm is wrapped around the boy protectively as they slowly walk back but they stop before even making it to their mailbox. </p><p>Dean kicks the ground angrily before muttering, "Wish mom was here-"</p><p>The man would kneel down to look him in the eye but doing so would be too painful in his condition so all he can do is bring him close and keep walking back to the house. Dean was sad and it was beyond obvious, it's so clear that he wanted his mother more than anything. Times like these is when Castiel feels extremely guilty for possibly being the reason why his father and mother split up.</p><p>After their walk they're sitting at the kitchen table having dinner and Dean's been nursing the same dinner roll for twenty minutes. Castiel could tell he wasn't hungry but he just smiled at the boy kindly, letting him know that he's there for him and he got a small smile in return. </p><p>Eventually John comes home, the door slams shut and Dean quickly runs down the hall to his room. Maybe he should have caught on that something strange was going on when he wasn't around but it's possible that he just couldn't fathom that John Winchester could be so horrible of a man to do anything to his son. Except that he <em>was </em>that terrible and he's just too naive to actually see it.</p><p>John enters the kitchen and sits down at the table with the doctor, "Well?" he says with his mouth full. The man didn't wait to be served his own plate and simply would finish off his sons meal that was left behind.</p><p>Castiel swallows the food in his mouth before answering, "Well what?"</p><p>"When do I get to fuck you again?" </p><p>Castiel has to think about it for a moment because he's a man and he's got needs but eventually says no. "You hurt me, so probably never-"</p><p>"You're an only child, forgot you never got used to rough housin'-"</p><p>Castiel gets up from the table to get started on the dishes and his mind goes straight to the gutter in no time. Sure he's badly hurt but the desire for sexual contact is always present because he's younger than John and can still fuck like he's twenty. The longing to be twenty year old college student again so he could redo his entire life is too real sometimes, because the rest of his life will most likely be spent <em>trapped </em>with this man.</p><p>Briefly his thoughts to to Alex, the male dancer at the club but he shakes that thought from his mind. It's clear to him that he will never be able to cheat just to keep himself sane. His options are limited here- don't cheat and stay miserable, or cheat and risk getting caught. Getting caught means another beating and he won't he risking that any time soon.</p><p>Castiel snaps out of it suddenly to the sensation of lips kissing the back of his neck, "Stop-" his voice is weak. A big strong hand reaches forward to grope his hardening cock over the thick denim of his jeans and it felt so good. "Mmmm-" he bites his lip, looking down at the hand that was roughly pawing at his crotch.</p><p>"Still don't want me?" the words are whispered.</p><p>Now two large hands are at work to unbutton his jeans and pushing them down just low enough for his cock to come free. "Ugh, John-" he groans urgently. The calloused hand working his hard cock doesn't let up it's movements until he's come all over it in less than two minutes.</p><p>John quickly shoves him aside so he can wash his hands in the sink which he does his best not to take it personally but sometimes the guy treated him like he was just plain ugly. Castiel pulls up his jeans, buttoning them before pulling the older man close for a kiss which is rejected instantly. The look on his face has his eyes welling up with tears because getting denied a simple kiss after an unwanted orgasm is hard bare. </p><p>"Oh stop that-" the man shoves him out of the way again, stomping to the bathroom for a shower. </p><p>Castiel couldn't understand what the point of what just happened was, It was like a huge mind fuck of a game and he couldn't keep up no matter what he did or how hard he tried to understand the rules.</p><p>By the time the mechanic comes into the bedroom after his shower, Castiel is in bed reading with his glasses on. John gets into bed next to him, turning on the television in their room.</p><p>Eventually Castiel puts his book away and leans back in bed so he can watch whatever his boyfriend is currently watching but getting ignored hurts too badly, so he turns on his side to go to sleep. He doesn't understand why he's so hurt by his rejection, it's not like he loves the guy or anything. Deep down he knows it's the fact that with John Winchester, he somehow feels like he's never good enough even when he gives everything.</p><p>Maybe an hour or two later in the deep darkness of the bedroom Castiel is being rolled over onto his stomach and John is grinding up against his clothed bottom.</p><p>"John?" he looks over his shoulder sleepily and up at him. "What are you doing-"</p><p>"Shh-" John actually pulls the doctors sweatpants down because he isn't his son so he can actually get away with fucking him. "Can you call me daddy-" the question is asked nervously.</p><p>Castiel blinks the sleep and shock from his eyes without responding, his mind is still trying to catch up because he's never called anyone <em>daddy. </em>Much less a man who wasn't his father.</p><p>"Just do it-" his large hand is roaming freely under the doctors shirt, rubbing up and down. </p><p>Castiel softly says "Daddy-" and Johns rolls him over, admiring the rosy flush to his cheeks due to the heat being cranked up higher than usual due to the cold weather. "What are you doing-" he pauses. "Daddy-" </p><p>"Fucking you, that's what I'm doin'-"</p><p>The mechanic completely strips the younger mans pajama pants off his body and bends him in half before pushing his way inside dry and raw. Castiel winces in pain before he moans softly, his mouth is slightly open and his eyes are looking up into dark brown.</p><p>"You're fucking cute-" he comments before pushes Castiel's knees wide open, holding them there so he could watch his cock going in and out of him.</p><p>Eventually John pushes Castiel's shirt up to expose his nipples before he begins licking and sucking on them. He's only doing this because he wishes he could do all of this to Dean, but is settling for the doctors body. It doesn't take him long before he becomes a whimpering, uncontrollable crying mess underneath the mechanic, which only turns him on even more.</p><p>Castiel had such a young looking face and right now, he looked almost as young and sweet as his own son did. It makes John go crazy and he begins pounding into the slender man beneath him. The silent room is filled with groans and whimpers that mostly come from Castiel because John was rather <em>large </em>below the belt. It took some getting used to, but it felt great nonetheless.</p><p>"Gonna come for daddy?" the man asks lovingly, peppering kisses all over the doctors face, down to his neck.</p><p>Castiel nods quickly, "Fuck-" before wrapping his legs and arms tightly around the mechanic above him.</p><p>John's movements became rougher, so rough that he's having an anal orgasm for the first time and it leaves him whimpering like a small child. His boyish looks and sounds at the moment are enough to have him coming right then, and he comes inside the twitching asshole that refuses to let go of him.</p><p>"You alright?" John asks, not looking at him- instead looking for something to wipe off his dick with. </p><p>Castiel nods, "Yeah-" and pulls the blanket over his sticky and sweaty body in humiliation. "Why did you make me call you-" he can't say it, "-that." </p><p>John lays back in bed after grabbing his brand new pack of smokes from the top of the nightstand. "Spicing things up-" he lies, peeling off the film and then puts a cigarette between his lips.</p><p>Castiel's feeling really needy after his first anal orgasm so he snuggles into the mechanic and is surprised when the man wraps an arm around him. That's how they fall asleep for the first ever and he would be lying if he said it didn't feel good. He can't help but fall asleep with the hint of a smile at the thought that maybe things will change from now on.</p><p>What he doesn't know will certainly hurt him because as long as John Winchester is around, nothing will ever <em>change.</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Go Away With Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel pulls into the driveway with a groan because the mechanics impala was parked there when it usually wasn't at this time in the afternoon. Going inside right then seems dreadful so he stays in his car to finish his iced coffee before tossing it in the garbage can that had been set out by the curb for trash day.</p><p>It's only when he lets himself into the home that he hears the hellish screams that could only belong to the one and only Dean Winchester. What the <em>hell </em>is going on? The boy was squealing at the top of his lungs.</p><p>Castiel drops his bag on the floor before rushing over to where the screams were coming from and bangs on the bathroom door. "Dean, open up! It's me!" as soon as the boy opens the door, it was evident that he was crying by how puffy and red his face was.</p><p>There's no time to analyze the boy or to ask questions because stuff in the bedroom was being kicked around and the psychopath in there was screaming about God only knows so Castiel lifts Dean into his arms and runs down the hallway, outside to his car.</p><p>The boy screams "Dad!" in fear and it wasn't because he was sort of being kidnapped. It was because he saw his super scary father step out angrily from the bedroom the second they exited the home.</p><p>Dean quickly climbs into the back seat of the doctors car as soon as the doors unlock as if knowing that their survival depends on getting out of there as fast as they can. He buckles himself in with shaky fingers and is just happy that his spider man doll was in his hand already or else he might have been more freaked out by what's going on.</p><p>Their eyes meet in the rear view mirror after buckling in, "We're going out for a while-" and the front door opens to reveal an angry John Winchester. He quickly locks all four doors in the car before speeding off without a second thought as to where they're going or for how long. </p><p>It seems like John gets angrier and scarier the longer that they're <em>together </em>but maybe it's just who he really is and it's just getting harder to hide his true self. Castiel is in deep thought as he drives through town slowly because there's no destination to reach. His eyes catch the boys gaze in the rear view mirror every now and then, the look he gets breaks his heart because it's a look of confusion and fear.</p><p>Soon enough the gas light turns on with the familiar <em>ding ding ding </em>sound. "I need to stop somewhere-" he admits, not looking into the backseat this time because that look he keeps getting hurts too damn much to see. After pulling into the nearest gas station, "Do you need to use the bathroom?" he asks, still not looking into the mirror.</p><p>Dean shyly says <em>yes </em>and Castiel quickly gets out of the car, pumping a couple gallons of gas into the vehicle before holding the boys hand all the way into the gas station. He hadn't intended to hold his hand but Dean reached out for him first and it was most likely done out of the uncertainty of this whole situation.</p><p>They both enter the bathroom together but only Dean goes into an empty stall on his own. Castiel can hear him <em>going </em>shyly in there but tries to ignore it because having to tear the kid away from his father kills him but it wasn't safe to be at home right now. It crosses his mind as to what could have happened if he hadn't gone home when he did, by luck he even went home at all tonight.</p><p>Castiel has been feeling a little crazy lately like he just wanted to get the heck out of dodge regardless of what it meant for himself or anyone else. He even thought about going back to the club to see the dancer hes got that major crush on. Now, it's clear to him that he can't be doing this shit- can't stay out late like he had been the last few weeks since meeting Alex.</p><p>There's no sound coming from the stall now so he comes closer to it, "Did he hurt you?" the words are whispered carefully through the opening but his eyes are averted so that the boys privacy isn't violated.</p><p>The door quickly unlocks and out comes Dean with a shrug of his shoulders. "Dad was just really mad-" he looks up with scared eyes. "He went to go see your friend today-"</p><p>Castiel has his brows furrowed in confusion, "You mean Meg?"</p><p>"No-" he shakes his head innocently. "The one who works at Porky's-" it's not like he knew that <em>Porky's </em>was a male strip club but was reciting word for word what his father had told him. "He said that your new friend was gonna steal you from us-" </p><p>Castiel swallows audibly because he hopes that John didn't actually find Alex and beat him up too or <em>worse. </em>He regrets not getting the dancers number now because he's unable to ask him what happened or check in on him but there's nothing that can be done about that currently. </p><p>They wash up their hands in the sink and browse the candy aisle for Dean to grab himself something sweet to maybe cheer him up. There's a mounting guilt in his stomach, that his indiscretions put Dean in danger. The boy looks up at him with a pretty smile on his lips after having selected two chocolate bars and yes, that guilt he felt quickly turns into nausea. </p><p>Once in the car Castiel looks into the back seat, "Listen Dean-" he swallows again. "We can't go home tonight, it's not safe because of how mad your father is-"</p><p>Dean hugs his spider man doll to his chest and nods, like he doesn't want to go home tonight either. "Okay-" is all he says before they head off again, both not really knowing where to yet.</p><p>They go pick up some much needed fast food before finding somewhere to stay at and luckily they were able to find a decent looking mote. Checking in was a little awkward because he's got dark hair and blue eyes and Dean's got greenest eyes ever with freckles and light brown hair. They got lucky and the person at the front desk didn't ask any questions but he had his answer ready anyway and was prepared to lie and say that the boy took after his mother who was very <em>white.</em></p><p>Castiel unlocks the motel door with his key and guides the eleven year old boy through the threshold before anyone could see them. For some reason he felt like he was doing something wrong, something very illegal by being at a motel with a small boy. It's not like he was going to do anything like <em>that </em>with him or too him but that feeling lingers for a while.</p><p>After they take a seat at the small table that was placed near the window, Castiel unpacks the happy meal he had purchased Dean. The meal is eaten slowly, almost shyly and in silence. It's strange because they've shared many meals by now but this was different because they weren't at the house. He finishes his burger first and then just watches the boy eat in even more awkward silence.</p><p>"It's nice-" Dean says while looking around with his last chicken nugget in hand. "-are we on a vacation?" </p><p>Castiel smiles sadly, "Something like that, yeah."</p><p>Not long after their meal Is when Dean goes to the bed and climbs on top of it with his doll tucked under his arm, then hugs it tightly to his chest once he's comfortable. Castiel finds the remote and turns on the television just so that there's some noise going on in the room. Even the cartoons in the background aren't enough to drown out the buzzing happening in his pocket.</p><p>John's calls are coming in every few minutes and it's making him a nervous wreck because he's feeling like at any moment the door will be broken down by the cops. Surely they will put him away forever just for taking this boy and getting a motel room with him, regardless of the circumstances. He begins to pace around the room while biting his nails mindlessly, trying to think of what to do now.</p><p>His eyes eventually land on Dean who was watching him instead of the flickering screen in front of him. "Do you have home work tonight?" and it's a pointless question because even if he did have any, his backpack was long forgotten in their haste to get out of the house.</p><p>A shy <em>no </em>comes out of the boy in response, if it was true or not he didn't know and it probably doesn't matter at a time like this. Tomorrow was Friday and he's guessing that the boy won't be going to school tomorrow because he doesn't have a change of clothes with him and it's too late to go pick up something new from a store.</p><p>Castiel busies himself with picking up their trash from the table near the window and trying to clean up the motel that was already pretty much clean. The urge to just go to the house is there but they can't risk it because John would still be pissed. He did technically kidnap his son even if it was for his own safety, it really wouldn't be a surprise if when they get home it's to see a bunch of cops waiting for them.</p><p>After a while of pacing the boy asks, "Do you have to pee-" and points at him because he won't stop moving around the room like a crazy person. "You're walking a lot-"</p><p>Castiel glares at him sitting on the bed Indian style with spider man sitting safely on his lap. "Sorry-" he says once he's realized that he hasn't kept still since they got there. "I'm just nervous-" then finally takes a seat on the edge of the bed like he didn't just fork over cash to be able to be comfortable here.</p><p>They watch television for a while until Castiel finally lays back on the bed after getting over his feelings about being in a motel. It's not long before Dean begins crying because it sinks in that they won't be going home tonight and now all he wants is his mom. Castiel pulls him close to his chest in order to offer some type of comfort and his hand runs up and down his back innocently. </p><p>A <em>Shh </em>is whispered every once in a while in hopes to calm him down but the boy keeps chanting the word <em>mommy </em>between sobs. It's pretty heartbreaking to say the least and he feels terrible about it once again.</p><p>Eventually asking, "What would your mother do when you were upset?" because he wants the tears to stop for more reasons than just one. Plus it can't hurt to know this information for future reference. </p><p>Dean hiccups before answering with the God honest truth. "She kissed me-" another hiccup. "On my cheek-" and the man nods with no intention of doing that right then. "Can you do it-" he had to fucking ask for it, didn't he. </p><p>Castiel can't seem to resist those pretty green eyes looking up at him so prettily. "Of course I can do it-" he sighs before leaning in close to press his lips against that soft cheek. <em>Mmmuah, </em>his lips smack loudly before pulling away. "How was that?"</p><p>Dean smiles shyly, "Again-" it was beyond obvious that he wanted another by the precious look on his face.</p><p>Castiel hesitates for a minute before pressing his lips to the boys baby soft skin once more. "Muuuah-" </p><p>The boy begins to giggle softly but beautifully so he keeps kissing those blushing cheeks, again and again. He begins to really enjoy kissing him and forces himself to stop doing it before things get out of hand, which they very well could. </p><p>Castiel clears his throat before he smiles, "Feel better?" </p><p>Dean smiles with a nod, "Yea-" </p><p>He really just can't help himself, the boy had really cute cheeks and had to poke them with his index finger. "Such a cutie-" they smile at each other. "Let's get some sleep, alright?"</p><p>Dean quickly moves to get himself and spider man under the covers next to Castiel who finds the new closeness uncomfortable but <em>nice. </em>For the first time ever, they will be sharing the bed all night long and completely <em>alone. </em>It has him feeling anxious to watch the boy sleeping so close to him like this, maybe it'd make a difference if he'd gotten the chance to change out of his work clothes.</p><p>It's like mixing the hospital with Dean which is something he doesn't like the idea of because he wants to leave work at work. Dean is part of what makes home so safe and comfortable and right now it all feels weird.</p><p>Castiel doesn't know when it happened but it did, all those sighs and little sounds that came out of Dean while sleeping seemed to have turned him on. It sounds sick and he knows this instantly but it's not like he has any control of what happens in his pants. Against his better judgement his hand ghosts down his own body until he's full on groping himself over his pants. </p><p>His eyes are focused on the boy sleeping next to him, admiring his beautiful face until he can't take it anymore. That's when he peels himself away from that death grip on him and goes to the bathroom.</p><p>Castiel quickly sits down on the toilet seat and pushes down his pants so he can jack off as quick as possible just to make his erection go away. His large hand wraps around his cock and strokes slowly as to not make any noise but the occasional hitched breath or groan escape from his parted lips. After he's gotten that release, he feels no better and actually more guilty than before.</p><p>As soon as he's back under the covers, the boy rolls over and once again decides to use his midsection as a pillow. His cock begins to fatten up in his pants all over again in less than a few minutes. <em>Shit.. </em></p><p>Castiel stays awake until the mornings rays of sun are peeking in through the see through motel curtains because there was no way he would be able to sleep at all with Dean so close to him like he was. The thought of rolling over in his sleep and squashing him was a concern of him, among other more troubling things that he could have done while sleeping.</p><p>When his stomach begins growling faintly is when he shakes the boy gently to wake him, "Dean-" but he doesn't awaken yet, only whimpers sweetly in response.</p><p>It was clear that Castiel was going to burn in hell for thinking his sleepy noises where the cutest thing ever. His view of the boy was enticing to say the least. Those thick long lashes fluttering as if he was caught up in some fascinating dream, not to mention those pink lips just parted open for him to try and slip his tongue in there. He's dying to get a taste of his mouth even if it was wrong.</p><p>The man contemplates stealing a little kiss but it was too late, pale green eyes open up suddenly to stare into his soul. Why does he keep doing <em>that? </em>Maybe all kids stare so intensely like this but he doesn't know because being around them is so new. Suddenly the boy smiles, eyes fluttering sleepily and he yawns before telling him something that he really wasn't expecting.</p><p>"I was a bunny-" </p><p>Castiel blinks in confusion, "What?"</p><p>Dean giggles shyly. "In my dream-" then sits up innocently while holding his doll against him. "I was a bunny, and I ate all the flowers-"</p><p>The man smiles because he was just so sweet. "I'm sure whoever those flowers belong too wouldn't mind such a cute bunny like you eating them-" </p><p>Dean smiles and his shoulders go up in shyness, like he's trying to hide away into himself like a turtle would. Castiel takes a quick but very <em>cold </em>shower before they head out because he may or may have not just innocently tickled the boy in bed to the verge of tears. Of course he's aware that he's got a front row seat in hell waiting for him because of it and it was worth hearing every gasp and giggle.</p><p>The man emerges from the bathroom a while later with wet hair sticking to his forehead and wearing the same scrubs from yesterday. Yet now he smelled nice all over and Dean thought so too, powdery fresh and fruity at the same time. They rush out the door before checkout even arrives and the hurry is all Castiel because he really just wanted to be in public, away from any temptation.</p><p>That's the thing though, he couldn't understand what the temptation was all about because he did not want to have sex with this boy. Of course not, that possibility isn't on his radar. Maybe a kiss or two, or a billion is what he really wants but it's too much to ask, too much to think about. Being in the public eye is his best bet, the safest option for them both.</p><p>It's a short car ride to get some breakfast to go and they end up at the park that's around the corner from their house. It's ridiculous running around like this, pretending like they have nowhere to go. Going back home is an option and it's what needs to happen because he could go to prison for kidnapping his boyfriends kid without a word as to where they hell they went or when they would return.</p><p>The two are sat at a picnic table and are enjoying their breakfast sandwiches in silence. It was silent this early in the morning with no one around but maybe two kids playing with their parents. There was a boy and a little girl and Dean's eyes were on the little boy who was getting pushed on the swings. A look close to yearning was on his face as if desperate for a father in his life, one who didn't <em>hurt </em>him.</p><p>It was chilly and breezy today but the sun shining brightly in the sky made it bearable. It dawns on them that in their haste to get the hell outta dodge that they didn't have a chance to grab Dean's jacket and he suddenly feels like the biggest asshole on the planet for only noticing that the eleven year old was in a simple long sleeved shirt. </p><p>Castiel shrugs out of his jacket and wraps the jacket around the boys small frame, "Here-" they share a soft smile between them two. Dean shivers and quickly slips it on, zipping it up all the way and putting the hood over his head. "Cute-" he chuckles, clearly the jacket was too big for him. They look over to the boy playing on the swings, "Want me to push you?"</p><p>"No, it's okay-" is all he says before running away from the table to go play by himself on the swings.</p><p>Castiel could see that Dean had started crying and just wanted to be left alone for a while so he lets him be. He keeps a close eye on the boy while he sits and drinks his coffee in peace. It was peaceful aside from the fact that his phone kept buzzing non stop in his pants. He'd checked his phone earlier and must have had over fifty missed calls from John and rightfully so, he did sort of kidnap his son.</p><p>Castiel tosses his empty coffee cup into the trash and sits down again to watch Dean from afar. They must have been at the park for almost two hours before Dean runs up to him with something hiding behind his back. "What have you got back there?" his tone is playful, "Come on, show me-" then tickles the boy to get him to give in.</p><p>Dean squeals prettily and laughs before showing him what was hidden behind his back which turned out to be a heart shaped leaf. His cheeks are flushed from the laughter and the cold, but maybe some of it was from blushing. </p><p>"Aww, Dean-" his insides instantly melt into a puddle of mush. "It's pretty-" he then takes the leaf from the boys small hand to admire it up close. When their eyes meet, "Don't ever change, okay?"</p><p>The boy nods quickly, kicking his foot lightly on the ground before asking to go <em>home </em>because he really wanted to play video games. Castiel nods and suddenly pulls the boy close to him by the collar of his own jacket to kiss his flushed face gently. "Muahh-" the sound of lips on skin is soft but audible enough for them both to hear.</p><p>Once again, they hold hands on the short walk back to the car before going on the dreaded drive home. They arrive to the house sooner than Castiel had wanted because going back to John isn't something pleasurable.</p><p>It's not about money or the guys past, or the fact that his boyfriend is a drunk- it's the fact that he's just not a good man. Castiel often daydreams about it, what if John had been just a <em>good </em>man? He likes to believe he may have popped the question himself by now, found a way to make them <em>legal </em>somehow. </p><p>Both Dean and Castiel sat in the car parked next to the Impala for a few moments, exchanging worried glances between then until finally heading inside. Surprisingly the home was intact and clean, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary.</p><p>The mechanic must have heard the front door creak open, regardless of how quiet they tried to be because he peeks out of the kitchen with a coffee cup in hand. "Where ya two been?" at least he wasn't pissed like he had been yesterday. "Been callin' you for hours-" his eyes are fixed on the younger man.</p><p>Castiel knows that this man is capable of some pretty serious mood swings and as if on instinct, pushes the boy behind him protectively. "You were upset-" and that's putting it mildly. "I thought it was best to take him to a motel with me for the night-" there's a pause. "Given what happened last time, I didn't want the cops involved."</p><p>"Not gonna do nothin' to ya-" that's when Castiel and Dean both realize that they had been taking little steps backwards in fear. "Your stupid nurse friend came by twice today-" the man turns around heard to the bedroom but continues talking from there, "Probably thinks I killed you both and buried your bodies in the yard-"</p><p>That wasn't funny, not by a long shot and they share a look between them before Dean goes to his room as he was told. The door shuts behind him, clicking audibly in the silent home. Castiel didn't want to follow John to the bedroom but his phone charger was in there and so was a change of clothes so he marched down the hall, to the bedroom.</p><p>The door was wide open so he just strolls right in and mumbles, "I'm gonna call Meg right now-" he's fumbling in his side of the nightstand for the charger to plug his phone in but the mechanic seems to have other plans. "What are you-" there's hands all over him now, rubbing deliciously and groping roughly just the way he likes.</p><p>The closeness spooks him at first, thinking that it's going to be a repeat of what just happened less than a month ago. John mutters in his ear, telling him that he's horny and that he missed him last night. Castiel moans weakly, eyes barely open because now he was horny too. The man pushes him on the bed and yanks his scrubs to his knees before pulling them completely off his body.</p><p>Next John strips himself off of his own clothing which hadn't been much, just a pair of boxers and a white under shirt. The man almost had rock hard abs, regardless of almost pushing fifty and it turned Castiel on so much. His hand runs up and down his hairy body, feeling the firmness under his fingertips made him groan with lust. </p><p>The two of them are kissing and it's hot and heavy until John says, "Get on top-" the heat seems to sizzle out a little bit on the doctors end. "You look fine, relax-" and it's stupid that he'd even be self conscious about such a thing. </p><p>Castiel hesitates before climbing over the older man and feeling so vulnerable with those brown eyes just staring up at him. John seems to be able to read the insecurity on his face and reassures him by biting his lip in arousal, his hands reaching to knead the younger mans ass.</p><p>It's not long at all before Castiel lets himself go and John is lubed up for once. He feels the breech, Johns cock was pushing in and spreading him apart painfully. The room is filled with soft groans of pleasure and discomfort until white hot flashes behind Castiel's closed eyes. It's bearable the first time it accidentally happens but when it keeps happening, the stimulation to his prostate has him whimpering with pleasure.</p><p>"Fuck-" the mechanic groans, his hands were holding the doctors cheeks open to slide in and out of him easily.</p><p>When Castiel begins softly crying out of desperation to come that's when John wraps his arms around him and leans all the way back. His hips do all the work, punching forward to get them both to climax and it happens fast. When they both get there, it's with Johns cock buried balls deep into Castiel's ass. The waves of the orgasm last a little longer than normal for some reason and they continue thrusting lazily against each others bodies.</p><p>Once he can move, Castiel rolls off the older man and lays down on the other side of the bed, panting. It takes a while for the starts in his vision to go away but when they do, his eyes fixate on the man next to him who was so close that their shoulders were touching.</p><p>John's reaches over into the nightstand for his almost empty pack of cigarettes and a lighter, "Here-" he places one between his lips and lights it before placing one between the doctors lips too and lighting it. "Inhale slowly-" he orders, already knowing the guy doesn't smoke.</p><p>Castiel inhales and exhales slowly, eyes fixed on the older man by his side. John's eyes examine him and his thumb brushes against his kiss swollen bottom him. It's what comes next that surprises him. </p><p>"You're kinda cute-" he takes a long drag of his cigarette before saying,"I want you to shave next time-" then exhales the menthol scented smoke into the brightly lit room. There's a moment of awkwardness, "I just want to feel you better-" and that was a lie.</p><p>The reality of his request was that he really just wanted to feel like he was fucking someone much younger. Someone young like <em>Dean. </em>Castiel seems to be God sent because he nodded in agreement without too much of a fuss, regardless how he felt about shaving his entire body.</p><p>Castiel finishes off his cigarette before getting up to get dressed in a pair of sweatpants and remains shirtless. "So, dinner?" he asks, not meeting the mechanics eyes right then. </p><p>John sniffles, "Yea-" before lighting another cigarette. </p><p>Castiel closes the door behind him on his way out of the bedroom, making dinner was just his way of getting out of there sooner rather than later. It was still daytime, that's what he realizes when he pads down the hallway barefoot in search of Dean only to find him riding his bike up and down the street.</p><p>He opens the front door, "Dinner time!" he calls out to him. "Hey!" </p><p>Dean seems to either not have heard him call or is ignoring him, that's a first and it bothers him greatly. Castiel closes the door and begins on dinner which would be a couple of plain hamburgers because cooking a nice meal wasn't in him tonight. Once the burgers are ready, he takes one on a paper plate to the bedroom for John because he seems to like to eat anywhere but the kitchen table.</p><p>So that leaves him eating in the kitchen all by himself until Dean comes inside after dark and looking all sweaty from the bike ride. He sits at the table without saying a word and bites into the almost cooled off burger before whimpering at how good it was, even if there was nothing on it but a beef patty. </p><p>The silence is broken by Castiel saying, "Me and your dad are fine by the way-" they share a shy smile. "We're not fighting, so there's nothing to worry about-" </p><p>That makes the boy smile before they begin chatting about other things while they eat, like Sam and how they met when they were really little. The way he talks so passionately about Sam -or <em>Sammy </em>as Dean calls him- makes his heart melt because it's so adorable. It's times like these where he regrets not having kids or <em>more </em>kids, but his blooming feelings for this boy births an idea.</p><p>Castiel could adopt Dean and he wouldn't even really have to marry his father, not legally anyway. If they make it to one year together, they'd be in a common law marriage. It's not ideal but staying has it's benefits, all it would take is one year and if things got really bad after that he could leave and take Dean with him and John wouldn't be able to fight him on it. </p><p>All he would have to do is <em>tell </em>on him, about just how much of a drunk he is and that he's abused drugs in the same house as a minor. There's no way anyone would choose to let Dean live with John over him, no way. Somehow this new idea seems to comfort him and it has him smiling at the boy while listening to all the silly things he's got to say about his best friend <em>Sammy.</em></p><p>Late that same night Dean is crying out <em>Daddy! </em></p><p>It's unclear how long he'd been calling out for his father but eventually it startles Castiel awake who then rushes over to the bedroom. "Dean-" he flips the light on to see the boy in bed with wide eyes, "What's going on?" but the boy doesn't respond, only shows him his hand from afar. "What's on-" it hits him, "Oh-" so he sits down on the edge of the bed with a sigh. </p><p>Dean's staring at his hand, "Snot came out of it-" then peeks under his covers. "It's all over-" and his eyelashes are wet with tears.</p><p>Castiel smiles warmly to provide comfort, "It happens-" they make eye contact. "I went through this too, it's called a wet dream-" the look he's given forces him to elaborate, even if he really doesn't want to or shouldn't. "It's uhm-" exhales shakily because <em>hello</em>, touchy subject. "It happens when you have a dream about something <em>nice</em>-" </p><p>Dean's nose scrunches up, "Nice?" there's a moment of contemplation. "I was dreaming of <em>you-" </em></p><p>That almost knocks the wind out of him and he has got to look away because this was beyond uncomfortable. Just hours ago he was plotting to adopt this boy in order to protect him, now he learns that his son to be is having wet dreams about <em>him.</em> Well, wet dream because there's only been the one and if he was sick like <em>that, </em>he might have enjoyed to hear this.</p><p>Castiel smiles awkwardly because he's the grown up here and his job is to make the eleven year old feel better about puberty being around the corner. It's not until he's helped Dean change into something clean that he mentions one of his own coming of age secrets. Maybe he shouldn't be saying these things because it really was Johns responsibility to give him the <em>talk.</em></p><p>"I had all kinds of wet dreams-" there's a shy laugh shared between the two as he tucks in the boy under the covers. "I even had one about my teacher-"</p><p>Dean whispers loudly, "Your teacher?!" then covers his mouth before laughing into his hands. Once he's calmed down he mumbles, "Yuck-" then a smile forms on his cute lips. "My teachers are ugly-"</p><p>Castiel slaps him on the arm playfully, "Don't be rude-" and tries not to laugh at the bluntness.</p><p>They share an odd look that lasts a little too long, like something should happen. But <em>what? </em>Even though those green eyes were pretty, Castiel sure wishes they wouldn't stare into his soul in <em>that </em>way. What does it even <em>mean? </em>It lasted long enough so he clears his throat loudly to break whatever spell the boy is trying to put him under and he leaves the room, after saying goodnight of course.</p><p>The following day when Castiel comes home from work it's to find Dean playing outside by himself with no John Winchester in sight. It's not smart to leave an eleven year old boy playing in the front yard late into the day but what could you expect from a father who rather spend his time drinking instead of watching his son.</p><p>The thought of being in the house alone with Dean is a little unsettling so he suggests a movie and he agrees after some convincing. Castiel just had a bad feeling in his gut which could have been the large coffee he had today but it wasn't, there was something else brewing in there. A desire to hold this boy was the dominant thought today, so were thoughts of maybe kissing him on the cheek or on the <em>lips.</em></p><p>They're standing close to each other in the line for their snacks when Dean mentions wanting some gummy candy and Castiel can't say no to him.  After they've gotten their snacks and sodas, they go find some empty seats near the top rows. The movie soon begins  and the lights on the ceiling begin to dim, leaving the theatre almost in complete darkness.</p><p>As the movie plays Castiel pays more attention to the boy next to him rather than what's on the screen because nothing could be more entertaining for him. It's as if Dean having a <em>nice </em>dream about him opens new doors, <em>Forbidden </em>doors.</p><p>The movie playing in front of them was a horror one and perhaps it wasn't the smartest idea to drag an eleven year old boy to this type of flick. Dean's all gasps and whimpers throughout the two hours that they are there and they excite him for some reason. It didn't take long enough for he's on Castiel's lap and nuzzling into his neck for comfort.</p><p>Castiel wraps an arm around him and whispers soothing words into the boys ear like <em>shhh, it's okay </em>all the while his hand roams freely up and down his back. It's purely for comfort, he tells himself but feeling Dean's warm breath on his neck has him sporting an erection. </p><p>When the movie is over, that erection had gone down and everything was right in the world once again. Dean expresses his dislike for the movie by pouting the whole walk to the car and it earned him a well deserved happy meal for sitting through some pretty scary stuff. Though after how Dean sat on his lap and clung to him so tightly, Castiel was pretty sure he would've bought him more than just a handful of chicken nuggets and a milkshake.</p><p>They go to the park to eat less than comfortably in the car, while listening to some soft Christian Rock on the radio. Dean finishes first and he's just staring at him and he shifts uncomfortably on the leather because he's hard as a pipe again. The boy was all too seductive without even knowing it as he sucked on the straw of his milkshake and gulping it down loudly as if he were extremely parched.</p><p>"Fuck-" he curses under his breath because it's too much to take in.</p><p>"Oooo you said a bad word-" the boy says in an accusatory tone. </p><p>Castiel huffs a laugh, "Yeah-" but seeing Dean chew on the end of his straw the way he was has him thinking all kinds of ideas that now have to be forced out of his mind.</p><p>When the boy sets his drink down in the cup holder, he witnesses the thin string of saliva that glues those pretty lips to the straw until it breaks and is forced to look away. All he wants to do is kiss him but he won't- because it's wrong, it's sick- and he's got no idea why he's developing feelings for the kid. Especially <em>romantic</em> feelings.</p><p>The desire is too great and a quick glance around the parking lot to see that they are in fact <em>very </em>alone at the moment has him asking, "Do you mind if I kiss you?" the boys eyebrows knit together, not understanding. "Can I kiss your cheek?" he clarifies and the boy agrees to it, most likely because his mom used to kiss him there.</p><p>Only after getting consent does Castiel lean over and places the softest kiss on that flushed pink cheek, "Muah-" then another and another. When he pulls away, that's when he sees just how many freckles this boy has on his beautiful face. Literally, they were <em>everywhere- </em>on his cheeks, nose and even some on his neck. </p><p>Dean giggles softly because it tickled and his stomach felt all funny, not knowing there were about a dozen butterflies in there. His green eyes are locked on his own for a while, innocently and he goes in for more cheek kisses and the boy giggles every single time. When a kiss gets planted on the corner of his mouth by accident because Castiel had gotten carried away, that's when he sucks in a sharp breath.</p><p>Those eyes were blinking rapidly in shock or disbelief, maybe both. They don't move or say anything for a few seconds that end up feeling like minutes in this crucial moment in time. Castiel leans in and kisses the corner of his mouth again, actually feeling those thick long lashes fluttering against his own face. It feels like a huge mistake, like he might be taking advantage of the boy until he <em>whimpers. </em></p><p>Castiel reaches up to cup Dean's face tenderly in both hands, "It's okay-" his words are so soft. "You're just so cute, I wanted to kiss you-"</p><p>Dean is looking up at him beautifully and accidentally hiccups, breaking the spell the older man found himself under. The broken spell lastly only a moment before moving in again to kiss his face but he seems to be over the whole thing and reaches for his quickly melting milkshake in the cup holder.</p><p>Castiel backs off but his eyes fixate on the boys pale pink and plush lips around the straw. Eventually he asks, "Do you wanna kiss me?" and again the boys confused so he clarifies by pointing to his cheek with his index finger. It's like he's a dog with a bone and he knows it but he wants to get as far as he can without committing a terrible crime here.</p><p>Dean takes a final sip of the sugary drink before setting it back in the cup holder and once again, Castiel tries not to groan at the sight of the string of saliva that broke between his lips and the straw. The boy gets up on the seat and leans over, planting a firm kiss on his cheek. </p><p>"One more-" he pushes his luck and the boy kisses his cheek once more. "How about here?" now points to the corner of his mouth. As soon as those sticky sweet lips press against the corner of his mouth, he bites his lip to keep himself from moaning. "I like that-" his voice is suddenly raspy with arousal.</p><p>Dean kisses his chin next because he closes his eyes and misses the corner of his mouth, so he corrects himself and plants another kiss where he meant to. "Keep going-" he orders gently and the boy obeys.</p><p>His hand wanders from where it had been resting on his thigh, up to the boys back- gripping the back of his shirt. Dean seems to have gotten spooked by that because he stops kissing and sits back down on his seat with his small hands tucked between his thighs as if trying to keep them warm.</p><p>"Can we go home-" he asks softly.</p><p>Castiel swallows dryly, "Yes, of course-" </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Fire & Ice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After a stressful day at the hospital the doctor finds himself sitting at the club with a beer in his hand. When his glass is empty almost an hour later, it becomes crystal clear that he may not get to see his favorite dancer tonight. It really was a damn shame about Alex, all he wanted was some cute eye candy before going home to whatever hell awaits him.</p><p>Castiel is almost out the door when that familiar voice says <em>leaving so soon? </em></p><p>They haven't had sex yet but things between them were getting hotter and heavier the more often they saw each other. It was like fireworks going off every time they touched, even with Castiel's clothing being the only barrier keeping them from going all the way.</p><p>As soon as those curtains close behind them, they're kissing so passionately like they were on some damn telenovela or something. It's all tongue and spit, it should be gross to make out like this but it really wasn't. The dancer was returning the mans kiss like he wanted him just as bad, it really was no secret that the doctor desired to have sex with him. </p><p>Hell, the whole club knew Castiel came here just for Alex.</p><p>"Can't get enough of you-" he whispers breathlessly when they part. "I want you-"</p><p>"I want you too-" replies the dancer before letting his hand grope the mans bulge for the first time. "You're so big-" </p><p>Sex wasn't the end game, it never was in this room because all they ever do in here was hump each other to climax. Well, Castiel's climax that is. Yet something felt so different about tonight, like they both knew that their usual routine wouldn't satisfy either of them this time. They both wanted more and it was going to happen, it was going to happen right <em>now.</em></p><p>With his pants down around his ankles as he sits on the couch and Alex fully nude on top of him, there's no going back. The dancer places a condom on him, where it came from? Who the hell knows, it just appeared from somewhere unknown. </p><p>Castiel feels like he might be high or like he'd been slipped something in that beer he drank. Everything is moving slowly, almost sensually and yet the music playing just outside their private room going just as fast as ever. That damn neon pink lighting in here wasn't doing him any favors, it has him tripping tonight like he's in some kind of dream world.</p><p>"Ale-" he tries to speak but the dancers tongue is shoved into his mouth. "Mmm-"</p><p>It's unclear if they are actually having sex because he can't feel much of anything but he hears himself moaning from far away. They're both moaning and groaning, grabbing and scratching at each other like feral animals. Castiel's pretty sure he hasn't had sex like this before, sure some rough play but nothing like this. This was like two animals trying to get off for the sake of it.</p><p>Castiel feels something happening inside of him and he's pretty sure that he's about to throw up. "Hold on-" the weak plea escapes him suddenly but Alex won't stop riding him deliciously. Soon he's coming, coming so hard that choked sobs are being punched out of him just from the pleasure.</p><p>That strange sick feeling that came over him is gone just about as fast as it came and now he's simply feeling spent and exhausted. "I gotta go-" the words are rushed because he just needs to get the fuck out of there and go somewhere that feels <em>real. </em> Maybe somewhere that doesn't have pink fucking lighting that makes him feel like he's done acid.</p><p>Alex holds onto him, "Please don't go-" </p><p>Castiel blinks rapidly and swallows dryly, it's so fucking hard to focus in this environment. "I have a <em>family</em> to get back to-" he pulls out his wallet and takes out a extra few bills that he always keeps hidden away just in case. "I gotta go-" he repeats, mostly to himself because he's feeling so smothered all of a sudden.</p><p>They make eye contact and Alex tears up because he's developing some serious feelings for this man. "Please stay with me, just a few more minutes-"</p><p>Castiel is growing impatient since there's a certain someone at home waiting for his arrival, "I <em>can't-</em>" and isn't even trying to hide the annoyance in his voice because there's bigger problems to worry about like his boyfriend beating the shit out of him again over this very same thing. Except now, he's fucked the dancer he said he wouldn't and his world is crashing down around him.</p><p>Only because the dancer on his lap is pretty and sort of looks like Dean, his resolve softens and he's pulling him in for a hug. "Sorry-" his fingers card through the sweaty hair. "I'm going to come see you again, I promise-" </p><p>Alex is given a final few kisses before the man he was falling for leaves the room and possibly for good. The two never exchanged numbers and it's idiotic really, he let himself believe that this man would save him and take him far away from the club life. It was stupid, so fucking stupid and he vows to never hook up with a customer ever again. </p><p>Castiel drives home in no rush at all because he doesn't exactly want to go back there and only doing so because of <em>Dean. </em>After polishing off the burger he picked up on the way, he's back at the house and letting himself in through the front door.</p><p>Once inside the home he heads straight for the bedroom a little too aware that it's almost midnight. In the middle of peeling off his disgusting scrubs, the mechanic shuts the television off before asking him where the hell he'd been tonight.</p><p>Castiel shrugs in response and pulls on a fresh pair of sweatpants up to hipbones. Surprisingly, it appears that he's losing some weight from all the stress that he's been under or maybe it's the fact that he can't exactly jump into lifting weights after the hell his body was put through not too long ago. </p><p>John keeps pushing the subject and eventually he says he's just had a long day with back to back surgeries, that kind of thing to get himself out of any impending trouble.</p><p>They're now under the covers and ready to sleep when there's a large hand reaching for his crotch that is slapped away almost instantly. "I'm too tired to do anything-" he hauls himself up from the bed because his stomach won't stop growling. "Can't sleep, I'm hungry-" the mechanic mumbles something he doesn't quite catch but it's not like it mattered to him anyway.</p><p>It's not until he's on his way back to his bedroom with a bag of chips and a can of soda that he notices sweet little Dean Winchester. The boy was fast asleep with his beloved spider man plush doll in his grasp, the view tugs on his heart strings a little too hard right then.</p><p>Only then does Castiel realizes that he might just want him in ever single way imaginable even if it was wrong. Still, there's nothing that can be done about this sick and twisted desire, it might just have to go to the grave with him.</p><p>The next morning Castiel finds himself alone in bed once again and he didn't mind one bit, it allowed him another few extra hours of sleep. Though he must have slept in way passed noon because for the first time ever, Dean is shaking him awake and when his eyes open it's to see the harsh afternoon light peeking in through the open blinds in the bedroom. </p><p>"Hmm?" he hums in response, closing his eyes once more.</p><p>"Castiel, I'm hungry-" </p><p>Castiel looks over at the digital clock on the nightstand, "I'm sorry-" and slowly sits up. "Guess It's later than I thought-" the terrible mistake of looking directly into those green eyes is made and he quickly has has to look away for pure fear of getting himself sucked right into them.</p><p>It's probably time to tell the boy that it's not polite to stare so intensely into someones soul like that. But not now, he's already too guilty for sleeping in way too long and forgetting to feed him.</p><p>The silence while they eat their first meal of the day is too much so he says, "How about we go get a tree after lunch? It's almost Christmas-" and looking outside the window to see that it had snowed last night just keeps adding to his guilt because he'd forgotten about the approaching holiday completely.</p><p>Dean get's excited to go get a tree but is forced to put on a jacket and some mittens before they head out in search of one, which earned Castiel a couple of nasty glares because aren't mittens for <em>girls?  </em></p><p>They're walking in the snow towards the car when he decides to push the older man down and get his payback for being forced to wear such ugly mittens, not to mention the ugly hat. Castiel slowly picks himself up and isn't upset with the boy at all because boys will be boys, <em>right? </em></p><p>"That wasn't nice-" he pretends to be mad though, hands on his hips like an upset parent just to make him feel like he really got his revenge.</p><p>After a mini snowball fight in the front yard, they're off to find a tree and luckily had little to no trouble finding one at a lot just outside of town. Dean chose one that wasn't too big or two small, just right for his family of three. Castiel couldn't help but enjoy the day with him, seeing those puffy blushed cheeks throughout the day, not to mention having him all to himself was great.</p><p>By the time they had unloaded the tree from the top of the car, some hot chocolate was well deserved. Though Dean got teary eyed after a while because his father didn't go tree hunting with them and Castiel gave him a kiss on the cheek in exchange for a cute smile. </p><p>After there's no more risk of tears Castiel puts a pot on the stove with some milk for the hot chocolate. Once they sit down on the couch with their mugs, the power goes out and the boy says <em>uh oh.. </em></p><p>The home was completely dark now with no chance of the power coming on any time soon because of the snowstorm that was supposed to roll in tonight. The sudden turn of events has Castiel fumbling in the darkness for some blankets in his bedroom closet after they had finished off their drinks.</p><p>Clearly he must have taken too long because Dean comes looking for him, Castiel turns around, "Dean?" he's got a lit candle in hand which he sets on the dresser. "I was coming back-" </p><p>"I got scared-" he whimpers before crawling into the bed to hide under the covers.</p><p>Castiel hesitates but gets into the bed anyway, pulling the boys small body close to him for warmth. "It's just a snowstorm-" the wind howls loudly just outside, branches hit the window lightly.</p><p>That night they fall asleep together in bed and snuggled for warmth and comfort. Castiel does his best to keep him calm throughout the night when the boy wakes up crying because he's scared of the storm or because his dad isn't home yet, every time he's reassured that everything is okay. Dean must believe him because he always snuggles in closer and goes back to sleep.</p><p>A few days later after they finished their Christmas tree, Dean and Castiel are on the couch in the living room. The two of them are simply enjoying how pretty the tree turned out when the door slams shut and they straighten up as if they had been doing something they shouldn't have.</p><p>"Nice tree-" the mechanic huffs as he makes his way down the hallway to the bedroom.</p><p>Later that night after Castiel has tucked Dean into bed, that's when he joins his boyfriend in the bedroom without knowing what kind of mood he would be in. Things had been weird and strained because they weren't having sex lately or fighting, they barely even spoke. The mechanic isn't in the room when he goes in but the shower is on in the bathroom so he lays in bed to wait for him so they can <em>talk.</em></p><p>He must have dozed off because when he opens his eyes again, the man is standing by the dresser and towel drying his hair. Sometimes Castiel really hated the guy but couldn't deny how drop dead handsome he was, "You want to-" the words slip out suddenly and his boyfriend looks over his shoulder as if annoyed by the question. "I shaved for you-" now he's pulling off his shirt to reveal his bare chest.  </p><p>John smiles, "Cute-" and he's climbing onto bed, over the doctors younger body. "What about down here-" he's asking softly, his large hands pulling down his pajamas to reveal silky skin. "You're so fuckin' pretty like this-" </p><p>Castiel knows John likes it because in no time his legs are spread apart and he's being bent in half. The stretch burns but it's a good kind of burn and they fuck for so long until both of them have come twice and until Castiel is left with his asshole twitching. Yes, he shaved there too and the mechanic went insane over it- telling him it was the prettiest thing he's seen in a while.</p><p>On Christmas day Dean awakens completely naked because his father paid him a little late night visit. The boy reaches into his drawers for one of his fathers old Led Zepplin shirts that he wears to sleep every night before going to the living room to watch cartoons. A quick peek into the driveway lets him know that his father has indeed left for work and that Castiel was home, most likely still sleeping.</p><p>It maybe took another hour before the man comes padding down the hallway barefoot and smiles sleepily at him. "Morning-" his voice is extremely gravely. "Merry Christmas-"</p><p>Dean perks up a little on the couch now that the holiday is mentioned, "Merry Christmas-"</p><p>Of course the man notices the boys attire of an over sized shirt and socks, nothing sinister comes to mind and simply things he looks adorable. Castiel sits down on the couch with a cup of coffee while Dean looks through his gifts and begins opening them one by one. It was obvious that he was shy about it because he was tearing the wrapping paper off his presents ever so kindly.</p><p>The shyness vanishes when he sees what his first gift had been which was a large remote controlled bat mobile that he will surely keep for years to come. "Awesome!" he yells. His next gift turned out to be some really cool sneakers, the kind that every boy his age had in school except for him. "These are cool!" he yells again, practically hugging the pair of shoes to his chest. </p><p>After all his presents are unwrapped Dean hugs the older man because this was the best Christmas ever and hopes that the guy isn't going anywhere. This year tops any other, it's like Christmas and Birthdays all in one when Castiel is involved and he wants it every single year.</p><p>It wasn't until Dean looks up to the man that he realizes, "There's no presents for you-" </p><p>"Guess Santa forgot about me, maybe I should call him about it-" he chuckles and the boy simply glares at him. "You know Santa isn't real, don't you?" </p><p>Dean nods, "Dad told me he was pretend a long time ago-" </p><p>Castiel shakes his head in disbelief because his father ruined Santa for the kid too early on. A sudden idea hits him, "How about a kiss for Christmas?" and hopes the boy will agree to give him a little smooch as his gift. "Cause you know, kisses are free after all-" </p><p>Dean scrambled to get up from the floor and Castiel happens to notice that he hadn't been wearing anything underneath the very large shirt. The shirt rode up his thighs just for a moment but it was long enough for him to catch a glimpse of <em>flesh </em>and not much else. It was all a blur and he wasn't exactly sure what he'd actually seen under there but perhaps that's for the best.</p><p>Castiel gulps as the boy presses a soft, barely there kiss on his unshaven cheek. Dean looks up at him in wonder and decides to press another kiss to his cheek, he's going in for a third when Castiel holds him back by the shoulders in order to stop him from doing so. Two was gracious, three would send him to oblivion because he'd probably take something the boy isn't ready to give him yet.</p><p>Castiel feels hot and flushed, "Thank you, Dean." </p><p>Dean scratches his nose, "You're welcome-" eyes looking over to the mess under the tree, "Did you get something for dad?"</p><p>Castiel resists the urge to snort and says, "Yeah-" because he did buy something for John. It's just a shame he couldn't buy the jerk a whole new personality, regardless of the price tag.</p><p>Dean's playing with the hem of his shirt so it rides up a little more, exposing more thigh flesh. "What did you get him?" his pale green eyes stare into the depths of the older mans soul, not that he knew he was even doing it.</p><p>Castiel blinks, ignoring the exposed thigh flesh. "A new leather jacket, but you have to promise not to ruin the surprise-"</p><p>Dean smiles sweetly, "I promise-" and holds up his pinky and they both promise on it.</p><p>Castiel's eyes flicker down to the boys lips for a quick second before looking into his eyes again. "So, breakfast?" </p><p>Dean shuffles into the kitchen right then and yells, "I want waffles!" </p><p>Castiel makes breakfast while listening to the boy telling him the same jokes he's heard from his friend Sam at school. They aren't exactly all that funny but anything coming from his mouth makes him smile and laugh, mostly because of how cute he is. Once they're eating at the table, he can't help but look at the boys mouth chewing away on his breakfast.</p><p>Castiel licks his lips and ignores his own food, focusing more on his coffee and the boy sitting in front of him. As soon as Dean's finished with his food, he hopes off the chair and shuffles to the living room for some more cartoon watching.</p><p>Castiel can't help but notice that the shirt had ridden up again due to how he was sitting and those plus thighs are exposed even more. Against his better judgement, he goes to sit next to the boy. It's not long before he's got an arm wrapped around the back of the couch and leaning into the boys direction, eyes just focused on him. It's too tempting and his arm moves to rest around the boys shoulder.</p><p>Dean looks up at him for two second before refocusing on the flickering screen. A large hand is squeezing his shoulder, he doesn't seem to notice it or just doesn't care. Though when the mans hand rests heavily on his thigh, he looks up at him again.</p><p>Castiel sucks in a breath and lets his hand rub up and down lightly, carefully. "You're so soft-" </p><p>The boy says nothing because this was a new compliment, after all he's only used to women at grocery stores stopping his father in the middle of shopping trips to tell him how cute his son is. Being called cute, adorable or precious- all that he's used to, but being told that he's <em>soft? </em>No one has ever said that to him.</p><p>Suddenly Dean blurts out, "I have to pee-" and waddles down the hallway but not before pulling up the large shirt up completely before he's even made it to the bathroom. Him doing that allowed the man to see his bare little ass walk away adorably.</p><p>Castiel exhales harshly and blinks because <em>what the fuck? </em>It's obvious Dean doesn't know that exposing himself in that way is wrong, or does he know? Maybe not, John doesn't talk to him about the things he should know about.</p><p>It's been all day with no sign of John Winchester which is how Dean ends up watching a movie on the bed with Castiel. He's leaving chip crumbs all over the sheets but it doesn't get him in trouble because Castiel is cool like that and lets things slide. According to John though, his son wasn't to be allowed on their bed for obvious <em>reasons. </em>It's where they fuck and his son has no business being there in the first place.</p><p>Clearly tonight all caution had been thrown to the wind and here they were, having a movie night on his bed. It doesn't matter, if he came home to find them there he would just cover for them both. If that didn't work, he would take all the blame.</p><p>They're halfway through a movie that Dean probably is way too young for when his cell rings, "Hello-" he answers the call without looking at who it was. It was John, letting him know that he won't be home until much later because of some kind of emergency at the shop. Of course it's a damn lie and his best guess is that the mechanic is enjoying himself a little too much at the bar. "Sure-yes, I fed Dean. Bye-" </p><p>"Dads coming?"</p><p>The boy was sitting Indian style on the bedspread with chip dust all over his lips and finger tips. It was beyond clear that Dean Winchester really loved his chips. </p><p>Castiel licks his own fingers clean now that he's done eating, "He'll be back later-" the boy asks where his dad is. "Fixing a car-" he lies. They're are almost at the end of the movie when Dean lays back on the bed to get comfortable, those kissable legs catch his eye. "When are you going to bed?" this boy needs to get out of here asap, before he's tempted to kiss him all over.</p><p>Dean looks up at him, "Are you mad that I'm here-" his voice is soft and he takes the imaginary implied cue to dust the bedspread of all the crumbs he'd made while eating.</p><p>"No, of course not-" Castiel smiles, pulling him into a loose embrace without thinking. "I could never be mad at someone as cute as you-" then he's tickling the boy, who is now giggling and kicking around hysterically. The boys laugh must be the most beautiful sound he's ever heard, until he squeals- a new bar is set and he stops tickling instantly, leaving Dean breathless, still giggling softly on the bed.</p><p>Dean says, "I hate tickles-" even though he's still laughing and his face is completely pink. Once he's recovered, he begins to tickle the older man who just stares at him- clearly tickles don't have the same effect on him. Instead, it turns him on but he wouldn't dare to do anything about it. </p><p>Half way through movie number two Dean mentions, "My head feels hot-" and looks really sad about it.</p><p>Castiel quickly feels his forehead with the back of his hand, "You're a little warm-" his eyes examine the boys face carefully.</p><p>Dean sighs, leaning into him and wrapping his arms around his body. "Can I sleep with you-" his chin rests on his abdomen.</p><p>Even though he's only asking because he's not feeling the greatest, Castiel agrees and wraps his arms around the boy. He must have fallen asleep for a while because John's shaking him awake and instantly he's afraid for Dean because he's in their bed.</p><p>John feels his sons forehead. "He sick?"</p><p>"Think so-" he moves carefully so as to not wake the boy and lifts him up into his arms like a newborn baby. "I'll go put him in his bed-" it's a damn shame, he really wanted to hold him all night long.</p><p>When Dean's tucked into bed, he goes back to his bedroom and quickly pulls out a medium sized box from under the bed. "Here-" he places the gift next to the mechanic who was now sitting in bed, flipping through the channels on the television. </p><p>John opens the box and pulls out the dark brown leather jacket, "Thanks-" the guy actually looked pleased with it. He stands to try on his new jacket and what do you know, it fit like a glove and made him look all the more charming.</p><p>Castiel simply watches him move around the room to put his new jacket away in the closet, "It looked nice on you-" and of course he's not expecting a gift in return. It's not like they talked about exchanging gifts or anything, yet he does receive one anyway. "John-" a smile spreads across his lips boyishly when he's handed a small gift. "You didn't have to-"</p><p>Castiel opens the tiny box to reveal a small cross on a silver chain, it's strange to him that his boyfriend was actually listening when he told him that he was Christian. The necklace was a little small, probably meant for a woman's delicate neck so it ends up in the nightstand. It does occur to him that his gift was probably stolen from a store but it didn't matter.</p><p>John quickly shuts off the light in the bedroom and even the bedside lamp, "How was Dean today?" he asks as he climbs into bed next to the younger man who was now doing the same as if taking his cue. "He behave himself?"</p><p>Castiel hesitates before answering, "Of course, Dean's always a good boy-" and the man looks at him with a curious look- one that he hasn't seen before.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Don't You Cry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel wakes up alone in bed as per usual but he was feeling a bit more frisky this particular morning. A quick glance at the empty space next to him has him reaching under the sheets to grip himself because finally there was privacy in order to get away with a little <em>me </em>time which was desperately needed.</p><p>His fingers loosely curl around his cock and he's stroking up and down until a few groans escape his parted lips. It feels too good, so good that he's almost whimpering in pleasure. Taking care of himself like this is very needed and rarely done because of how busy he is, the lack of alone time doesn't help the situation. Either he's at work or at home with John or worse, with <em>Dean.</em></p><p>Castiel knows the eleven year old boy is right across the hall so doing this is risky but it's not stopping him. In fact, it's egging him on. He wants to do this simply to get his urges out of the way once and for all before having to be in the presence of said green eyed boy.</p><p>Castiel lets out a soft rumble of pleasure from deep within his chest, "Mmmmmm-" but just as things are getting really good the door creaks open and he throws the covers over his exposed lap on instinct.</p><p>The look on Dean Winchesters sleepy face says it all, something was wrong with him and he melts into a pool of total mush. "Come here-" he opens his arms, "You okay?" his arms wrap around the boys small shoulders. "Did you have a nightmare last night?"</p><p>Dean shrugs and is silent for a moment before the water works start, his hands come up to rub at his eyes roughly like kids do when they cry.</p><p>"What's wrong-" his voice is full of concern and he's got an arm wrapped around the boy who is sitting on his lap. "Tell me what's wrong-" he unintentionally bounces the boy on his lap.</p><p>"My throat hurts-" the confession comes after a minute or two.</p><p>Castiel feels the boys forehead to see that it was indeed a little warm then tilts the boys chin up and asks him to open his mouth. Sure enough, his suspicion was correct. "Your tonsils are a little swollen-" he comments softly. "Come on, let's get you dressed and we'll get you checked out at the hospital-"</p><p>Dean leans against the older mans shoulder, hugging his arm possessively out of fear. "But I don't want to go-" his eyes are begging to stay home. "I want to watch cartoons today-"</p><p>Castiel smiles uncomfortably and it's not because he doesn't like having this boy so close, he just knows that he shouldn't be enjoying it at all. "I think this is why you've been getting sick with all these colds-" the boy sniffles and he holds onto him for a few more minutes, until he's managed to relax and warm up to the idea of a hospital trip.</p><p>First Castiel takes a shower and it's a cold one because of <em>reasons </em>before he comes into the bedroom to get dressed for work. The plan was to have Dean tag along to get him looked at and then bring him home during his lunch break or perhaps get out early because someone would need to watch over Dean throughout the day.</p><p>The first thing he sees when he enters the bedroom is the sleeping angel on the bed. "Dean-" he shakes him awake gently, it takes about a minute but eventually green eyes open to look up at him. "Heyy-" he coos lovingly because he couldn't help it. "Time to get going-"</p><p>Dean was already dressed in something comfortable but warm so they head out instantly and he sleeps the entire ride to the hospital. When they finally arrive, Castiel guides Dean into the large building and into an empty ER room.</p><p>He's instructed to stay put and does as he's told while Castiel disappears for almost half an hour. It was pretty scary to be all alone in a hospital room and it's the main reason why Dean was holding onto his Spiderman that his father says he's too old for as he waited for the man to come back to him. </p><p>Castiel comes back wearing his white coat with a smile on his face, "Alright-" his tone is cheerful as he gets things ready. "I'm gonna take some blood, okay?" he pulls up the rolling stool so he can sit in front of the boy. Dean watches him prepping the several tubes and a butterfly needle since because he didn't seem to have any visible veins. "Take a deep breath-" he orders before inserting the needle into the pale arm.</p><p>Dean whines softly, "Oww-" his eyes shut tightly, nose scrunching up until the needle is out. "They poke my finger at the doctors-" the statement is somewhat of a tame protest.</p><p>Castiel chuckles as he labels the tubes, "Guess you're a big boy now-" and gives him a wink. A nurse named Meg walks in quickly to grab the blood samples before he's on to his next task. "Open-" he instructs, taking a look inside the boys mouth with a special light. "Still swollen-" and sneakily swabs the back of his throat with a long cotton swab.</p><p>Dean gags, instantly covering his mouth with an angry look on his face because he was not expecting that to happen.</p><p>Castiel squeezes his knee briefly in comfort, "Sorry-" before turning around and placing the swab in a tube for testing. "I have to make sure it's really tonsillitis and not just a case of strep throat." after giving the same nurse the throat culture he finds that the boy is still mad at him for what he did. "I'm sorry, okay? I had to-" but he's not listening, so he gives him a few tickles and a kiss on the cheek until finally being forgiven.</p><p>Dean stays alone waiting for his results in the room for about an hour until Castiel comes back telling him that he's going to need surgery in order to have his tonsils removed. "No!" he screams in a way that hurts his ears. "I don't want to do it-"</p><p>"If you don't get this done, you'll keep getting sick-" his tone is soft and comforting, "I'll be holding your hand the whole time and you'll be asleep so you won't feel anything-"</p><p>Dean sniffles, "Really?"</p><p>Castiel smiles, "I promise you won't feel a thing. You'll get to have ice cream when you wake up, doesn't that sound nice?" the boy nods somberly. "I know you're scared but I'm not leaving your side-" a different nurse walks in and has him lay back in the hospital bed before she starts wheeling him down to surgery.</p><p>Castiel is following right beside them, "I'm still here-" he reassures because the boy started crying hysterically out of fear. "Spiderman too-" he holds up the stuffed doll in hopes of calming him down, it somewhat worked.</p><p>Dean is quickly wheeled into an operating room as if his life was in danger or something and his eyes are wide and frightened as he's stripped off his clothing and changed into a hospital gown. It all has him crying and whimpering like a baby until he sees Castiel walking in wearing a long blue gown and a matching hair net.</p><p>"How's my favorite boy?" he asks confidently with a smile before putting on a paper face mask and glasses. "Just relax, okay-" he mentions while injecting something into the IV line. </p><p>Green eyes follow the movement, "What's tha-" and his eyes close almost instantly</p><p>Castiel chuckles before giving orders to his team, "Out like a light-" and the surgery begins.</p><p>The surgery lasted quite a while but to Dean Winchester, the surgery lasted no longer than a simple eye blink. His eyes open and everything is blurry before he falls asleep again to wake up much later that night. When he awakens his throat is still sore and he's licking his dry lips in sleepy confusion, fear sets in because he's alone but fortunately not for long.</p><p>Castiel walks in with a chart and he's pleased to see that he's finally awake. "Hey-" he comes close to the bed, stroking the boys cheek with the back of his fingers for a few seconds. "Feeling okay?"</p><p>Dean shrugs because he really don't know, all he feels is sleepy. "I'm thirsty-" he swallows uncomfortably before opening his mouth, sticking his tongue out for a moment. "Am I bleeding-" everything he says feels funny at the moment, like his mouth is stuffed with cotton.</p><p>Castiel did manage to get a glimpse of his throat, "You're fine-" smiles. "How about some ice cream?" of course he had to mention the promised treat. </p><p>Unfortunately Dean fell asleep again before he could respond to the question and Castiel can't seem to help himself and ends up kissing the boys forehead before leaving the room.</p><p>The rest of his shift is uneventful and eventually calls John to give him an update on how well the surgery had gone. John had actually been worried when he let him know that his son would be needing surgery that day and promised to show up after he was done with work. Castiel didn't believe the man until he showed up, asking for him at every corner of the hospital. </p><p>"You actually came-" he's stunned when his eyes land on the dirty mechanic.</p><p>John rolls his eyes before being guided to the hospital room where his son was peacefully sleeping. "You sure he's fine?"</p><p>Castiel's prideful because he's good at his job and simply smiles in response, "He's been sleeping on and off all day so why don't we come back tomorrow to see him. The nurses will take good care of him throughout the night, he'll be fine-" </p><p>John hesitates because regardless of how crappy of a father he is he does love his son and is unwilling to leave him totally alone. Though after some convincing and seeing the exhaustion on his boyfriends face, he gives in and takes the doctor home for the night.</p><p>When they arrive at the hospital the following morning, they're both happy to see the boy sitting up in bed with food in front of him. He was eating cereal and having some orange juice, looking to be in good spirits too.</p><p>"Morning-" Castiel beams, "Got you these-" and pulls out a jumbo superhero coloring book with a big box of crayons he picked up on the gas station on the way.</p><p>Dean takes the coloring book and flips through the pages, "Thanks-" his gratitude is quiet but the smile on his face is more than enough. "I'll color later-" he sets it aside on the bedside table and refocuses on his cereal. "I never got ice cream-" his eyes peek up to meet blue through his eyelashes.</p><p>"I'll ask about that right now-" he looks at the mechanic who had taken a seat on the sofa for one in the corner of the room. "Do you want coffee?" the man nods dismissively and off he goes, to the cafeteria to fetch the Winchesters what they wanted.</p><p>When he's gone, John gets up and goes over to his son. "How you feelin'-" his large hand rubs the back of the boys neck playfully but it just looked plain weird. </p><p>Dean winces at the touch, "I'm okay dad-" and finishes his cereal even though the touch still bothers him. It didn't take long before Castiel returned with a small plastic cup of hospital ice cream which surely didn't have much of a taste to it. He takes the cup in disappointment because he was sort of hoping for a sundae or something more <em>fun.</em></p><p>Castiel picks up on his disappointment and says, "We'll get you something better when you get out of here okay buddy-" that's enough to bring a smile to the boys lips, for now. </p><p>Both men had gotten the day off so they could spend it with Dean and that seemed to make him happy. He was good as new, no longer felt sick anymore, although his throat was still sore due to the surgery but that would slowly be going away the longer he was in recovery. Since Dean had begged to be released early out of boredom, Castiel had to pull some strings to get him discharged from the hospital a whole day early. </p><p>Dean's early release was only possible because he had Castiel to take care of him at the house in case an emergency should arise, not that there would be one. On the drive home they got the boy a happy meal and a milkshake for his throat and that made him even happier. Once they got to the house, they let themselves in and enjoy their food while watching television on the couch.</p><p>They end up watching some vampire movie that had been on even though Castiel worried it would be too scary for the boy to watch but he seemed to be into it. So in the end, Dean and his father won and they were now watching the movie which he didn't particularly enjoy. Dean kept laughing when blood splattered everywhere, it only made him think that he was morbid for finding humor in someone's death- even if it was <em>just </em>a movie. </p><p>Castiel lost his appetite half way through his burger because of the blood and gore, so he set it on the coffee table. He was just glad Dean ate all of his food because he was starting to notice that the boy was eating a little less, maybe because he was sick so often. </p><p>The next day while John is at the shop, their horror movie marathon continues because Dean wanted it to so he had to give in to it. They're watching yet another vampire movie, it must have been the third one in less that twenty four hours.</p><p>Dean suddenly snarls like a demonic killer puppy before charging on Castiel who doesn't react right away because he wasn't expecting something this to happen. The eleven year old ends up biting him on the neck just like he had learned from the movies they'd been watching since getting home.</p><p>What surprises him is that he ends up liking it, a soft groan escapes his lips. The boy latched onto his neck just assumes that it hurts him and swells with pride at being a good little vampire. "Rrrrrrr-" he snarls again playfully, really it's just beyond adorable at this point even if he's doing his best to be <em>scary.</em></p><p>Small but sharp teeth sink into his thick neck yet again, deeper this time and he's instantly hard in his jeans. A small groan escapes him. "Agh-" </p><p>Dean pulls away right then in confusion, eyebrows furrowed. "Does it hurt a lot?" </p><p>Castiel can't help how horny he is right in that moment so he suggests, "Do you want to play a game?" without answering the question and he's got to keep the arousal out of his voice. "We can both pretend to be vampires-" he knows he's crossing a line right now because there's no way this can be innocent.</p><p>"Yea!" he nods frantically with excitement. "I wanna play!"</p><p>Relief floods his veins and scoots over to the boy on the couch until their clothed thighs touch."You go first, bite me-"</p><p>The boys teeth sink into his skin once again and he has to bite his lip just so he won't moan again. Getting kissed or bitten on the neck was one of his turn on's and it just so happened that he discovered it on his own with this brand new fascination with vampires. Hopefully the <em>phase </em>sticks around and he's a horrible human being for thinking such a thing.</p><p>Dean starts giggling against his neck and is now biting lower, and lower until reaching the strong muscled shoulder. He's got to hold on before biting the firm flesh because it's pretty hard there, not soft like his neck. Dean does this all on his own without any suggestions or ideas, which surprised Castiel and couldn't help but let out a groan.</p><p>His hand rests over his bulge and is squeezing it occasionally, stopping only after realizing he'd been doing that in the first place. </p><p>Castiel pulls away after a while, "Can I bite you?" his voice is filled with hidden lust. The boy gives his approval and has him lay down flat on his back on the couch before gently turning the boys head to the side to expose his pale neck. "Are you sure?" he's given approval once again so he bends down over the small body, biting the milky soft flesh gently.</p><p>Dean makes a sound that he's never heard before but that's all he wants to hear, for the rest of his life. His teeth sink a bit deeper, of course being mindful that he's just a child so he would never really hurt him.</p><p><em>"Hmmph-"</em> the soft whimper escapes those parted pink lips. Castiel notices that the boys eyebrows were knit together in what seemed to be pre-teen arousal or confusion. "Can you do it again-" he asks softly for another bite.</p><p>Castiel hides the growl in his chest before diving in once more, except this time it was more of a kiss rather than a bite- that same sound escapes the boys lips. It was such a soft and sweet sound, he couldn't get enough of it so he begins kissing a little bit more roughly- with no biting whatsoever. </p><p>Dean whimpers underneath him, making noises that sounded like needy sighs. "Castiel-" his voice is shaky and his hands are gripping onto the older mans shirt for support. "I'm scared-" he admits quietly. Dean says he's scared, but his hands are roaming the older mans broad chest and shoulders in curiosity.</p><p>Castiel smiles in understanding because really- what was he thinking to play a game like this with an eleven year old. "I'm sorry-" the boy gulps under him and he's unable to resist lifting up his shirt and blowing a raspberry on his tummy which makes him giggle right away. He does it again, before ending the session with a little kiss to the reddened skin. "Guess we should bag the whole vampire thing huh-"</p><p>Dean nods, "Yea, it made me tired-" and pushes down his shirt without thinking what just happened was weird because his mom used to do this to him all the time when he was younger. Blue eyes scan his small body innocently before landing on the small tent in his shorts and he quickly covers himself up with his hands with a loud gulp of humiliation.</p><p>Castiel licks his lips before blinking, snapping himself out of what he'd been thinking in his mind because it was totally and completely wrong. He should be ashamed of himself for thinking such a thing and there was no way his thoughts would become reality. Not with Dean Winchester who is just a child- no matter how cute or sweet he was, nothing could ever happen.</p><p>The fact that Dean had a tent in his shorts is something that is none of his business. </p><p>They resume their vampire movie marathon like nothing had ever happened and Dean seemed to forget about the last ten minutes a little too quickly which bruised his ego severely.</p><p>While the movie plays on the television, he's secretly wishes that the boy was of age or at least old enough to consent to something <em>more. </em>Because he wants more, so much more than Dean can legally give him right now.</p><p>Castiel sighs loudly in defeat, "Want some dinner?" and soon reluctantly gets up from the couch to go to the kitchen to prepare something.</p><p>They settled on ham and cheese sandwiches, of course he bothered to make a few extra to save for John or there would be hell to pay for not doing so. The mechanic would probably be home any minute now and starving. </p><p>As they eat in silence at the kitchen table, Dean keeps sneaking glances at the older man every now and then like he's curious about him all of a sudden. In what way? He doesn't know and of course he doesn't know.</p><p>Castiel didn't have to look at the boy to know that those laser green eyes were on him constantly. "What-" he says in a very annoyed tone of voice. It's not the kids fault, it's his for even letting himself get carried away on a freaking daydream that something could happen between them.</p><p>Dean picks up on the bad mood because his father was always in one, he shakes his head quickly and eats the rest of his sandwich without looking at him. "I want to go play-" the statement is made as soon as he's finished because things feel weird. Maybe Castiel is mad at him for <em>something? </em></p><p>"Sure, go ahead-" the air between them is tense and this too, is his fault because he's pretty fucking upset that he won't be getting his way. Not that he even should get his way in this situation, the boy's off limits and he knew it.</p><p>Though he's unable to help the disappointment he feels deep at his core or maybe all he really needs is sex. <em>Maybe </em>that will fix him, sex with <em>John.</em> Just thinking about it annoys the holy hell out of him because regardless of how attractive the man is, his personality is revolting at times.</p><p>After the dishes are done and currently on the task of wiping down the kitchen table, that's when the mechanic walks in after a long day at the shop. "Hey-" he smiles, looking like he's in good spirits for a change when he sees the doctor bent over the kitchen table as he wipes it down.</p><p>All too casually, John walks up behind him and grips his hips roughly. "Mind if I fuck you like this?" his large hand rubs up and down his back seductively.</p><p>Before he's even had the chance to think about it Castiel is agreeing to his proposal for sex because he was horny and just wanted to forget about everything. For some odd reason, the pain of not being able to be with Dean is becoming a nagging <em>something </em>in his heart. Like when did <em>this </em>even start? It makes him feel so confused because he was so sure that he loved Dean like his own son.</p><p>John yanks down his pants and briefs before using spit to lube up his hole which didn't bother Castiel because he was already used to his routine. Does he wish the man would maybe lick him a little bit or finger him to get him <em>ready? </em>Yes but this is John Winchester we're talking about, so there was no way on earth he was getting any tongue or finger action. </p><p>Soon the thick cock enters him and he groans in pain at the splitting burn that always came at first. Castiel would never agree to bottom for anyone if getting the occasional jab to his prostate wasn't a possibility because when it happened, it felt like white hot fire caressing his soul and it was pure <em>heaven</em>.</p><p>John surprises him by lifting one of his legs and placing it on top of the kitchen table which gave him a new angle that allows for continuous prostate stimulation. The target was being hit every <em>single </em>time he rammed in forcefully.</p><p>The younger man actually moans in such a girly way that John grins about it because his boyfriend loves this. Castiel's got one sweaty hand spread open on the table and the other was gripping the edge of it in order to hold on.</p><p>Every once in a while he looks over his shoulder at the older man behind him, giving him the most pleasure he'd felt in a while and is unable to control the whoreish moans that escape his lips. </p><p>Johns fucking his doctor boyfriend so aggressively that his balance is lost and has to help him onto the table so now he's bend over with his knees spread wide apart. He really is loving this, having that ass up high just for him to enjoy. </p><p>Castiel whines tightly, "Oh my God-" because he's about come without ever touching his dick. Once again, he has a complete anal orgasm and trembles uncontrollably once it hits. </p><p>The mechanic huffs a soft laugh after he's already come and his movements slow down behind his younger lover. "So you uh, had a female orgasm?" it's a joke, or it's meant to be taken as such. </p><p>Castiel falls gently on the table and is heaving and twitching all over, still moaning softly every few seconds because he's struggling to come down from the orgasm. </p><p>John asks, "You okay?" and his tone is one of concern because it never takes him this long to recover from sex.</p><p>"Yes-" now he's annoyed all over again, his bad mood quickly returning even though his body is completely lax. "I'm fine, don't ask me stupid questions-"</p><p>"You gonna need help getting into the shower?" his dark brown eyes are focused elsewhere because he's not comfortable in the aftermath of what they do.</p><p>Castiel tries to get up on his own but it's proving difficult so he accepts the mans help in getting to the bathroom to get cleaned up. Once he's alone and under the cool spray of water hitting his body from above, a hiss gets punched out of him every time his soapy hand rubs over a sore area.</p><p>There's reddish hand prints molded onto his hips and he sort of likes them. It was a good fuck so the reminders are accepted.</p><p>His thoughts quickly go to Dean as he lathers up his hardening cock and lets it go completely because he really isn't going to pleasure himself with thoughts of a child in his mind. "Damn it, Dean-" his eyes begin to water, stinging his eyes or perhaps it was the shampoo still in his hair.</p><p>Either way Castiel was still feeling upset, he was so horny and so needy and no matter how many times he got fucked in the ass by John- it wouldn't fix that urge inside of him.</p><p>The dark desire he's got for his boyfriends son is unfathomable so Castiel says a quick prayer about it before rinsing off his sins in the shower. He spends a few minutes drying off his body with a towel, but mostly he's just admiring the reminders on his flesh. When he meets John in the bedroom, he locks the door behind him and quickly climbs on top of the older man that was already in bed.</p><p>"The fuck-" John says tightly, "Again?" his hand quickly taking their place on the younger mans hips.</p><p>"I wish you'd let me fuck you-" the declaration is soft in the silent room. "Do you think-" hesitates. "Just tonight, can I fuck-"</p><p>John's hand quickly grips the back of the doctors head, grasping a handful of his dark hair between his fingers. "Listen slut-" Castiel winces, "I fuck you, you don't get to fuck me. Are we clear about that?" when he doesn't get a response as quickly as he'd like, he yanks harder on the freshly washed hair. "I asked you a question-"</p><p>Castiel nods quickly just to oblige, "You fuck me, I don't fuck you-" and is let go instantly and he quickly crawls to his side of the bed like a wounded puppy.</p><p>The following day Dean and John get to spend some quality time at home after his first day back to school from winter break. It was out of the ordinary for them to be alone early in the day but Castiel was working a double shift at the hospital and it was the only reason he wasn't around to tuck Dean into bed that night.</p><p>Now that they had the house to themselves, John sneaks into his sons room and gets under the covers with him. He breathes his hot spicy breath against his pretty boys face, spending a few moments just inhaling his clean scent.</p><p>It was past midnight and Dean was fast asleep but still manages to wake up because there's something similar to dog breath in his face. "Castiel-" he murmurs cutely because he always thinks about the doctor now for some reason.</p><p>His eyes open wide in fear because Castiel does not have dog breath, his father does- that spicy hot breath was unforgettable.</p><p>John huffs in his ear, "That what you dream about-" his tone is one of jealousy. "-Cas?"</p><p>"No-" he lies, because he's guilty of thinking of the doctor a little too much.</p><p>John knows it's a lie because the truth just came out and his son needs to pay for loving Castiel more than him. He assumes it's <em>fatherly </em>love and maybe that's for the best, if he knew something else was blooming in there, who knows what would happen. His hand quickly comes down on his sons perky bottom repeatedly, until he's sure the boy has learned his lesson.</p><p>His screams bounce of the walls, "Dad!" he cries out between sobs. Even though his used to the pain of getting himself spanked, it's the betrayal that hurts the most.</p><p>"Does he touch you?" the question is asked suddenly because John is curious, wonders if maybe his boyfriend is double dipping in the Winchester household. "Does he do anything weird to you when I'm not around?"</p><p>Dean's crying instantly stops and becomes confused. "No-" it was true, the man had never touched him. </p><p>This time his father believes him and comes to do what he came for originally which was snuggle with his boy under the covers. His large hand is kneading Dean's squishy thighs, a little to close to his privates.</p><p>The boy accidentally lets out a soft moan of defiance, it only eggs him on and now his hand is rubbing between his sons legs. It makes him squirm a little before giving in and a string of soft whimpers come out of his pretty parted lips.</p><p>Dean looks over his shoulder at his father, eyes boring into the older mans brown eyes in confusion but sudden pleasure. "Dad-" he says breathlessly, "Daddy-" then his head is shoved into the mattress until he has a second orgasm without meaning too.</p><p>The whole thing has him crying like baby, tears soaking the sheets under his face before squealing in anger into his pillow once he's left alone.</p><p>So much is happening around him at all times and it's so hard to keep up. Puberty is around the corner, not to mention his growing <em>whatever </em>for Castiel and his father doing <em>this </em>to him. It's all too fucking much for him to handle and he can't take it anymore.</p><p>No one is telling him anything, he's clueless about everything and what it all means. His body is so foreign to him, it's not like when he was ten- that's when things were simple. His life simply consisted of school and playing with Sam.</p><p>When Dean is sure that his father is done with him for the night, he goes on the hunt for something sweet to make himself feel better. After settling on some ice cream, his behind is parked in front of the television because he's too upset to go to bed right now. If it earned him another spanking, then <em>whatever.</em></p><p>It's not long at all before Castiel comes home to find him sitting on the floor, a little too close to the flickering screen. Rather than scolding the boy for not being asleep, he chooses to be the good guy tonight because being bad cop with someone as sweet as Dean felt like a crime. </p><p>"You know that's gonna hurt your eyes-" is what he goes with instead of being mad. The boy looks up at him and instantly he knows the boy had been crying. "Hey-" he squats down next to him. "What happened? Did you get sick?"</p><p>Dean looks down at his empty bowl, "I don't wanna grow up-" is all he mutters before his shoulders start shaking. </p><p>Growing up is hard and your body changing right before your eyes is no walk in the park. Of course he feels sympathetic towards him, puberty is difficult to go through. If only he knew puberty wasn't his only problem, it was the bear down the hall that wants him for dinner.</p><p>"Dean-" he sits down on the floor awkwardly because he's too old for this. "I know things feels strange-" his hand lands on the boys shoulder gently, "But I want you to know that you can come talk to me about it. I'll answer whatever questions you have-"</p><p>Dean looks up at the older man, tears rolling down his puffy cheeks. "But I hate it-" his breath stutters. "It feels bad-"</p><p>If he could just figure out how to tell Castiel about what was happening but he doesn't have a clue how to put the words together. It's not like he knows what his father is doing to him is abuse, no one's ever talked to him about it. "I want my mom-"</p><p>"Oh, Dean-" his heart feels like breaking right then. "I'm sorry that she's not here-" he pulls the boy in for a hug which is eagerly returned. "Shh, it's okay. I'm here for you-" his hand continues to rub up and down his back. "I'm not going anywhere-"</p><p>Dean pulls away, wiping away his tears with his small hands. "Promise?"</p><p>Castiel smiles warmly, "I Promise-" they hug again and for a long time. "I'll never <em>leave </em>you-" </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. The Lost Boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Castiel comes home from work to find John on the couch with an opened bag of chips between his thighs. It was quite the surprise, normally Dean would be sitting in his place doing the exact same thing when he walked in through the front door.</p><p>It's so not thrilling to see the mechanic in place of that sweet face that belongs to his son. The relationship between them feels like it's fizzling out at warp speed, maybe because his attention is focused elsewhere. Like on sweet little Dean Winchester.</p><p>Perhaps there's a hint of a breakup in the horizon. Breaking up with John Winchester wouldn't be such a bad thing, in fact it's what he should do in order to get his life back but there's <em>Dean </em>to consider. </p><p>Though now that he's promised Dean a handful of times that he wasn't going to go anywhere, it would be a really shitty thing to break such a promise. The promise will be kept no matter how much it pains him to be with this man because he's worth it and so much more.</p><p>"You're home early-" he says, plopping down on the couch next to the mechanic who was still in his oil stained uniform. "Dean in his room?"</p><p>His eyes look around for him to hopefully pop up from somewhere, no such luck.</p><p>Of course he couldn't resist asking about the boy because it's all he can think about lately and is trying so hard to convince himself that he just cares about him like a father would. Then again fathers don't think about kissing their adorable sons, oh but that doesn't include John Winchester.</p><p>John shrugs, reaching into the bag for more of the crunchy snack. "The kid wasn't home when I got here-" </p><p>Castiel sits up, becoming fully alert once again and it pisses him off that the man is distracted by the television. "What do you mean he's not here?" a bad feeling pools in his stomach.</p><p>He shoves his boyfriend roughly in hopes to pull his attention away from the screen, "Where the hell is he!" and maybe he said that a little louder than he meant to.</p><p>The older man shoves him back just as roughly, "I don't fucking know, why don't you go look for him!"</p><p>Castiel grabs his keys in a rush because Dean is missing and his shitty father seems to give no fucks about it. How long had he been home from work and not noticed, over <em>two hours?</em>  All he knew is that he needed to find him and fast because the world is a big scary place with big scary people.</p><p>He must have driven around the neighborhood a few times, glancing everywhere and hoping that he might just be off playing with one of the neighborhood kids. Castiel even asked a few of them if they've seen Dean and they all said no.</p><p>Anxiety is coursing throughout his entire body because the boys never been <em>missing </em>before. Dean was good about that, always where he should be and nowhere else. Eventually he even ends up at Sam's house, asking his mother if Dean was there since she had been outside tending to her garden. </p><p>No suck luck, the eleven year old boy wasn't at Sam's house either. Where could he <em>be?</em></p><p>After driving around aimlessly for almost an entire hour, the idea hits him to check the park. After all, it was just around the corner and one of his favorite places to play.</p><p>That's where he finds Dean Winchester, sitting on one of the swings all by himself just like he hoped. Relief floods instantly and he takes a few seconds to let his heart rate slow down just so that he doesn't have a heart attack over the worry the boy gave him.</p><p>Castiel parked sloppily when he arrived, across two spaces and not giving a damn about it and speeds walks towards Dean. It wasn't surprising at all to see that here weren't many people around, most likely because the sun was quickly beginning to set in the distance.</p><p>"Dean-" he says carefully, going down on one knee in order to be at eye level with the prettiest greens. </p><p>The boy looks up to meet his gaze quickly, only then does he reveal that he had been crying. His lips were puffy and his eyes were swollen like when you've been crying for a long time.</p><p>Dean looks spooked suddenly because the adult at his feet was crying, "Why are <em>you </em>crying?" </p><p>Castiel blinks away the tears, not realizing when he had begun doing so. "Because you ran away!" his tone is loud, too loud. "You had me fucking worried!"</p><p>Somebody should really tell him that it's so not cool to yell at a child, especially when that child isn't your own. Castiel's got no experience with kids so sometimes he makes mistakes, but he really means well. Anyhow, he's still got John Winchester beat by a mile.</p><p>"Oooo! You said a bad word-" and the man forgets why he was mad in the first place. "You need to apologize to the ghosts, they can hear you-"</p><p>Castiel looks around, "Excuse me?" they were now the only ones at the park. "What ghosts- what are you talking about-" although he's aware that kids say some pretty weird things but this takes the cake. "Dean, what ghosts?"</p><p>He quickly stands up, placing his hands on his hips while waiting for an answer. Total <em>dad </em>move and it goes unrealized by the both of them, probably for the best.</p><p>Dean looks over at the empty swing set to his right, "My mom-" their eyes meet. "She's right there-"</p><p>Castiel takes a step back because no one was on the other swing set, certainly not Mary Winchester. "There's no one there. Are you feeling alright?" his hand comes to feel the boys forehead. Completely <em>normal. </em></p><p>The boys trauma over what's been going on with his father in the dead of night had caused him to make believe that his mother was there to offer him comfort. Dean was secretly thinking that maybe she was dead and that it was the reason she never came back. It was better to have her <em>ghost </em>with him, than nothing at all.</p><p>Dean looks over to the very obviously empty swing again, "Mom said not to use bad words-" then looks up at the man towering over him. "She doesn't like it-" </p><p>His pretty face looks so innocent, yet determined to believe what he's saying is the truth.</p><p>Castiel decides to play along just so that conflict won't arise, "I'm sorry I said a bad word, okay-" smiles warmly. "Come on, we should go home before it get's dark-" not budging one bit. "Dean, I <em>said</em>-"</p><p>Dean quickly hops off the swing to obey because a firm voice means a hard spanking -thank John for that- and he really doesn't want to get spanked by the man he's got a huge crush on.</p><p>Not that he even knows that's what he's been feeling for the guy, so getting <em>disciplined </em>by him would be beyond humiliating. There's no way Castiel will ever see his super ugly crying face, no fucking way in hell.</p><p>It was completely dark now in the world and a little scary, so Dean holds onto Castiel's hand all the way back to the car. On the drive home, neither say a word about Mary Winchester or her <em>ghost. </em></p><p>Poor Dean, so desperate to believe this lie over the fact that his mother just <em>left </em>because it's too painful to live with. There's no doubt that he misses her so much, every boy needs a mother in his life to make sure he grows up loved.</p><p>When the car is put into park the second they arrive at the house, Dean gives him pause. The boy tugs on the sleeve of the mans sweater to keep him from exiting the car and there's a certain look on his face. Something that looks a lot like <em>please.</em></p><p>"Wait-" he gulps prettily, if that were even possible. "Can we stay here for a while-" </p><p>Castiel swallows to quickly notice that his throat was suddenly very dry and scratchy. The look on that angelic face was so precious, all he wanted to do was lean over and worship him like he fucking deserved. </p><p>The heat blasts on high and the radio volume is low, playing <em>Christian Rock. </em></p><p>This feels a lot like a date and It's a sick thought to think but this is the most romantic moment of his life so far. Even if it was with an eleven year old boy who was clueless about everything.</p><p>Dean's eyes peek up at him every few seconds, making him a little fidgety on the leather seat. It's almost as if he's waiting for something, could he be waiting for Castiel to give him a kiss on the cheek, like the last time they were parked in the car at <em>night?</em></p><p>"Dean, what is it- why are you looking at me like that?" his tone must've sounded angry because the boy slightly jumps in the passenger seat. "Sorry, guess I'm just nervous-"</p><p>His eyes glance through the car window, at the porch light that had been switched on since his departure a few hours ago in his search of the boy sitting next to him now.</p><p>The boy sniffles, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his jacket. "I'm cold-" his voice is so <em>soft </em>and pretty.</p><p>Castiel pulls off his sweater to drape over the child like a blanket, their faces a mere few inches apart now. "Better?" shakes his head. "Where are you cold buddy-" licks his lips, out of pure nervousness.</p><p>The words are whispered because he's just too damn scared to speak any louder or even freaking move a muscle. If Dean gets spooked the moment will be ruined, not that there really is much to ruin. This isn't a date or anything, not at all and he knows this or at least he should.</p><p>Dean points to his nose to show where he's cold and is looking up into the older mans eyes with such innocence yet so much intensity. </p><p>Castiel leans in and before realizing, his nose is gently rubbing against Dean's in a very shy eskimo kiss that makes them both giggle. Hearing the boy laugh so prettily was fire to keep him doing it for a while longer, until it wasn't safe to do so anymore.</p><p>He pulls away, eyes focused on those lush pink lips that he just wants to devour already. "Ready to go inside?" </p><p>Dean fucking <em>sighs </em>before hopping off the car without responding to the question.</p><p>Castiel bites his lip softly, his eyes closing as he lets his head lean back against the cars leather headrest. Even though this just happened, his mind is recalling the feel of the boys nose brushing up against his own. </p><p>Aside from the fact that he hasn't crossed any lines that would put him in jail for maybe the rest of his life, he still feel like he has crossed the line with Dean. His feelings for the eleven year old are sick and wrong, he knows this. Yet, it sure as hell not going to stop him from loving Dean Winchester- even if it's simply loving him in a <em>fatherly </em>way.</p><p>Over the following days Castiel doesn't see much of Dean and tries not to take it personally because there's no way that he did something <em>wrong </em>right? Maybe Dean was just being moody or maybe just having a bad week, who knows.</p><p>John doesn't give him any answers when he asks what's going on with his son, simply grunts and takes another damn sip of his beer. Castiel wants to talk, to sit down with the boy and ask him what's going on but there's just no time for such a thing to occur. </p><p>It seems like a bad joke in the universe because things are bad with both Winchesters and he can't fix it due to his busy schedule. His days are spent at the hospital because he's the only doctor in the Emergency Room at the moment, it's a shame really.</p><p>It's not until Friday night that he brings a pizza home for movie night in hopes that his best little buddy might just be up for it. The Impala being parked in the driveway at five in the afternoon is a dreadful surprise because he was hoping to have Dean all to himself.  </p><p>The moment he exits his car, the mechanic slams the front door before walking down the street in a hurry. He doesn't even have to wonder where the man is going, the bar around the corner was the only place he goes to on foot.</p><p>Once inside the home that was suddenly cast in evening shadows, the doctor shivers for no reason at all. Hopefully he's just coming down with something and not totally hating the idea of living in this home with a man he despises.</p><p>The bath was running down the hall, it happens to catch his interest so he sets the pizza box on the kitchen table before going to investigate. His eyes peek in through the wide open bathroom door to spot Dean sitting in the tub and playing with his action figures underneath the water.</p><p>His eyes were pink and glossy when the boy looked up, <em>uh oh. </em>It was obvious that he had been crying again, but over <em>what? </em></p><p>"Where did your dad go?" he knows, to the freaking bar- but he wants to make conversation.</p><p>Dean shrugs before looking up once again at the older man standing before him. His lashes were so wet they clumped together to form big spider lashes but it would be wrong for Castiel to always assume the boy was crying, so he doesn't draw attention to it further because he was wet all over too.</p><p>Castiel crouches down low in order to run the back of his fingers over the boys cheek in comfort. "Rinse up, I know you must be hungry-" quickly he stands to leave the bathroom.</p><p>Both of their moods improve big time after some pizza and soda in front of the television. Castiel made a bold statement, which Dean agrees to wholeheartedly. <em>There's nothing some gooey hot pizza can't fix. </em></p><p>When the credits to the movie on the screen begin roll, Castiel looks over at Dean who was already looking at him. Double <em>uh oh, </em>why does he keep doing that? </p><p>"Where you crying in the bathroom?" </p><p>Great, he just had to ask the obvious and possibly humiliate the poor boy even more. But he had to know, Dean's been <em>extra </em>weird these days. If only he knew how to express himself properly or put into words of what John's favorite activity to do with him was lately.</p><p>Dean worries his lip for a moment, hands patting the couch under him for no reason. "I felt bad-" met with confusion, so he clarifies. "I feel bad sometimes, like my stomach hurts-" frowns, brows furrowed. "Sort of like when I eat too much candy-"</p><p>Right then he told no lies because his stomach did ache in this particular way when his father was done with him. The emotional things he felt in those moments with the man was strange at best, having to lay there while treated like some kind of rag doll felt really funny to him. It made his insides burn in a very bad way and he wasn't fond of it.</p><p>Castiel must have been quiet for a while too long because the boy is speaking even more, that alone shocks him because he rarely says much. Much less put entire sentences together in one go, it's too much to take in without smiling- regardless if it wasn't the time to do so or not.</p><p>Dean moves on from the topic to say, "Dad gets mad at me-" swallows like there's something sticky in his throat. "Cause I like you a lot-" </p><p>The older man snaps out of it, blinking. "You like <em>me?"  </em>points to himself like a dumbass. </p><p>"You always got gum-" the reply is innocent, "You give me money for school too, dad never gives me any-"</p><p>For a second there, Castiel thought the boy was going to mention those little cheek kisses that he receives on occasion. His mind goes to the gutter always and something should be done about it.</p><p>Maybe he should get himself into therapy to make him see right and wrong before he does the one thing he wants to do the most which would be to <em>kiss </em>him. It's such a innocent thing he wants but in the eyes of the law, it's completely wrong and he would be exiled from society.</p><p>Castiel looks away briefly before making another bold statement. "It's been a long night, we should go to bed-" surprisingly, the boy follows him to the bedroom he shares with his father. "Dean, you have your own room-" he looks over his shoulder.</p><p>Dean looks up at the freakishly tall older man standing in his fathers room. "But I like it in here-" perhaps the man isn't so tall but in comparison to his child sized frame, the guy is a giant.</p><p>Castiel's hands are on his hips because they're both treading on thin ice here, "You don't hang out in here when your father-"</p><p>When his father is mentioned the boy takes a step back as if he were suddenly right there with them. It's obvious by the looks of it that Dean is terrified of him and he assumes that it's because of his bad temper or the <em>yelling,</em> that scares him too.</p><p>His tone softens and pulls the boy close by his arms. "You okay?" no response, just cute pouting. "Okay-" he sighs, knowing this is a bad idea. "You can stay in here with me until your dad gets home-"</p><p>Dean nods sweetly before scrambling to climb onto the bed and turns on the television. No time is wasted before he's laying on his stomach with his legs kicking lazily back and forth. The look on his face now is one that belongs to someone without a care in the world.</p><p>Castiel can't help but feel all warm inside at the adorableness that was his boyfriends son. It's fucked up and he knows it but maybe he's in way too deep to change anything about his feelings. But if John ever finds out about said feelings.. he's a <em>dead </em>man.</p><p>He grabs a pair of sweat pants to change into in the bathroom because taking his pants off in front of the boy is something he won't do. <em>Obviously, </em>he's not that sick to expose himself to a child.</p><p>After an outfit change and a quick brushing of his teeth, he comes back and places his knee on the bed. "Move over, you're hogging the whole bed-" there's an appropriate smile on his face.</p><p>When more room had been made on the bed, that's when he slides in underneath the covers. Still, Dean snuggles into him and he's surprisingly uncomfortable with the closeness. Maybe that had something to do with the fact that he was shirtless and the boys cheek is resting against his bare chest. </p><p>A few minutes into the innocent cuddle session, Castiel begins to feel the warm breath on his skin. It gives him goosebumps for the next ten minutes, until eventually getting used to it and forgets all about it.</p><p>His hand lands on the boys back after some more time has passed, nails dragging up and down mindlessly while they watch some reality cop show. The boy peeks up at him through his lashes, apparently he wasn't aware of what he'd been doing.</p><p>"That tickles-"</p><p>Castiel looks down, "Hmm?" and quickly stops after realizing where his hand was. "Oh, sorry-" </p><p>It's not long before Dean begins to make little sleepy noises, like the cutest puppy ever. It makes Castiel smiles adoringly before planting a barely there kiss on the top of his head.</p><p>Though his eyes are getting harder to keep open due to drowsiness, he still somehow manages to get the boy to his room and to his <em>own </em>bed. Things would go to shit if John came home to find his son snuggled up with him on his bed. </p><p>Once Dean is tucked in along with his stuffed spider man doll, he doesn't leave the boys room right away and simply admires him for a minute or two. Maybe <em>more </em>than two minutes.</p><p>The boy suddenly stirs, opening his eyes and the prettiest smile forms on his lips. Instantly, Castiel wishes he hadn't stayed to watch him sleep like a total creep because that's how he feels. But the sweet smile he's getting right now might be worth all the trouble in the world.</p><p>"Goodnight, Dean-" he pretends to fix the covers over the boys body.</p><p>Dean makes more sleepy tired noises before rolling over onto his stomach and falling back to sleep like he'd never woken. This time Castiel does exit the room because he has the overwhelming urge to bring him back into his boyfriends bed and just hold him forever.</p><p>The very next evening Castiel stumbles in through the front door with take out in one hand and his work bag in the other. The beautiful smile of an eleven year old boy is what greets him and a movie already cued up on the television for them to watch. Yeah, this was definitely a better view to come home to.</p><p>Before their night begins, he gives the mechanic a few rings before giving in to even more alone time with this lovely boy. </p><p>John hadn't been sleeping at the house lately, sometimes he would show up and sometimes he just wouldn't. Castiel tries to ignore the gossip going around town, the ones that mentioned the mechanic in the arms of another <em>woman. </em></p><p>Was he jealous? Maybe a little, but the man wasn't totally gay to begin with so this wasn't earth shattering to him in the least.</p><p>Was he pissed? Not at all, because this only means less time with him.</p><p>Movie night turned out to be a total success with many giggles shared between them. Right after, they both shower-<em>separately of course-</em> and get ready for bed. Castiel had been up past midnight due to having to clean the house before calling it a night.</p><p>Though he couldn't turn in without checking on Dean and flips the light switch on without thinking. The boy groans, covering his eyes with his spider man doll in order to shield his eyes from the blinding light. Apparently he'd been awake in the dark since their movie night ended.</p><p>Castiel wasn't aware that children could suffer from insomnia but it's obvious there's much to learn about them, or at least Dean Winchester.</p><p>The eleven year old speaks first, surprisingly. "Castiel-" sits up a little bit, propped up on his elbows and looking so cute. "Can I tell you a secret-"</p><p>The man pads deeper into the bedroom and has a seat on the edge of the twin bed. "Did you have a nightmare or something?" there's a smile on his face. </p><p>Dean hiccups cutely, shaking his head. "I was thinking about you-" another pretty hiccup, hands reaching down to tug his shirt over his knees as if to hide a certain <em>something </em>from catching the older mans attention but it does anyway. </p><p>Castiel shakes his head a little too vigorously for a few short seconds, it was really hard for him to believe that Dean would be thinking of him. There's no way on earth or in heaven that this sweet angel would be thinking of him, but then it depends in what way that is.</p><p>Eventually he mumbles, "What's on your mind?" because there's no harm at all in knowing what swims around in the eleven year old pretty brain.</p><p>Dean worries his bottom lip before answering innocently, "I saw a movie, with Sam-" a final hiccup. Really, someone should make sure he doesn't eat hot cheetos before bed. "A boy and a girl kissed, it was weird-"</p><p>Castiel relaxes because clearly the boy was just curious about what he had seen in the movie, of course it has nothing to do with him. <em>Right? </em> Again, no way the boy would be thinking of kissing him, no way.</p><p>"Sometimes boys and girls do that, Dean-"</p><p>The boy actually licks his bottom lip shyly as if preparing for a kiss, "I wish I could do it-" his words are spoken so softly. "It looks cool-" </p><p>Castiel's heart is beating so hard in his chest because holy shit, it's happening, the wettest of wet dreams might actually just happen right here and now. Even so, he's getting ahead of himself because there's just no way this is real and he huffs a soft laugh, rubbing his eyes with hopes of waking up from whatever the fuck this is. </p><p>Dean lets go of his shirt and it rides up just a bit, exposing some thigh flesh and now he's laying flat on his back with his hands on his tummy. The older mans curious eyes catch every single movement and every inch of skin there is to see, which isn't much so he's not buying himself a one way ticket to jail or hell just yet.</p><p>"Can you tell me what it's like-" his eyes are looking up curiously, so curiously at him. Sure he's kissed Sam, but that barely counts because they're like brothers. "does it tickle?"</p><p>Castiel almost stutters before replying with, "It feels nice-" things are a little awkward, only on his end because the boy is just watching him intensely. Those laser green eyes just going through him as if peeking at his soul, does he even know he does that? <em>Probably not. </em>"In a few years, you can kiss someone-" </p><p>When the man moves closer to him, the boy protests innocently. "Castiel-" his rough lips press against his forehead, then his cheek. "Castiel-" his name is said louder the second time.</p><p>There's a weird hot feeling in his stomach, sort of like when his dad gets into bed with him. Except this feels <em>good, </em>like he might want the guy to get into bed with him like his dad does. Maybe to do <em>everything </em>his dad does with him.</p><p>Castiel breathes in a mere two inches from the boys face and inhales all of his sweet scent. "I have to go-" before he can stand, a small hand wraps around his wrist. The boy's lips are parted slightly and his cheeks are flushed. "Dean, let me go-" he begs because things can go very bad from here if he gives in. </p><p>Dean hugs the older man tightly, wanting something and not knowing how to say it in words because he doesn't know what that something is himself. His eyes peek up in confusion and desperation, only then does Castiel nod and leans in to press his lips against the corner of his mouth.</p><p>He watches for a reaction but the boy smiles, fucking smiles like angel- slowly, he helps the boy lay back again before going in for a real kiss.</p><p>Castiel's lips are rough and dry as they press against the softest lips ever. His eyes open mid kiss to see that Dean's were closed, enjoying the kiss. Against his better judgement, the desire for more hits and he's doing it again.</p><p>Dean whimpers softly and it's so pretty, it eggs him on and the tip of his tongue slips out. Unfortunately it seems to spook him because he gasps, almost as if choking under water.</p><p>"Why did you do that-" his voice is innocent, questioning. "You tried to put your tongue in my mouth-"</p><p>Castiel can feel his face going red again, "I'm sorry-" of course this boy doesn't know about french kissing and why would he.</p><p>"Do it again-" he giggles softly, "It felt funny-"</p><p>The man licks his lips before diving in again, softly using the tip of his tongue to pry apart the boys pretty lips. He opens instantly, allowing for the long tongue to enter his mouth and soon he's making all kinds of cute noises.</p><p>Castiel tries to keep himself under control, to not do too much or kiss too deeply so that he doesn't freak him out permanently. The kiss is kept pretty tame and sweet, just for <em>Dean. </em></p><p>Though, no matter how gentle the kiss is- the boy is all cute sighs and whimpers. Dean isn't really kissing back that much due to his lack of experience so Castiel is taking the lead and simply explores the small mouth with tenderness. It's all so soft and <em>warm.</em></p><p>Castiel pulls away after a good while, "I should go-" the words are whispered against the boys lips. "Your dad could come home, he could see what I'm doing to you-"</p><p>Dean's hands are tugging on the collar of the older mans shirt to keep him there, "But I don't want you to go yet-" </p><p>Castiel curses, "Fuck-" under his breath before pressing his forehead against the boys chest in agony. Because what the fuck has gotten into him suddenly? His thoughts, his feelings- they were all supposed to be one sided, his sick twisted mind playing tricks on him. "I <em>need </em>to go-" there's urgency in his tone.</p><p>The man pulls himself away from the boy who quickly begins to cry like the child he still is, almost squealing for him to come back. He locks the door behind himself once he's in the safety of the bedroom he shares with John and hides under the covers like a coward.</p><p>The boys screaming doesn't die down for a while, maybe half an hour and must have cried himself too sleep too. Leaving Dean alone like that, basically ripping himself away from his tiny grasp makes him feel like a horrible person but it's what he needed to do.</p><p>There was nothing more he wanted than to keep kissing him, to keep feeling those soft lips against him. But it doesn't change the fact that it's wrong, so wrong. Why did Dean want to kiss him anyway? Could Dean be feeling the same curiosity about him that he was feeling too? It's just <em>not </em>possible. </p><p>The next morning is unfortunately his day off, it was only dreaded because he assumes Dean will tell his father about making him cry. Will today be the day he gets kicked out the house or worse, go to jail?</p><p>After getting up out of bed and moving around the house, he comes to realize that John never came home last night. Guess the rumors around town were true and the mechanic had found himself a chick to fool around with.</p><p>Honestly, good for him because it's less time that he has to spend with him because his main focus is Dean, in whatever shape of form.</p><p>It's not long at all before the cartoons blaring on full blast from the living room capture his attention. As expected, the eleven year old was sitting on the floor a few feet away from the flickering television with an empty bowl of cereal next to him. He has to give him some credit, he can feet himself- even if it was just cereal.</p><p>His heart aches longingly because he just wants him to be happy, whatever that may look like.</p><p>The pair of pale green eyes notice him after a moment and they quickly refocus on his cartoons. Guess he's mad, that's too bad. Castiel shakes his head and goes into the kitchen for a cup of coffee, some shuffling behind him has him looking over his shoulder. </p><p>Dean's standing there with his hands behind his back and his hair a mess. "I don't feel good-" he says softly. In reality, he feels just find but he's come to learn by now that if he wants the mans attention, he's got to say he feels sick. </p><p>Castiel comes close to him and feels his forehead, "You don't have a fever-" the boy forcefully coughs, pretending to have a cold now. Smiles before crouching down, "I know you're faking it-" the boy blushes, looking down at his bare feet. "I work in a hospital, think I don't know when kids aren't really sick?"</p><p>Dean peeks up to look at him briefly before looking back down in shame for trying to take the doctor for a complete fool.</p><p>Castiel grabs him by the waist playfully but a little roughly, "Who taught you how to be so sneaky, hmm-" then tickles, making him giggle sweetly. "You're so cute-" they make eye contact and maintain it. "You know, I'd love to kiss you again-" his voice sounds unintentionally predatory, "But I'm older than you. By a lot, and Dean, It's illegal for me to kiss you at all-"</p><p>Dean doesn't understand what any of that meant, "It's bad to kiss me?" his face is full of confusion and has to ask- "Is it bad for dad to kiss me?"</p><p>Castiel assumes he means on the cheek, or forehead. "No, he's allowed to kiss you-" and that has the boy nodding, now believing that what his father does to him in bed is normal. "But I'm not allowed to do that-"</p><p>Dean worries his bottom lip, nodding. "Okay-" some pouting. "Sorry-" and it came out sounding like <em>sowwie.</em></p><p>Castiel tickles the boy again, just to get him to smile. "How about we go to the park?" stands up suddenly to resume preparing his coffee. "We could go see a movie after-"</p><p>There's absolutely no way he's going to be staying in the house all day with Dean and risk losing self control. After their kiss last night, there's about a million new things he wants to do to the boy that can never fucking happen. Not if he wants to remain a free man, not if he wants to <em>stay </em>here with him and watch him grow up.</p><p>They settle on going to the park first, before going to see a movie. It was still very early in the day but the park was deserted, no one but them around and it allows for Dean to run wild and play. He climbs the monkey bars first, making it all the way to the other end without falling. Then comes the swings, which Castiel sprints over to help push him.</p><p>Dean squeals with laughter when the swing goes way too high and eventually they're taking turns going down the slide that was only intended for children. Dean fit just fine, but Castiel had to work pretty damn hard to get through it. After a few tries, he gives up trying to fit and simply ends up catching the boy on his way down. </p><p>Castiel huffs after a while and looks at the watch on his wrist, "The movie you wanted to see starts soon, we should go" </p><p>Dean yells <em>you're it! </em>before roughly poking him in the abdomen and running in the direction of the car. Obviously, he won and Castiel plays the sore loser role to make him feel extra triumphant in his big win.</p><p>The drive to the movie theatre is made in comfortable silence, green eyes look over at him in wonder every once in a while. Once inside the theatre, they wait in line for their tickets to some kiddie movie, then they get in line for snacks. All Dean wanted was a blue icee and he got it because Castiel can't say no to him.</p><p>Everything is fine until they sit down for the movie and see nothing but babies, parents and kids all around them. Great, this is going to be so much fun for Castiel- <em>not.</em></p><p>Castiel sighs in misery, munching away at his overly buttered popcorn to hopefully pass the time a lot faster. The movie was boring, so damn boring but Dean was giggling at his side and it was all worth it- putting up with two hours of this lame animated movie was worth it.</p><p>When the movie is over, they walk hand in hand to the car and only allowed it because it wouldn't look strange. There were plenty of dads here, holding hands with their kids but then again- Dean wasn't Castiel's kid.</p><p>Once arriving at home, Castiel pulls into the driveway to be met with cops at the front porch waiting for them, John too. True, they were gone all day and now it's way past dark but what was he supposed to do- stay home with Dean all day in hopes of John coming home in case he felt like looking after his own son for a change?</p><p>Castiel exits the car without showing any visible emotion. "What's going on-" his voice doesn't show an ounce of nervous energy as he walks around his car to open the door for the boy to get out. "Dean, go inside-" and he obeys, quickly running up the house and inside of it. </p><p>Once the door closes behind him, "John, where the hell where you last night?" is the first thing to come out of his mouth, "You're never fucking home, I have to watch Dean all the damn time-" the words are just spilling out, laced with anger and hurt. </p><p>Castiel takes a breath before looking at the two men in uniform, "John is my boyfriend and never came home last night-" minor shocked looks exchanged from the cops. "I always watch his son, I didn't think it would be a big deal to take him out for a movie-"</p><p>"Think we can handle this in house?" one of the officers says, hands on his hips and clearly wants to get the heck out of there.</p><p>John quickly chimes in with his own story about what happened which is all lies. <em>Why?</em> Who the hell knows, maybe he's doing all this for fun and games.</p><p>Soon the mismatched couple are arguing about everything and laying it all on the table for God and their neighbors to see if they so choose to come outside to see the scene that the two adults are causing.</p><p>The cops watch the interaction between the two men in complete silence, mostly just looking uncomfortable in this situation. </p><p>Luckily the two cops at his side weren't buying the mechanics bullshit and quickly see that this is just some dumb mistake that didn't need the help of authorities. Mostly, they're acting like John Winchester is wasting precious tax payer money which in fact he very much fucking is. </p><p>The two police offices look at each other before nodding and walking down the steps, ignoring Johns pleas for them to do something about the kidnapping.</p><p>One of them says, "If you don't want your boyfriend taking your kid out, then maybe come home at night to make sure they both don't go anywhere-" they both laugh and walk back to their patrol cars.</p><p>John mutters a string of profanities under his breath and yanks the screen door open angrily, going inside the home. The couple argue some more in hushed whispers until they notice the worried boy spying on them from around the corner of the hallway.</p><p>He orders his son, "Go to your fuckin' room-" </p><p>Castiel heads for the bathroom in a hurry to splash some water on his face because the last twenty four hours have been <em>interesting </em>to say the least. It doesn't even matter that he left his dumb boyfriend in the living room to argue with himself, the skull crushing headache needs tending to first.</p><p>A quick shower and a couple of aspirins later, his head is feeling better. Now things are setting in, the fact that John called the cops on him is pissing him off all over again but is there anything he can actually do about it? <em>Not really. </em></p><p>This brings a whole new set of worries though, he called the cops because he assumed Castiel kidnapped his boy. Will he hesitate to call them again for something <em>else? </em>The looming threat frightens him very much, but like a moth to a flame, he hopes he will be able to stay away.</p><p>Castiel is not entirely ready to face John yet, so he goes to pay his son a visit to say good night. The door was wide open so he stands by the doorway, "Need anything?" green eyes instantly peek open to look his way. "Before I turn in-"</p><p>Fuck, he's going to get the police called on him for real next time for doing shit like this. Dean doesn't fucking need anything, why is he even standing in the boys doorway in hopes of maybe starting something he is convincing himself can't ever happen. </p><p>Dean waves him over like there's some big secret that needs to be discussed and like an idiot, he comes over quickly. "The movie was funny-" is all he ends up saying, with a giggle to his statement. </p><p>Nothing of what happened an hour ago is mentioned and it makes Castiel smile warmly, nodding in agreement to his statement. The movie was boring as all hell, almost put him right to sleep a few times but as long as Dean enjoyed himself that's what mattered.</p><p>"You need to sleep now, alright-" he says after a quick chat about the movie and the boy looks up at him expectantly as if there would be a repeat of last nights events. "Dean, no-" his voice is a warning.</p><p>Dean's smile falls instantly, looking extremely hurt and God forbid he start screaming like yesterday. "Okay-" he gives in, sitting on the edge of the bed. "We need to do this quick-" </p><p>The eleven year old quickly scrambles to climb onto his lap, shocking the man completely because where the hell is he learning how to even do <em>this?</em></p><p>Castiel keeps his hands at his sides on the bedspread while the boy makes himself comfortable on his lap. Then comes the soft kiss, Dean was trying to kiss him like a grown up might, like how he must have seen in <em>that </em>movie he mentioned watching before.</p><p>Castiel holds his young face in his hands to steady him, "Slow down-" the boy nods, "Let <em>me </em>kiss you-" now his own lips press against his, softly and guides the kiss the way he wants it to.</p><p>Soft and sweet, the only way he can bare to do this because anything more would make him feel worse about it. "Do you like this?" he manages to ask after a few dozen little kisses.</p><p>Dean smiles sweetly, nodding and closes his eyes when thick fingers brush through his hair lovingly. "I feel warm-" he admits quietly, "In here-" his hand goes down to rest on his tummy.</p><p>Castiel inhales a nervous breath, "Those are butterflies, Dean-" </p><p>What the fuck was he going to do <em>now? </em></p><p>Castiel feels so addicted to this boy, maybe it's just the rush of emotions coursing through his body but this feels like something he just can't quit cold turkey. Dean seems to be feeling the same because his cheeks are flushed in a way they never have been before. </p><p>Wait, was he <em>grinding </em>against him?</p><p>Castiel hisses with arousal before letting himself fall back onto the bed, completely lax because holy fucking crap. "Don't do that-" his eyes are looking up desperately into green, begging him to just <em>behave </em>himself.</p>
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<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Pretty Boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had to cut out a lot of the chapter because I felt like it was too dark and graphic to post. Sorry about that, I didn't want to make anyone too uncomfortable. </p><p>I hope everyone is doing well.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's only six in the evening when Castiel leaves the house to go have dinner with his hospital friends and that of course included Meg Masters. John quickly began to despise her with a passion because she was getting in the way of his relationship with the doctor.</p><p>Meg dropped by without a single warning, sometimes with coffee and other times with takeout. </p><p>John has thought about just killing the damn woman and getting rid of her body somewhere downtown for the locals to find. Yet, he doesn't ever do it because he's too much of a coward for something like that. </p><p>Maybe if Castiel knew the kind of thoughts his boyfriend has on the regular then he might have investigated Mary's disappearance. His wife simply <em>vanished..</em> or did John actually do <em>something</em> to her? </p><p>It's Friday night and the doctor is out with his friends while John is left at home with his pretty boy. Completely and totally <em>alone </em>with the boy who always bites his lip when anxious and it's so fucking cute.</p><p>Dean sometimes even sucks his thumb, maybe not out in the open but definitely in his sleep. John has seen it on those nights that are becoming a little more frequent where he checks in on his boy after midnight.</p><p>There's no doubt he's going to hell when he dies because when Dean's pretty pink lips wrap around his thumb, there's something else he only wishes he would suck on instead.</p><p>It's just so fucking insane how beautiful his own flesh and blood is, sometimes he thinks that maybe he should have given his boy a little <em>brother. </em>The man is screwed up in so many ways that neither Castiel nor Dean know, hopefully one day they will see him for who he really is.</p><p>It's late enough in the evening by now so Dean has already eaten and is sitting on his fathers lap because he requested he do so. It's like he's brainwashed at times, completely forgetting that this man kisses him in funny places and touches him in even weirder places like it's totally normal.</p><p>Eventually the mans knee starts bouncing up and down lightly, the suddenness of it causes the boy to look over his shoulder and down at him in curiosity. "Bath time?" his words come out sounding very gravely. </p><p>Dean looks down at his scrapped knees from where he fell down earlier that day from rough housing too hard with one of the neighbor kids and decides a bath is alright for tonight. John lifts him up like a toddler and carries him to the bathroom.</p><p>The tub begins to fill with lukewarm water and the small boy climbs inside once he's been stripped naked by the older man. Dean's getting used to bath time even though his father is a little rough when it comes to helping him wash his body but he's grown to not care if it kind of hurts when his nails basically scrape at his skin in order to get him squeaky clean.</p><p>His mother was extremely gentle and even used her own pretty bubble bath to bathe him. It was really nice actually and he misses it so much because it was <em>her. </em>It's been months since she's been gone and he knows well enough to pretend that she doesn't exist because asking about <em>mom </em>always earned him a spanking.</p><p>The scent of the bubble gum bubble bath begins to make him feel sick after a few minutes and is tempted to ask if he can use Castiel's body wash in his bath but he knows better. There's no way his father can know that he thinks his <em>friend </em>smells nice or that he's even smelled him at all because he <em>has </em>taken a few good whiffs of the man.</p><p>The boy is playing with his action figures under the water until a soapy hand is fondling his small private parts. His eyes look up at his fathers, "Dad-" the word is a little bit of a protest but he's not mad about it.</p><p>The man bites his bottom lip, "Sorry son-" and continues washing but it's more like fondling curiously. His son fucking <em>sighs </em>after a while like it feels good. "Think we're done here, boy-" he says tightly. "Rinse off and go to your room, I'll be there soon-" </p><p>John leaves the bathroom quickly because it often takes all of his self control to keep himself in check. While his boy rinses off in the shower, this time time alone is used to sneak in a few swigs of whiskey because he's fucking nervous. </p><p>Going further with Dean has been on his mind lately and it's a terrifying thought, yet somehow very enticing and tonight might be the night he hits a home run. Yes, he knows he's a very <em>evil </em>man, he just doesn't give a damn.</p><p>The boy is yawning sleepily into his pillow when his father walks into his bedroom and it becomes very clear that he's not going to be sleeping anytime soon. He hates nights like tonight because the man never did this when his mother was still around.</p><p>A heavy hand lifts the covers off of him and on instinct, he backs up closer to the wall to make room. "Daddy-" the feel of such a large body pressing against him in his tiny bed is suffocating, "Can we go to your bed-" is the thing that comes out of his mouth because he's smothered.</p><p>John loves how his son isn't fighting this anymore, maybe he'll get to fuck his little ass one day. "Only Cas gets to sleep with me on my bed-" that has tears burning the boys green eyes. "We don't want him to know what we do in the dark, do we?"</p><p>Dean thinks about it for a few seconds, "No daddy-" he hiccups. "We don't-"</p><p>Soon a very large hand is rubbing up and down his thigh that still had some baby fat on it. He shivers, eyes wide as hell. "It feels funny-" he protests quietly, making a certain kind of face that conveys mild discomfort. "I don't like this game anymore-"</p><p>"You want to cuddle then?" his boy nods because he's starving to be loved, "Then we gotta play first-" a defiant whine comes in response.</p><p>A thick long finger runs up the eleven year old's thighs to then begin rubbing between that special place that leads to his virgin hole. He whines constantly at the weird intrusion, although there's no pain it's still very strange to feel something <em>there.</em></p><p>The noises of discomfort are what's turning John on and he pushes his luck even more because he wants his son to cry. His free hand starts tugging on his little testicles and it looks like he's struck gold.</p><p>Dean starts crying prettily, "Daddyy-" some more whimpering. "Dad-"</p><p>John leans forward and presses filthy kisses on that young face, "Mmm, that's my boy-" it's not long before his son begins panting as if he's just gotten out of gym class. "It's good, isn't it sweetheart-"</p><p>Dean's still crying and his legs are moving constantly with a strange need. "Daddy I don't wanna play-" his words are urgent. "I have to pee-" he struggles and is kept down by his fathers hand on his chest.</p><p>"I have to go-" his eyes are those of pure terror. "I can't hold it-" and right then he does, instead of having a full orgasm because he's just too young for that. </p><p>A few short spurts of pee shoot out of his little thing while he whimpers uncontrollably. When it's over, he looks up at his father who only stares him down in disgust for having <em>wet </em>the bed.</p><p>Dean pouts while tears sting his eyes and makes grabby hands at his angry father who only walks out of the room without saying a single word. The quick departure only serves to upset him more in his very confused state and cries loudly because of it.</p><p>"Dad!" he screeches, "Daddy!"</p><p>John goes to his bedroom and takes downs the rest of his whiskey before getting into bed. The screams of his little boy across the hall echo disturbingly and it was enough to actually make him feel a little guilty for what he's done.</p><p>When Castiel gets home half an hour later, the boy had stopped crying and he was clueless about anything that had taken place. Regardless of how exhausted he is from the long week and the fun late night out with his coworkers, he still manages to peek into the boys room to check on him. </p><p>Dean was curled up in a lump under the covers and Castiel smiles before closing the door completely unaware of what happened. If only he had known, all hell would have broken loose and he would have taken the boy far away from the man he still calls his <em>boyfriend.</em></p><p>Due to his late night out, Castiel awakens the following day a little after one in the afternoon to find his boyfriend and his son in the living room. Dean was laying on his stomach on the old carpet with a jumbo coloring book cracked open in front of him. </p><p>It was such a pretty picture to see right after waking up so he smiles and comes over to ruffle up his hair before going in to start on lunch. "Have you eaten yet?" of course the question was intended for both of them because no one eats in the house unless he freaking cooks something.</p><p>The reply of <em>no </em>comes out of both Winchesters mouths and in no time at all the eggs are sizzling and the bacon is popping in the pan. Once the delicious aroma of hot food hits their noses, they come to the table to eat.</p><p>Castiel takes into account that Dean is a little quiet but then again, he always is pretty timid around his father. It's only until he's asked the boy if he's sick for the third time in less than twenty minutes that John excuses himself for <em>work </em>and he knew the man wasn't going to the shop on a Saturday.</p><p>"Dean-" he leans a little closer now that they're alone. "What's going on?" the boy shrugs, eating his food and simply not responding.</p><p>Talking to Dean Winchester at times is like pulling teeth, it's so difficult to get him to talk but Castiel is a very patient man. After eating the rest of their meal in silence, he suggests Dean go outside and play for a while and he agrees to it just to get him off his back.</p><p>Castiel is cleaning in the kitchen when he spots the boy sitting on the porch steps and moves to open the door to go sit outside on the creaky rocking chair. The boy looks over his shoulder to see him sit down on his fathers chair with the newspaper in hand. </p><p>"Hey, Dean-" he says gently after a few minutes of pretending to read the paper. "Is something wrong-" their eyes meet. "Is that why you're so quiet?"</p><p>Castiel's stomach drops because he suddenly comes to the conclusion that maybe the boy is scared of him now. The memories of shoving his really long tongue into that sticky mouth come flooding in and it makes him feel extremely nervous.</p><p>Is he going to <em>tell </em>on him?</p><p>Dean looks away at the other kids riding their bikes on the street and says, "I don't feel good-" but in reality it's just sadness he feels over what his father is doing to him when they are alone.</p><p>Castiel is starting to panic internally, "Are you mad at <em>me?" </em></p><p>Now the boy looks over at him innocently and shakes his head, not understand why he would be mad at him. It doesn't really help his nerves at all and simply nods in response and resumes his newspaper.</p><p>Knowing that Sam lives a few streets over, it prompts him to ask about him a few minutes later. "Why don't you go ride your bike with Sam?" his eyes are laser focused on the paper in front of him because the boy on the porch steps is wearing shorts that are a little too small for him.</p><p>It was time to get Dean some new clothes, like <em>soon.</em></p><p>Dean sighs out of exasperation and shrugs, eyes still on the other boys riding their bikes on the street. "He's grounded-" the words come out eventually as if to fill the awkward silence that even an eleven year old could pick up on.</p><p>Castiel closes his newspaper and sets it down on the small table next to the rocking chair. "Come here-" his command is soft, friendly even. The boy scrambles to him and is shocked when he's lifted up onto the mans lap. "You sure you're okay?" </p><p>All he does is blink a few times because those blue eyes are interrogating him intensely. "Mhm-" whimpers, nodding quickly. "I'm okay Castiel-" though his own eyes are telling a completely different story.</p><p>"What are you feeling-" his words are practically said into the boys ear, making him shiver. "Is it your tummy-" his hand rests on his belly a little possessively. </p><p>Dean squirms a little bit, "No-" his voice sounds like he might laugh at any moment. The mans large fingers sort of tickle his belly a little, making him finally giggle. "Stopp-" he whines, squirming even more. "Castiiiieeel, stopp-"</p><p>Castiel looks up at Dean on his lap, "Feel better?" and he nods because he does. <em>For now. </em>"What did you and your dad do while I was gone?" the question is asked so casually because he's genuinely interested in what they had gotten up to in his rare absence. </p><p>The boy freezes up and shrugs because he's not supposed to tell that he wet the bed after playing his fathers game. "I took a bath-" is the truth he admits to instead.</p><p>Castiel leans in to inhale his scent, nodding. "I can tell, you smell very clean-" there's a smile on his face. "I hated taking baths when I was little, I'm glad you enjoy them."</p><p>Dean doesn't know what to say so he smiles awkwardly, his pointy teeth peeking out a little. "It's boring, Castiel-" he says then, "Sam touched a girls butt in school <em>and </em>they called his mom-" inhales sharply, talking fast. "His mom grounded him <em>and</em> he can't play with me for a month-" exhales loudly in frustration. </p><p>"Oh noo-" he fakes the sadness in his voice to humor the child. "What if we go get you some ice cream to make you forget all about it?"</p><p>The boy laughs sweetly before nodding and it's a done deal, though Castiel doesn't quite understand why Dean keeps giggling on his lap until his eyes glance down to see that he's been sort of massaging his inner thighs.</p><p>Rather than apologizing and bringing attention to the slip of his hand, the attention is refocused on a shopping trip to get Dean some new clothes that were very much needed.</p><p>There's no way in God's green earth that he will be able to keep his hands to himself with this cute boy walking around in tiny shorts and shirts that fit too tightly so yes, a trip to the mall was on the days agenda.</p><p>After ice cream, <em>obviously.</em></p>
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